"I don't remember it. I really don't," I press my own hand to his cheek. "Maybe it's better this way, but I still need to find out. I... This can't go on, Vlad. I know the world is a fucked up place, but we're talking about children. Defenseless children with no one to look after them," my breath catches in my throat, because this feels a little too close to home.
I was one of those children, after all.
"They can't get away with it," I continue, almost suffocating from this anguish, a deep chasm opening in my heart as I realize how lucky I'd been to make it out alive.
When others weren't.
"They won't," he's quick to say. "They won't. One word from you, hell girl, and I pull the trigger. That's it. No questions asked," he strokes my hair gently, the emotion in his features almost mirroring my own.
Because we are one.
"I'm your killing machine. So use me. Kill everyone you want. You say the word, and their heads drop. It's that easy," he continues, and I can see this is the only way he knows how to comfort me.
"We'll do it. Together," I say, more resolute than ever.
By the time we finish filtering through everything, it's already night. We put everything back, and then we make our way towards the living quarters.
"How are we going to make her talk?" I ask right before we go inside the building.
"Leave that to me, Sisi. I'll make sure she tells us everything before I kill her in the most painful way for everything she's done to you."
"No," I stop, my hand on his arm. "Let me," I raise my eyes to his. "I want to be the one to do this. I..."
He places his finger on my lips, not letting me continue.
"I know. I know," he presses his lips in a tight line. "I'll help you with whatever you need. You know I always have your back," he says, his sweet words warming me on the inside.
"I know the whole purpose of this was to find Miles," I tell him before I lose my courage. "But I also feel like I'm finally closing a painful chapter in my life. Past secrets are being revealed, and the people who made my life a living hell are going to be punished."
"I'm glad," he lifts my hand to his mouth. "As long as you're happy, I'm happy," he says and I can't help myself as I quickly jump up to lay a kiss on his cheek.
"Let's do this!"
Except Mother Superior isn't in her apartments. We search everywhere for her, but she's not inside.
"Let me check the cameras quickly," Vlad pulls out his phone, accessing the feed and looking for any sign of her.
"There," he finds her in one frame, leaving her quarters at midnight. Accessing some of the other cameras, we manage to pinpoint her location to somewhere around the church.
Vlad also does one of his tricks and manages to divert all security footage, placing it in a loop so there will be no trace of us.
"She must be inside the church," I note when we get in front of it.
"A bit too late to pray her sins away, wouldn't you say?" Vlad mutters drily, aggression already rolling off him.
He's been like this since we found my medical file. While he hadn't outright said it, I can tell it pains him even more than me, since I don't remember anything. But he has intimate knowledge of what it feels like to be cut and probed, so it must not have been easy to hear that I'd been in a similar situation.
From the beginning I've been able to note the change in the atmosphere around him whenever his moods oscillate, and the tension had become increasingly unbearable as I'd watch him clench and unclench his fists when he thought I was distracted.
In his own way, he doesn't want to bring it up to me in fear that it might trigger a memory, and so I know he's holding back a lot. But after we're done with Mother Superior, I aim to have a conversation with him.
Stopping in front of the church, I take a deep breath, ready to face all my past demons. Nodding to Vlad, I push open the door.
He's behind me, and I feel the way his eyes are studying every inch of our surroundings, so I know that nothing can harm me. Having him by my side truly makes me feel invincible, and so I give him one last smile before I school my features.
The reckoning has arrived.
As we walk down the aisle, I see the huddled form of Mother Superior. She's on her knees, her head bent low in front of the altar, a long rosary hanging from her hands. Her head whips back the moment she hears the noise behind her, her eyes having a hard time to discern who it is that's disturbing her private time.
"Don't you know it's curfew time?' She asks, her voice grating on my nerves as I suddenly remember every insult and every mockery uttered by that very voice.
I don't answer, stepping further into the church.
My own knight in shining armor is trailing behind, blending in the shadows as he just watches, letting me do what I need to do. And his unconditional trust is the only thing that makes me capable to follow through.
The only light inside the church is coming from the altar, where a dozen candles are lit in a small circle, the flicker of light confined to a small area.
And so it's not until I'm mere steps away from her that Mother Superior realizes who I am, her eyes widening, her mouth hanging open in shock.
"Assisi," she sputters, flustered. "What... what are you doing here?"
"Mother Superior," I say somberly, and a wicked thought to play with her crosses my mind, "I've come to give you your dues," I continue, very slowly putting one foot in front of the other.
"How come you're here? You can't be here?" She gets to her feet, looking at me with confusion.
"Isn't that where we all go where we are aimless? To the place we know best? Home?" The word home burns on my lips, and knowing this had been indeed my home for so long does little to quench the need destruction brewing inside of me.
"What... I don't know what you're talking about," she immediately counters, although I note a slight twitch in her eye as she looks around for any exit.
"Did you know what they did to me?" I ask, fighting back a smile as she narrows her eyes at me. In spite of her perceived bravado, I can see the slight trembling of her hands, the beads of the rosary moving in a back and forth motion and clinking against each other. "How they took from my body until there was nothing left? And you allowed it," I intone, putting all the strength in my voice and enjoying the way the sound echoes in the church. I lift my finger up and point at her, and finally I receive the reaction I've been waiting from her.
Her features blank, her mask dropping as she realizes what I mean.
"What..." she whispers, slowly backing away from me. "You're not real," she shakes her head.
Well, well, but I think my ghostly talk seems to be working. And so I push, wanting to see the fear etched on her face.
"It's your fault," I say as I take one more step towards her.
She keeps on shaking her head, closing her eyes and doing the sign of the cross over her body, her lips muttering a quiet prayer.
"Are you scared now? Scared to face your sins?"
My tone is consistent throughout, and I make a conscious effort to not give myself away by bursting out in a scream, demanding to know exactly what she did to me.
And it seems to work as she continues to back away until she trips on the small steps of the altar, falling down on her ass.
Her eyes are wildly looking around for an exit, her hand thrusting that rosary into my face as if it might protect her from me.
Dropping on one knee in front of her, I snatch it out of her hands, flinging it to the ground.
"You," she spews, her brows tightening together, her hand reaching out to touch my arm, "you're not dead," she continues, her voice accusatory.
And therein lies the issue. Why would she think I'm dead if she's not knee deep into this whole thing?
"And how would you know if I died?" I tilt my head to the side, studying her reactions.
"You..." she stammers, and her hands reach out for me once more, probably trying to apply some more of the punishments she'd inflicted on me when
I was younger.
There's just one problem.
I'm not a child anymore.
I catch her hands midair, twisting her around until my arm's around her neck, restricting her airflow.
"I think we have some unresolved issues, Mother Superior," I whisper in her ear. "And I'd like you to cooperate," I continue, grabbing the rosary from the floor and wrapping it around her throat, the beads digging into her flesh.
One glance back, and I motion Vlad to come forward.
He casually saunters up to the altar, immediately immobilizing Mother Superior's limbs to the table.
"And that demon," she spits the word out when she gets a clear view of Vlad. "Of course! I could expect nothing else of you, slumming it with the devil. I told you, didn't I?" she gives a maniacal laugh, "that you'd end up steeped in sin." She sneers at me and before I can help myself, my fist flies down and into her face, knocking her to the side.
Her eyes wide, she looks at me as if she can't believe I just dared to do that.
"Ah, but I'd choose my loyal devil over your facetious god any time of the day," I lean forward. "You who condemn sins, but privately bathe in them. You," my nostrils flare as my anger mounts, "have the audacity to tell me I'm steeped in sin? As if every inch of your monstrous flesh," I grab her jaw in my hands, tightly holding her so she cannot avert her eyes, "isn't rotting away as we speak."
"Why are you here, Assisi?" She asks, her gaze definitely meeting mine, "still having hang-ups about being abandoned?" she laughs, thinking her words will hurt me.
Ah, but she'll have a different revelation tonight.
Stepping away from her, I simply unfasten my habit, letting it fall to the ground to reveal the artillery underneath.
I'm wearing a black latex suit, completely molded to the body to allow for freedom of movement. On every usable inch, there is a knife or gun strapped to my body.
Mother Superior's eyes widen in horror as she takes in my appearance, while Vlad simply whistles in admiration.
"Go get it, hell girl," he winks at me, and I can't help the blush that creeps up my cheeks.
I'd already had a hard time fending off his advances when we'd been getting ready, but now I'm getting positively warmer under his keen gaze, the thought of revenge and sex—in that order—making my breath pick up in excitement.
"We know about the trafficking ring," I start, taking a seat in front of her and unsheathing one blade, "now, what I don't understand is why you'd involve yourself in this."
She huffs out a breath, turning her head so she's not looking at me. Maneuvering the blade in my hand, I bring it closer to her cheek, letting the tip slowly mold to her flesh, but still not digging in.
"What do you say, will you answer, or will I cut?"
She whips her gaze around at me and I see a hint of fear in her eyes, even as she pretends to be defiant.
"So be it," I shrug, letting the blade slide down until it reaches the collar of her habit. The knife is so sharp it doesn't take much pressure for it to cut into the material, and I follow a straight line until the entire bodice is wide open. She's wearing a shift underneath, so I cut through that too, baring her naked flesh.
Her entire skin is covered in goosebumps from the cold, and a smile plays at my lips as I continue to trail the blade over the surface, misleading her about the time I'll actually cut into her.
"Hmm, what about Miles? How do you know him?" I ask another question, and a slight tremor in her upper lip alerts me that I might have hit a sensitive spot.
Vlad is watching me like a hawk, his gaze intent on everything I'm doing, but he doesn't interfere. If anything, every time I look his way he gives me a nod of approval that spurs me further.
And so when I see the corner of his mouth curl up, I know he's noted her reaction too.
"That demon over there," I motion toward Vlad, "taught me quite a few things," I say just as I push the blade into the upper part of her breast, "all of which include some degree of pain."
She starts moaning low in her throat, the pain getting to her as I use the tip of the blade to dig a tiny hole right over the swell of her left breast.
The moans turn to screams as I proceed to remove a sizable chunk of flesh, a hollow remaining in her breast. There's minimal bleeding, the cut sharp and efficient.
"Mhm, hell girl, now those surgical skills," he brings his fingers to his lips in a kissing sound, approving of my method.
"Let's try again," I say, giving her a small respite from the pain since I do have some grand plans for her. All of which will include some of the things I'd suffered through over the years. "Tell me about Miles," I repeat.
She directs her malicious gaze towards me, and for a moment I doubt she'll cooperate. But as her body starts slowly shaking—from fear or pain—I know I have her.
"He coordinates the transplants," she mumbles, almost choking on her words. "He provides the facilities and the medical personnel," she continues and I look up to meet Vlad's gaze.
The words are unspoken. It's exactly as we'd theorized.
"And who is in charge of the financial side?" I ask, noting Vlad's small nod of approval at my question.
"I don't know..." she shakes her head. "I swear. I've only been dealing with a few people who are his intermediaries. They are the ones who oversee the logistics, while Miles deals with the actual transplants."
"Who are the intermediaries, then?"
Her eyes skitter around the room before she utters two names.
"Guerra and Lastra," she whispers, and my own eyes widen.
I quickly look up to see Vlad sport the same expression of disbelief, especially after Marcello had assured us that Guerra's financials were in order.
"Maybe Benedicto isn't as transparent as he wants to appear," Vlad comments from the corner.
"Benedicto?" Mother Superior frowns, "no, no. Not Benedicto. Franco Guerra and Nicolo Lastra. Those were the ones who coordinated everything that happened here," she says.
"Now, that," Vlad comes around me, placing his hand on my shoulder, "I believe. But both are dead now, so who are you in contact with?" He raises an eyebrow.
Mother Superior blinks rapidly, surprised she'd been caught in that one loophole.
Her entire body becomes rigid, her lips pursed as she refuses to keep talking.
"Interesting," Vlad notes, silently urging me to continue.
Standing up, I move around the altar, noting the various items placed on the table. A devious smile appears on my face as I have the exact method to make her talk.
Taking an old oil lamp from the table, I disassemble it, seeing there is some oil left inside. Then, picking up a lit candle, I once again plop myself in front of Mother Superior.
The hole in her chest is angry looking, but it's not deep enough to reach the bone.
That will be solved soon.
"Fuck, hell girl, you sure know how to give me a hard on," he groans from the side, eyeing the items in my hands and anticipating what I have in mind.
Mother Superior just stares at me in horror as she's trying to understand, but only when I start pouring the oil in the wound does she realize what I have planned for her.
"No," she says, her voice barely above a whisper, "I'll tell you," she continues, thrashing against her bonds.
It's a little too late as the moment the oil fills the hole in her chest to the brim, I bring the flame of the candle over it, watching the entire thing ignite.
Screams of pain inundate the church as the fire eats at her flesh. I don't even want to imagine the agony she must be going through as heat spreads through her body, the flame burning through her pain receptors and making her break into a sweat, her breath coming out in short spurts.
"Michele," she heaves, "Michele Guerra," she finally says, and I blow into the fire, putting it out momentarily.
She slumps down, her breathing erratic as she's trying to control herself. Her entire body is convulsing, entirely covered in sweat, her eyes almost rolling to th
e back of her head.
"Michele is my contact," she breathes out.
"Really," I drawl, not entirely surprised that someone as slimy as Michele would be involved in this.
"Good. See, we can talk civilly," I give her a smile. "And now for the winning question. Where is the transplant center?"
She tries to back further into the table even though her bonds don't allow her much movement. She shakes her head as she looks between Vlad and I, almost pondering if more pain is worth keeping the secret.
"Ellis Island," she eventually replies, her voice barely above a whisper.
I turn to Vlad to see the wheels turn in his head.
"There's an abandoned hospital there, but it's federal ground," he frowns, closing his eyes and exhaling, "this is so much bigger than we realized, hell girl."
"We'll tackle it. One person at a time. At least now we know about Michele too," I add with a sneer.
I'd met the man only once, but it had been enough to firmly put him on my shit list. He's a bigoted cretin who seemed to enjoy making those weaker than him suffer.
"No, you can't..." Mother Superior starts moving, wincing in pain as the rope cuts into her wrists. "You can't harm him," she continues and I frown.
"Why is that?" Vlad stoops low in front of her, snapping his fingers at her when she blanks out.
"He's your brother," she raises her gaze at me, and for the first time I see pure fear there. "you can't kill your own brother," she continues, her voice broken.
"What? That's impossible." I turn to Vlad and he has the same expression of disbelief.
"It's not," her voice trembles as she continues. "Nicolo... he," she audibly gulps down. "When he was younger, Michele had leukemia. Nicolo came to me with an idea, saying that he could get well if we found a match," the moment she utters those words I already know where she's going.
My entire body stiffens but I can only listen to her as she recounts everything.
"He knew Michele was his son," she gives a dry laugh, "just like Benedicto knew he wasn't his. From the beginning Nicolo had been trying to quietly find a match, and he'd gone through all their relatives with no success. Until he came to me and told me there might be another possibility," she stops, raising her gaze to mine, "you."
Morally Ambiguous: A Dark Mafia Romance (Morally Questionable Book 4) Page 66
