by Falon Gold
“Oh, I knew, but I don’t know how Olivia or Duchess will feel about us. I need time to feel them out first, ease them into us being together.”
“I respect that and think I know how Duchess feels. She practically assigned me to your wellbeing without asking if I wanted the job and said we’d enjoy each other’s company. Olivia seems easygoing and quite the friendly character.”
“That doesn’t mean Duchess wants us to get together, Bradley. Sometimes, exes have a problem with who—”
“Their exes’ next is,” I cut in. “I know that, but I’m not letting her control who I date. Unless, she wants me to date the woman I want to be with.” Which I was sure she did.
Delilah’s mouth fell open. “You want to be with me?”
“I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t and I think you need time to figure out what you want and if we’re worth you maybe losing your friendship with Duchess. I don’t think you will. She isn’t petty like that, but I can ask her so you don’t feel like you’re going behind her back.”
“No!” Raising her voice betrayed her fear. She marched forward to palm my chest as if to hold me back. “I’ll ask. She’s my friend and deserves to hear this from me.”
“Okay, fine. I don’t want to argue.” Grasping the globes of her ass that indeed fit right into my palms, I pulled her as close as I could get her. “When can I see you next?”
Her lips sloped upward again. I could suddenly breathe easier, hadn’t realized I’d been holding my breath.
Clutching at my arms and laying her chest flat to my stomach because she was short as shit, she seemed to want no space between us either. “You can come tomorrow while Olivia’s in school and after spending time with Aiden too, but… will you park down the street until I’m officially divorced and have talked to Duchess?” The abrupt desperation in her demeanor and posture stiffening—like she was bracing for me to say no—wouldn’t let me say no.
I wanted her happy. That didn’t help with the feeling that we took ten steps back just now. Possibly ten more if I put up a fuss about parking anywhere but at her home.
Exhaling heavily and resolving to do things her way, I rocked her from side to side, giving solace to us both. “For you, I’ll park down a block away if it helps.”
Then, I kissed her.
There was this stray thought in the back of my mind that she had me by the balls. The way to undo that hadn’t shown itself by the time I got to the trailer. Loathing to go inside, I wanted to be with Delilah, watching her sleep in the safety of my arms. Somehow, I knew there was going to be a long road getting there.
Chapter Ten
Two years later
~Delilah~
“Oh, baby, don’t move,” Bradley begged for the tenth time from beneath me, trying to make this rendezvous last longer. It never worked. “Too wet, too tight, Delilah.”
“That’s not going to change, lover, so get used to it already or actually don’t,” I wheezed, impaled on nine inches of thick man meat, some not for the last ten minutes.
No matter how many times we came together like this, my body always had to adjust to his size and vice versa. I swore my lady parts snapped back tight afterwards. “And I’m moving.”
“Shit!” he hissed, nostrils flaring.
What was better than being impaled on nine inches of him? Movement, so up, I went. The headboard of my bed thumped the wall as I picked up the pace. Normally, we laid sideways to keep the incriminating noises down. Today, we seemed to be of the same mind; connect to the other as fast as humanly possible when he got here this morning.
And we were still going at in the late afternoon. His grunts resonated at a steadily rising volume. Both of his hands were firmly planted on my hips, aiding my dive up. Pressure built in my core, winding tighter as I rode him hard.
“Fuck!” he lamented, lifting his head from the pillow to suckle on my nipple.
His mouth sparked flames in my center. Then, I was being rolled over to my back, legs repositioned on his shoulders before I could object. With his body blocking out the sunlight pouring in the window on the other side of the room, Bradley hammered into me like a man possessed while fondling my clitoris.
“Oh God, Bradley.” I snaked my arms around him, holding on for dear life and him close.
He knew all the places to invade, sending me out of my mind and over the proverbial cliff. I shrieked his name as I shattered. Waves of orgasmic lightning streaked through me, electrocuting bundles of nerves in every part of my body. Shutting my eyes, I wondered if I’d live through it. He still had to find his release. That could be two minutes from now, could be two hours.
We had less than half an hour for me to shower and dress then get Olivia. I still walked with the ladies to maintain my cover. Why did I need a cover, Duchess didn’t know about Bradley and me yet and things needed to be kept normal. I felt like a fraud every time our families got together for an occasion. Bradley and I arrived separately to keep suspicions down. There were moments when I couldn’t tell if it worked.
Worse, the divorce still wasn’t final. Rafe was fighting it to the bitter end, erecting every roadblock he could. Bitter or not, I didn’t care, just wanted it to end. Tired of my relationship with Bradley existing in the shadows, never truly happy unless he was with me and Olivia. He was unhappy however, pulling away more and more every day.
Behind closed doors, we had grown into our own family, but hadn’t spoken of love ever. I was terrified that saying three little words would bring the world crashing down on us. We’d be forced apart. I knew what I felt; him in every beat of my heart, every breath I took. Contented. In love. Could do a lifetime with him standing on my head.
We had spoken of us being each other’s secret and argued about it then fucked about it. He wanted to tell Duchess, get it out in the open. I talked him down every time. Who knew how much longer that would work?
I didn’t, suspended on tenterhooks keeping Bradley happy and Rafe from my love life, waiting for them both to give up on me. Duchess, Laralie, and Samantha seemed to smirk whenever I was in their presences. Could be the guilt of loving Bradley making me paranoid. It was loaded with my hidden happiness. Hell, I wanted to gush about being in love in girl talk, but Olivia was my first priority. Nothing would make me give Rafe what he needed to take her from me, to hurt me.
So, surrounded by the shadows produced by the canopy top of my bed on a sunny, clear day, I hid my deepest emotions from Bradley as he worked my body he knew so well inside and out. Towing him closer, I murmured sweet nothings in his ear as he tripped over the edge into paradise, dragging me along with him. He finished inside me, swapping my embrace for the empty side of the bed immediately.
The distance between us grew before my eyes, stretching into a metaphoric canyon. As soon as he caught his breath, I knew we were going to have the same disagreement. It was routine, always split my heart in two. Olivia was on one side, him on the other with me trapped in the middle loving them both too much to move.
I ran my eyes over his chest, memorizing the beads of sweat glowing in the sunlight sneaking past the bed’s canopy curtains. He raced a hand through his hair. Nothing good ever came after that, a sign of his frustration.
“Delilah.”
Here we go.
“Yes.” Turning over, I slid to the edge of the bed, sitting up and basically running in place away from his next words.
“I can’t do this anymore.” And there they were.
Although I knew it was coming eventually, nothing could’ve readied me for hearing it. Heart falling, eyes and nose burning, I tried to keep my composure. There were few things harder than that in my experiences. And I was talking about the woman who once bent to all her family’s demands.
“I-I know, Bradley.” Do not cry, not yet. It’d only make him feel bad for doing what was best for him. Been there, done that. “I wish we could tell one person about us and the whole town not know in minutes. I wish Rafe wouldn’t try to use you against me, would go
away and not come back.”
“That’s it then?” he drawled.
Was he expecting a fight?
I didn’t have it in me.
Worn down over time by enforced cowardness and the need to protect Olivia from her father, I reached for the robe lying on the nightstand near me sluggishly. Twenty-four fucking months, I longed to tell Duchess just to get it over with. To do that, I had to go around her, but my nerve to ‘fess up’ kept jumping out the window. Desperate for her to understand but unable to open my mouth, it petrified me that my honesty would cost me her and Olivia. The loss of Bradley, the love of my life, was just as gut-wrenching.
Swinging the robe around me like armor, I stood up. “I won’t ask you to stay again. This… my situation isn’t fair to you. You’ve every right to do what’s needed for you.”
The cybernetic was authorized to scoured his scalp this time. “I need to be with you, but Rafe wins, huh?”
My poise slipped, a sob breaking out. “I n-need you… Shit! More than you would ever believe. But I need you to...” Another sob got free. “…know that I love you more.”
His head slowly rotated until his eyes were like scalpels on my face. “You’re just now saying that?”
Body trembling enough to break apart, my hands balling into fists were the only things holding me together and it wasn’t by much. “I didn’t say it to hurt you. I’m not laying a guilt trip. It is what it is. I haven’t said it so it wouldn’t jinx us into falling apart faster, but that’s no longer an issue. This isn’t the way I wanted to tell you, but I wanted you to take that with you, to know you have someone out here if you ever need anything, need to talk, or just be in the presence of someone who loves you. My door’s always open. There’s no one else for me. That’s what I’m saying.”
Bradley was on his feet and looming over me before I got the last word out.
Way to go, Delilah, with pissing off the naked giant with washboard abs who can break you in half by just, hell, looking at you with that much torment and fury in his face.
His mouthwatering chest heaved like he was breathing fire. “You’re right about this situation not being fair, but it’s not fair to any of us, Delilah. We’re all losing someone who loves us. You’re letting Rafe’s last and likely next actions control your moves. You’re doing exactly what I told you not to do the night I started falling completely for you.”
First time he admitted that to me and it burned like a bitch to hear because it was too little, too late, wouldn’t do anything to keep us from falling apart. Now, I knew how he felt when I confessed my true feelings for him.
“You’re right, I’m wrong for keeping us on the low, for admitting I love you now, but I can’t stomach taking the risks that may cause Olivia to be taken from me. I am terrified of losing both of you, but more scared of what the Claibornes will insist Olivia do for their idea of a family. It’s not any different from my parents’ demands and she’ll never be raised like that. I’ll leave the country with her first.” Abducting her basically while at a divorcing-standstill.
Breathing out heavily, he clasped my shoulders in his hands. “Protecting us from Rafe is draining you, isn’t it?
I was at my wits’ end. “What else can I do besides wait for it all to work out? You don’t have to wait though. I’ll be the bigger person and…” I gulped. “…let you go.” Those three little words wanted to stick in the roof of my mouth.
Cupping his jaw, I lurched into the calming proximity of his body. With him near, I could take on anything. It was hurting him to be my haven, to not truly claim me as his though. It pained me as much, but I didn’t want to do more harm to him, to us.
“Go, Bradley. Don’t let me, my situation, and my waiting for it to work out be your trouble anymore. There’s only so much Rafe can do to postpone the divorce. The judge will get sick of him eventually. I’ll be free, and when you are, come find me. I don’t want anyone else, don’t need any—” Yanking me up into his arms cut off the rest.
I didn’t mind being manhandled when it got me where I wanted to be. Cherishing his nearness, I bound him in my limbs like a boa constrictor. The mix of ‘making love’ musk, cologne and man all tangled up on his skin was bewitching. Huffing his skin like he was paint, I couldn’t get enough. Nobody ever smelled this good except for Olivia after a fresh bath. Never after she’d been playing outside for a while.
“You want me to go?” he asked gruffly, overly emotional as well.
I loved that he didn’t hide his feelings until they were harmful to someone else. “Never do I want you to go, but if you don’t, my shitstorm might damage us until we can’t be fixed. I rather lose you now and preserve what we have than lose you for good. I’m putting in my request for a second chance down the road now.” Someone would snap him up.
Smiling sadly, he sat down on the end of the bed, pushing my hair back from my face to cradle it in his palms. “Noted. I’ll wait for you, do love you and can tell you need a break from something, or you’ll break. My pushing you to choose me isn’t helping, but I can’t help it even when I know you’ve already chosen me because I want what Duchess and Kincaid have with you.” A family of his own.
“Hell yes, I chose you and we’ll have a real family after I get Rafe off my back.” Completely thankful for him seeing things as they really were, my waterworks’ button failed anyway—this was goodbye. Perhaps only for now but still unbearable, infuriating. Tightening his arms molded my front to his. Wrapping my arms around his neck damn near strangled him. “God, why won’t Rafe just leave me alone?”
“Because he lost everything when he lost you, baby,” Bradley murmured into my hair resembling a bird’s nest in the front, flat mess in the back. “His ego won’t let him be the bigger person like you and walk away.”
“I don’t want to walk away either,” I uttered miserably.
How was I supposed to let Bradley go?
“Neither do I, love.” But, he was going to.
It was slowly killing us to cloak our real relationship from everyone. We were always guilt-ridden when we met up at my house or his after get-togethers with our mutual friends. Our relationship was built on damning omissions and secrecy, bound to disintegrate beneath us.
He rose up to his feet, carrying me along. “I’m going to bathe you. You’re going to pick up Olivia. We’re going to take this break, so you’re not so stressed. When the divorce’s final, we’re going away together. You, me, and Olivia to celebrate.” Those sounded like sweet plans.
It was the time apart that would kill me and every second we spent in the shower, I cried. When his thumb and forefinger tipped my chin up to kiss me tenderly at the back door, I almost begged him to not leave me, ever. The stress from juggling too many balls behind other people’s backs wasn’t breaking me. Losing him was, but I let him go.
He jogged away to his truck parked on the back street. I watched him vanish into the wooded area at the back of my yard. Turning to go out the front door, I ambled to the school alone, a few minutes behind the other ladies. Time best spent building a façade of fake serenity. The beautiful day should’ve helped. Nope. It was all I could do to keep from blubbering like a small child.
Head down, hands in the fur-lined pockets of my ski jacket, everything was lifeless. Approaching the group of ladies I spent a lot of time with since giving up being a bitch to them, I tried to smile as usual. It took too much effort, so that was a colossal disaster.
Waiting by the gate encircling the school, heavily pregnant, glowing and recently married Duchess was the first to scope me incoming. Fuck. “Delilah, what’s wrong?”
Ex-model, redhead Samantha Simpson and Laramie’s resident tattoo shop owner, pixie-sized Laralie Bordeaux’s faces reflected Duchess’ query of my mood.
“Nothing’s wrong,” I lied through my teeth.
Couldn’t exactly spill my guts to her now without making shit worse for myself. I was at my limit, close to my breaking point, and keeping going my damning secret se
emed to be the straw that broke the camel’s back with my emotional state. A crack formed in the barricade damming my feelings from the surface. Most of them anyway.
The first tear slipped out, the rush of misery determined to have its sway. I covered my face with both hands, wouldn’t wish my level of despair on anyone. Arms folded around me. Soothing shhh’s and ‘it’s okays’ rented the air for space. Didn’t do a damn thing to bring Bradley back, but I wasn’t alone at least, had people to lean on. Real family.
“What did Bradley do?” Duchess crooned.
My head jolted up so fast, almost giving me whiplash. “What do you mean what Bradley did?”
We were careful. She couldn’t know about us.
“You thought I didn’t know?” Eh, maybe not so careful.
Laralie, the biggest hater of the old me, and Samantha cackled like witches into gloved fingers. Jesus, they all knew. How they never let on over the years, only God knew. I might’ve been too wrapped up in my own life and Bradley to notice. Whatever the case, this bad situation wouldn’t be allowed to drag on. I’d get closure for something today.
Drying my eyes, I stiffened my spine to face the consequences of my actions. “I really hoped you all hadn’t found out yet. If you’ve figured it out, everybody else has and it’ll get back to Rafe, who doesn’t need any bullets to shoot at me during divorce proceedings. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you I’m in love with Bradley sooner. I couldn’t, didn’t want to lose you guys’ friendships. Didn’t want to lose him either, but I did lose him because I didn’t want to lose Olivia.”
The tears threatened to start all over again, but I swallowed what I could and let the rest pool in my eyes. “One whiff of adultery on my end and who the hell knows what’ll happen with the divorce? Rafe has friends in high places. The judge’s a golfing buddy of his father’s and mine who’s angry as hell at me. It seems all I’ve been doing is losing or this close to losing it lately, so I’m prepared to lose you guys too if it comes to it. It’ll be what I deserve because it’s my own damn fault for keeping secrets, but I don’t regret loving Bradley, Duchess. Not for a single minute.”
