by Kate Swain
Dating My Protector
Kate Swain
Copyright © 2020 by Kate Swain
All rights reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced in any form or by any electronic or mechanical means, including information storage and retrieval systems, without written permission from the author, except for the use of brief quotations in a book review.
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Contents
Blurb
Prologue
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Epilogue
Dating My Brother’s Best Friend (Excerpt)
About the Author
Blurb
The new nanny is too hot to handle.
Green eyes and curves in the right places.
I’ve hardly looked at a woman since my wife died...
But now Tessa is all I think about.
Seeing her with my son makes me feel a longing I’ve tried to ignore.
Her sexy curves keeping me awake at night.
Kissing her was a mistake I can’t wait to make again.
I could get addicted to making her whine and scream.
We can’t keep our hands off each other.
More than that, I’m falling for her.
I need her in my life, in my bed.
But she’s having nightmares.
There's something she won't tell me.
Something’s wrong. Something dangerous.
I knew it was too good to be true.
She left town without saying goodbye.
Just disappeared.
I know in my gut she’s in danger.
She needs me.
And I'm not letting another woman I care about leave me and my son behind.
Nothing could keep me from finding her, from saving her and bringing her home.
I just have to get to her in time.
Prologue
I tried to sleep, but the rest wouldn’t come; my mind clinging hard to my thoughts. I had found it difficult to go to sleep for so long that I was almost used to it. I had forgotten how easy it had been to close my eyes and drift. I rolled over onto my back, eyes open in emptiness, and ran a hand down my face, noticing the stubble I should have shaved, had I not been so tired.
“Amy,” I whispered.
I always talked to her now, in the dark moments when I could hear the peaceful breathing of my son from across the hallway, and I knew I was alone. I had been speaking to her less often lately, but this particular night was hard. I lay with my eyes open, looking into the darkness and wishing that, just once, I could see her.
This is stupid, I told myself.
I knew that Amy had passed away – she passed away eight years ago in an accident, leaving me alone, and our son now growing up more quickly every day. But at Christmas time, I always ached for her a little more than usual.
“Daddy?”
I jumped at the sudden sound. “Lucas?” I frowned, wiping my hand down over my dark hair – I couldn’t imagine what a mess I must look at this time of the night. I found myself looking into the earnest pale eyes of my son – eyes that were the image of hers. Green with a mottling of cloudy gray, they were wide and earnest and contemplated me with a worried stare.
“What’s wrong, son?” I asked. He had gone through a stage of waking quite late at night after bad nightmares, but I thought they had lessened somewhat. He looked worried enough to have had a bad dream, so I wasn’t sure. I reached out a hand to him and he climbed up onto my bed.
“I heard you talking, Dad. Is something wrong?”
I sighed, squeezing my own blue eyes shut. “I’m okay, son,” I sighed. “Just talking to myself.”
“Oh. That’s alright.”
I said nothing and nor did he; just sat down beside me. We were both silent, sitting on the bed, our breaths the only sound in the silence. I was pleased he was there. It made the darkness less empty. I might be twenty-one years older than him, but his presence was at least as reassuring for me as mine might be to him.
“Dad?” he said, turning to me after a long moment. “You miss her, don’t you.” It was a statement, not a question.
I took a breath. “Son… It’s okay,” I said cautiously. “Go back to bed.”
“Dad…”
“Go back to bed, son. It’s okay. It’s the weekend, so how about we make a special breakfast tomorrow, eh? Or maybe we can go out. Uncle Mark might be able to join us?” I made myself grin at him, though it was clearly forced.
He looked at me. He knew I was sidestepping, and he was letting me know. I ruffled his hair. Looked into his big gray eyes – the image of her own.
“It’s okay, son,” I said softly. “I’ll be fine.” I squeezed his hand.
“Okay, Dad.”
He looked into my eyes a moment longer, and then went back to get back into bed. Leaving me alone with my dreams. I rolled over and shut my eyes and tried to sleep. I was twenty-eight years old and alone, and sometimes I wondered if that was enough for me. I loved Lucas more than anything, but I worried for him, too. I was often short-tempered and, frankly, too tired to take proper care of him.
Our nanny, Judy, took care of him, but she wasn’t enough for him either – couldn’t make up, with the best will in the world, for the love and care of a parent. I wanted a better life for us, but I wasn’t sure if I could provide it.
You’re doing well as a mechanic; you own shares in the bike shop. Stop tormenting yourself.
I rolled onto the other side, knowing that I really should be content. I had a steady job, and I worked for my brother Carter, which meant that I had a lot more freedom than I otherwise would. My twin brother, Mark, was a constant source of support and love for both my son and me. I should be happy.
If I could stop feeling so strangely, absolutely alone, I probably would be.
1
Matt
I wandered into work at seven-thirty, feeling tired and drained. I hadn’t managed to sleep much – as usual, my thoughts of Amy and my worries about Lucas had kept me awake. I paused at the door and shrugged off my jacket, ignoring the cheerful Christmas decorations still up in the hallway, and let the wash of early-morning talk and the smell of coffee reach me in the cold hallway.
“…And he’s just not sleeping,” Mark groaned.
Carter’s voice replied. “Tell me about it,” he chuckled. “He will… it only takes a few months before they start sleeping through the night.” He was talking of Mark’s new baby son, Slade. He and Maddy had become parents a few months back. It sounded like the late nights were wearing on his nerves.
“Months?” Mark sounded horrified. “You serious, bro?”
Carter’s laugh made me want to smile. “Yeah, it’s not too bad. Listen – if an old man like me can do it, you can.”
“Who said you’re old?” my brother Mark replied. “In eleven years, I’ll be as old as you.”
I smiled to myself. Carter was our much older brother, but that only made him forty years old. He wasn’t that young to be a first-time father. I’d just had my own son very young. I bit back a grin and came in to get some coffee.
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“Matt!” Carter grinned. “You’re here. You can tell Mark all about kids – hell, you can tell me, too!” He looked at me with wide eyes. “You’re a veteran.”
I smiled, feeling my weary face lift into a tired smile. My brother was an army veteran, so he should know a bit about long nights and stamina. Even so, I thought, as I waited for the machine to dispense my coffee, he was looking worse-for-wear. His own son was over a year old now, but evidently still keeping him awake.
“Yeah,” I smiled. “It can be tough. But it’s so worth it.”
“Yeah,” Carter nodded. His eyes sparkled and the expression on his firm-jawed, handsome face was one of such tenderness it almost melted my heart. I wondered if Amelia, his wife, knew just how intensely he loved his little family; how he would die for them if needed.
“How is he?” I asked Carter. His grin deepened.
“He’s still walking – I reckon I’m going to put everything in the house on bricks, so he can’t get a hold of it.” He shook his head.
I almost spilled my coffee as a big bubble of laughter rose up inside me. The idea of Carter raising all his furniture a few inches off the ground amused me. When Lucas had started walking, we’d just baby-proofed the stairs.
Thinking of Lucas’ becoming ambulatory made me miss Amy. I recalled the sparkle in her eyes when he’d taken his first steps, how she’d held out her hands to support him in his stumbling, adorable attempts to navigate the living-room. I found my eyes damp and looked suddenly away.
“Matt! How’re things?” Mark asked, coming to join me. “You ready to finish that paint-job?”
“Yeah,” I managed, reaching for a tissue so I could surreptitiously blow my nose. I noticed a frown on Mark’s brow and realized he had seen my expression. He wanted to ask me about it, but I didn’t want to talk about it. I looked away. “Let’s go check there’s still some silver paint left,” I suggested. “Since some people insisted on using it…”
“I didn’t steal it!” Adam – our fellow-mechanic and brother to Maddy, Mark’s wife – added playfully. “I just had to use it to touch up the work around the medallion…that’s all.”
“That’s your excuse, is it?” I teased him. He laughed.
“Boss! They’re ganging up on me!” He chuckled, turning to our elder brother.
Mark laughed, and so did I. We had always been a force to be reckoned with if we chose to unite against our enemies – something we always had done. I think that, without Mark, grief and pain would have taken me over completely when Amy passed away. I would never stop valuing his place in my life.
“You sleeping?” Mark asked me as I went to the shower-room to change into my overalls.
“Yeah,” I shrugged. “Why shouldn’t I be?”
He shrugged too. “No reason, I guess. You just looked tired. I thought maybe my nephew’s having nightmares again?”
“No, Lucas is great,” I said firmly. “He’s still sleeping soundly.”
“Oh,” Mark said, sounding non-committal. “Good.”
I listened as his footsteps died out down the hallway, then shrugged out of my tee-shirt and into my overalls. I glanced down at my body in the mirror as I did so: firm abs, strong legs and arms. I still worked out in my spare time – a few minutes each evening. It was more because it made me feel good than for the outcome of my appearance, though I had to admit I liked to keep in shape and looking good.
“Not that I get to go out much,” I sighed to my reflection, looking into my own blue eyes. My own face looked back at me – a thinner, longer version of my brother Carter’s face; just slightly more delicate than Mark’s. I had the same thin nose and high cheekbones, but my mouth was more full-lipped and my chin was more pointed. I had always thought Mark looked tougher, and he had certainly used it to full advantage with girls.
“I had the only girl I wanted.”
I shut my eyes, willing myself to get onto another track of thought. My mind had gotten stuck in this space of missing Amy. I guess it happened every year at about this time, and then again around my birthday, and Lucas’. Now, seven years after her death, it had suddenly ganged up on me, as if all the tears that had been frozen inside me were finally thawing out with the new year.
I took a deep breath, got my tears under control, and went out into the hallway.
“Hey! Adam! Give us some space there, bro…” Mark called out good-naturedly as he wheeled our latest project – a massive Harley – onto the floor of the workshop. We had spent the last week and a half decorating and customizing it for a well-heeled customer, and it looked amazing.
“Wow,” I said, standing back to admire our handiwork. One great thing about having a job you love is the fact that work can actually lift your mood. I reached for the paintbrush and the pot of precious silver paint that Adam had snatched from us last week and bent down to add the final details.
I was still busy working when I heard Carter behind us. “Lunchtime in half an hour, guys! And, Matt?”
“Mm?” I asked, taking the paintbrush out of my mouth. I didn’t realize how fast time had gone as I got lost in my work. I looked up as Carter reached down to me.
“You had a phone call,” he said. “Your phone was in your jacket-pocket, outside my office.”
“Oh! Hell!” I reached for it, frowning. Lucas had my number, and I felt cold with the fear that it could be him. He wouldn’t contact me here unless there was an emergency…
I felt myself relax slightly as I noticed that it was our nanny, Judy. It was less likely to be an emergency, since Lucas was at school right now. I texted her back nevertheless. Then I stuck my phone in my pocket, so I wouldn’t miss any return calls.
“Is it okay?” Carter asked.
“It’s fine,” I said lightly, getting back to my task of painting the fine details on the motorcycle paintwork.
We broke for lunch and as we walked across to the pizza restaurant we usually attended for any special occasion – and always on Fridays and Mondays – I heard a message-tone coming from my jeans.
I read the note, which was from Judy.
Sorry to bother you… Can we talk when you come back from work? Thanks, Judy.
I frowned. There had to be something bad going on if Judy was asking me something like that. Was it Lucas? What was happening?
“Everything okay, bro?” Mark asked me. I nodded.
“Just got to call Judy – she says she has to talk to me.”
“Sure,” Mark nodded. “I can take over for a while, if you need to run?”
“It’s okay…” I began, touched, and then turned away as Judy answered my call.
“Hi, Mr. Brand,” she greeted me. “What’s up?”
“I was worried by your message,” I said quickly. “Is there something serious? Is Lucas okay?”
“Oh! Hell… sorry, Mr. Brand. I didn’t mean to bother you. He’s fine. I’m going to fetch him at school in about an hour. It wasn’t about him – it’s a personal issue. I just wanted to talk to you about it.”
“Oh?” I asked, relieved that my son was okay. “Are you okay? Is something happening?” I had noticed she was a bit ill last week, but I had assumed it was just a cold and forgotten about it. I hoped now that it wasn’t something serious…
“Oh, Mr. Brand! It’s nothing like that! I’m getting married!”
“Oh!” I grinned. “Congratulations! That’s awesome.”
“Thanks!” she replied, and I could almost see the big grin all over her pixie-like face. Judy was about twenty-two, I thought, with a sweet face and big brown eyes. She had been seeing a guy from just outside Kansas City – also a mechanic – for a few years now.
“When is it happening?” I asked, pausing as the other guys walked into the restaurant before me, Carter holding the door for me. I felt the hot air inside the restaurant hit me like a wave, thawing out my fingers and my toes somewhat.
“Um… next month,” she said slowly. “Which is why…”
“Why what?” I a
sked, starting to undo my jacket to hang it up at the door.
“Well… Jax and I want to move to Nevada, where his folks live,” she said slowly. “We’d be moving after the wedding, so…”
“Oh.” I felt my stomach twist up in a big knot. “Well, that’s nice, but…” But, how am I supposed to find a nanny at such short notice? Somebody I trust? A person that Lucas will get along with, like he did with you?
I didn’t say any of those things, though – it wasn’t Judy’s fault and I didn’t want to pressure her with them. It was her life, and I, of all people, knew how precious love is. I wanted her to enjoy every second of her life with her man.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Brand,” she said. She sounded genuinely upset, and I found myself shaking my head.
“Please, Judy. I want you to be happy. Don’t stress. Everything will be okay.”
I heard the tension go out of her voice and I smiled to myself, to hear it. “Oh, wow! Thanks, Mr. Brand.”
I sighed. “No worries,” I said softly.
We chatted for a bit, and then I hung up. I looked around the restaurant, feeling weary and disheartened. I was truly happy for Judy, but where was I going to find a nanny? One who Lucas and I could trust?
I sighed again ad went to join my brothers and Adam by the counter, where they were discussing what kind of pizzas to order. I should take my own advice and trust the process more. Everything would work out fine.
2
Tessa
