After Frankie, I just can’t. And if I were ready to date again—which I’m not—Drake wouldn’t be the kind of man I’d be interested in. He’s big, powerful, and dangerous. Not that I think Drake would ever do anything to hurt me on purpose. I’ve seen how gentle he is with the twins, but it isn’t a risk I’m willing to take. If he did turn on me, I wouldn’t stand a chance of defending myself.
Then why did you tell Lindsay? You knew she would get excited and encourage you to date the man. If you weren’t in the least bit interested, you would have kept this a secret.
My inner voice can be such a dick sometimes. I completely ignore the thought. I’m not ready to admit any of that to myself, yet
“Yes, I really did kiss him. Well, technically he kissed me first, and I kissed him back, but yes… kissing.”
“And…” she presses in typical Lindsay fashion. I knew she wouldn’t let it go with just that.
“He asked me out, and I said no.”
Lindsay’s eyes widen. “You kissed the man then turned him down for a date? Why on earth would you do that?”
I clamp my lips closed. I’ve confessed all that I’m going to confess for the evening.
“Look, Jos. I know you’ve been through some shit—no, I won’t push to know what all that bastard of an ex did to you, I know enough to want to maim the fucker already—but the past is said and done. You’ve gotta start living in the now and for the future.”
Logically, I know she’s right. I’ve been here for three years without any hint that I’ve been found. When Mrs. O’Neal got me in touch with her brother-in-law, everything changed for me. Everything.
With a few well-pulled strings, I was given a new identity that would stand up to the most rigorous tests. We are talking witness protection level good. I have a fake childhood, complete with pictures. I have death certificates for Tammy and Kevin Brooks who tragically died in a car accident leaving behind their only daughter—me.
Three years ago, Joselynn Brooks packed up and moved from Tulsa, Oklahoma—a place I’ve never actually been—to Charlotte, North Carolina. She went to a large high school where it would be easy for no one to remember her. She had a four-point-o GPA and was on the debate team.
The lie is so perfect that sometimes I can almost believe it myself. I have no idea how Kieffer did it, but I was given a new life, and until this moment I didn’t even realize I was squandering it.
“Why don’t you just give him a chance? One date wouldn’t hurt anything.”
Chewing my bottom lip, I consider her words. What would it hurt to go on one date?
“You’re probably right,” I begrudgingly admit. “But—”
“Aah aah ah, no buts!” Lindsay cuts me off. “One date. Promise me.”
I’m not sure that I’ll even see Drake again, so I make my promise that if he asks again, I’ll say yes. Now I’m stuck between hoping he doesn’t ask again and wishing like hell that he does.
6
Drake
“Unka Dwake, pway! Pway!”
It’s been three days since Blake woke up and since I moved in with her and Hutch to help when the twins came, I’m on official uncle duty watching my nephew, Brenden. He’s hit terrible twos with a vengeance and having both his mom and dad at the hospital for days on end has not helped matters.
“Okay, okay, little man, I’m up. How about we get dressed and go have pancakes?”
“Cake cake cake…” he sing-songs in agreement.
Bleary-eyed from a noticeable lack of sleep—having kids is no joke, I have a newfound respect for single parents everywhere—I pull on a pair of jeans and a t-shirt. Brenden is practically dancing in place in impatience as I tie my shoes.
“Alright, kid, let’s go find you something to wear.”
“Badman!”
“Batman,” I correct. “You wore your Batman shirt yesterday. How about Spiderman instead?”
“Badman! Badman! Badman!”
“Little dude, Batman is dirty.”
“Badman!” My adorable little nephew’s voice reaches ear-bleeding decibels as he screams for his Batman shirt.
“I think after pancakes we should go to the park. Would you like to go swing?” I’m not above a little bribery if it’ll stop a full-blown tantrum which is what my stubborn little nephew is winding up to. “Do you know who loves to swing?”
“Piderman!”
“That’s right. Spiderman swings from buildings. I bet he would like regular swings too.” Annnd with that mini-distraction the battle of wills is won. Maybe this parenting thing isn’t so bad.
* * *
Brenden is a whirling dervish as he runs around the park. He probably didn’t need the extra sugar from the chocolate chips in the pancakes… Hopefully, he will run himself out and be ready for a nap by the time we head home.
My phone rings and I see it’s a video call from Blake.
“Hey buddy, come over and talk to mommy,” I call out to Brenden as I connect the call.
Blake is sitting up in her hospital bed looking flushed and happy.
“Mommy!” Brenden screeches and snatches my phone from my hand.
“Hi baby, are you being a good boy for Uncle Drake?”
Brenden’s little face turns serious as he nods. “Mommy home?”
I scoop my nephew up and sit him on my lap so I can see the phone screen. Blake’s smile fades. “Not today, baby. Soon though. Mommy misses you. I love you.”
Brenden turns away, burying his face in my shirt. I wrap a comforting arm around him and rub his back. Blake is blinking back tears of her own. “How are you, sis?”
“Better. The doctor just left, and everything looks good. They think I can leave either tomorrow or the next day.”
“That’s good news. How are Caiden and Haiden?”
Blake shifts in the bed and moves the phone so that the camera is pointed at my best friend sleeping in a chair, both girls cradled against Hutch’s chest. Blake comes back into view, and she smiles. “They are just perfect. Their doctor released them this morning, but Hutch refuses to take them home without me. He says we will all go home the same way we came here—together.”
I nod in agreement. I can’t imagine what I would do in Hutch’s position. Actually, that’s a lie. If my wife were in the hospital after almost dying, I would most certainly refuse to leave her side.
“How’s he been?” Blake asks, her eyes flicking to Brenden.
“He’s good. He misses you guys. Don’t worry, I’m keeping him busy. Just worry about getting better so you can come home.”
“I just feel so guilty,” she confesses.
I roll my eyes. “You have nothing to feel guilty for. Brenden is fine,” I lightly tickle his side, “Aren’t you, buddy?” I continue to tickle him until he squirms away with a happy laugh. “See, sis, nothing to worry about.”
One of the twins starts to fuss, and I can see that Blake is torn between wanting to talk more with Brenden and wanting to comfort the baby. I roll my eyes again at her obvious mom guilt. So very misplaced.
“Brenden come blow mommy a kiss,” I say.
Instead of blowing a kiss, he grabs my phone and presses a slobbery kiss to the screen. I hear Blake laughing and making kissy noises at her son. I love yous and good-byes are exchanged then it’s just me, Brenden, and a slobber covered phone.
“You ready to go home, buddy?”
“No, nap!” Brenden says stubbornly.
Boy, he has my number. It’s totally nap time, but I’m not his parent, I’m his uncle and what’s the point of being an uncle if you can’t spoil your nephew rotten while his parents are away?
“Let’s swing, kiddo.”
Brenden jumps from my lap and runs across the park. I look around and notice there are twice as many people here than there were. I feel eyes on me as I follow my nephew to the swings. Tension builds between my shoulder blades. It takes a conscious effort to keep my expression relaxed. My default when people stare is to glare by best eat-
shit-and-die face, but I’m trying to do better.
In one of the many conversations I shared with Joselynn while hanging out in the nursery with the twins, she mentioned how much I scowl and that maybe if I didn’t others would react differently to me. I think she’s wrong, but I’m trying. Having Brenden with me is good practice because it’s impossible to be my usual surly self when he’s around.
I help Brenden onto the swing and give him a little push. I do my best to ignore the not-so-quiet whispers from the group of moms that are watching their kids play in the sandbox. But hearing words like ‘disfigured’ and ‘hideous’ and my favorite ‘monstrous’ eats away at my best intentions. I’m seconds away from showing them how monstrous I can look when a warm body presses against my back and arms wrap around my waist, small hands resting on my abs.
The sweet smell of citrus tells me who it is even before she speaks—Joselynn. My firecracker.
“Hey, handsome, sorry I’m late.”
She gives me a little squeeze then pulls away so I can turn to her. She’s wearing a pair of dark jeans and a t-shirt that says ‘You’ve Gotta Be Kitten Me’ with a picture of a cat on it. She’s got on a pair of glasses with blue and purple frames that I’ve never seen her wear before. Somehow, her glasses highlight the blueness of her eyes instead of hiding them. I want to ask why she doesn’t wear glasses all the time.
Despite the ridiculous shirt, she looks fucking gorgeous. Her face is scrubbed clean of makeup, and her hair is loose around her shoulders instead of in her usual tight braid. She looks relaxed and comfortable in her own skin. She’s perfection. And when she raises up on her tiptoes and brushes a gentle kiss against my ruined cheek right there in front of the bitches who were talking shit about my scars, I feel like I’m ten feet tall.
This woman. If I weren’t already gone for her, I sure as hell would be now. My arms automatically go around her like it’s the most natural thing ever. Her hands are pinned between our bodies, and I can feel her fingers flex against my chest when I pull her close. Her eyes dilate, and her lips part slightly as I lean in and kiss her softly.
“You’re just in time, firecracker.”
“How can she stand to let that… that… monster touch her like that?” one of the women hisses loud enough that anyone in the general vicinity could hear her cruel words. Joselynn stiffens in my arms for a second before pushing away. At first, I think it’s in embarrassment, but then I see the pure unadulterated rage written all over her face. Before I can fully comprehend what has happened, Joselynn is marching across the playground toward the small group of women.
I’m torn between chasing after her before she can do something crazy and staying put to make sure Brenden doesn’t fall. Thankfully, the kid is oblivious to the tension and just pumps his little legs ineffectually while the swing lightly shuttles him back and forth.
“Who said that?” Joselynn’s voice is like a whip crack.
Kids run around playing without a care, but every adult eye is trained on my firecracker. The women shift uncomfortably and several side-eye the woman I assume is the culprit.
“How dare you mock and belittle a man for being scarred. While you were sitting here drinking your fancy coffees and going to yoga and playdates, that man,” Joselynn points my direction, “was fighting for the very freedom you so callously take for granted. Every single scar on that man’s body is part of the price men and women who are better than you will ever be pay every single day so you can have the privilege of freedom.”
The woman opens her mouth to respond, and Joselynn raises her hand to stop her. “I don’t want to hear your pathetic excuses. You sit there in your designer clothes with your makeup perfect and not a single hair out of place on your head, and you are the ugliest person I have ever seen in my life. All of you,” she says, pointing at each woman in turn. “hide your ugliness under your so-called beauty. You call him a monster, but you’re the only monsters I see.”
I’m humbled that Joselynn would stand up for me like this, but I can tell the women who were caught off guard by Joselynn’s approach are quickly finding their resolve and if I don’t intervene things are going to get ugly.
“Let’s go save the mean ladies, buddy.” I scoop up Brenden and set him on my shoulders. I bounce a little causing him to squeal in happiness. “Hey firecracker, why don’t we let these nice ladies enjoy the rest of their afternoon?”
She looks at me with mild irritation. She has the look of a woman on a mission, and that mission seems to be standing up for me against any and every person who dares look at me sideways. It’s sexy as hell, and if I didn’t have a two-year-old clinging to my ears, I would take her in my arms and kiss her breathless.
I wrap my arm around her shoulders and lead her toward the parking area. The women break out into snickers and Joselynn tenses as if she’s going to turn, but I tighten my grip on her slightly. She looks up at me, her eyes blue fire.
“Ignore them.”
“But…” she starts to protest.
“I love that you want to defend me, but I can think of much better things that sharp tongue of yours can be used for.”
She snaps her lips shut, her cheeks turning a fierce shade of pink. I can’t keep myself from holding her a little tighter as we walk.
When we get to my truck, I pluck Brenden from my shoulders and set him down. He purses his little lips and looks between Joselynn and me.
“Are you Dwake’s?”
It takes an immense amount of restraint to not laugh at the look on her face when he asks her if she’s mine. Yeah, little dude, she is totally mine. I want to say, but don’t dare, yet.
“I’m Drake’s friend. My name is Joselynn, what’s yours?”
“Bwenden.”
Joselynn squats down in front of my small nephew and extends her hand. Brenden wraps his little fingers around hers, and she gently shakes his hand. “Very nice to meet you, Brenden.”
“Are you going to take a nap with Unka Dwake? I don’t wike naps. Unka Dwake wikes naps.”
“I… um…”
“Why don’t we get you in your seat, little man.”
I quickly fasten him in his seat and hand him his stuffed frog. An ugly thing he absolutely loves and drags around everywhere. I close the door, giving Joselynn and I a semblance of privacy.
“I…” Joselynn starts, but I cut her off with a kiss. My lips sear to hers, and I growl as she molds her body to mine. I break the kiss on a groan because if I don’t stop now, I won’t stop at all.
“Thank you,” I say with sincerity.
She blinks half-dazed eyes up at me. “For?”
“Being you,” I shrug and nod my head toward the park. “For having my back.”
Her eyes flash with anger. “I hate people like that.”
“You get used to it.”
“That just… I just…” Joselynn makes an inarticulate sound in the back of her throat that more than says precisely what she’s thinking. She hates that people look at me and only see my scars. She hates that people judge me based on my appearance and that they find me lacking. My firecracker has the heart of a warrior.
I cup her cheek and rub my thumb along the silky softness of her skin. I look over my shoulder and see Brenden’s little head is lolled to the side, his eyes closed in sleep. Satisfied that he’s okay for a few more minutes I turn back to Joselynn kiss her again.
And again.
When she puts her hand to my chest and takes a step back, her lips are slightly swollen and a darker shade of pink. She looks like a goddess with those kiss swollen lips and a faint blush to her cheeks.
“So, firecracker, what brings you to the park today?” I ask before I give in to the temptation of those sweet lips again.
“Oh… I was just out soaking up some vitamin-D before I have to go to work later. One of the girls called in, so I’m pulling a double, it’ll be a while before I get the chance to enjoy the sunshine again.”
“You should be resting if you’re goin
g to be working eighteen plus hours in a row,” I scold. I absolutely hate the idea of Joselynn working such long hours. Especially knowing that she will probably work through her breaks because she loves spending her time in the nursery. All the others make the job exactly what it is: work. Joselynn treats every baby like they are the most important thing in her world. Every interaction is bathed in love.
She scoffs. “I can always take a cat nap in the on-call room if I need to. This isn’t the first double I’ve pulled. I’ll be fine. Long hours don’t bug me nearly as much as being locked away from the sunshine.”
A darkness creeps into her eyes for a brief moment, but then it’s gone as if it were never there. She looks past me at a sleeping Brenden. “You should probably get that one home.”
I nod. Joselynn’s right, I should, but I don’t want to leave her. I walked away the other day because it was the right thing to do. It was excruciating, and walking away again might be the hardest damn thing I’ve ever done.
Without a thought, I pull her into my arms and press my lips to hers. She gasps in surprise then moans as my tongue slicks across her closed lips. She opens to me, and it’s my turn to moan. Her strawberries and cream sweetness explodes through my senses, and I’m lost. We kiss each other, breaking away only when we are both breathless.
“Go out with me.” There is a hint of command in my voice. I know I should ask, but I can’t find it in myself to be the gentleman she deserves at this moment. “Go out with me,” I say again when she doesn’t respond.
“But—” I cut her off with my lips. Kissing her until she is once again breathless.
“Go out with me.”
“I—” Once again I cut her off, pressing my lips to hers until her head falls back and her lips part, making way for me to deepen the kiss.
This time I barely pull away. When I speak, my lips move against hers, drawing our kiss out into something slow and precious. “Don’t say no, firecracker. Go out with me.”
She makes no effort to answer with words. Instead, she wraps her arms around me and holds me to her lips, kissing me senseless. It’s only when a car door slams nearby, causing Joselynn to jump do we part.
His Firecracker: Sassy Girls Series Page 5
