by Addison Cole
“You really are good to me, Savannah.” He looked at her briefly, then focused on his hands.
She kissed the back of his neck. “That’s because I like you at the moment,” she teased. Savannah knew from working with people who were usually smack dab in the middle of a crisis that it was better to wait for them to bare their truths when they were good and ready than to push. She massaged the knot in his shoulders and waited.
Jack rubbed the back of his left arm with his right hand. Savannah could practically feel the scar on her palm. “I haven’t shared this with you because I wasn’t sure how, and every time I wanted to tell you, I worried about what you’d think of me.” He drew in a long breath, then blew it out slowly and turned so he was facing Savannah. “The night of Linda’s accident, there was a storm.”
Savannah knew she should tell him that Treat had already filled her in, but she felt the weight of his confession between them and saw it in the rounding of his shoulders. She had to let him get this off his chest.
“It was only raining when she left, but the weather reports called for severe storm warnings. I never should have let her go.” His eyes remained trained on hers. “The storm got worse while she was gone. Doubled in strength.” He paused, swallowed hard, and his eyes welled with tears. “I can still smell the burning rubber and oil. I can see the flames. I never should have let her go. I had just come back from tour, and I was exhausted and so wrapped up in reports and data and still wound up in what we’d accomplished.” He shook his head. “It was my fault. I shouldn’t have let her drive with the storm warning.”
“Jack, you don’t have to tell me everything. I know you blame yourself. My cousin Blake knows Rush, and I guess he told him about the accident, and Blake told my brother.” Her stomach twisted at the depth of the pain she saw in his eyes.
“Does your whole family know?”
“Probably by now, but they don’t blame you.”
Jack shifted his eyes to the floor.
“She had a car accident. Anyone can have a car accident, any day and anytime. You couldn’t have known that she’d get stuck in the storm.” She took his hand in hers. “Look at me, Jack, please.”
Jack looked at her, and she scooted even closer. “You didn’t cause her accident.”
“Did Rush tell them that I found her?” he asked.
She nodded. “I’m so sorry.”
Tears hung in his eyes, and Savannah could see the tension in his face as he willed them not to fall. Seeing Jack so sad tore at her heart. She leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him.
“It’s okay to be sad, but that sadness doesn’t have to turn to guilt and anger and consume your every thought.” She rubbed his back, and when he drew away from her with red-rimmed eyes, she wished she could take the day off and stay with him.
He wiped his eyes. “Thank you. Her father and sister forgave me, but, Savannah, I’ve driven away everyone who loved me because I felt so guilty. It took a long time, but I understand now that I projected my guilt on them when all they really wanted to do was help me through the pain of losing her.”
“We all do things like that, Jack. You just did it to an extreme.” She ran her hand along his arm.
He nodded. “Maybe. But Rush? Rush will never forgive me. We said things to each other that we never should have said, and if you think I hold on to anger…” He shook his head. “And he has my father pushing him to be a man, which means…oh, who knows what that even means anymore.”
What he was going through sounded familiar to Savannah. Rex had held a silent grudge against Treat for years, and Treat had never known why until he finally confronted Rex. If brooding Rex could get over his anger, anyone could.
“If there’s one thing I have learned, it’s that the fiber that weaves a family together is stronger than anything we could ever imagine. I know it feels like you might never get through to him, but I don’t believe it. You have to try, no matter how hard it is.”
Jack sat up and rubbed his face with his hands. “I intend to try, but I’m a realist, and you don’t know my father. Lately I feel like I don’t know him, either. I might have dug a hole with Rush that’s too deep for either of us to climb out of.” He took her hand and rose to his feet, bringing Savannah along with him. “You need to go to work, and I need to get home and finish cleaning out the house. Can I call you later?”
Savannah smiled at the formality of his question. “I would be upset if you didn’t.” She started toward the hall, then turned back. “Jack, are you really okay with all of this? I can stay home with you if you need me to, to help you at your place or be there if you need to talk.” She’d spent years nursing her career. It was time she gave her relationship—this relationship—the attention it deserved.
“See? You really are my angel. I’m a big boy, and you have a career to maintain. I’ll be fine. And yes, I’m really okay with all of this. I never expected life to be easy, Savannah. I just expected it not to be quite so hard. But as far as I can see, the hardest part is over. Now I have to walk over the stones I’ve tossed along the way. Some will sting more than others, but in the end, it’ll all be worth it. And, hopefully, Rush will find it in his heart to meet me halfway.”
Chapter Thirty-Two
JACK WENT THROUGH every cabinet, every drawer, and every storage container in the house, boxing up Linda’s mementos and separating the things he wanted to keep from the things he would give to Elise. He’d prepared himself for another bout of sadness, but Ralph’s forgiveness had helped him put some much-needed distance between himself and the guilt that had ruled him for so long. As that distance became real in his mind and in his heart, he was able to enjoy the fond memories instead of ruing them. The phone rang, startling him out of his thoughts.
“Well, you’re in luck,” Siena began. “Sage just got back in town from a gallery opening in Washington State, and Dex, Mom and Dad, and Kurt and I can all make it.”
“And Rush?” Jack clenched his jaw.
“He wasn’t very receptive to seeing you. I’m sorry, Jack.” Her voice faded as she said his name.
“It’s not your fault. I appreciate you trying, and at least I can talk to everyone else. That’s a start.” Jack wasn’t going to give up that easily. Maybe if he could bridge the gap with the others, Rush would feel pressure to at least see him.
“Sage leaves again on Saturday. Since it’s already Thursday, do you want to do it tonight or tomorrow?”
The last thing he wanted to do was delay seeing his family. Throughout the afternoon, he’d been thinking about them, and not only was he anxious to clear the air, but ever since he’d started deconstructing the walls he’d built around his heart, the ache of missing his family had set in.
“Tonight. Your place or Mom and Dad’s?”
“I can do it here at my loft if you want. Do you remember where it is? East Thirteenth, Greenwich Village.”
“Yeah, I remember. Thanks, Siena. This means a lot to me.”
“Me too, Jack. Does seven work for you?” she asked.
“Yes. Perfect. Want me to bring dinner?” Jack felt a surge of hope run through him. It’s my chance to start over.
“Nah. I’ll have something delivered. I gotta run, but I can’t wait to see you.”
“Me too, honey. See you soon.”
After ending the call with Siena, Jack considered reaching out to Rush again, but if Siena couldn’t get through to him, there was no way he would. Rush adored their sister. He’d just have to make it through dinner, and maybe one of his brothers or his parents would have an idea of how to deal with Rush. And if they didn’t, then he’d find a way to make it happen.
He called Savannah, and when it went to voicemail, he felt a pang of disappointment.
“Hey, angel. Siena set up dinner with my family at her place for seven. As much as I would love to take you with me, I think I have to do this by myself. Rush isn’t going, but the others are. Call me when you’re free. Love you.” The final two words
sent a hum of happiness through him, and as he made his way up to the attic to put away the box he’d packed, he was still smiling.
SAVANNAH WAS AT her desk poring over a client’s file when Aida came into her office and sat on the edge of the desk.
“How much do you hate me?”
Savannah suppressed a smile, her eyes still trained on the document she was reading. “I don’t hate you.”
“Okay,” Aida said. “How annoyed are you?”
“Not at all. I learned a lot from your inquisition.” Savannah looked up at her and couldn’t help but chuckle at the worried expression in her eyes. “Why are you so worried? I’m not mad, but you could have told me you were coming by.”
“And then you’d have warned him. I wanted to see what he was like with absolutely no prep.”
“You’re such a lawyer,” Savannah teased, and turned her attention back to the document.
“I like him.” Aida crossed her legs and put her hand over the document.
Savannah sighed and leaned back in her chair. “I do, too.”
“I think he’s pretty straight. I didn’t get any evasive vibes from him.”
“I could have told you that.” Savannah leaned on the arm of her chair, thinking about the message he’d left while she was in a meeting. He was going to see his family tonight, and she was so nervous for him that it might as well have been her who was going.
“He’s got it bad for you, by the way. I loved how attentive he was. And did you notice that he didn’t check me out at all? I mean, really, how did he maintain that?”
Savannah laughed. “He’s respectful. Not all men have no self-control.”
“I’ve never met a guy who didn’t at least check out the girls.” She looked down at her cleavage. “I’d say he was gay, but by the insanely satisfied look you’ve been sporting lately, that’s obviously not the case.” She rose to her feet. “Anyway, he seems like a good guy. I’m happy for you.” Aida began pacing.
“Have you heard from the magnificent lover from Greenberg’s office?”
“Yes, but I’m not going to see him again. Once you’ve been there, why go back? You know what he has to offer.”
Because it just keeps getting better and better. “How can you be like that? Don’t you ever want to settle down?”
Aida shrugged. “I never thought I did, but watching you all googly-eyed and happy almost makes me want to.”
“I almost forgot to tell you that Connor came by my apartment right as Jack was picking me up for dinner. He kissed me, and Jack basically pulled him off and scared the life out of him.”
“What is up with him? First he cheats, then he shows up? Did he call? Did you know he was coming?”
“Nope. If he had called, I would have told him not to come. I don’t want to see him, and when he kissed me, I wanted to sock him where it hurts. Who does he think he is?”
“So did Jack hurt him?” Aida asked with wide eyes.
Savannah saw the hope in her eyes and shook her head. “No, he just scared him. Connor brought roses with him when he showed up. He can be charming when he wants to be.”
“Don’t go down the Connor trail,” Aida warned.
“No, I’m not. I mean that seeing his smile and the roses, and of course, feeling his kiss, I can totally see why I was so drawn to him. When he was with me, it was easy to believe his lies and buy into the whole apology thing. Don’t get me wrong. I was definitely an idiot for buying into it for so long, but after seeing him again, I realized that probably most women would have done the same thing, so maybe I don’t have big issues after all.”
“Baby, if you think all of us don’t have huge issues, you’re wrong. We all have our own messes to deal with. Hey, want to grab dinner tonight, or are you going out with lover boy?”
“He’s meeting his family, trying to make amends. Sure. Let’s grab something.”
The speaker on her phone beeped and Catherine’s voice came through. “Savannah, Treat’s on the line for you. Shall I put him through?”
“Talk about lover boys. That brother of yours is hot, hot, hot.”
“And married,” Savannah said as Aida walked out the door. “Grab me at the end of the day.” She picked up the phone. “Sure, Catherine, put him through.”
She waited for the click of the line, then said, “Hey, Treat, what’s up?”
“Hi, Vanny. Max and I are coming into town for Hugh’s award ceremony. It looks like everyone’s coming now, even Rex. I’m trying to pull a family dinner together. Hugh’s taking off Sunday, so we’re thinking about right after the award ceremony. Sound okay?”
Savannah loved her brothers so much. She couldn’t imagine not being on good terms with them any length of time. Once again her mind shifted to Jack, and she hoped his family would welcome him back without putting him through a guilt trip. That man put enough guilt on himself to keep him warm in the North Pole.
“Of course. Where and when? Do you mind if I bring Jack?” She held her breath while she waited for his answer. She and Jack had been moving so fast that she knew her brothers would be tougher on him than Aida had been, but he’d already become such a big part of her life that she couldn’t imagine not including him in a family function.
“I’d love to meet him. I got the feeling last time we spoke that you weren’t done with him. That’s another reason I called instead of having Josh tell you about dinner. I wanted to make sure you were okay.”
“You’re such a good brother. I gave you a hard time for checking up on him, and you’re still making sure I’m all right?” Of course he was. Savannah knew that no matter what she did, Treat would never turn his back on her. And she had a feeling that Jack wouldn’t, either.
“You were all tangled in knots when I saw you. I knew you were struggling to figure things out, and I worry about you. Besides, Josh said you spent a lot of time with Danica at the concert, and I put two and two together. A little free therapy goes a long way.”
She heard his smile. “I love her. She always makes me see things clearer.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re okay. Is he treating you well?”
“Of course. But you’ll get a kick out of this. He calls me angel.” She walked to the window and looked out over the busy streets, remembering how it felt to walk beside Jack the other evening and how she couldn’t wait to do it again.
“I have no doubt that you are his angel, Savannah.”
“Really? You’re not going to tease me? I’ve never been particularly angelic.” Her hand drifted to cover her heart. Why did Treat seem to understand so much more than most people when it came to love? She wondered if it was because he’d known their mother best. Maybe the rest of them had missed out on more than just having a mother around, but having learned life lessons from her, too.
“Savannah, you are angelic. You’re tough and you’re brilliant and competitive, but you’ve always put yourself out there for others, and you have the biggest heart of almost any woman I’ve ever met. With the exception of Max, of course. You’re the girl who stayed up all night for a week with your college roommate to convince her that she wasn’t anything like all those horrible things that idiot said she was. Remember? And still you aced your classes.”
She imagined his thoughtful dark eyes and wished he were right there in the room with her so she could give him a hug. She wondered if Treat saw her more clearly than she saw herself.
“I had almost forgotten about that. I guess when I think of angelic, I think of purity and sweetness, and when I think of myself, I think of…” She hadn’t really put words to her thoughts, and now, as she grasped for them, she could only reiterate Treat’s. “Strong and stubborn.”
“There’s only one thing I can say to that. Thank goodness you’ve found a man who sees the real you, Savannah. Look at me. Look at Rex and Dane. Or walk down the street and look at Josh. It takes the right person—a special person—to see through our defenses. Just like you’ve seen through his. Don’t you see why he c
alls you his angel?”
She leaned against the windowsill and smiled. “I guess I do. It has nothing to do with purity or sweetness and everything to do with seeing him for who he is on the inside. The man he’s been protecting with the anger and guilt.” She let out a loud breath. “Thanks, Treat. I didn’t even know I needed to hear that, but I guess I did.”
Chapter Thirty-Three
JACK LEANED AGAINST the side of Siena’s building with his cell phone pressed to his ear, talking to Savannah. Music from the café where she and Aida were having dinner played in the background.
“I just wanted to hear your voice before I went upstairs. I’m a little more nervous than I expected to be,” Jack admitted, though he downplayed just how nervous he was. Savannah didn’t need to know that he’d spent the hour driving into the city contemplating every word he’d say that evening.
“I would be, too. But you’ll be fine, Jack. They’re your family. Just remember that. They might be hurt and angry and tell you exactly how they feel—at least my brothers would—but you can handle that. Besides, it’s not like you haven’t seen them in two years. You just haven’t seen them often.”
“Thanks, Savannah. Are you having a good time with Aida?” He looked up just as his brothers Dex and Sage walked past the connecting street. Man, they look great. They didn’t see him, and he wasn’t sure if he was relieved or disappointed. There was a time when walking into a room full of Remingtons meant slaps on the back and jokes about how things were hanging. Now he didn’t know what to expect, but a jovial atmosphere was so far off the radar screen that he almost laughed. Lost in thought, he missed half of Savannah’s answer.
“…I hope Aida means it. I’d like to see her date someone for more than a night or two.”
He assumed he’d missed something about Aida’s last date, so he answered in a way that he thought might be appropriate. “I’m sure she’ll come around. Are you free later?” He hated giving up his evening with Savannah, but in a way the steps he was taking were for both of them and their future. Our future. If anyone had told him a year ago that he’d be in a relationship now, he’d have denied it until the cows came home. If they would have asked him six months ago, or even two months ago, he’d have done the same. Although in the weeks before meeting Savannah, he had begun to think about making his way back to the family he loved. Maybe fate did have a hand in their lives after all.
