He gripped the handles of her wheelchair and pushed her around the side of the bleachers where they wouldn’t be seen by those on the track. He stopped and turned her to face him.
“This isn’t a very good abduction,” she smirked. “You aren’t supposed to stop.”
“Cara…” He choked out her name as fear seized him. He couldn’t do it. He couldn’t show her. His mind drifted back to the app she’d shown him full of people facing the same kind of fear. They all worried about showing anyone who they really were.
“Just tell me, Cam.”
The story spilled out of him, and he wouldn’t have been able to stop the words if he tried. “I woke up days after the accident, and it was gone.”
“What, Cam? What was gone?”
He closed his eyes. “Half of my leg.”
A tiny gasp escaped her lips. She reached for him, but he stepped back.
“Can I…” She paused. “Can I see it?”
He’d expected the question, but he hadn’t been prepared for it. The air rushed from his lungs. Breathe, he told himself. Keep breathing.
His lungs finally expanded again, and he nodded. This was his first step to telling everyone else. Peyton. Nari. Even Avery and Julian.
They would all see what that night took from him.
He bent and pulled up the pant leg covering his artificial leg. Cara’s eyes slid over the metal surface, taking in every inch.
“You’re just like me,” she finally said, shooting him a grin. “A robot.”
He let the leg of his pants fall just as a loud gasp sounded behind him. He felt her presence before he turned. As the dread built in his gut, pain rocketed up his leg. He grit his teeth, trying to ignore it as he met Peyton’s wide eyes.
The look he saw there was one he’d never forget.
11
Peyton
~ Peyton,
The accident… It broke me.
It took something from me,
but I’m not going to bring you into my pain.
Cam ~
Peyton turned the volume up on her “get your ass moving” playlist. Jogging at a pace that barely qualified as running, she pushed herself for one more lap around the track.
“Past Peyton is an idiot.” She panted, trying to resist the urge to rip her Spanx off right there in the middle of the field. Who wears Spanx under workout clothes?
It sounded like a good idea at the time. Normally, before her workouts, Peyton threw on whatever wasn’t dirty and headed out the door with a water bottle and a protein bar, but not today. Past Peyton had decided she needed to look her best.
Current Peyton rolled her eyes at herself. She’d been determined to come here and run into Cameron and let things fall into place. And she’d wanted to look as much like the Peyton Cameron remembered. With a brand-new pair of slimming black leggings over her Spanx, she’d donned a cute purple tank top with a soft gray off-the-shoulder sweater over it. She even took the time to braid her hair and put on eyeshadow and mascara—to work out. Peyton was not one of those girls who could work up a sweat and still look gorgeous.
She wasn’t at the size she wanted to be for this, but it was time. She had to talk to Cameron and try to salvage their friendship. She couldn’t—wouldn’t—expect more than that. That was a recipe for a broken heart.
Fat girls don’t get the hot jock.
If anyone said that on her app, she would tell them they were wrong. Things looked a lot different on this side of the situation though. She had to remember that harsh reality when responding to No BS comments.
But after all her careful preparation, he wasn’t even there when she’d arrived. Cameron Tucker had never met a Saturday morning that didn’t start with a few hours at the track. He should have been there.
What was I thinking? Rather than going home, she’d gone for a run, regretting her wardrobe choices almost instantly. As she made the last turn on her final lap, mascara running down her face and her hair flying free of her braid, she spotted him on the bleachers with sweet little Cara. With a pang, she remembered how he called her Care Bear, how adorable they were together. Cameron always made the little girl feel special, like he couldn’t even see her wheelchair.
Peyton slowed to a walk, watching the way he was with the eleven-year-old.
“There it is,” she whispered. The smile she missed so much. She hadn’t seen it in ages. Cameron wasn’t always liberal with his smiles, but Cara could usually pull them out of him.
She couldn’t go over there now. Not looking like a hot mess. She took a step toward her car, her shoulders slumping in defeat.
“Why do I care so much about the way I look?” She’d never worried about those things before. Before the kiss under the mistletoe.
It’s been eighteen months. We’re not the same people we were that night. But Peyton was ready to figure out who they were now. This wasn’t about romance or trying to get back what they’d almost had. This was about a friendship she’d always counted on. A friendship that had nothing to do with appearances.
Peyton watched as Cam wheeled Cara around to the side of the bleachers. She wasn’t letting him leave again. It was now or never. If she wanted her best friend back, she had to make the first move. She knew Cameron Tucker better than he knew himself, and he would always be too damn slow to deal with his emotions. And that was okay. She was ready to do this for them.
Fussing with the hair escaping her braid, she took a deep breath. Cameron stood, talking with Cara, his face now far too serious for a chat with a kid. Where had the smile gone?
Just as she was about to announce her presence, Cam leaned over and lifted his pant leg.
She saw it—the metal where his leg should be. His beautiful, powerful leg. But it wasn’t there. Nothing her eyes saw made sense to her mind. The very thing that defined Cameron Tucker’s entire existence was gone, and she was the last to figure it out.
Peyton always thought she was the one who’d lost everything that night. That she was the one needing the comfort only her best friend could give and that he’d selfishly abandoned her to go train for the Olympics in her hour of need.
She shook her head with a sob. Peyton was the selfish one. If she’d truly been his friend, she would have known that nothing short of this would keep Cam away for eighteen months. In her own grief, she’d never stopped to think of his. She knew without a doubt that losing his leg had destroyed him. And it was all her fault.
She was the one who made the boys leave that night.
How he must hate me…
Peyton tore her gaze from his prosthetic, her eyes wide with shock. Meeting his gaze and seeing so much pain reflected in their depths, like the coward she’d accused him of being, she turned and ran.
Peyton absently drizzled melted butter and warm maple syrup over her stack of gluten-free wheat berry pancakes. Sitting alone at the kitchen counter, her emotions were on autopilot. For once, she ate without thinking about calories. She ate for the comfort it gave her because, more than anything, Peyton needed something to find comfort in. Her mother was still asleep from another late night at The Main and her stepfather was working the insane Saturday morning shift. Who knew where Julian was. Not that they were talking much these days, anyway.
Cameron lost his leg. She couldn’t process it. She could not reconcile the Cameron she’d always known with the Cam she saw today.
Why didn’t he tell me? How did they drift so far from each other that something this huge and life changing had happened to her best friend in the entire world and he didn’t feel like he could tell her? She’d always thought he hadn’t wanted to see her when he was in the hospital because he’d blamed her for the accident. She blamed herself for the accident even more now. Cameron wasn’t going with Cooper and Avery that night, not until she’d asked him to get them out of there.
“What’s going on down there?” Cameron asked. The shouts below the treehouse burst the warm happy bubble they were in.
“It’s
Julian again.” Peyton sighed, watching her brothers fighting like mortal enemies in the middle of what was supposed to be a fun Christmas Eve party. “How can two people who look so much alike hate each other so much?”
“Let’s go.” Cam offered his hand. “Avery’s already breaking it up. They just need to cool off.”
Except by the time they climbed down from the old treehouse, Julian and Cooper were still going at it, and Avery wasn’t making much headway with either of them, drunk as he was.
“Julian, just get lost already,” Avery slurred. “You weren’t even invited.”
But Julian didn’t listen. He broke free from those trying to hold him back and took another shot at his brother. Peyton grimaced at the sound of Julian’s fist cracking against Cooper’s jaw.
“There’s blood!” She cried. “You idiots! Stop this bullshit right now.” She lunged between her brothers, but Cooper shoved her out of the way, and Avery stumbled to make a grab for Julian again. “Get out of here! All of you.” She shoved Avery toward the driveway.
Cameron’s arms wrapped around her as he pulled her away from the fight. “Be careful,” he said.
“Get them out of here, Cam? Please? Before Coop kills Julian this time.”
Cameron nodded, pressing his car keys into her hands. “I’ll drive them home in Coop’s car. You get Julian. He’ll calm down once we leave.”
Peyton nodded, grateful for his help.
“Be safe, Pey.” He gave her a brilliant smile before he lunged into the fight, grabbing Cooper around the middle. “Come on, Avery. We’re leaving.”
“What?” Avery gave him a confused look.
“More beer, dude. We’re going to get more beer.”
“Right, shotgun,” Avery called, following behind them.
“Get in the back, Avery.” Cam leaned a drunken Cooper against the passenger door, shoving Avery toward the back.
“Peyton, give me the keys!” Julian demanded, prying them from her fingers. Peyton looked up to meet Cameron’s worried frown just as Julian took off running to the street for Cameron’s car.
Before Cam had time to react, Cooper lunged into the driver’s side and slid behind the wheel. Cameron barely had enough time to jump in the front seat before Coop took off down the driveway into the icy night with Julian hot on his trail.
That was the last time Peyton saw Cameron whole. A few hours later, Addison’s parents came home to give Peyton the bad news about the accident. They didn’t know anything, but they took her to the hospital to meet her parents. That was where she found out Cooper was dead and Cameron was missing. Julian had disappeared in Cam’s car. There was nothing for them to do but go home in the wee hours of the morning. But Peyton couldn’t sleep, not knowing Cameron was out there somewhere, hurt, possibly dead.
They brought him to the hospital early the next morning when rescuers found him along the bank of the river a mile downstream from Defiance Falls. By then, Peyton had pieced together what happened. Cooper was driving too fast and slid on the bridge and into the river. Cameron had fought to get everyone out, but he couldn’t get Cooper out of his seat belt. Somehow, he’d gone over the falls with Cooper, but because he wasn’t in the car, the current took him downriver. After a night out in the elements, he was in bad shape when they brought him in.
Mr. Tucker had refused to let Peyton see Cameron once he was stable. He’d claimed Cameron didn’t want to see her. She’d haunted the hospital waiting rooms for days, waiting for Cameron to ask for her. He never did. In the end, she’d left his Christmas present with Cam’s father and went home to prepare for her brother’s funeral.
Peyton shoved her half-eaten pancakes aside and poured herself a fresh cup of coffee, adding a splash of fat-free cream. Images of that night ran on a loop through her mind. There was still so much she didn’t understand, but she should have known something wasn’t right. She should have fought harder to see Cam in the hospital. She couldn’t help but think if she’d forced the issue and found out about the extent of his injuries then the last year and a half might have played out much differently for both of them.
The back door creaked open letting in a cool blast of air into the kitchen.
“You’re up early,” Julian said, closing the door behind him.
“It’s almost ten, you’re just getting home?” she replied. “What have you been up to all night?”
“None of your business.” He took a bite of her pancakes and made a face, turning to rummage through the fridge for something more palatable and less gluten free.
“Don’t be like that, Julian.” Peyton snapped.
“Like what?” He stood to his full height, facing her with a sneer.
“Like Cooper.” She regretted the words as soon as she said them. Her brother’s face fell.
“When did you get to be so cruel?” He didn’t wait for her to answer. The slamming of his bedroom door was the only reply she was getting this morning.
For a moment, she wanted to cry. Everything was just so wrong. The brother she loved was finally home, and they couldn’t even figure out how to have a conversation. And Cameron… She couldn’t even imagine what he’d been through. From the second she saw his artificial leg, it gutted her. She knew if she let the tears come, she might never stop.
Peyton shoved her chair back with a surge of anger. She needed to rage at something. She’d lost so much time with Cam. It wasn’t fair.
Without thinking about it, she grabbed her keys and drove the short distance to Cam’s house.
Cam’s mother worked most weekends, but Peyton was hoping she’d catch her before she left for whatever workout video or infomercial she was supposed to be filming today.
As she rang the doorbell, Peyton’s anger exploded. “I know you’re home, Mrs. Tucker!” She shouted, slamming her palm against the polished wooden door. “Open this door, damn it!” Peyton might have been the reason Cam was in the car that night, but it was his lousy parents who sent him away to recover alone.
Who does that?
“Peyton, what on earth?” Mrs. Tucker opened the door, wrapping a dressing gown around her fancy workout clothes. “We’ll be filming today, it’s not a good time, and Cameron isn’t home. Why don’t you come back later?”
“You threw him away?” Peyton shoved past her best friend’s mother into the glamorous foyer of their perfect home. But it wasn’t a perfect home, far from it. Behind all the glitz and shiny expensive things, it was just a showpiece. A vapid, empty shell Cameron grew up in.
“How could you do it?” she demanded.
“Do what? What are you talking about?” Mrs. Tucker folded her arms across her chest.
“Do you even know your son? Do you have any idea what the last year and a half has done to him?”
“How dare you come into my—”
But Peyton wouldn’t let her finish. “If you knew him at all, you would know how much losing his leg would destroy him! And you sent him away? Alone?”
“He wasn’t alone, dear. He had an army of physical therapists to whip him back into shape. He’s been training at a world-class rehab clinic. There was absolutely nothing Cameron lacked in his recovery.”
“What is it with you people?” Peyton ran her hands through her hair, the tears finally coming. “It’s always about things with you. You give him shiny playthings, and you think that’s enough. He didn’t need therapists and strangers taking care of him. He needed family. He needed me!”
“We visited.” His mother fussed with the belt at her waist, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation. “We didn’t think it prudent to tell everyone our business.”
“You’re trying to hide it like it’s some dirty secret.” Peyton shook her head in disgust. “My family has always been Cameron’s family. My mother loves him like a son. He’s spent more time with us than in his own home. Every birthday, every celebration, every…Christmas, he spent it with us, and you took him away from that? How could you be so cold?”
“Cam
eron needed tough love, Peyton. You don’t understand. He was in such a bad place after the accident. We didn’t know what to do with him.”
“So, you stuck him in a clinic? To let someone else put him back together? That should have been my job. You have no idea who your son is and what he needed then or now.”
“He’s recovering, Peyton. He’s doing really well now. We’re even talking about the Paralympics.”
Peyton laughed through her tears. “You people really know how to crush his spirit. You took something he loved more than anything in this world, and you made him hate it. Nothing he does is ever good enough. And now he probably thinks he’s broken. He’ll never be your ticket to the Olympics, and you’re still shoving him into something he doesn’t want.”
“Cam loves competing—”
“You need to back off, Mrs. Tucker!” Peyton’s voice rose as she took a step toward the startled woman. “Give him time to learn to love it again. And if Cameron never runs again, never competes, you will do whatever it takes to show him you love him, anyway.”
“He knows we love him.”
“No, Mrs. Tucker,” Peyton scoffed. “He doesn’t. And leaving him with strangers during the worst time of his life was a real great way to show him exactly how little you care.”
Tears welled in the woman’s eyes, and Peyton felt a stab of guilt. But this woman and her husband had done enough to hurt their son.
“From now on, I will be there for Cameron. I will help him discover who he is without running. And if he ever learns to love running again, you will let him find his own way back to competing if and when he decides. Are we clear?”
Peyton was surprised when Mrs. Tucker nodded.
As she turned to go, her anger deflated. How was she going to be there for Cameron when they weren’t even talking?
12
Cameron
~ Cam,
The F Word (Redefining Me #1) Page 8
