by Jill Shalvis
“Oh, no.” His mom put her hand to her mouth. “You were dumped.”
“No—” He blinked. “And why would you think I’d be dumped?”
She had the good grace to wince. “I mean . . . it happens to everyone at least once, right?”
“I wasn’t dumped. I made her up.”
His mom dropped her hand from her mouth to her heart. “Are you telling me you’d rather lie to my face about not having a girlfriend just so that you don’t have to introduce her to me? You’re that ashamed of us?”
There wasn’t enough pain medication for this.
“All I’ve ever wanted is for you to be happy,” his mom said softly with the threat of tears in her voice. “And you having someone in your life was the best news I’ve had in a long time. It means everything to me.”
He exhaled slowly and felt himself cave like a cheap suitcase. “Jane’s not been in Sunrise Cove for long. And as for what she does, she’s a nurse.”
“A nurse,” she repeated, sounding impressed. “I’d so love to meet her, and before you say no, I promise to not embarrass you.”
“Mom.” He reached for her hand. “You don’t embarrass me.”
“Good. Then you can invite her to our big fortieth anniversary dinner.”
The regular Cutler family dinners were a mixture of bickering, disagreeing, and once in a while, a good food fight to boot. Holidays were regular family dinner times two. His parents’ fortieth anniversary dinner, four weeks from now, would be exponentially worse. He wouldn’t wish it on his worst enemy. “Mom, that’s really not necessary—”
“Oh no, you don’t.” She sucked in a deep breath, her eyes sparkling with sudden tears. “You think I don’t know that you’re underplaying what happened last night? How we could’ve lost you? With Jane, you’ve finally moved on from Amy’s passing and are ready to live your life, and in one fell swoop it could’ve been over.”
There was a single beat of uncomfortable silence. The Cutlers didn’t do emotions well. No one, not his dad and certainly not his sister, wanted to discuss feelings. Ever.
Levi wasn’t much better. Yes, Amy had been the first person in his life to understand him, to get who he was, and he’d adored her for that. With her, he’d never had to explain himself or his differences. She’d actually been a lot like him, and while he’d never been as convinced as she that their genuine affection and love for each other meant that they were in love or that they’d make good life partners, he was afraid he’d never find that easy acceptance again. Thinking about her gave him a definite ache, but after two years, he’d finally gotten good at dealing with his shit. “You didn’t lose me, Mom. I’m right here.”
“I know, and I’m grateful for that. And I love that you’re finally seeing someone,” she said in that fierce mama bear tone she’d been using with a hundred percent success rate on him since birth. “All I’m asking for is a chance to meet the woman who brought your big, beautiful heart back to life.”
His so-called big, beautiful heart pinched. Calling home last night had been beyond stupid. But more, it’d been selfish.
“I thought we’d lost you,” she said quietly, desperately.
“I’m really okay—”
“I meant when you left Tahoe. We hardly ever see you anymore.”
Okay, true. But that hadn’t been just about losing Amy. It’d also been because he’d felt . . . smothered here. San Francisco had been good for him, really good.
His mom came close and cupped his face. “When you called last night, there was something in your voice.”
Yes, because he’d been pretty sure he’d been about to die a terrible, horrible death.
“You had love in it,” she whispered. “I could tell you were deeply moved. Clearly, Jane did that for you. I want to meet her, Levi. I want to hug her and thank her. And feed her. At my anniversary dinner.”
Yeah, he was a selfish idiot. “Mom, that’s weeks from now. By then I’ll be back in the city. You and Dad usually go out, just the two of you.”
“Not this year. This year I’m having a dinner party with my family, and that means you. And you can’t leave and come back. Mateo said you’ll have to rest for several weeks at least. So see, you will be here for the dinner.”
“That is not anything close to what he said.”
“That’s what I heard.” His mom looked at Levi’s dad. “Tell him, Hank.”
Levi’s dad turned to him. “You should do what you want, son. You always did.”
There was a lot to unpack with that statement, but Levi’s head was throbbing and his vision was blurry and all he wanted was to close his eyes. “I can take care of myself while I heal.”
“Levi Anthony Cutler, we’re perfectly qualified to help you and care for you even if you’re smarter than the rest of us put together!”
“Hey,” Tess complained, then shrugged. “Okay, maybe. But probably the concussion killed some of his brain cells, right? It might’ve knocked his high IQ down a few points and evened the playing field.”
“You’ll stay,” his mom said to him.
Resistance was futile. “For as long as medically advised,” he said—as much as he was willing to concede.
His mom beamed from ear to ear. “I’ll cook, you’ll eat. And . . . we’re going to get to meet Jane!”
Welp, he’d walked right into that one. Which actually put his so-called high IQ in question. “I’ll still need to work,” he reminded her.
“You’re your own CEO. You can work from anywhere.”
That might be true, but unlike everyone else who shared his last name, he needed his own space to function. A quiet space, and order.
And possibly a lobotomy.
Daisy came in, took one look at Levi, and shook her head. “Everyone out,” she said. “My patient needs quiet.”
Levi nearly asked her to marry him on the spot. When the room was blessedly empty, he gave her a look of gratitude. “Thank you.”
“Don’t thank me. They won’t go far.”
Didn’t he know it. He ran his thumb over Jane’s locket. She’d want it back, he knew that much. Pretend girlfriend or not, he was going to have to find her. And why that gave him his first real smile of the day, he wasn’t sure he wanted to know.
Chapter 6
Charlotte walked through the hospital, realizing that even after ten straight hours of being on her feet, she was feeling good. Even cheerful. Weird as it might be to anyone not in the field, she loved her life here. Loved everything about what she did. Helping people. Healing people.
It distracted her from her own life.
As for why she needed that distraction in the first place—well, she wasn’t one to dwell, so she didn’t go there.
Realizing her stomach was grumbling and that she hadn’t eaten in far too long, she headed toward the staff room. Surely it was someone’s birthday and there would be goodies.
She loved goodies.
As she entered, the large room went silent. Interesting. They weren’t a silent bunch. They were highly educated know-it-alls with a social immaturity that came from being in college for half of their lives. She narrowed her eyes. “What?”
It was dinnertime, so the room was fuller than normal. There were staff on the two couches, at the two tables, standing in the small kitchenette area.
All looking at her.
“Did I miss a call?” she asked.
“You won the pool.” This from Mateo. His voice was its usual husky tone, the one that tended to give her goose bumps. Goose bumps she pretended meant he grated on her nerves.
A big fat lie. “Which pool?”
Valid question. Important too. There were at any given time ten to twenty different pools going on at the hospital. Yes, the staff members were swamped and run ragged almost every minute of the day. But in those rare seconds they could socialize, it was almost always about their ongoing wagers.
Could Lonny make it through his shift without one of his four-year-old twins cal
ling 911 to talk to their “daddy.”
Could Rae keep herself from pranking anyone.
Could Mateo manage to not get hit on by a patient or patient’s family member.
Could Charlotte keep herself from going in on a new bet for a whole shift.
Note that the last one had been the only bet she’d failed so far.
“You won for the most compliments in a twenty-four-hour period from non-hospital staff,” Mateo said. “Which I had to double- and triple-check because I still don’t get how your patients and patients’ families never fail to make sure everyone in the hospital knows how amazing you are.”
“You doubt the compliments are genuine?”
His eyes darkened. “No. Because I know exactly how amazing you are.”
The parts of herself she’d closed off squirmed. She ignored those parts. “Then what’s the problem?”
“You’ve won every pool this week.”
“And?” she asked.
“And you’re getting rich off us.”
She laughed and held out her hand for the envelope of cash, not a single regret in her mind because everyone in this room made enough money. “So I’m a little competitive, so what?”
Mateo snorted. “A little? You still haven’t forgiven Montana for beating you out on the number of surgeries you performed in a twenty-four-hour period last week.”
“That’s because she cheated.”
“I did not!” Montana pointed at her with a soda can. “It’s not my fault I got called onto the floor for one last surgery before the end of shift.”
“It was fifteen seconds until the end of your shift. It shouldn’t have counted. In fact, let’s just have a redo.”
Montana suddenly beamed. “Yes, let’s.”
Charlotte nodded her head.
“Ha!” Montana practically bounced up and down as she clapped. “You just lost today’s bet, the one where you promised not to go in a pool today.”
Well, damn.
“Your hot streak is over,” Montana said.
“Temporarily only,” she said.
The crowd went back to talking and eating. Well, everyone except Mateo, who was just watching her, slowly shaking his head.
“What?” she asked.
“Nothing.”
“It’s something,” she insisted. “Let’s hear it.”
He looked at her for a long moment. Then he smiled with his eyes. “Maybe another time.”
“Why?”
“You’re not ready.”
And then he walked off. She found herself watching him go. “When will I be ready?”
He turned and caught her staring at his ass, and the smile hit his mouth. “Maybe sooner than I thought.”
AN INCREDIBLY LONG week—which felt like five years—of “rest and relaxation” later, Levi finally escaped the family house for a doctor’s appointment. After an exam and the removal of his stitches, he walked out of the doctor’s office to where Tess was waiting for him in the parking lot. He slid into the passenger seat of her car, relieved as hell.
“Well?” she asked. “Is your head still scrambled?”
“Only slightly. Headaches might be a thing for me for a while yet.” He could live with that. “The good news is my freedom’s been obtained. I’ve been cleared to drive again.” And the relief was nearly overwhelming. He’d forgotten what it’d been like to live at home.
“Prepare for the inquisition, then,” Tess warned. “You know Mom’s been holding back for this very moment, trying her very best not to hound you about Jane, and why she hasn’t checked in on you.”
“Maybe we’ve been texting and calling.”
“Maybe.” Tess looked out at the parking lot. Her voice was flat when she asked, “You’re going to hightail it out of here now, aren’t you.”
“Eventually,” he said. “But not yet.”
She looked over at him, her eyes too shiny. “Not yet?” She sniffed. “Really?”
“Yeah, really.” He was surprised by her show of emotion, and also concerned. It wasn’t like a Cutler to be anything other than “perfectly fine.” “It’ll be another few weeks before I’m fully recovered, and you know Mom wants me to stay until their anniversary party.” She still hadn’t told him what she’d called him up to Tahoe for in the first place, insisting it was nothing for him to worry about while he was recovering. “What’s going on, Tess?”
“Nothing.”
“Try again.”
She sighed. “I didn’t tell Mom and Dad, but Cal and I didn’t have a prenup.” She drew a deep breath. “He took all the money out of our accounts before he ran off to Bali with the babysitter.”
“What the—” He scrubbed a hand down his face. His anger wasn’t going to help her. “What did the police say?”
“Turns out that neither screwing the babysitter nor taking money out of joint accounts is illegal.”
Maybe not, but Levi would like to have a minute alone with Cal to teach him a little respect. With his fist to the guy’s face. Since that was not the reaction Tess needed, he kept it to himself. But the money thing, that he could do something about. “I could help—”
“No. I don’t want your money. I want my own life back.” Angrily she swiped a few tears from her cheeks. Then she gripped the steering wheel tight and leaned in closer to the windshield to eyeball the car cutting in front of her in the roundabout. “Hey! Asshole!” she yelled, punctuating each syllable with her horn. “I have the right of way!” Then she took the roundabout on two wheels.
“Maybe I should drive.”
“I’m fine!”
“Yeah, I can see that—” He winced. “There’s another car coming—”
“I have the right of way!” She sped up, and when the second car honked at her, Tess told him he was number one. With her middle finger.
Five minutes later, she whipped into the parking lot of Cutler Sporting Goods. Levi let out a relieved breath and uncurled his fingers from the dashboard. Look at him. He’d survived a blizzard and his sister’s driving.
“I’ve got to get to work,” she said. “I’ll get a ride home with Mom or Dad. Take my car and go rest.”
“You’re picking up a lot of hours.”
She shrugged. “I’m taking on extra shifts when I can fit them in between Peyton’s dance classes or when she’s at a friend’s house.”
“Saving up to move out?”
“To fund my depression drugs.”
“Tess,” he said quietly.
“It was a joke. Well, sort of. I am eating a lot of barbecue-flavored potato chips. Supposedly not habit forming, though, so no worries.”
When Tess got out of the car, Levi moved into the driver’s seat. Funny how adrift he’d felt while being unable to drive, how out of control. Felt good to be in charge of his destiny again.
He ran two quick errands, stopping for a pizza and then at the Cake Walk for a specialty cupcake. He took the pizza to the hospital and asked for Mateo.
His oldest friend appeared at the front desk five minutes later, looking surprised to see Levi. “You okay?”
“Getting there, thanks to you.” He pushed the pizza across the greeting desk. “I didn’t bring the beer to go with it since you’re working.”
Mateo picked up the box. “I don’t need the thanks. But I definitely need the pizza.” He looked at Levi. “Is this a do-over pizza?”
“Yes. Is it working?”
“Possibly.” Mateo started to walk away, but stopped to say, “Keep them coming.”
Levi left the hospital and drove up to the North Diamond Resort. He parked and stared out his windshield at the imposing snow-covered mountain in front of him.
The sun was out, making the snow sparkle like diamonds—hence the resort’s name. At 7,500 feet, the air was crisp but somehow also warm at the same time, and the sky was so clear and sharp blue it looked photoshopped. Feeling an odd and uncomfortable sense of déjà vu, he got out and breathed in the harsh, cold, crisp air of winter,
welcoming the freezing freshness of it. He turned his face up to the sun, but the air was too cold, too all-encompassing, to warm him. He didn’t mind. Winter worked for him. Winter invigorated him.
Even if it’d almost killed him.
The parking lot was full, the lifts were running, and given all the skiers and snowboarders on the ski runs, business was booming in spite of what had happened with the gondola only a week ago.
The investigation had yielded a decision that it’d all been a freak accident. Earlier on the day of the storm, there’d been some construction work done and somehow a piece of debris had been left behind. A small chunk of wood. The vicious wind had knocked it onto the track.
The odds against such a thing were astronomical.
But Levi still didn’t get onto the gondola.
Instead, he found a friend who happened to be on ski patrol and hitched a ride on his snowmobile up to the urgent care clinic at mid-mountain. He entered the clinic and asked if Jane was working. He’d called earlier. He’d called all the clinics. He couldn’t get anyone to tell him who was on duty. So here he was . . .
“She’s not on our schedule today,” the nurse at the front desk told him.
He drove to High Alpine Resort next. No luck there either.
Two hours later, Levi walked into the last urgent care clinic in the area. This one was in Sunrise Cove, right next to the hospital.
There was no one behind the front desk, but he didn’t need help because Jane was standing in the middle of the room wearing scrubs and a familiar attitude, staring up at the only other person in the room—a huge guy, at least six-five, and clearly a fan of daily lifting at the gym.
His expression was dialed to royally pissed off, his entire body taut with tension. “Hell, no,” he growled at Jane. “Not happening.”
Jane, maybe five-four, and that was including the pile of wild dark red hair knotted on top of her head, was hands on hips, head tilted back to see the guy’s face, clearly not at all impressed by the macho display. “We’ve been through this before, Nick,” she said calmly. “And we both know who won. So you can either walk to the back of your own free will”—she gestured toward the door behind her, which presumably led to the patient rooms—“or I can call your wife again.”
