“Fine.” Avery sighed. “But you really do have nice boobs.” He nudged Peyton playfully, chancing a smile at the joke.
Peyton rolled her eyes, reaching into her bucket to grab her brush and slinging the nasty soapy water at him.
“Ooh, Callahan, that’s not nice. You’re going to pay for that.” Avery took a step back to grab his own bucket. “It was a compliment.”
Murky water slapped him in the face.
“You too, Tucker? I see how it is.” Avery flung water back at Peyton and Cam.
“Oh, that’s so gross!” She squealed. “The toilet water’s probably cleaner.” She flicked her brush at Cameron.
“Hey foul! I’m on your side, Pey.” He splattered her with water, and suddenly, the bathroom filled with laughter and dirty water. They were all soaked by the time their buckets were empty.
Avery gave Cameron a friendly shove, but Cam’s prosthetic foot slipped in the water, and he went down hard on the ground.
“Hey, man, I’m sorry.” Avery’s voice wavered as he stared at Cam’s leg.
“Whoops!” Peyton laughed, not paying attention to the way Cam’s face flushed when he realized his pants leg had shifted to reveal his artificial leg.
She smiled down at him, offering her hand like she would for anyone. He smiled back as he took it. She loved the way his eyes shone when he really smiled. It was so good to see a glimmer of her best friend again.
“Hey, would you look at that?” Peyton pointed at Avery’s nearly transparent white shirt. “Avery’s got nice boobs too.”
Avery smiled, flexing his pecs. “Too bad the one girl I actually like doesn’t give a crap about appearances.”
Peyton looked to him in confusion. His girlfriend cared about appearances more than anyone she knew. Was Meghan not the girl he was talking about? Maybe Avery wasn’t such a lost cause after all. She snapped out of her thoughts, wanting to enjoy the small moment between them.
“She sounds like good people.” Peyton laughed. It felt so good to laugh with her old friends again. After all this time…maybe they were healing.
16
Cameron
~ Cam
No matter what happens,
we’ll always be there for each other.
Peyton ~
Peas were an interesting thing, weren’t they? All green and round. Cam stared down at his plate, pushing the tiny green orbs around, trying not to feel the glances from each member of the Callahan family. To say dinner was awkward would be an understatement.
Eating at the Callahan house used to be a normal occurrence for Cam. It happened more often than he sat down with his own family. But the last time he’d eaten with that family, Cooper sat across from him. There’d been laughter, fun never lacking in that house.
Now, the same face stared at him across the table, but it belonged to Julian. He didn’t look angry, or even scornful, only confused by Cam’s presence.
If he were being honest, Cam was confused too. How had he let this family become strangers?
Cam lifted his gaze to find Mr. Callahan smiling at him as if he couldn’t quite believe his eyes. “Would you like some more potatoes, Cam?”
“No.” Cam set his fork down. “Thank you.”
Mr. Callahan set the bowl back on the table. “Sofia will be so sad she missed you, son. She couldn’t get away from the dinner rush at the diner tonight.”
Cam offered him a tight smile. “Thank you for having me.” He’d already said that twice, but he didn’t know what else to say. Surely, the Callahans thought differently of him now. Had Peyton told them about his leg? Julian would have heard the truth at school. It had already spread through the student body. To Julian’s credit, he hadn’t brought it up. Cooper would have. He’d have given Cam endless ribbing about it, assuming Cam wouldn’t mind. But Cooper’s jokes had always held a bit of criticism in them. He’d mastered the art of masking disdain with humor.
“Dad.” Peyton shook her head. “You’ve already offered him more food almost a dozen times. Cam doesn’t want to waddle out of here.”
“I’m sorry, honey.” Mr. Callahan rubbed his chin. “I just can’t quite believe Cam is sitting here with us. We’ve missed you around here, boy. Losing one son in the accident was hard enough, but losing Julian for a while, and then a third son too…” He swallowed and closed his eyes. “Ignore me, kids.” He opened his eyes, his gaze landing on Cam. “Tonight is a good night. I won’t ruin it with thoughts of the past.”
Peyton’s smile lit the room, and Cam allowed himself a small one as well. He’d known the Callahans thought of him as family, but he’d never considered what his disappearance would do to them. When his own parents kept a cold distance, he’d had Mr. and Mrs. Callahan to turn to.
He cleared his throat. “It’s good to be back.”
Peyton turned her megawatt smile on him.
Julian lowered his eyes to his plate as if it was some work of art he couldn’t look away from. He’d barely said a word the entire meal. For the first time, Cam truly thought about how empty this big house must have been in all the time both he and Julian had been away dealing with their grief.
Peyton and her father looked to each other as if they couldn’t believe their luck. Cam once thought leaving was the hardest thing he could ever go through, but maybe it hurt more to be left behind.
His thoughts were cut short by a banging on the front door. It stopped for a moment before beginning again.
Julian slid out of his seat. “I’ll see who it is.” He left the room, and they heard the door open. Avery’s slurred voice filtered in to them.
“I know he’s here.”
“Avery, have you been drinking?” Julian paused. “Did you drive here?”
Mr. Callahan got up, and Cam and Peyton quickly followed him to the door where Avery swayed on the front step.
“Avery.” Mr. Callahan was calm. He knew Avery almost as well as he knew Cam. “Are you all right, son?”
Julian stuck his head out the door, his eyes sweeping the darkened street. “His car isn’t here.”
“I walked.” Avery crossed his arms. “S’not far.”
Cam’s brow creased. Avery lived a few neighborhoods over, about a mile from Peyton.
Mr. Callahan placed a hand on Avery’s arm. “What can we do for you, son?”
Avery stepped back. “I know Cam is here. I saw his car.” His angry eyes found Cam standing behind Julian. “We need to talk.”
Mr. Callahan stepped in front of Cam. “I don’t think that’s such a good idea in your state. Come, let me drive you home.”
“Not before I know.”
“Know what?” Julian shouldered his dad out of the way. “What could you possibly want with Cam? We all know about your fight. I won’t let you hit him again.”
Julian’s words surprised Cam. It was almost as if he was defending him.
“The truth!” Avery demanded. “I want the truth.”
Cam studied Avery’s swaying frame. His rumpled clothes. His hazy eyes. Everyone deserved the truth even if it meant altering the way you once saw someone you’d idolized.
“I’ll talk to him.” Cam stepped forward.
“Cam.” Worry tinged Peyton’s sigh.
He gripped her hand, squeezing once before dropping it. “We’ll be fine.”
Mr. Callahan gave him an approving nod. “You three can talk on the front porch.”
Three? Cam had planned to get Avery alone to hash everything out. He hadn’t considered that Julian deserved to be there as much as he did.
Mr. Callahan pulled Peyton back into the house as Cam and Julian stepped by Avery, taking up positions on opposite ends of the porch. As the door shut, Avery stuck his hands in his pockets.
“You’re an idiot, Avery.” Julian’s words hung in the air between them. “What, are you just a drunk meathead now? Teasing people in the halls, fighting those you once considered friends, and getting drunk by dinner time?”
Avery dropped to si
t on the steps and buried his face in his hands. “I’m not… This isn’t…”
“What? Spit it out.”
“Until tonight, I hadn’t touched a drop of alcohol since the night…”
He didn’t need to finish that sentence. They all knew the night he was referring to. Others tried to understand. Peyton, Nari, and Addison had been at the party. They too dealt with the pain of what happened. But none of them had been in that car. They didn’t hear rushing water every time they closed their eyes. Their grief wasn’t controlled by nightmares of drowning. They didn’t know what it was like to feel as if their life was about to end.
They hadn’t seen Cooper in the end, been unable to save him.
Cam’s eyes traveled from Julian to Avery. Julian had left town like Cam, but Avery stayed. He fielded the questions and suffered the stares.
He claimed he remembered nothing, but the pain in his eyes as he lifted them showed his lies.
“How much?” Cam asked.
“What?” Avery twisted his body to face Cam.
“How much do you truly remember?”
“Nothing.” It was Julian who spoke. “He’s been claiming to not remember the accident at all.”
“It’s a lie.” Cam crossed the wooden planks until he stood looking down at Avery. “Isn’t it?”
Avery’s shoulders hunched forward. “I thought…if I could claim you were driving, if I could make myself believe it, then there was a reason. There was someone to blame.” He rubbed the back of his neck, refusing to look up at Cam. “Someone who wasn’t Cooper. After a while, I really did start believing it. My memories are hazy, I wasn’t lying about that.”
Cam grit his teeth. “How much?”
Avery’s voice held no emotion. “We were crossing the bridge when we hit ice and went over. I remember that.” He closed his eyes. “We hit the water, and the impact sent a jarring force through us. The last thing I can see is water flooding into the car, and I hear Julian’s voice, screaming from the bridge, before he jumped into the water after us. I see it every time I close my eyes. But that’s it.”
Cam lowered himself to sit beside Avery. “I wish I had been driving. Then I’d have someone to blame as well. Then I wouldn’t have to try so hard to keep myself from hating Cooper.” He sucked in a breath. “You and I got out of the car. I got you to shore but went back to help Julian and Cooper. I didn’t make it back to the car before going over the falls.”
Julian had been silent through most of the exchange. “I was on the hood of the car, trying to get Coop out. But I was thrown off before hitting the falls. Cooper was still in the car.” He rubbed his face. “It’s okay to blame him, you know. I do.”
Avery shook his head. His words no longer slurred as he sobered quickly. “It’s not. One accident can’t change everything we knew about Coop. He was my best friend, the best man I knew.”
No one spoke for a moment before Julian sat beside them. “I wish I knew that version of him. I wish he was the person you thought he was.”
Avery scowled. “What are you talking about? You were his brother. You’re supposed to miss him as much as I do.”
Julian leaned forward with his elbows resting on his knees. Cam studied him. He’d known the brothers well enough to see when there was something one of them wasn’t saying. Avery had always hero-worshipped Cooper, failing to see any flaw.
What had Julian seen?
“That’s the problem.” Julian refused to look at them. “I do miss him, and I don’t want to. You say you want the truth of that night. There were other things happening besides the crash. Cooper wasn’t the man you thought he was. There was a darkness inside him, and I saw it at the party before he even got behind the wheel. If I told you the truth, Avery, you wouldn’t believe me.” He climbed to his feet, ready to walk away from them.
Avery jumped up, shoving Julian back. “He’s dead! What more do you want from him?”
Julian stepped forward, his face inches from Avery’s. “I want him to turn back the clock. I want to erase everything that happened that night. You aren’t as ignorant as you seem. You were there at the party. The only reason you didn’t see the real Coop that night is because you chose not to see it.”
Avery reeled his head back and snapped it forward, slamming it into Julian’s. Julian twisted his hands in Avery’s shirt, ready to punch him, when Mr. Callahan opened the door. All three boys froze.
“Do you boys really think Cooper would have wanted this for any of you?” He placed a hand on Julian’s, forcing him to release Avery. “Julian knew Cooper better than even I did. I don’t want to know what happened that night, but I do know it shouldn’t put you boys against each other. Whatever his actions were, they were his and his alone.”
Julian blew out a breath. “You’re right, Dad.”
Cam fixed his eyes on Avery. “We all lost a lot.”
Avery’s gaze drifted to Cam’s leg, and all anger drained out of him.
Cam continued. “I thought I was alone. After the accident, I felt like no one would possibly accept me, no one would understand.”
When he didn’t continue, Mr. Callahan spoke. “You should have helped each other. You were all such good friends. I can’t begin to imagine what you all went through, but that night broke this town and this family. It’s taken us a long time, but nothing is gone forever. Nothing is unfixable. Even a group of friends who’ve suffered more than they should ever have to.”
Avery shook his head. “We weren’t just broken. Part of us is missing. We can’t ever come back from that. I’m sorry, Mr. C, but we are different people now.” He walked down the steps and paused, his back still to them. “I…” He sighed, hanging his head. Without another word, he left the way he’d come.
Peyton appeared on the porch. “Are you going to come back inside?”
Wordlessly, Cam walked to her, ignoring her father’s or brother’s presence. He wrapped his arms around her, needing the comfort only she could give.
She returned the hug. “Please, come in.”
He shook his head. “I’m sorry. I need to go.” But he didn’t let go, not yet.
Mr. Callahan and Julian entered the house, leaving the door cracked open.
Peyton’s hands rubbed circles on his back, calming his frayed nerves. Every time he had to recount the night of the accident, it all came back to him. And for once, he didn’t feel trapped in that car. The bubbling waters didn’t rise above his head. For once, he could breathe.
On Monday, life seemed almost back to normal. Cam’s classmates avoided him, whispering behind their hands. He’d always been talked about, but now life was split into two eras. BA—Before Accident—and AA—After Accident. Before, they’d discussed him in reverent tones. He was the boy who’d rise above their small town to do great things—namely the Olympics. He’d never been interested in popularity and generally ignored most of the other students.
Now, their gossip had turned from his bright future to his tragic past. Eyes bounced from his face—once beloved by the girls of Twin Rivers—to his leg. He was a curiosity to them. A sideshow.
And he didn’t care. Not anymore. All he’d ever needed was Peyton, and now he had her. Maybe not the way he wanted, but he’d take whatever she’d give him, and at that moment, it was her soft smile as he joined her at her locker.
He leaned against the cold metal row as she hid her face behind the swinging door.
“This is good, Pey.” He pushed her locker halfway shut so he could look at her. “Like old times.”
“Why, whatever do you mean, Cameron Tucker?” She flashed him another of her heart-melting grins. “This is just a normal day.” She leaned closer. “I know nothing of a year and a half where you didn’t walk these halls, let alone over a month of you avoiding me in them.”
He shook his head with a grin. If she wanted to forget about everything, who was he to argue?
She slid her books into her bag and slammed the locker shut before slipping her arm into his.
Peyton had always been a toucher. Whether it was a hug or just a squeeze to the arm, it was how she showed she cared.
And he loved that about her. She may not be more than his friend, but being this close to her still felt right. As they started walking, she looked sideways at him.
When he met her gaze, she shifted her eyes away as if she hadn’t meant to be caught staring. He suppressed a smile, realizing she was just as happy as he was to be back together. As friends, he reminded himself.
Together, they were able to ignore all the eyes following them. They’d always existed in their own world, a world Cam had once thought gone forever.
Peyton jerked Cam to a stop as a roar of laughter filled the air. A few guys from the football team stood huddled together. Their stares made it evident who they were talking about.
Peyton tensed, and Cam knew she was waiting for the words that cut like a knife.
“Look who it is.” Carlson Rogers, star linebacker, began. He bent forward, making a loud “riiiip” sound. His friends laughed, and it was only then Cam saw Avery.
He didn’t join in the joke as he met Cam’s gaze for just a moment before shoving Carlson back against the lockers. “Cut it out, man.”
But Carlson wasn’t done. His eyes fixed on Cam, and he grinned. “Figures the fat girl would be the one to take pity on the gimp.”
Cam stood stock still as that word bounced around his mind, trying to do as much damage as possible. Gimp. Gimp. Gimp.
He barely registered Avery decking Carlson or his shouted “Don’t ever say that again.”
Peyton’s hand found his. “It’s just a word, Cam.” Cam’s breathing evened as he looked at her. He’d never understood how much words could hurt before, but she had. Peyton had been picked on for years, even when Coop was around to put a stop to it.
Cam had never known how strong she truly was.
“Just a word, Cam,” she whispered. “You’re the only one who can give their words the power to hurt you.”
The F Word (Redefining Me #1) Page 11
