by Harlow James
“Same here with Hayes,” Waverly adds, holding her hand up.
“But…” I go to argue, but Shayla stops me.
“No one understands how hard this must be for you better than me,” she starts, swallowing before continuing. “You and I have been each other’s family for more than half of our lives, Chloe. But now… Silas and your son are your family. If you didn’t have feelings for him, he wouldn’t be in those daydreams of yours. You’re getting the chance to build your own family now with a man that I’m sure loves you too, but that doesn’t mean that I won’t be here still.” Her hand searches mine out as Waverly squeezes the other one she already has a hold of. “That just means that now you have a man to have sex with you since you and I will never have that kind of relationship.” Her wink has me chuckling, thinking back to when I said that to her during my speech at her wedding.
“But what if he doesn’t want those things? What if he won’t allow himself to?” I ask desperately. “The man doesn’t do relationships. Is he all of a sudden going to because I’m having his baby?”
“He’s not going to be with you just because of that, Chloe. He’s going to be with you because he loves you too. It’s so obvious,” Waverly says while rolling her eyes. “The baby brought you together, but how you feel about one another is going to keep you together.”
“I’m so afraid of doing this wrong, of getting hurt. I’ve never put myself in this position before, and now I’m creating the possibility to be wrecked worse than I ever have in my life.”
“Is that how you feel?”
“I mean, I know that losing my parents was rough, but my family wasn’t close and there wasn’t love there. I closed myself off from feeling that while in foster care and group homes. Shayla is the only person I’ve ever let in, and that’s because she forced her way inside of my walls.”
“Damn straight,” she says with a grin.
“But this is real. This is the rest of my life. This is my family.”
“You need to talk to him, Chloe. You need to tell him how you’re feeling. I know in my heart you two are meant to be, but you need to decide on what your future looks like together,” Shayla states with a shrug. “You don’t have to bring your baggage into the future. You can start this next phase of your lives together from a clean slate, exactly the way you two want it to be.”
“I know. But it’s just been so easy to put it off, focusing on the baby and not what comes next.”
“I hate to break it to you, but you’re officially at the point in your life where you actually have to start thinking about that, Chloe. Every day you have to be prepared at least a little for what’s to come because having a family means other people counting on you, needing you…loving you. And you loving them in return.” She stands and gives me a hug. “Let Silas love you. Let yourself be happy. Jump in with both feet. At least then if things don’t work out, you know you tried.”
“Don’t live with regrets, Chloe,” Waverly adds before standing and hugging me too.
I’ve never regretted anything in my life—but not giving myself a chance at a real family just might be the one thing I do.
* * *
“Silas?”
I step through the front door, arriving home after the baby shower, anxious to find him and feel his arms around me. It’s ironic that the very man that has me flopping back and forth like a fish about my feelings is the same one that makes me feel whole when he’s holding me to his chest.
“Chloe?” I hear his voice before I see him, but soon he’s appearing before my eyes from the hallway that leads to my bedroom. “Hey. How was the baby shower?”
The man looks amazing in dark blue jeans and a classic white tee, but it’s the tool belt that really has my mouth watering.
“What are you doing walking toward me right now looking like a snack?”
“What?” He looks down at his body and then back up to me.
“The toolbelt, the jeans…if I didn’t have to pee right now, I’d be jumping your bones.”
And there’s that smirk forming on his lips that makes my clit light up for the man. “Well, save that thought for later. There’s something I want to show you.” He reaches out his hand, waiting for mine. I gladly intercept his strong grip and then follow him back down the hallway he came from. I dip into the bathroom quickly to pee, and then he takes my hand again.
But he doesn’t lead me to my room. No, he stops us outside of the baby’s room right next to mine.
“I have a surprise for you.”
“Okay.”
“You have to close your eyes first though,” he declares.
“Fine,” I huff out, but smile as I do so. Silas turns the knob on the door and then gently pulls me a few feet from where I was standing.
“Okay, open your eyes now,” he whispers close to my ear, his breath touching my skin and causing tingles to travel all the way down my spine.
I slowly lift my eyelids, and the sight before me has me gasping in shock and awe. “Silas…”
“What do you think, Chloe?”
I’m mesmerized, taking in the nursery that Silas completed while I was gone today. The paint had already been done, but that was it. Silas kept telling me to wait until after the baby shower for us to finish it, but little did I know that the man was up to his own plan.
Dark blue walls the color of the ocean provide a backdrop to the deep mahogany crib and changing table combination, a dresser, and a rocking chair that weren’t here before. The bedding that matches our Finding Nemo theme is already washed and arranged on the crib mattress, and fishing nets are hanging in the corners of the room. An anchor and other nautical items decorate the walls as well, and a quote from the movie is painted onto the wall above the closet.
“I look at you, and I’m home.”
But the picture hanging above the crib is what’s instantly causing tears to form in my eyes again.
“Oh my God…”
“They turned out beautifully, didn’t they?”
A canvas printed with one of the pictures from our maternity shoot is hanging right above where our son will sleep, a picture of Silas and I topless, him kissing my forehead, his hands cradling my stomach, and my eyes closed, absorbing his embrace.
I remember thinking in that moment that I could stay right there forever—with this man, with our baby.
And now I know that’s what I want.
I love him.
I love everything this man stands for and how selflessly he’s cared for me, how special and cherished he makes me feel, how amazing of a father I know he’s going to be because he has no problem showing me that same devotion.
And the effort and time he put into making this nursery is incredible and means so much to me—I never thought I’d have something like this in my life.
“Look at how gorgeous you are, Chloe.” He comes up behind me, putting his hands around my belly. “You were so worried about what you look like, but all I see is a miracle, the definition of life in its most raw state. I told you they’d be stunning…because you are, baby.”
I spin around to face him, reaching up to cup his face in my hands, and then press my lips to his as a tear slips free. “I love it.”
“Yeah?”
I nod, my forehead against his, letting the acceptance I’m feeling wash over me. “I do. Silas…this is…”
His lips find mine again as we hold each other in this room, the entire reality of this moment cocooning us as silence stretches on around us.
I can feel Silas reluctantly release me as my body aches from disconnecting from him, and then he guides me over to the rocking chair situated in the corner next to a shelf that already has a few books on it. “Try it out.”
“Did you make all of the furniture?”
He nods and then shoves his hands in the pockets of his jeans as he watches me sit and then start rocking. “I did. I didn’t know if I was going to finish in time, but thankfully I was able to pull it off.”
&nbs
p; “That’s why you’ve been in the shop so much lately, especially this week.”
“Yeah. How’s it feel?” He gestures to the chair with his hand.
My feet push against the ground, rocking me back and forth, melting into the light blue cushions he bought to place over the hardwood stained the perfect deep brown. “Perfect. This is…perfect, Silas. And the crib…” I stand from the chair as Silas rushes over to help me. He holds my hand and leads me to the edge of the crib where I glide my hand along the smooth wood. “You seriously made this?”
“Not too shabby, huh?” He nudges me playfully.
“This could go for some serious money on Antique Roadshow.”
He throws his head back in laughter. “Well, it does have the De Luca name etched into it. And since I run a billion dollar company now, I imagine it might be worth something someday.”
Oh, it’s worth something alright—my heart. The man has officially stolen it with the capabilities of his hands and the tenderness of his soul.
“Well, this piece will never be sold.” I don’t think I could ever part with it. Or him.
“I agree.”
“Oh! Hold on. I know what we still need in here.” I leave the room and rush out to the car as quickly as possible, returning to find Silas staring up at the picture of us. His face turns to take me in as I walk back in the room, carrying the blanket that his grandmother made for our son.
“Is that Nonna’s blanket?”
“Yes. I cried when I opened it today.”
“She made one for all of us.”
“She told me.”
He reaches out to grab it, tracing his finger of his last name etched into the yarn. “I never thought I’d pass on my name, Chloe.”
“I never thought I’d have a kid, Silas.”
Our eyes find each other at the same moment, intense silence resting between us, and then he drops the blanket and rushes over to me, smashing his lips to mine in a kiss that steals the functionality from my brain.
We slant our mouths over one another and kiss so hard that I don’t know where he ends and I begin, but all I know in this moment is that I want him—no, I need him.
Without any hesitation, Silas breaks the kiss and reaches down to the bottom of my dress, lifting the fabric all the way up and off of my body. His hand finds the clasp on my bra, quickly freeing my breasts from the fabric before he latches on and sucks my nipple into his mouth.
I moan, gripping his head in my hands, pulling on the short strands of his hair as his other hand slides under the fabric of my underwear, parting my folds and sliding inside of me in one slick move.
“Make love to me, Silas,” I grate out against the rasp of my voice.
“Lie down on the floor.” He stops everything he’s doing to me so I can get on the floor, helping me down of course before he begins to strip in front of me—first the tool belt, then his shirt, followed by his jeans and underwear, leaving me looking up to him in appreciation of the incredible male specimen that he is.
But Silas is more than a killer body. Sure, his dick should be a proto-type for dildos, but it’s his heart that has me lovestruck.
I’m so in love with this man.
And my heart can’t stop beating uncontrollably with that realization.
Silas crawls down onto the floor, moving in between my legs, pulling down my underwear, and then he runs his fingers through me again, testing my arousal.
“Please, Silas.”
“Shift on to your side, baby.” He helps me move into position and slides up behind me, but guides my face to his over my shoulder. “I’ve got you, Chloe. I’ll always have you,” he mutters against my lips before sliding deep inside of me, the two of us fitting like the pieces of a puzzle—our edges lining up so perfectly that together we make a complete picture.
The man completes me.
But then the mood shifts, the hunger for one another shifts, and suddenly I’m staring back into the eyes of the man that I want forever.
Shayla was right. He is my forever. He is the one person who has changed my life completely—not just because we’re having a child, but because he’s changed the course of my future and what I want in it.
“Chloe…” he breathes, nipping his lips gently against mine.
“Silas…”
“You’re so perfect, so fucking perfect.”
I close my eyes, fighting off the tears I can feel building with his words.
And I want to tell him how he makes me feel, how I don’t think I can live a life, raise a child with him without being with him.
But his lips cut me off before I can.
Our tongues swirl, our bodies move in sync, his arms holding me to his chest, leaving room for my growing stomach in this position, but still keeping us as close as possible.
And then it hits me—the white heat, the scorching release that has been building with every smooth pass of his cock inside of me.
“Fuck,” he growls.
“Silas,” I moan, clutching at his forearms as our lips meet once more and we kiss and moan through our simultaneous orgasms.
Once the aftershocks have subsided, Silas rolls to the side, lying on the floor beside me, clutching me to his chest as I rest my head on his pecs, our breathing the only sound in the room besides the whirring of the ceiling fan.
“Did we just have sex in our baby’s room?” I ask quietly as I run my fingernails through his chest hair.
He chuckles. “Yes. But he never has to know.”
“True.” I continue to explore his body, touch every inch of this man that I want, but am so scared to voice that I need out loud.
“Chloe?”
“Yeah?”
Silas clears his throat and then turns on his side so we’re facing each other. “I’ve been thinking…” he starts, but then the sound of his phone cuts him off.
He groans, rolling over to locate his phone in the pocket of his jeans, growling when he sees Erica’s name on the screen. “I’m sorry. I need to answer this. If Erica is calling at this hour, there’s no telling what it could be about.”
“Oh, yeah. Sure.”
He plants one more kiss on my lips, then swipes across the screen as he stands from the ground. “What’s going on, Erica?” His brow pinches together before he’s turning around and listening to what she’s saying. “Seriously?” With his pants and shirt in his hand, he exits the nursery, leaving me naked on the ground, all alone.
I wonder what he was going to say. I wonder if the words he was about to speak were along the same lines as the words that I’m thinking, the words that I’ve finally accepted now and know I want to say out loud so the universe can hear them and allow all of my new dreams to come true.
With my body sated but my mind spinning, I stare back up at the photo of us, my smile building as I finally accept that this is what I want—a family with this man.
Chapter 15
Silas
I’m exhausted and stressed. This week has been crazy. Erica’s phone call Saturday night sent my world into a tailspin.
The head chef at my Goleta location, the one I just opened up a few months ago, got into a horrible car accident which unfortunately cost him his life. The aftermath felt like being caught in a tornado—the most glaring issue was making sure the restaurant would continue to run smoothly, training the sous chef to take over and re-organizing the kitchen—a job that usually the CEO of the company wouldn’t take part in. But I’m a lot more hands-on than most bosses, and I felt I needed to be there personally for my staff.
I took time to visit his wife and family, offering my condolences and to pay for all of the funeral costs. It’s the least I could do, especially since I know how expensive burying your loved ones can be, and anyone who works for one of my restaurants is automatically an extension of the De Luca family.
And that brought on the grief, the glaring reminder that life can change in an instant, the ache in my chest that ebbs in strength like the way the waves move
in and out from the ocean to the sand.
Losing someone is painful, especially when it’s someone you see every day, a person you share your life with.
That’s what it felt like losing my parents, and I’m sure it can only be compared to losing your spouse, your other half, your best friend.
And not that Chloe and I are married, but now that she’s a part of my world, that fear of losing her too is growing horns and rushing toward me like an angry bull right out of the gate, given what happened this week.
“How are you doing?” Valentina asks, pulling me from my thoughts as I stare off into space. It’s Sunday night and our family dinner is in full swing.
We’re three weeks away from Chloe’s due date, only two for Valentina, and Nonna felt it was important for all of us to come together after the events of this week. I may be the one in charge of our family’s company, but we all feel protective and connected to the business that my grandfather and dad worked tirelessly to build.
“I’m…I just feel like my chest is really heavy right now,” I reply as concern builds in her eyes.
“I can tell.”
“I feel guilty, you know…”
“You had no control over what happened, Silas. It was an accident. Just like what happened to mom and dad.”
“I know. But still…I hate for anyone to have to go through that same pain. He has three kids, Val. And a wife. He’s leaving behind a family.”
She bites her lip as sadness rests on her face. “I know. It’s horrible. But you’re doing all that you can.”
“I just feel helpless, and you know I fucking hate that.” I stand and run my hand through my hair, glancing back over my shoulder at Chloe and Mia sitting on the couch, looking at something on her phone.
If something happened to her, I’d fucking lose my mind. Even being away from her this week as much as I was killed me. I left earlier than normal, and came home later too. Chloe was in my bed each time, but was already sleeping by the time I came in. Having her there to hold helped ease the pain a bit, but it also reminded me of the opportunity I missed out on.
