by Jayce Carter
“Sadly, this might be one of his better moments.”
“And you married him?”
She shrugged. “Seemed like a good idea at the time.”
“You’re too smart for that, Jas. Way too smart to put up with some useless lowlife.”
Jasmine all but collapsed onto her bed, then lay backward, her legs dangling off the side. “Stuff is easier sometimes, or at least it seems like it will be. I mean, on paper, he was perfect. Exactly what I was supposed to want.”
“Spaghetti noodles on pizza is perfect on paper, too, but I still know you wouldn’t try that shit.” He took a seat beside her, even though being on a bed with her was the last place he should be.
Her smile said his stupid comment had at least helped. “I don’t know. It just seemed to be the best choice. By the time I realized just how bad a choice it was, I didn’t want to give in, to admit I’d screwed up. I guess this is all me paying for that one really bad choice.”
“Do you have a lawyer already?”
Her lips pressed together for a moment, the sign of another unhappy point to the tale. “I did, at first. What I figured out was that in that little town, there weren’t any who would go up against Aaron’s dad. Worse, when the fight took all my money and I couldn’t use the funds in the bank, I couldn’t hire one anymore.”
“I know someone out here. He owes me a few favors, since we mostly barter and his cars break down more than I need legal help. I’ll put you in contact tomorrow.”
“I just want it over with. I want to walk away and start over, but Aaron keeps making it so I can’t. He keeps digging in. I don’t even want to fight him on anything. I just want him to sign so I can move on.”
Finn grasped her hand and squeezed softly. “I know, but people like him, they don’t let go. They’re spoiled kids with toys. If you let him control this, he’ll drag it out forever, because it’s his last hold on you. Trust me, huh? Talk to the lawyer and he’ll help you get your feet under you.”
Jasmine turned her head to look at him, a rare moment between them when neither of them was hiding. “Do you ever wonder how things could have been?”
“Hmm?”
“If I wasn’t who I was, if we didn’t mess this all up, have you ever wondered how things might have been different?”
Finn traced the side of her hand with his thumb. “Sometimes. I see a few of our friends who settled down right out of high school and I think…fuck, what if that was us? What if we’d gotten this all right from the start? We’d be celebrating eighteen years together.”
“Probably have kids. We’d be that annoying couple who seem to have their shit together.”
“So, you really do mean what if you were different, huh?”
Jasmine cut him a chiding look before shoving his arm.
Finn scooted over and lay down beside her, staring up at the ceiling like she did, as if the popcorn texture there had suddenly become fascinating. “Do you ever regret walking out?”
He didn’t specify if he meant the first or second time. Did it really matter?
Her answer was slow coming and quiet when it did appear. “Every single day.”
Finn didn’t push anymore, letting that truth sit between them.
Maybe it was unfair, but he liked that she regretted it, that she lived with a bit of unhappiness about it.
He sure lived with enough.
And maybe mutual regret wasn’t a happy ending, but it was something.
Chapter Seven
Jasmine still hadn’t quite gotten her feet under her after Aaron’s call. She’d spoken to the friend Finn had recommended the next day, and that had helped.
She’d expected some small-town lawyer who mostly drew up wills for the locals, so she’d been shocked to discover that the man was actually a partner at a well-known law firm who only vacationed at his second house in their little town. He’d listened carefully and assured her that she didn’t need to worry. He’d handle the details.
Even with that help, Aaron’s call, the feeling of helplessness in the face of his demands, had exhausted her.
It meant that when she spotted Trent at her favorite coffee shop—again—she lacked the energy to tell him off.
It felt the same as sitting there with Aaron all over again, listening to stories she didn’t care about and watching the minutes she wasted tick by.
She’d planned to read her book at the shop, to sit back with her hot drink and take it easy in the quiet café that always smelled of espresso and cinnamon. She needed and deserved that break.
Instead, her tension drew tighter from Trent, who moved his seat closer and closer.
“Thanks,” she said and rose to her feet. “I’ve still got a few things to do. We’ll catch up later.”
He walked with her, step for step. As soon as she stepped outside, she groaned.
Her truck—which Finn had fixed—sat at an awkward angle, one tire completely flat. Just my luck.
“Well, shit,” Trent said. “These roads can be hell on tires. Lot of construction means lots of nails end up in tires.”
She let out a long breath. She really didn’t want to have to call Finn. He’d done more than enough already.
She’d happily call a tow truck and have her car hauled to a local tire place, but the only stop in town when it came to vehicles was Finn’s shop. Sooner or later, he’d be the one involved.
She settled for calling the shop’s office. At least then she could go around Finn and make sure no favors were done for her. The manager answered, agreeing to come out and haul her truck back to the shop.
“I’ll drive you,” Trent offered. “No reason to pay for a ride share. Besides, it’ll take you an hour wait at this time a day before they got here.”
Jasmine went to tell him no, but the thought of waiting there with Trent for an hour made her want to take a nap. A short drive was a far better option than that, right?
“Okay. Thanks,” she said before following him to his car. She didn’t much like sports cars, no matter how proud he seemed to be of it. She hated riding so close to the ground and worse, Trent took every chance he got to ‘show off’ what the car could do. Jasmine didn’t care for speeding around curbs or spinning the tires at green lights.
Trent made a left off the main road, and Jasmine frowned. “This isn’t the right way.”
“Oh, sorry, I just have to stop real quick at home. It’ll only take a minute.”
And Jasmine saw right through that excuse. It wasn’t very sneaky or subtle, but Trent hadn’t shown himself to be dangerous. He was full of himself and persistent, but when she’d refused to kiss him before, he’d accepted the rejection. It meant she ignored the slight unease at the deception and told herself she was being silly. People lied all the time. No reason to let paranoia get the best of her.
Trent pulled into a driveway, his place the opposite of Finn’s. Where Finn had a large, homey place full of stained woods and shades of brown, Trent had something more modern. His place was all straight, hard edges and bright blacks and whites. Instead of Finn’s gravel driveway, Trent had a perfectly even concrete one.
“Come on in. It’ll only take me a second. I just need to make sure I sent off an email.” Trent closed the door of his car, waving for Jasmine to follow.
It’ll be faster to just do it. She left her bag in the car, seeing no reason to bring anything in or get comfortable.
The inside of the house was similar to the outside. Modern. Cold. Expensive. It wasn’t a large house—in fact, it was probably half the size of Finn’s—and set up in the obvious bachelor way. Finn’s place was ready made for a family, whereas Trent’s screamed ‘man-zone.’
“See, I told you you’d like it.” Trent went toward the large window on the back wall. “The yard is nice, too. I know how much you enjoy a good outdoors space.”
Jasmine walked over beside him and had to hold in her eye roll. The back yard was nice, she supposed. It certainly said ‘money’ and ‘bachelor’.
A hot tub sat there with a small deck around it. A tall retaining wall gave the place a closed-in feeling, and there were no local, natural plants. Instead, he’d had flowers and bushes planted that made the back yard look as if it could have been anywhere. It lacked all the things that Finn’s yard had.
Worse, Trent didn’t even know that Jasmine would hate it. He didn’t know a thing about her because he hadn’t ever asked.
And she hadn’t told him.
He showed off the place, going room by room and never stopping to see if she liked any of it.
“I thought you had to check an email,” Jasmine said when he reached the kitchen again and offered her a drink.
“Right,” he said with that fake embarrassed tone. “I might have stretched the truth there. I really just wanted to get to spend a little time with you.”
“I don’t appreciate being lied to.”
“It was a white lie, that’s it. I know you like me, but it’s Finn, isn’t it?”
Jasmine was quick to deny it. “What? No. There isn’t anything between us.”
“No, I mean you don’t want to make him uncomfortable. I get it. Things can get a little weird between exes and new relationships and friends. I figured you didn’t want to upset him. Makes sense. We can keep it quiet.”
That was what he thought? That she really wanted him but was afraid of making Finn jealous? Of course the arrogant jerk assumed that was the issue. It was clear in his face that he had never for one moment considered that she just didn’t like him.
“Look, Trent—” She didn’t get another word out before he rushed forward and smacked his face to hers in something so unsexy, she didn’t dare call it a kiss.
His lips were soft, she supposed, but they inspired nothing inside her as his large hand on the back of her neck pulled her against him.
This time he was aggressive, and she didn’t have the chance to turn her head away. What did he think, that if he moved fast enough, she’d forget all the reasons she might object?
It worked for Finn.
Yeah, but Trent wasn’t Finn and that became even more obvious when Trent rocked his hips forward and ground his erection against her.
Nope. That was the wakeup call she needed. She’d let this nonsense go way too far, and Trent clearly didn’t take hints well.
Jasmine shoved him backward and wiped her forearm across her mouth as if that could take away the lingering sensation of his lips against hers.
Trent narrowed his eyes. “You know you want this, too. Come on, we’ve been playing this little game for weeks.”
“What game? When did I say I wanted you? When did I tell you I was interested?”
“You didn’t tell me you weren’t. What, were you just leading me on?”
“Being nice to you isn’t leading you on. I didn’t promise you anything, and I told you I wasn’t interested.”
He let out a laugh that sent a chill up her spine. It sounded so similar to Aaron when he was angry. “You just like playing hard to get. That’s what you were missing with Finn, why you and he never made it work. You want a man who doesn’t take no, who doesn’t get scared off when you pretend like you’re not interested. You want to be chased, Jasmine, admit it.”
The theory made her ill. No, that was never what she wanted. In fact, that was the behavior that terrified her. “You are insane. I’m leaving.” She went toward the front door. She’d walk back to Finn’s if she needed to. It wasn’t that far and she would not be getting back into a car with Trent.
Trent was faster, moving himself between her and the door. “I did a lot for you, wasted a lot of time on you. I’ve been strung along by you for weeks, going to that stupid café, dropping by at Finn’s, even letting the air out of your tire so I could get you here. You aren’t really going to just walk out on me now, are you?”
“You gave me the flat tire?”
He crossed his arms as if that wasn’t the most despicable thing she’d heard in a long time. “Don’t act like that. The tire is fine and it isn’t like Finn will charge you for it.”
“Don’t act like what? It’s shady and manipulative and disgusting.”
“Right, you’re the one wronged here when you’ve been a cock tease.”
“Fuck you,” she muttered as she went to pass him. There was no talking to some people, no explaining to them why they were horrible excuses for humanity. No point in wasting her time to try it. She might have been fooled by Aaron before, but she knew better now.
Except Trent moved again, blocking her path. He reached for her, and Jasmine’s fear kicked in.
She still remembered the one time that her stepfather had struck her, the time she’d sworn it would never happen again, that she’d never allow another man to do that to her. When Trent grabbed her arm, his grip tight, she’d had enough.
She curled her fingers into a fist and swung. She nailed Trent in the jaw, and when he stumbled, surprised, she didn’t give him a moment to recover.
She took off at a run, down his driveway even when he called her name.
She had one safe place where she always ran, one place she always thought of when things went wrong.
It didn’t matter what else happened—Trent had reminded her of one thing.
Finn was home.
Chapter Eight
Finn frowned at the knocking on the front door. He hadn’t heard Jasmine’s truck, and he wasn’t expecting anyone else.
He pulled open the door to find Jasmine there, but no car.
She moved past him, her steps full of nervous energy even as she panted, as though she’d been running.
“You okay, sunshine?”
He grasped her arm, but when she winced and yanked, he released her immediately.
Another panic attack?
No, not exactly. He’d witnessed enough of those to identify them, and this was different.
Since he couldn’t figure it out, Finn stood back and watched her.
“You keep asking me why I married Aaron.”
Quite the subject change. “And you never tell me.”
“We got married in Vegas on July sixteenth five years ago.” She turned and faced him, staring as if that was supposed to mean something.
He frowned as he tried to work it out. Five years ago? That was—
It hit him.
“That’s two days after your stepfather’s funeral. Two days after you ran out on me.”
Her steps were sharp as she went back to pacing. “It would have been the next day, but flights are sometimes hard to get.”
“Did you cheat on him with me?” A sickness in his stomach at the idea he tried to ignore. Even though her running out—again—had always hurt, if she’d been cheating with him, it would have sullied what he still considered a good memory.
“No,” she admitted softly. “I broke things off with Aaron before the funeral. He’d asked me to marry him and I’d told him no.”
“What changed?”
“You.”
Finn tried to make sense of her words but, damn it, they didn’t make any. “What did I do?”
Jasmine turned toward him finally, fully, and pointed her finger at him. “I loved you, damn it! It didn’t matter how long I spent running from it, it never went away. And when I was lying there next to you afterward, you were asleep and I was just staring at you and I realized I always fucking would love you.” She stopped speaking, as if that made any of it clear.
“So, you realize you love me, and you run off and marry someone else? What sort of ass-backwards sense does that make?”
“Because I knew I’d never love him, not like that.”
Finn rubbed at his temples, his head hurting from the gymnastics he had to do to understand Jasmine. “I’m not as smart as you are, so give me a little help here, because I am still not seeing how any of this connects.”
“I watched my mom put up with my stepdad for years. She loved him so damned much that she let it destroy her, let it almost destroy me.”
It fell into place, but still didn’t make him feel a bit better. Instead, that sickness to his stomach increased.
“You think if you love someone, if you settle down, if you stay, you’re going to end up like her?”
“Love destroys,” she said, a quiver to her voice. “I’ve seen it. I figured the first time I ran from you that the feeling would go away. Then I saw you at the funeral, and afterward, I realized it never would.”
“And you married him because you thought a loveless marriage was safer than falling for me, huh?”
He sighed at the stupid logic she’d knotted up to come to that conclusion. Still, he could see it all, the steps it took to get there.
Her mother had been obsessed with her stepfather. It hadn’t been love, but what did Jasmine know about love when that was her only example of it? Of course she’d be terrified by it.
“Your mom was destroyed by a shitty man, Jas, a man who did even more damage than I guess I realized. I can stand here and tell you that things get better, that love isn’t the dangerous thing you think it is, but what’s the point? I don’t know what you want from me. I don’t think I’ve ever really known.”
She walked up to him, steps quick and sure even as her face held more confusion than he’d ever seen on it. Jasmine slid her hands up his chest and laced her fingers behind his neck. “I need you to love me,” she whispered.
“You know I do. Always have.”
“Then show me, just for tonight.” Her green eyes were bright, open and honest. She looked at him without hiding a damn thing, and her request sounded like a plea, like she needed nothing more than that.
And what a thing to ask. It was what he knew he could never say no to, especially when she asked him with that desire, when she held nothing back from him.
So Finn did what he’d always done, what he was afraid he’d always do. He leaned down, grasped Jasmine’s thighs and wrapped them around his waist while his lips found hers, then headed toward his bedroom.
He’d finally have her, and even if it was just that once, he hoped it would be worth the cost.
Chapter Nine
