“I’m the same. Older. Hopefully wiser. I learned a lot about myself and you while you were gone, but I’m the same. You’re stalling.”
“Because I’m different.”
“That doesn’t mean shit, baby. Your being different doesn’t mean you can’t love me. Tell me one way or the other. Stop holding on to hurt and give me the truth.”
He began to rock his hips gently. Her breath rushed out. Her eyes went slightly dazed. He leaned forward and took her left breast into his mouth, pressing her nipple tight to the roof of his mouth and stroking with his tongue. She gasped. He used his teeth, raking, then biting down to tug, watching her face the entire time. She moaned, and around his cock came a flood of heated liquid. He licked at her nipple and then sat straight, holding her in place. Waiting.
He’d studied every photograph Maestro had taken before they’d left. Every single one. Over and over. He had them on his phone and he looked at them often. There was no mistaking the look of love on her face when he was taking her. It was there now. He didn’t reach for his phone to take a picture, but he wanted to. If he couldn’t get her to admit it this time, he would need another photograph to hold on to until she did.
Breezy let out an exasperated sigh. “I do love you, Steele. I can’t help it.”
His smile was slow in coming, but it was full, originating from somewhere inside. He rewarded her courage by lifting her and letting her slide over his cock. She wanted fast. He kept her slow. The burn was tremendous. The pleasure fierce. Almost brutal. They both needed it so much, but he wasn’t ready for that.
He guided her, letting her ride his cock slowly, so that her tight muscles grasped and milked greedily, surrounding him, strangling, all the while growing hotter each time she seated herself all the way and then rose up again. After a few minutes, when she was gasping and trying to wrest control from him, he stopped moving and forced her to stay still. He was immensely strong, and she was no match for him.
“You loved me every minute you were away from me,” he prompted.
She nodded, frowning, trying to see where he was going with it. He could feel her heartbeat pounding right into his cock. Every pulse of her blood. It was sexy and hot and made him feel closer than ever to her.
“Say it.”
“I didn’t want to, Steele, but I loved you every minute, every second, I was away from you. I cried myself to sleep nearly every night, and I dreamt about you.”
“And you love me even more now that you’re with me.”
He lifted her and thrust hard, so that fire streaked through both of them. Her breath caught, and she threw her head back, her lashes lowering.
“Yes,” she whispered.
“You want to stay with me.” He made that a statement.
She went still. Her gaze searched his face and then she framed it with her hands. “More than you could possibly know, Steele. I want to spend my life with you. I love you and I know no one else is ever going to do for me, but I’m not the same girl. I have a son and I have to figure out what’s best for him.”
“I’m best for him. Can you honestly think I wouldn’t take care of him? Protect him?”
“You have to love him, Steele.”
“I’m capable of feeling for my children, Bree,” he said gently. “More than anything, I want a family with you. You’ve got one foot out the door, and I need that commitment from you. I need to know you’re mine.”
Breezy stared at him for a long time, her gaze moving over his face, clearly searching for something there, some sign she needed from him. Suddenly, she leaned into him, the action tightening her sheath around his cock even more, sending fiery spears through his groin and flames licking over his body. She settled her lips on his, kissing him, her tongue stroking and caressing until he took over and kissed her back. He rolled them abruptly, taking her to her back, pinning her under him.
“I want to be with you more than anything. I want a family with you. I can’t pretend I’m still not leery of the club. I know you won’t leave it for me . . .”
“Baby, don’t put it like that. You know I can’t. I’m not whole. They keep me from going off the deep end. Not like you do, but I have to be with them. I am Torpedo Ink. If you love me, you love the club. It’s really that simple.”
Blanketing her body, he began to move in her. Gently. He rested his weight on his forearms, and now he framed her face with his large hands. Staring into her eyes, so she could see his love as clearly as he did hers, he kept the slow building of that inferno between them.
“Give yourself to me, Breezy. Let me have you. I swear you won’t regret it. I’ll take care of you in the club.”
Her eyes went wet, and his heart plunged. She wasn’t going to give him what he needed, and she always had. No matter what, when his mind had been chaotic, and his demons had risen to consume him, she had taken it all away, ready to sacrifice herself for him. For a moment he could barely breathe. Barely think. He’d lost her. He’d lost the intense way she loved him. His body went still, and he found himself having to fight for air.
“I’ve been trying to find out things about the club, so I could better make a decision for Zane. Right now, for me, I would give up everything to be with you. I would accept life in the club and trust you to take care of me. My hesitation isn’t about loving you or trusting you with me. It isn’t even the club for me anymore. It’s about whether or not I think the life is best for Zane.”
He forced himself to hear her. To listen the way every club member listened to the others when they had something to say. Would he want less from his son’s mother? She was struggling to find answers because she wanted the best for their son. He had to love her more for that, even though it was unsettling for her not to give him the commitment he needed from her.
He began to move again, showing her with his body how he felt about her. The intensity of the way he loved her. The overwhelming pride and respect he had for her. Threading his fingers through hers, he stretched her arms above her head and kept surging into her. Withdrawing, holding there for a moment, balancing needs with aches and then thrusting hard and holding again.
“You have to decide whether you trust me with our son. To give him everything he needs. To provide for him and keep the two of you safe. You know I’m capable of those things, Breezy. You’re just afraid, baby, and I get that. You have to get me. You have to know I’m fully committed to you. You have to trust me when I say my club will protect the two of you and care for you the way they do Czar’s family.”
He was a good strategist, and he knew that was a huge selling point. She’d been shocked and very intrigued by the way the club members treated Czar’s family. More important than the way the club members treated them was the way the children responded to them. They couldn’t fake that. She’d also had her son ripped from her. Having an entire club guarding him had to appeal to her.
He moved faster in her, taking her breath. Taking his. His fingers tightened around hers. He buried his face in her throat. “I’m aware, more than any other, that I don’t deserve you, but no one will try as hard to make things good for you and our children. Give me a chance.”
He hadn’t been able to look at her when he told her, because it made him feel so vulnerable and so exposed. He almost wished his brothers were there, surrounding him, just in case he couldn’t take it if she rejected him.
“Honey.”
His heart turned over and he lifted his head to look at her. Her eyes were soft. That look was on her face. The one that told him above everything else that he still had a chance with her because she did love him.
“I’m going to say yes, but,” she added.
It was too late. He wasn’t going to let her take it back. Whatever she needed to say, he would hear, but she wasn’t taking it back. He couldn’t help the smile and he leaned down to nip at her chin. His hips found a faster rhythm. He let go o
f her hands and lifted her hips, holding her so he could move harder and deeper into her.
Her breath rushed out of her lungs and he wanted to grin at her. Instead, he made it his one mission in life to bring her the most pleasure he possibly could. The but didn’t matter. He could handle that. She committed to him and that meant she trusted him with their son in the same way she trusted him with her. No one had ever given him a greater gift.
Her hips matched his fierce rhythm. Each time he thrust deep, her breasts jolted and swayed invitingly. His gaze was glued to her face. That expression. Her lips parted. Her eyes on him. Features expressing her love, her heightened sensuality. That mixture in the green that told him she wanted and needed him just as much as he wanted and needed her.
He took them both to the edge over and over, waiting for that one note that told him she couldn’t wait another moment. Only after getting that satisfaction did Steele let his body swell against that fiery sheath, tilting her body so he was hitting her sweet little spot. She rocketed over, clamping down hard on his cock. He felt every tiny movement, every powerful wave. It was brutal. Glorious. Perfection.
She cried out low, just his name. Chanted it. He loved that too. It only added to the aftermath, her body rippling around his. The hot splash of his seed coating her walls triggering more. He loved those moments. Loved after that when he collapsed over her and held her down. She could barely breathe with his weight, but she lay under him, breathing shallowly, never protesting as he covered her, his cock still buried deep. She always had given him that. He loved that she still did.
When he finally rolled over, he took her with him, so that she sprawled over top of him, her head on his chest, his cock still in her. “I know you need to hear me tell you how I feel about you, Bree. I know that’s the way relationships go, saying the words out loud. I needed it from you because I’m . . . Hell, baby, I don’t know what I am, but I should have told you way back, when you first said it to me. I feel it deeper than I feel anything else. So deep it’s fucking terrifying. I’m never going to be good at saying the words. They get stuck in my throat. It’s like if I say it out loud, something bad is going to happen. I feel as if I’m cursing us. Everyone they knew we cared about died. I want to give you that, and I swear I’ll try, but . . .”
She dug her chin into his chest, those green eyes giving him compassion because his woman was all about that shit. She was everything he wasn’t. “Ink it on your skin, honey. You won’t have to say it aloud. Just point it out to me and I’ll know what you’re saying. I don’t want something beautiful between us to ever make you uncomfortable or bring up nightmares. You look at photographs, and I’ll look at your ink.”
She was brilliant. He could do that. Hell, he could have Ink put that shit all over him. It was the fucking truth and always would be. “I like that solution.” He pressed a kiss to her forehead and lay back again, fingers buried in her hair. “But just looking at those photographs isn’t going to cut it, woman. I’m more fucked up than that.”
Her laughter felt warm on his chest. “You are? What else do I have to do?”
“I want you to tell me as well.”
“That’s not difficult, as long as you’re not worried I’ll curse us.”
“Pretty sure demons can’t hear you, babe. You’re too good. They’re ready to pounce on me.” Because he was a fucking asshole and always would be. Demons liked monsters.
Her fingers drifted to just below his belly and began to write letters there. “I have no problem telling you, honey.”
“I’m not done. That’s the most important, but there’s more. I’ll ink it on my skin, but you say it and then you show me.”
Her eyebrow shot up, and once again her gaze jumped to his. “Show you?” she echoed.
“Need more photographs.”
She rolled her eyes. “You already have so many we’re going to have to get you a new phone. I don’t know where you’re going to put them all.”
“I do.” She hadn’t objected, but then he wasn’t kidding. He’d need more. His very large insecurity problem wasn’t just going to go away because she’d committed to him. It would help, but it wasn’t going to disappear.
“Fine. You’ll have your silly photographs.”
“Coming and going, either one of us, you kiss me.”
“I already do that.”
“Yeah, but it should be a requirement.”
“On both sides, then.”
He let the silence stretch out, and she bit him. He laughed and gripped her bottom. He loved her. Plain and simple. She taught him how to play. How to have fun.
“Fine,” he conceded as if reluctant. He would never pass up a chance to kiss Breezy. Never. Her mouth was pure fire. “Waking me up in the mornings—”
“Don’t even go there or you’ll find you won’t be getting any wake-up calls from me.”
“Fortunately for me, I happen to know you love my cock, so I’ll look forward to you demonstrating that.”
“I won’t deny that.” She laid her head on his chest, ear to his heart.
He tunneled his fingers in her hair. “Tell me, baby. Let’s hear your but. What are you most worried about? I’ll try to put you at ease.” He had known all along he would have to circle back around to her worry, but he wanted to have a few minutes of fun with her so she would stay relaxed and mellow.
Breezy didn’t start unnecessary arguments. He had always appreciated that in her. She didn’t sweat the small stuff. She didn’t care if he had a beer with his brothers, she wasn’t that kind of woman. Before, when she was his, she popped the tops of the bottles and got cold ones for them. He had no reason to think she’d be any different now.
She tensed in spite of everything they’d just shared. He felt the change in her immediately. Panic set in. Her breath exploded out, hot against his chest. “I won’t ever whore for the club. I won’t make drug deals. I won’t help run guns. None of it. Not one thing.”
It was so unexpected, and he actually yanked her head up by her hair. “What the fuck, Breezy? How can you even say that after what we just did? After what I just admitted to you?” The idea of another man touching his woman brought the monster in him far too close.
Her tongue touched her lip nervously. Her eyes went liquid. Steele forced air through his lungs to quiet the fierce need to shake her. She was very, very upset. He had to think beyond his feelings and what it cost him to make the admissions he had and really examine her fears. They were legitimate, just not with his club. Breezy had her own insecurities, and they were as legitimate as his. She came from a similar background and she’d been just as traumatized. She’d been forced by her father to do every one of the things she feared most.
He slowly loosened his fingers from her hair. “Bree, that’s part of trusting me to take care of you in the club.” He had to reassure her, so she would never worry about it again. “First, we don’t use our women for any reason. We don’t take money for any woman to sleep with anyone. If she’s fucking someone at a party, she’s there of her own free will and doing what feels good. She doesn’t have to do anything she doesn’t want to do. We don’t run drugs, so there’s no need to expect a woman to carry drugs for us. Our old ladies are sacred to us as well as to the entire club. They are always as protected as our families are.”
There were tears in her eyes and he brushed his lips over her lids, tasting the drops. His heart contracted. “Baby.” He whispered it against her lashes. “You should have told me right away that was a fear.” He pulled back to look at her.
“I didn’t because I felt like, after observing your club, the idea was absurd, but I get so scared. I can’t help it. I panic at the thought of actually being in a club.”
“Sweetheart, you should have told me. When a man finds the right woman, he isn’t going to whore her out or make her run drugs for him. He doesn’t beat her. He doesn’t cheat on h
er. He doesn’t let other men do any of those things. When he has children, he protects those children. He doesn’t beat them or make them run drugs. He certainly doesn’t whore out his daughters or his sons. You grew up in a fucked-up club, baby. You’re Torpedo Ink now. We take care of our old ladies and our families. I’ve got to tell you, Bree, most clubs do.”
Steele massaged her scalp, knowing he might have yanked her hair too hard. She hadn’t protested and that pissed him off too. She should have. She was too used to the violence she’d been raised in.
“I get rough with you when we’re having sex, Bree, because I think you like it. If you ever don’t, you tell me immediately. It will stop. What I did just then wasn’t deliberate, I was startled, but I still should have been careful. I’m strong, and you could get hurt if I get careless like that. You don’t put up with shit from me.”
“I knew you didn’t do it on purpose. I wouldn’t put up with it, Steele. I told you, I’m not that girl anymore, and I’m not going back.”
He liked the determination in her voice and he believed her. She might love him, and she was more than willing to give him everything he asked for, but she wasn’t willing to be his doormat or take abuse.
“Anything else we need to put to rest before you’re a little easier about Torpedo Ink?”
“Do you run guns?”
“No.” He wanted to give her whatever she needed to lay her fears to rest, but they were skating close to club business.
“What do you do to bring in money?”
“Ink has a tattoo shop. Alena will have the restaurant. Mechanic and Transporter have the garage. I’m a doctor. We’re putting in shops all over Caspar.” He willed her to accept that. “You know we took money from the Swords and their billionaire president.”
She took a breath and dug her chin back into his chest, her eyes meeting his. “What does the club do to earn money?”
There it was. He either was honest, with those eyes of hers staring into his, or he lied, and she’d know it. “You sure you want to know, baby? Because we’re in a gray area here.”
Vengeance Road Page 27
