"Hey."
"Hey." Madeline’s voice was weak, and i could barely hear her.
My feet stopped moving.
"What's wrong?"
There was a pause.
"I know we talked and said we loved each other, but," her voice cracked. "we can't ever talk again."
My face scrunched. "what do you mean we can't speak again?"
"Truth is, I don't want to start a relationship. There's already a big fuss around me, and I don't want to drag you further into my world. I don't want to see you anymore, and I moved back into the office. Bye, sawyer."
The phone clicked. I tried to call Madeline again, but it went straight to voicemail. I frantically called my dad.
"What the fuck did you do?" the second my dad answered as eyes turned around the campus to look at me, I yelled into the phone.
"What the hell are you blaming me for now?"
My fingers curled around the phone. I took in a deep breath and let it out slowly.
"I just got a phone call from Madeline. She said she moved out and never wants to speak to me again."
"That was her choice. I didn't do anything but drive her over there."
"Bullshit."
"Believe me or not, that's on you, but at least she's where she belongs."
He hung up, and I resisted throwing my phone against the street.
Over two years had gone by since that phone call, and I had seen Madeline that Thanksgiving. I tried calling Madeline back several times after that, but my calls never went through to her. She never responded to my emails. Ricky drove by the house for me when he was home and said he didn't see anything unusual outside and never saw her outside. Justin said he never saw her on campus again. When I went home for Christmas, all her stuff was gone except for the furniture. I couldn't get into the center to see Madeline, so I ended up going back to school early to work. The message was loud and clear. She didn't want me in her life. Just like my mom, Madeline wanted out.
"I don't think you're studying." Lacey's voice was light.
Turning my head slightly, I looked at her from behind my sunglasses. One corner of my lips curled.
"I studied earlier for my last final. I'm only here to keep my beautiful girl company in this gorgeous weather."
She giggled. "I see that. Are you ready to go eat?"
"Sure."
I got up, pecked Lacey on the lips then took her hand in mine. We headed towards my car. We got in, and I started to head towards the apartment that I shared with Jacob.
"I'm feeling like Chinese food. How about you?"
"You know you don't have to twist my arm for some fried rice."
She laughed. We got to my apartment with her fingers interlaced in mine. As we walked up the stairs, she was on the phone ordering some food to be delivered. Getting my key out, I opened the door to our two-bedroom apartment. The couch was grey, and the coffee table had a large scratch on it from a terrible poker game with the guys. The table had three chairs, and we got the set online from a guy who met us in a parking lot. Lacey came in and placed her bag by the front door. Before I could say anything, my phone rang. It was Justin.
"Dude, I went back and forth on whether I should tell you or not but turn on the TV."
"You're going to have to be more specific because remember I'm in another state. I have different channels. Is it essential I have Lacey over?"
"Pick a news channel. They're all playing this conference."
I walked over to the TV and glanced around for the remote. I started to pat around the couch cushions until I found it. I flipped around until I found a channel with my dad sitting with a girl at a table together. The girl's braid draped over her shoulder and chest. Her pale cheeks were slightly sunken in. She was wearing make-up, but I could see those dark circles still shining through her pale skin. My stomach dropped as I collapsed onto the couch. I slumped over slightly as I sat there staring at the TV.
"What's wrong?" Lacey's voice came from the side.
"Is that Madeline?" Justin asked.
"Yeah." My voice was barely over a whisper, and I wasn't even sure that I was blinking.
"What's wrong with her?" Justin continued.
With Adam, Madeline hadn't been in the news as much. There have been live videos of Adam walking and babbling posted here and there. I didn't watch my dad's conferences, and I hadn't been home since that Christmas two years ago. My dad barely changed, maybe a few more grey strands and a few other lines on the corners of his eyes. Those lines weren't caused by laughter. I knew that much.
"Is that your dad?" Lacey questioned softly.
I nodded my head.
"Is he starving her? I thought you said she wanted to go back to the center." Justin snapped. "She does not look well at all."
"How about I step outside and wait for the Chinese food to give you some privacy."
Lacey stood up, and I mouthed, 'thank you to her. The door closed shortly afterward.
"Dude, I swear she didn't look like that last time I saw her. She looks a little older, but she looks like she hasn't slept in the past two years."
"Have you tried talking to her recently?" Justine continued.
My head fell back, and I closed my eyes.
"No, she has never had a phone, the center never put me through to her, and my dad is him, so not helpful. He insists that she wanted this."
"Thank you for listening to our conference today. Madeline has been a little under the weather, and we figured out what was going on with her genetic make-up. With that being said, we were able to make corrections in our calculations so that future clones will not have the same problem. Thankfully, Adam does not seem to have the same defects. We will be testing some of her eggs soon to see how they react compared to an egg from a non-clone and their reproductive system. We hope that within the next couple of years to open up the business for more clones."
I turned the TV off.
"I can't listen to his garbage," I growled.
"He knows she's not a chicken, right? That he can't just use her eggs like that?"
All I saw was red behind my eyelids.
"Whose sperm would he even use?"
"Justin, I don't need those questions or conversation right now."
"I get it. I know you weren't planning on coming back here, but dude, we got to do something."
I sat back up.
"My last final is Thursday; I'll leave right after that."
"Sounds good. When you get here, I'll help in any way that I can. I know Ricky would even come to help us break her out too."
"Thanks, man."
We hung up, and I tapped my phone lightly to my chin. Taking a deep breath, I let it out slowly. Going through my contacts, I searched for Dr. Green's number.
"Hello?"
"Dr. Green, this is Sawyer. If you are near my father, don't react."
"I'm not. I try to avoid these conferences now. They're just circus acts at this point, not science-related. Your dad feeds into their ridiculousness."
I leaned over, and my knee started to bounce.
"Tell me the truth, what's going on with Madeline."
I heard him sigh through the phone.
"She's been living in her old room here at the office, but I assume by the lack of visits you knew that."
"I did."
"She's not sleeping well here. I've even prescribed medicine to help her sleep, but she complains of nightmares of a lady and fights the medicine if we give it to her. She barely eats, which I think are the two main problems with her health. This time your dad has a lock on the outside of the door so she can't wander around. I swear, seeing Adam at night was what kept her sane last time. Plus, I'm sure being alone so much is affecting her mental health and making her depressed."
I shook my head.
"She made it sound like she chose to move back."
"We had a discussion when she got here. She nor I were happy about it, but with her immune system, we said it was best."
My eyebrows scrunch
ed. "I thought you said Maddie's immune system was fine."
"I fudged the results a little to get her out of the center. Your father hacked into my files and threatened to reveal my lie to the board. My hands were tied at the time. If they find out I risked her life just to get her out of here, the board would have had my job. I'm going to retire at the end of this year. I've spent too many years playing your father's games."
"Is my dad going to have her get pregnant?"
"It has crossed his mind with invitro, but I don't know what he is thinking. I know he's not thinking of Madeline having sex with someone if that's what you're worried about."
I wasn't hungry anymore. Madeline was only seventeen years old.
"When she was little, all the board could see were those big green eyes looking up so nervously." Dr. Green's voice softened before he paused. "As the years have gone by, a teenager isn't as cute, but rather the dollar signs block their visions of the young woman before them."
"I'm driving down Thursday. I will be at that office Friday morning."
"How about you see her Friday night, just the two of you like before you left for college. Then we will deal with the problem that Saturday. I think she's going to need a little encouragement to help win back her freedom. The Madeline that you have once known is completely defeated. I'm not trying to scare you, but you need to be prepared to face someone you don't recognize."
"I don't want to waste time."
"You won't, but I think for both of your sakes, you two might need to talk in person to clear the air, especially before you go guns blazing on your dad. I know how you and your dad are."
I sighed.
"Fine."
"Same deal as last time."
"Thank you."
"Don't thank me, just help me save our girl."
He hung up. Lacey came in with a brown bag. She smiled weakly at me and placed the bag onto the table. She pulled the little plastic containers out of the bag.
"That was her, wasn't it." Lacey's voice came out tender and low.
I nodded as I was unable to look Lacey in the eyes. "That was Madeline."
"You still have feelings for her, don't you?"
I glanced over at her. "It's complicated, but at the end of the day, feelings or no feelings, she needs my help. I'm sorry, but I'm going to have to go back home to help her."
Lacey nodded. "I think I'm going to go back to my place to finish studying."
I stood up. "You don't have to."
Lacey's smile was tight, and she dodged my kiss. She was out the door, leaving me alone with my spinning head.
I was pretty sure that I failed the last final. I had to reread each question about six times. Even then, the words weren't connecting to my brain. It might as well have been in Japanese. I had packed up my car before my final. Unfortunately, it was late in the afternoon, so that I would be driving all night. I called Ricky to ask if I could nap at his parent's when I got to town. I still had a key, so he didn't mind. I then texted his parents, and they just told me to drive safely. However, traveling out of the area, I hit every red light. It was almost as if traffic and time were against me. My car ride was supposed to be around four and a half hours long, but it was closer to eight after traffic and accidents. My eyes were heavy, and I shifted every so often as I drove.
Every second I drove, though, I ran various versions of conversations between my dad and me in addition to what I might say to Madeline. I wasn't sure which exchange I was dreading more. If Madeline was as down as Dr. Green had made it sound like talking to her was not going to be easy. I was not even sure how I could help her or if I'd be able to keep calm enough to get anything done. When it came to Madeline with my dad, I wasn't ever able to keep a level head.
I was finally in town, and the sky was still dark. One of my hands let go of the wheel, and it went to my mouth. My palms ran over my face then my eyes. I opened the windows to let the cool air into the car. The drifts of air weaved into the vehicle but did not ease my spinning mind. Ricky's car was behind his parents' cars in their driveway. I parked my car off to the side with a yawn as I had once done as I finished out high school. There were four patches of grass where my vehicle had parked when I lived there.
Taking the key out of my car, I grabbed my bag out of the back. Quietly I dragged my feet up the stairs and opening the door as I hoped that I would not wake anyone up. The front door clicked as I unlocked the door. As I walked in, a meow greeted me. I bent down and scratched behind the cat's ears. He purred and rolled over. Standing back up, I tiptoed down the hall towards Ricky's sister's room. Ricky had told me to go to her room when we had last spoken. He constantly reminded me that I always had a home with them. His sister had moved back for a short bit but moved out last year. However, her room stayed the same bright shade of green.
I dropped my bag by the bed and kicked my shoes off. I didn't bother taking my jeans and shirt off as I climbed in. I laid on my back and stared at the ceiling. Even though I had been yawing in the car, my eyes were wide open as I stared at the white space. I had spent months living in this house. Yet, it felt odd to be back in this space. It didn't feel like I had spent months living in this room. I could not believe that I hadn't eaten dinner at their family table or studied in their living room. Was I even that same person? Here I have been worrying about Madeline changing, but have I changed?
Taking in a deep breath, I let it out slowly. I forced my eyes to close and turned to my side. I needed to get some form of sleep, the next day was going to belong, and I didn't know what I was planning on doing or saying. I just knew I had to get Madeline out of my dad's possession once and for all.
18
Madeline
I had brought my computer chair near the window. Sitting in it, I turned towards the horizon with my knees brought into my chest. The sun was out today, and the sky was the perfect shade of light blue. If I craned my neck, I'd see the occasional bird flying towards the water. I closed my eyes and imagined what it would feel like to spread out my wings to soar high in the great beyond of endless freedom. That would feel like the freshest air. Would I ever be able to know what that felt like? Had it begun to feel warm yet? It was May, or were we still having those peaks of cool days? My insides tightened as I glanced around the artificially lit room.
There was a knock on the door. Why did people do that when they knew the lock was on the outside? I didn't have a real say if people were allowed in here or not.
"Madeline?"
It was Dr. Green's voice. I could recognize that voice without ever turning around. It was once a comfort, and now it was just another voice.
"Yeah?"
Looking over my shoulder, I watched as he came in. My eyes went back to the window after he sat down in the same chair that Beth used when teaching me. Was this what animals at the zoo felt like? I could look out, but I couldn't ever interact. I even had the people protesting me from the sidewalks. Great, I was a zoo animal.
"How are we doing today?"
I shrugged. "The same as yesterday. I've been stuck in this room for years; I don't know why you keep asking how I'm doing."
"How are you feeling?"
I sighed and shrugged my shoulders. I felt like a house plant that needed to feel the sun on my face.
"Fine." My voice was flat.
Dr. Green wasn't the problem, but he didn't give me any other options either.
"You don't feel sick?"
I shook my head.
"I don't know how you had such an immune system problem, but you've been feeling fine."
I glanced over at him, and he sat in the chair. The older man that would smile at me years ago was sitting and staring at me. The smile wasn't there. The years were etched in his face. His hair was completely white, and the top was thinning. The shine in his eyes that used to make me comfortable and happy seemed to have dimmed—lowering one leg at a time until both sets of toes were on edge on the floor. My hands went to either side of my legs on the chair. The pal
ms of my fingers pressed against the seat of the chair and curled my fingers around the edge. My head tilted as I stared at him.
"I keep telling you all I feel fine. Dr. Vodola knows I'm fine. He just wants to imprison me."
Dr. Green glanced out the window before looking back at me.
"My hands are tied, Madeline."
"Now you know how my poor existence has felt like for nearly eighteen years."
"The board has agreed not to try to test your eggs until after you're eighteen."
"I don't even get a choice in the matter of becoming a mother." I spat. "I don't know why that surprises me. I'd pray for death, but I know it wouldn't prove much of a relief."
"Madeline, I'm running out of things to say." Dr. Green mumbled, his shoulders slumped over.
"I'm not asking for words." I started; my voice was soft. "I'm asking for the same right every other person seems to be granted except for me. I want the freedom to be able to live and to make my own choices. Suppose I want to have friends or go to a party like every other seventeen-year-old. I want to go to school without fear of someone peering over my shoulder or shouting obscenities at me just because I wasn't born from another person. I didn't ask for this life, but I'd like the chance to live it."
"And you deserve that."
I met his eyes briefly before he got up. I just sat there watching him walk out of the room. The door opened and closed quietly.
The light of my television lighted my room. Some cop show was on, but I wasn't entirely focused. It was about three friends; one was a lawyer, and the other two were cops. One friend was dealing with a problem with a kid. Where were cops like this when I was growing up? Then again, it didn't seem like I had the same complete rights as everyone else for protection. I was lying on my side with my head propped up with my hand. I had stayed in my pajamas all day, so I didn't have to change for bed.
The one friend was following a lead in an abandoned house at night. His partner went around back just in case the murderer tried to escape. The friend was tip-toeing up the stairs with his gun and flashlight held up. The red front door was open a crack. He nudges it free with his gun and flashlight. All the lights in the house were off. He moved his flashlight around, but there were pieces of furniture off to the side in the living room, and there was a six-person table off in the dining room. There weren't any pictures up on the walls. He moved through the dining room into the kitchen. There were a couple of pots on the stovetop with a wooden spoon resting on the countertop. He opened the door that led to stairs going down. The door squeaked as he opened it, but there weren't any signs of his partner.
Beaker to Life Page 13
