by Tia Didmon
He nuzzled her. “I won't mark you. I'll wait until we know it's safe.”
She slipped her arms around him, resting her cheek on his chest. “It doesn't matter. Lana died from the drug Jordan gave her. I will as well.”
Hunter’s grip tightened around her. “Who was Lana?”
“She’s a woman who was brought into the facility. She’d tested positive for the mating hormone and was given the same compound as me.”
“What happened?”
“Like me, she was dormant at first. They gave her a synthesized version of the mating hormone. Jordan said she was exposed to her mate and started the transformation. She died.”
“Are you sure? Did you see it?”
“No, but Jordan had no reason to lie. He never expected me to be released. He said the transformation was disturbing. Nothing disturbs Jordan so it must have been pretty bad.”
Hunter felt uneasy. Not sure he wanted the answer to the question he had to ask. “Do you know what species she was exposed to? Was she a cougar?”
“It's possible. We were working on cougar and wolf DNA at the time.”
“Shit. Do you know who her mate was.”
“I have no idea.”
“Did he explain what happened to her?”
Racheal nodded. “He said everything cracked at once. She remained human with every bone in her body broken until her heart gave out.”
“Jesus. My father was worried something like this would happen. The transformation is hard enough. The female body needs a rest period between each stage.”
Racheal looked at him closely. “There's more.”
Hunter's heart sputtered. “What could be worse than killing your mate if you claimed her?”
“Jordan didn't just give me the serum. He also poisoned me on a genetic level.”
Hunter’s cat stilled. “What does that mean?”
“I need an injection once a month or I die.”
“You have been gone almost a month now.”
“Yes. I synthesized a neutralizing compound to extend my life but it's only temporary as I don't know what he used on me.”
Hunter’s cat growled low. “We’ll figure it out, Racheal. I've waited too long and gone through too much to lose you now.”
Her fingers bunched in his shirt. “I'm sorry.”
He kissed her head. “Don't be sorry. Tell me you will fight with every breath. That you'll use that incredible brain of yours to figure this out.”
She was thinking. He could practically hear her thought process. “What did you go through?”
It was the one question he wished she hadn't asked. He couldn't lie to her and if he told the truth, he may lose her. He looked up at the ceiling. “It happened at Woodstock.”
Hunter contemplated how to tell her the truth while glossing over the more explicit details of his betrayal.
Racheal looked perplexed.
“What?” he asked.
“Woodstock, as in 1969?” she asked.
“You do know we have longer lifespans.”
“Yes, but reading it and experiencing it are two different things.”
Perhaps he could focus on the era and less on the illicit events of that time. “It was a unique time in history.”
Her eyes narrowed. “I'm interested in you in that time.”
Nope. Not getting off that easy. “I lost my way for a while,” he said honestly.
“Tell me,” she said.
He had the feeling he was being judged and one misstep would lose him his mate forever. He cursed his idiocy. “I met Lilith a few weeks before Woodstock.”
“How did you meet her?”
Shit. “A party,” he said.
“Considering the era. Would that be a party that ended in something close to an orgy?”
Hunter rubbed his neck. “Yes.”
“I see. Go on,” she said, her tone frosty.
“She was with another man and asked me to join them, I did, we hit it off and were together from that moment on. She was fun, affectionate and had an unusual sense of humor.” He could see he wasn't winning any points with his mate by being truthful about Lilith.
“What did she do to hurt you?”
“That's the problem. She was honest. She didn't promise me a future or plan one. She lived life for the moment with no thought of tomorrow. I found her refreshing. But my cat wanted no part of her.”
“Why didn't your cat like her?”
“It isn't that he hated her. He had no interest in her. She wasn't his mate.”
Racheal frowned. “I don't understand.”
“No different than humans. We need time to mature. While we can have sex with a woman prior to mating, our animal looks at this as learning. No different than learning to hunt. This socialization is meant to be short term. The knowledge learned to be applied to pleasing one’s mate.”
She pulled back from him. “Your cat allows you to have sex so you can learn to be a better lover?”
“Yes. It also allows us to fight so we can learn to protect our mate.”
“Who did you fight?” she asked.
“My brothers mostly. There have been humans that have needed to be set straight but shifters avoid fighting humans if possible.”
Racheal looked surprised. “Why would you fight your family?”
“First off, we are talking about young dumb teenage cougars. We’re aggressive by nature. When you add teenage hormones into the mix things get rough. Besides, fighting each other taught us to be better. Stronger. Faster.” He smiled. “It was also a helluva lot of fun.”
“I feel for your mother.”
Hunter’s smile reached his eyes. “She's an amazing woman. I can't wait for you to meet her.”
He saw Racheal blanch. Smelled her fear. “Racheal?”
She recovered quickly. “What happened with Lilith?”
He knew he'd been diverted on purpose. He chose to let it go. “Lilith and I were together every day. When she was gone for almost an entire evening, I went looking for her.”
“Was she okay?”
“She was in bed with two men.”
Racheal pursed her lips. “Oh, no. What did she do?”
“She invited me to join them.”
“She wasn't embarrassed or ashamed?”
“No. I met her when she was with other men. She had never promised me anything. I was to blame, not her.”
“You cared for her. Maybe even loved her. I'm sure you felt betrayed,” she said.
“I did. I beat the shit out of the men, almost killing one before dragging Lilith back to our tent.”
“What did she do?”
“She wasn't mad. She said I overreacted. She forgave me but I was young and convinced she was my mate.”
“What did you do?”
“I tried to force my cat to mark her.”
Racheal pulled back further. “What happened.”
“Our animals can’t be forced to mate. My cat did the only thing it could. It disconnected from me.”
Racheal leaned forward. “Disconnected? How does that work?”
He could see her interest and was thankful for it. “Our animal has very few primal needs. Hunt. Mate. Protect. Those are the main ones. If we don't meet our animal's needs, they pull away until we do. Left too long we become unstable.”
He could see her mind working. “What happens during this disconnect? Are you aware it's happening?”
“It's nothing short of a warning. We lose our senses first. Then our urges become unstable. Then, if we don't rectify the issue, our animal loses faith and we go insane.”
“So, your cat disconnected?”
“Yes. I became violent. I was fighting with any man who looked at Lilith. She couldn't handle my outbursts and finally left me.”
Racheal’s eyes narrowed. “There's more.”
He wanted to leave it there. He hated this part. “I fucked any woman that would have me. My anger became so bad I was banned from local bars. By the
time Talen showed up, I hadn't shifted in over a month and was lit up like a Christmas candle.”
“What does that mean?”
“My eyes were amber all the time.”
“No one questioned the change in your eyes?”
“They thought I had liver disease. I was drinking as much as I was fucking. It was a rational assumption,” he said.
“How did you get straightened out?”
“My brother Talen. He showed up, took one look at me and told me I was going home.”
“You went?”
“Not willingly. He had to beat the shit out of me. My cat finally defended me when it realized Talen would kill me. Shifting that day was the start of my recovery.”
“Your brother wouldn't have killed you though, right?”
He wanted to reassure her. Still, he had to tell her the truth. “He would've had no choice. He was the enforcer at the time. I was endangering the lair as well as hurting humans for no decent reason.”
“You said he was the enforcer of your lair. He isn't anymore?”
“The enforcer is the oldest unmated male. Talen is mated with cubs on the way and the leader of our lair. His priority is to defend his family and our territory."
“The Kallans’ said you are the second oldest. Does that mean you’re the enforcer now?”
“Yes. This will be my last mission in that capacity.”
She sucked in a breath. “You can't mate me.”
“I understand your reluctance. I betrayed you...”
Racheal put her hand on his chest. “You didn't betray me. You fell in love with the wrong person. It happens to everyone. You can't mate me because I will die. All the research I have says if your cat becomes attached to me you will die shortly after me. I want you to have a life.”
His cat surged, letting him know it would follow her in death if necessary. He had told her his darkest secret - his ultimate betrayal of her and his family. She cared only about his future. He did something he should have done years before. He thanked his stubborn cat. It had waited for her. Even if they only had a few weeks. A few days. She was worth it. “There is no me without you, Racheal. You were made for me. Even if I never mark you. You are mine and I won't live long in this world without you in it.”
She closed her eyes. “No,” she croaked.
He kissed her eyes and her cheek. The salty taste of her tears tickled his lips. “Be with me, Racheal. If it's just tonight. So be it. Be with your mate.”
She circled his neck. “Yes.”
Chapter 4
Racheal's fingers bunched in Hunter's hair. He kissed her neck and nibbled her earlobe, driving every sane thought from her head. She wouldn't allow him to be the latest victim of the Kallans'.
His hands cupped her breast, massaging the tender globes, causing her to moan into his mouth. He expertly unclipped her bra, before returning to pinch her sensitive nipples. She felt her juices flow.
She wasn't sure if she should stop him, fearing their union would make it harder to break the bond or encourage him to go faster. The pleasure mounting in her core bordered on pain and she knew he was the only one who could stop it.
He pulled his head up, looking at her with amber eyes. “Tell me you want me. Tell your mate to make love to you.”
She couldn't look away from the hunger in his eyes. “I want you.”
He growled low. “Tell me you want me to lick your pussy until you come in my mouth. That you want my cock deep inside you, fucking you until you shout my name.”
Why were his words so dirty and sexy at the same time? What woman could refuse him? What woman would want to?
His hands slipped down her jeans, circling her clit, driving the flames further. He held her on the edge.
As she was about to come, he pulled her fingers away. “No!”
“Tell me,” he persisted.
“Fuck me. Lick me. Do something!” she cried out.
He backed her up to the couch, sitting her down so he could remove her clothing. As she sat there naked, he knelt, pushing her legs apart. She felt exposed. Embarrassed. She tried to squeeze her knees together. He growled.
The noises coming from him were scary and exhilarating. He removed his shirt, pushing her knees wide open, as he looked at her, daring her to resist. She couldn't. The cool air was a relief on the hottest part of her.
He positioned himself at her entrance, taking a cursory lick, making her tilt her head back in pleasure.
“Look at me. Watch your mate pleasure you. I don't want any doubt in your mind who you belong to.” His tongue stabbed deep into her pussy. Her juices flowed over the rough touch of his tongue. Her body melted into the insane pleasure he caused.
His erotic growls echoed against her body as he devoured her. His fingers slipped inside her, taking up a rhythmic pace that had her panting, arching off the couch, she moaned loudly when she came.
He stood and removed his jeans, stroking the broad head of his cock.
She watched the sensuous slide with fascination, leaning forward before she could stop herself. Her tongue took a tentative lick. Tasting him was a mistake. She wanted more. She grasped his shaft. He covered her fingers with his, showing her how he liked to be touched. She knew she had the rhythm right when she felt him swell in her hand. She sucked the head into her mouth, releasing him with a popping sound before doing it again.
She sucked harder. Taking him as far down her throat as she could. She wanted to taste him. All of him. She could tell he was close by the rocking of his hips. When she thought he would let go, he backed up.
“Not today my little cat. I promised I would fuck you until you scream my name. Now lay back and touch your nipples.”
She contemplated refusing him. He waited until she lay against the couch with her hands pinching her nipples before positioning himself at her entrance. He pushed his cock between her lips, parting the eager flesh, forcing her to groan.
He leaned over her, thrusting his tongue into her mouth as his cock continued its naughty massage. Her juices coated him. The slick feel of him drove her crazy.
When she thought she would go mad with lust he slowly pushed himself into her opening. The hot burn of his invasion, enflamed the fire. He paused, giving her time to adjust to his girth before inching in further. She wanted all of him. The pain overshadowed the pleasure. “More,” she croaked.
He impaled himself. Catching her gasp as he grabbed her hips, moving in her slowly before setting a steady pace. She felt the tight muscles of her pussy tighten around his steel erection. He fought for control.
Racheal didn't want control. This time she wanted freedom. No, thinking. Crazy. Out of control. She thrust against him.
“Fuck!” he growled.
He slammed into her hard. Pumping into her with such force she was sure his hands would be permanently imprinted on her hips. His tongue fucked her mouth with as much ferocity as his cock. She clutched his shoulders when she screamed his name.
Her body tightened around him, setting him off.
He held her limp form, nuzzling her ear. “Never gonna let you go, baby,” his voice purred into her ear.
Her heart squeezed at the folly of her actions. She was so focused on breaking the physical aspects of the mating bond she hadn't consider the emotional ones. “Hunter, can you let me up, please?”
He pulled back. “Did I hurt you?” he asked concerned.
“No, nothing like that. I just want to clean up.” She stuck to a partial truth, knowing she couldn't lie.
His eyes squinted. “I’ll get you a warm towel. Hold on.”
He was such an amazing man. She had to find a way to save him. The guilt of her actions left a bitter taste in her mouth.
He returned, wiping her gently, reinforcing her need to save him.
“Hunter. You said Devon was shot with the serum developed for Sarah. You said it had a side effect but didn't break the bond. What was it?”
Hunter's eyes scrunched. He looked suspicious.
“Devon had the ability to read other’s emotions. The serum halted that ability.”
“It had no effect on their mating bond?”
“No. They both say the bond is still in place, but hope you may be able to help them get the emotional bond back.”
“I didn't know cougars had that ability. I was told it was strictly a coyote trait.”
“It is. My mother was raped by a coyote when pregnant with Devon. The coyote bit her,” Hunter said.
“I'm sorry.”
He continued to wipe her skin, taking pride in his work, paying close attention to detail. The towel skimmed under her breast. “That would suggest that the characteristics of the individual species are contained within the mating hormone itself.”
He continued his task. “I don't understand what you’re saying.”
Racheal shook her head. “It's nothing. Just thinking out loud. I have a hard time shutting down sometimes.” Everything she said was the truth. Her mind was in overdrive. If she could get her hands on the serum designed for Sarah she could modify it to save Hunter. She just had to break into the one place she’d vowed never to return.
Hunter's cat was suspicious. Racheal hadn't lied but there was an underlying deception that had his beast concerned. He was afraid to push her. He had her where he wanted her. In his arms. He didn't want to do anything to make her shy away. He kissed her neck. “What were you like growing up?” He felt her stiffen.
“Why do you ask?”
“I want to know everything about you. I know how you met Sarah and your time as roommates but she didn't know a lot about your early years other than you being an orphan.”
“Yes. I was an orphan. Raised in group homes,” she said curtly.
Hunter nipped her ear, startling her. “I just said that. Tell me about you. The things you did as a child. Were there any people that mattered to you before Sarah?”
She sat quietly for some time. He thought she wasn't going to answer.
“I didn't have friends. I was too advanced to play with kids my age. The older ones bullied me.”
“Give me their names.”
She placed her hand on his face. “You want to beat up mean boys and girls from my childhood?”
“I'll only beat up the boys. Sarah will take care of the girls.”
