by Kate Swain
“Yes,” I breathed, trying to get my bearings. Being in a confined space with her was almost more than I could take. For some reason, the only thing I could think of doing was kissing her. My body was willing me to press my lips to hers, pushing her back and feeling the sweet warmth of her tender body against me. “So, I should start with some questions,” I said. “Would you like a seat?”
She frowned at me and shrugged. “That’s not a hard question.”
Her eyes teased and I wanted to laugh. I nodded. “That’s fair,” I said. I gestured to the table, and I took one seat so that she took the other. She looked over at me and I shut my eyes to get my bearings.
“Right,” I said. “Have you any babysitting experience?” I asked.
“Yes, sort of,” she said, a small frown on her brow. “I helped out with the neighbor’s kids as a teen.”
“I see,” I said carefully. Damn, what sort of questions was I even supposed to ask her? I mean, it had been almost four years ago when I interviewed Judy. I had no idea what sort of things I needed to know.
“I can cook,” she said, surprising me. “A bit. And clean stuff, of course.”
“That’s good,” I nodded. I was impressed, not to say somewhat relieved, that she was taking charge of the interview. I really had no idea what I was doing. My only objective had been to introduce her to Judy, to let the two of them get to know each other and start the process of introducing Lucas to her.
In my mind, she already had the job. It all depended on Lucas, and what he thought of her. My son was very sensitive to people, and he would always have the deciding vote.
“Do you need anything from me?” she asked. “Like, my ID? A CV or something?” she asked hopefully. “I didn’t manage to print one out, but you can find it online, with my portfolio…”
“Sure!” I said, overly hastily. “I mean, yes. Great. Maybe you can let me see a copy of your ID, and I can Google-search your portfolio, then.”
I was sure she must be thinking I was a total idiot. I was acting like I was the one at the interview, being assessed. She had been more composed and collected from the moment she walked in here, after all.
“Okay,” she nodded. “Here,” she added, passing me her identity card. I took it, unable to stop my eyes from going to her full name and then her age. A picture of her as a teen looked out at me, her green eyes seeming lighter back then, as if the weight of her sadness was not there.
“Thanks,” I nodded. I looked at the name. Tessa Anders. She was twenty-two years old, I guessed, counting up the difference between my birthdate and her own. I raised a brow. She seemed much younger than that. Yet, looks could be deceptive – and she was certainly very confident, whatever her age.
I made a copy in the copying machine, not sure why I was doing it. It felt professional, somehow, as if I was used to hiring people. I gave the original back to her, and glanced at the clock.
“Maybe we should leave?” I suggested, more out of desperation to escape the awkwardness than anything else. “It’s just on five-thirty, and we need to get through lots of traffic. I want you to meet my son before we decide anything.” I hoped that sounded cautious enough – I didn’t want her to think she had the job, just because we were going to meet Lucas today.
“Sure,” she nodded. “Are we going to meet the other nanny?” she added, pushing back her chair and standing up. She was quite short, I noticed. Her solemn green gaze made her seem somehow taller.
“Yeah, and Lucas, of course,” I said, reaching up to where my coat hung on the rack beside the door. “He should be back this time.”
“Great,” she said easily. She followed me to my car, seemingly unperturbed by the thought of getting into it with me.
I, on the other hand, was almost a mass of nerves. I took a long breath, unlocked the door and got in. It was only as she slid into the passenger seat and shut the door firmly that I realized I could have opened the door for her. It would have been courteous, I cursed at myself for not doing so. I looked down at her and found her smiling up at me.
“Well?” she asked, putting on her seatbelt firmly. “Where to, now?”
I swallowed hard. “To my home.”
I focused grimly out of the window, trying to ignore the sight of her firm thighs, just inches from my hand as I moved to shift the gear-stick. I needed to concentrate or otherwise risk having an accident because my eyes were riveted on her plump lips or her firm body.
“You live far away?” she asked. She had turned to face me, her green eyes wide. I bit my lip, fighting the urge to press my mouth on hers and kiss her straight on.
“Not far,” I said. “In fact, I live as close to work as I can, while still being in a safe neighborhood,” I said, putting on the indicator and turning left. I had chosen to live in the closest reasonable suburb to the bike-shop. Mark wasn’t too far away, and Carter preferred to live in a leafy neighborhood far from work.
“Sounds sensible,” she nodded.
I was struck again by how mature she was – so much older than her years. I wondered why that was. I was going to ask something about her past, but she changed the subject, gesturing out of the window.
“Look! Such bright lights… But at least we don’t have many cars in front of us.”
I nodded. The car in front of us had particularly bright rear lights. I considered giving him a blast from my fog-lamps but figured that would be petty. I had more important things to think about than pointless arguing. I was, I realized, as I glanced at the girl, happier than I had been in a long time.
“We’re almost there,” I said, turning left again.
She chatted for a bit about Kansas City – how big it was, how much traffic, how many people worked there – but then quietened down as we got to my house. I wondered if she was nervous. I realized that she was in a car with a strange man and that she had no reason to believe I was driving her here to meet my son. I cleared my throat.
“When you’ve met Judy and Lucas, I’ll drive you to your apartment,” I offered.
“Oh!” She frowned at me. “No, don’t worry,” she added hastily. “If you leave me by the bus-stop, I can walk. The one near the bike-shop. I’ll be fine,” she added when she saw my skeptical expression.
“It’s not safe,” I said, wondering why she didn’t trust me to drive her home. I felt confused and a little hurt.
“I’ll be fine,” she said firmly. “Please?” she added.
“Okay,” I agreed.
I drove into my parking spot and sprang out of the car, rushing to her door to open it. She got out before I got there, and frowned at me while I hesitated around the trunk, clearly wondering what had possessed me.
“Um, you can go up,” I said. “The door’s never locked at this time. I’ll lock up here and follow you.”
“Okay,” she said.
I noticed that she waited for me to go in first and that she went instinctively to the stairs, not wanting to be in the elevator with me. As it happened, we lived on the first floor, but her nervousness set me wondering what exactly had happened in her past.
“Here we are,” I said, knocking on the door. “Hey, Judy!” I called through the door, hoping to convince her that this wasn’t all some elaborate pretense. “Are you there?”
Judy opened the door, looking puzzled. Her eyes went across from me to Tessa, and I saw her frown at me.
“This is the new nanny,” I said. “Judy, meet Tessa. Tessa, this is Judy, who has been helping out with Lucas since he was a baby.”
“Oh,” Tessa said, holding out a hand to Judy warmly. “Hi.”
“Hi,” she said, grinning at the new nanny. Suddenly, it was as if I might as well not have been there. The two women were engaged in instant conversation. Tessa looked relieved, the set of her shoulders visibly relaxing as she followed the other woman over the threshold.
“Damn,” I whispered to myself. I felt relieved too, but for a markedly different reason I had never had to fight so hard in my life not
to touch someone.
I could hear the sound of voices coming from the living room and I went in too, ready to explain to Lucas – who would probably be nervous – about the new nanny.
“…Lucas,” Judy was saying gently. “This is Tessa. Tessa, this is Lucas.”
“Hi!” Lucas said. His eyes were big, and, oddly enough, he seemed quite interested. Normally, with strangers, he hung back, waiting to see how they reacted for a bit before he’d initiate contact. With Tessa, though, he took her hand as soon as she held it out, shaking it firmly.
Tessa smiled. “It’s very nice to meet you,” she said.
I watched Lucas’ eyes light up and I bit back a smile. I had never seen him react so instantly before. Not that I blamed him, I added to myself, trying not to grin. He could certainly also see what a lovely person Tessa was.
I smiled at Lucas reassuringly. “Tessa might be your new nanny,” I explained slowly. “Judy is going to have to leave at the end of the month. But she’s going to be with us for a long time, yet,” I added, as his eyes took on that fixed look.
“Oh,” he said, and blinked up at Tessa. “You’re going to be my new nanny?” he asked skeptically.
Tessa looked at me and smiled at him warmly. “I might be,” she said carefully. “If we all decide that.”
Lucas looked at me with the same hopeful face he usually showed when he wanted a game or a cake. “Can we decide that?” he asked.
I looked at Tessa, who looked at Lucas. Judy looked at me.
I smiled. “I hope so, son,” I said and meant it. “I hope so.”
8
Tessa
I tried not to focus too hard on Matt as he walked out with me to his car. He was so sexy, and now that I was getting to know him, I liked him more.
He is so good with his son.
I could not forget the interaction between the two of them – the utter trust on the kid’s face as he looked at him, that tender smile he gave the child. He was a good man. I had been a little nervous about him in the beginning, but the more I saw of him, the more I started to trust him.
“So,” he said, turning to smile nervously at me. “How did it go?”
“I’m good,” I said, raising a brow. I had done the easy stuff – apart from the interview, where he’d been more tense than I, and overlooking the ride to his house, when I really had been tense. I still didn’t quite know why I managed to convince myself to get into a car with a man I didn’t know.
I guess, I thought as I climbed into the car beside him, because he seemed so nice.
I found myself glancing down at his hand as he changed gears as we pulled off into the dark streets. He had firm hands, strong and muscled, a scar down the back of one, suggesting that he worked a lot with his hands. I fought the urge to ask about it.
“You lived long in this town?” I asked instead. My voice sounded strained, and I coughed to clear it.
“My whole life,” he said, turning to look at me. I noticed again how blue his eyes were, how beautiful.
“Wow,” I commented. “That must be a weird feeling. To have lived all your life in one place, I mean.”
He frowned. “And you?” he asked. “Are you new here?”
“Yes,” I said carefully. I directed my stare out of the window, hoping he’d decide to change the subject. I really didn’t need him to inquire into my background – not when it seemed like he was seriously thinking about hiring me. I didn’t want to tell him how desperately I needed the job – he might wonder about my background and then there was almost no chance I’d be invited.
I found my fingers knotting themselves in a strand of hair – a nervous habit. I made myself drop my hand to my side.
“Are you sure about this?” he asked. His voice was low, and I tried to ignore the fact that it sounded like heated velvet.
“What?” I asked, and then noticed that he had stopped the car and that we were at the parking lot. Near the bus-stop. “Oh. Yes, I’m sure.” The last thing my employment-opportunity needed was that he found out I was staying in a cheap hotel. He would be sure to wonder where the heck I’d come from and how I got here.
“Alright,” he said. “But if you need help, call me, alright?”
I swallowed hard. I had never experienced anyone being so protective of me before. Never mind a total stranger. Not that, I thought, as I reached up to unlock my door, that he felt like a total stranger. I had literally only met him today – well, we’d spoken yesterday, but I had no idea what his name had been them – and yet it felt like I’d known him for ages.
“Thanks,” I murmured, and got out of the car. “I’ll see you tomorrow?” I added as I bent to close the door behind me. That was what we’d agreed – that I would go around to their house at eight o'clock, to get used to the morning routine.
“Great,” Matt called after me. “I’ll see you then.”
I walked up to the bus-stop, where – luckily – a few people still stood to wait. I shivered, realizing that I didn’t feel exactly safe in this neighborhood – not after dark.
When I got home, I lay down on the bed, realizing how weary I felt. It was a relief, I thought. I hadn’t known just how stressed out I had been about finding a job. As it was, it seemed amazing beyond belief that my worries were almost over.
I woke up early the next morning and washed and dressed, glad that I had thought to buy another t-shirt yesterday. My one shirt was starting to smell a bit weird, and I would be super-glad when I had a chance to wash it. I shrugged on the t-shirt and looked at myself in the mirror. It was a sort of dark turquoise, a color I almost never wore. I couldn’t believe how good it looked. I had bought it because it was on sale, but it really looked stunning.
“Come on, Tessa,” I lectured myself. “You are there to babysit Lucas and that is all.”
I would focus on my job, however much I might be attracted to Mr. Hotness there.
I looked at the map coordinates that he’d given me before we left yesterday, and tried to figure out a bus-stop that was close enough for me to walk there. I found what looked like a good line and headed off to catch it. Google was teaching me more every day.
I arrived at eight o'clock almost exactly, and ran up the stairs to the apartment, my heart almost in my mouth. I was waiting for the door to be answered by Judy, but when it opened, I was looking into those blue eyes.
“Hi,” I managed to say, my voice suddenly tight in my throat.
“Good morning.”
He looked at me, and I looked at him, and for a moment it was impossible to breathe. I was attracted to him, and it amazed me to see the signs of the same feeling on his face. He was staring into my eyes and my body caught fire. I felt an overwhelming urge to put my hands on those muscled shoulders.
“Um, come inside,” he said, obviously becoming aware at around the same moment that I did that we were standing in the doorway, leveling heavy looks at each other.
“Thanks,” I said, and went in, wondering if my face was blushing as much as I suspected it was.
I shrugged out of my coat and waited as Matt shut the door and then turned to face me. We could hear a kid’s voice coming from the kitchen, raised and exuberant.
“And then I have races. And I’m going to beat Bradley Flinter, I really am!”
I raised a brow.
“He has track after school today,” Matt explained, with a smile. “He really likes running.”
I nodded. “That’s great,” I said. I glanced at Matt, and noticed his long, muscled legs with a small shiver. He would be a good runner, I thought. If his son had inherited any of that, he was going to grow up a real athlete. I frowned, wondering where his mother was and what had happened to her.
“So,” Matt said, smiling at me. “I have to run to work. I’ll leave you with Judy. I’m just heading in to say bye to my son.”
“Great,” I said, and followed him into the kitchen, waiting in the door while he went to have time with his son.
I watched as he
went around the table to where the little boy was sitting, a big bowl of chocolate breakfast-cereal half-eaten before him. Matt stroked the child’s head, and he turned to look up at him fondly.
“Daddy,” he said. “Are you going?”
“I will be back early today,” he promised, getting down to look into his son’s eyes. “And then you can tell me all about running, hey?”
“I’m going to beat Bradley today!” His son said. “I can feel it.”
I grinned and Lucas laughed and Matt smiled; the most tender-hearted smile I had ever seen him give.
“So,” he said, smiling at Lucas. “See you later, then? Be good.”
Lucas grinned and I guessed this was some sort of shared humor. “Of course I’ll be,” Lucas said, with an air of injured indignation. He grinned up at his father afterward, who laughed.
“See you later,” he said to Judy, and then turned to smile at me. “Have a good day.”
“Thanks,” I said, and felt my lips lift into a big smile.
I was still watching the front door as it shut gently behind him. I turned to see Lucas settling himself in his chair again.
Whew, I thought. Good-looking, sweet and caring. He has to be the best man I ever saw.
I found Judy standing at my side.
“I’m going to take Lucas to school,” she said. “You should come with us.”
“Okay,” I said. I tried not to frown. Judy had been so friendly yesterday, and it seemed weird for her to be so standoffish now. I followed her out.
We drove to the school, which wasn’t particularly far away. I sat next to Judy, with Lucas in the back, and we all sat together in hushed silence.
When Lucas had got out of the car, hugging Judy and waving shyly to me, the current nanny turned to me.
“Okay,” she said. “Now, I have a few questions for you.”
I stared in shock. Instantly, I felt scared. She had found something out – she must have. Or why was she suddenly being so horrible, when she’d been acting like my best friend from the moment we met each other?
“Alright,” I said tentatively. “What’s up?”
