by Anne Mercier
Refrain
Rockstar Book 16
Anne Mercier
Contents
REFRAIN
AUTHOR’S NOTE
Chapter 1
Chapter 2
Chapter 3
Chapter 4
Chapter 5
Chapter 6
Chapter 7
Chapter 8
Chapter 9
Chapter 10
Chapter 11
Chapter 12
Chapter 13
Chapter 14
Chapter 15
Chapter 16
Chapter 17
Chapter 18
Chapter 19
Chapter 20
Chapter 21
Chapter 22
Chapter 23
Chapter 24
Chapter 25
Chapter 26
Chapter 27
Chapter 28
Chapter 29
Chapter 30
Chapter 31
Chapter 32
Chapter 33
Chapter 34
Chapter 35
Chapter 36
Chapter 37
Chapter 38
Chapter 39
Chapter 40
Chapter 41
Chapter 42
Chapter 43
Chapter 44
Chapter 45
Chapter 46
Chapter 47
Chapter 48
Chapter 49
Chapter 50
Chapter 51
Chapter 52
Chapter 53
Acknowledgments
Refrain Playlist - Ethan
Refrain Playlist – Linc
Other Books By Anne
About Anne
REFRAIN
Rockstar Book 16
As a child, I trusted no one.
Then I found my best friends.
They gave me a family and saved me from a life of abuse that still has me messed up.
Then one of those best friends captured my heart.
Lincoln, tough yet tender, a walking contradiction.
He loves me too—flaws and all.
He’s the most patient man on the earth and understands my PTSD.
What he doesn’t understand is why our being intimate makes me feel “dirty”.
He’s not one of the men who abused me, and he’d never hurt me. I know this. I believe it.
Still, the “dirty” creeps in even though I know what we do together is anything but.
He’s here now and he’s going to stay.
It’s time for me to talk to someone professionally.
I need to shed my unhealthy past in order to have a healthy future with the man I love.
If I don’t, I just might lose the best thing that’s ever happened to me—and there’s not enough therapy in the world to get me through that.
Copyright
Refrain
Rockstar Series Book 16
ISBN: 978-0-9984402-6-2
©2019 Anne Mercier
All Rights Reserved.
No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without written permission from the publisher, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles or reviews.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, businesses, places, events, and incidents are products of the author's imagination and are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events or locales is purely coincidental.
Cover Image: Wander Aguiar :: Photography.
Cover Design: Anne Mercier.
This book is licensed for your personal enjoyment. This book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or if it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to the seller and please purchase your own copy.
PERSONAL NOTE: The only pirate I like is Johnny Depp as Captain Jack Sparrow, which means I'd appreciate if you'd keep my books to yourself. Pirating shows a clear lack of respect for the author—me. I'd rather not meet you on bad terms, so let's not do that, let's not meet that way. Let's meet at a signing or conference instead, or let's go have a cup of coffee or a drink. Thank you for respecting the time and effort put into each book. I appreciate it very much.
AUTHOR’S NOTE
As you can see from the cover, Refrain is Ethan and Lincoln’s story (male/male romance). Refrain begins about a month after Tera and Linc get to CFD in A Very Xander Christmas 3 and Xander: Part 2. So, there will be overlap. This is why I didn’t go into too much detail in Xander: Part 2. If I did, there’d be nothing for me to write in this book as both couples journeys begin at the same time.
You’ll get to see the KQuads, Summer’s pregnancy, Tera’s pregnancy, and you’ll finally learn the name of Tera and Xander’s baby!
Be prepared… not everything is rainbows and unicorns in this book. There’s some bad and some shocking twists ahead. I mean, with the Russo Famiglia, not everyone can be safe 24/7.
I want you to know what my plan is for the rest of the series. I’ll be putting out Melody (Trace and Meggie’s story) in late September 2019, Strings (Kennedy’s story) will come out in late November 2019, and the final Xander Christmas - A Very Xander Christmas 4- will come out in December to finish out the series. Don’t worry, you’ll see them from time to time, I’m sure. And, since these Rockstars were so loud and demanded their stories told, I imagine there’ll be more books coming sometime in the future as I know their children will be just as loud: a 2nd generation series (not sure when).
Russo Famiglia is planned—unsure of dates. There will be at least three books: Giovanni, Damian, and more Cage. Possibly Bella and Nico (Ernesto’s children), and Emilio.
If ever you want to know what’s happening and when, feel free to head to my website or subscribe to my newsletter. If there’s no news in either of those places, there’s no news.
Dedication
For those who struggle daily for acceptance.
I know the struggle is real.
Stay strong.
Remain hopeful.
Disregard the ignorance.
The only opinion that matters is your own.
1
ETHAN
Social acceptance, ‘being liked,’
has so much power because it holds the feelings of loneliness at bay.
~Rollo May
I met Lincoln Ramirez on the playground at recess. We were eight. He was bigger than everyone else back then. He still is today—much bigger.
Watching him in the ring as he fights his opponent, I’m both terrified and turned on.
Linc’s back muscles ripple with each movement. Punch, jab, kick. Jesus, he’s beautiful. Every movement fluid, every connection to his opponent jarring. He fucks like that too. And that is what has me aroused, half-hard at a fight where my boyfriend is beating the hell out of his opponent. It’s impossible for the bloodshed to deter my cock from getting harder when Linc’s grunts of exertion remind me of when we’re in bed.
“Damn, that had to hurt,” Kennedy shouts beside me.
Sometimes, but in the best ways.
“His fists are bigger than my head!” Lucy exaggerates.
You should see his dick. I smirk at the thought.
“He’s kicking that fucker’s ass!” Jesse shouts, then lets out a cheer.
Fucking… ass… yes, please.
I wince when Linc gets a leg to the midsection. He doesn’t even flinch. He grabs the guy’s ankle and twists. His opponent falls to the floor, his expres
sion one of agony.
Xander yells. “That kick would’ve had me puking up my guts.”
“All of us,” I reply.
“No lie. Just look at him. He’s a fucking beast!”
I look at Xander and think, “You have no idea.” But I say nothing. My gaze immediately goes back to the fighters in the ring. Just in time, too. Linc’s got the guy in some kind of submission hold, still with the ankle.
“Fucking hell,” I murmur.
“He’s gonna tap out!” Ben shouts. “He’s gonna tap!”
“Linc won’t like it,” Jesse replies. “He likes to knock the fuckers out.”
“It’s a win,” Kennedy replies. “He’ll take it.”
I nod. “He’ll take it, but he won’t call it a win.”
Just as Ben predicted, the fucker taps out.
They announce Linc as the winner, he twirls once, arms outstretched, but when he stops, his eyes land on me and never move. Not while he’s being interviewed. Not while the cameras are going off. Not while they put his robe back over his shoulders.
Those eyes are going to be on me all night.
I shiver thinking of all the ways he’ll take me, and I’ll take him.
It’s going to be a long night.
I can’t wait.
We’re barely in the door when Linc pushes me against the wall and ravages my mouth. His tongue tangling with mine, his hands roaming over my body, his touch igniting a fire within.
He pulls back and looks at me, those grey-green eyes locked on mine.
“Take off your clothes, Ethan.”
Holy shit. His voice, deep and raspy, sends shivers of anticipation down my spine.
Apparently, I’m not removing my clothes fast enough because Linc takes over, his impatience clear when he rips my shirt as he pulls it over my head.
“Not fast enough for you?” I tease.
“You should be naked already,” he answers, then yanks my jeans down my legs.
“You’re so demanding.”
Those eyes meet mine again. “And you love it.”
I can’t deny it. I do. I love it. I revel in it, his attention, his need for me.
“Fucking shoes,” he curses when he pulls my chucks off and throws them over his shoulder.
When I’m naked, he leans forward and runs his nose along my thigh, inhaling, breathing me in.
It’s no time at all before he takes my hard cock into his mouth. There’s nothing gentle about it. He takes me deep and, Jesus, the feel of his mouth is insanity. Tight, wet, and hot; wrapped around my dick and sucking me to a state of bliss within minutes.
I won’t come. Not yet. I try my damnedest to hold back, my thigh muscles tightening and my legs shaking as I lean back against the wall.
I let out a long, loud groan when he runs his fingers up the back of my thighs, around the front to cup my balls in his hands.
“You’re so close. Why don’t you come for me, Ethan?” he coaxes.
I shake my head. “Not yet.”
“Yes. Now,” he demands, doubling his efforts.
When he touches my stomach, raking his nails over the sensitive flesh, my breath catches. He knows how much I love that, how it drives me wild, and he does it again.
“You’re not playing fair,” I pant, holding the sides of his face.
“I’m not playing at all.”
The intensity in his expression, the commanding tone of his voice gets me hotter, closer to the edge.
When my cock touches the back of his throat, I can’t hold back a moan. He takes me deep, over and over until I have no choice. I relax and give in to the inevitable. Pleasure. Pure and carnal. His mouth: Sinful.
I warn him, but he ignores it.
Another rake of those nails on my abdomen and I let go. Ecstasy overtakes my body as I come into his waiting mouth, down the back of his throat as he swallows everything I have to give to him.
A half-shout escapes and if it weren’t for Linc holding me up, I’d be on my knees. The pleasure so intense it steals my breath.
He lifts me effortlessly and carries me to the bed. Setting me down then all-but ripping his clothes off.
Since we decided to be exclusive years ago, we haven’t used condoms. We do get tested, though. Just because. You never know.
He climbs onto the bed, sitting against the headboard, his cock standing at attention.
I take in the artwork covering his dark skin. His muscles. His body. He’s beautiful. Rugged. Inviting.
I don’t ask, I just lean forward and lick his dick before swallowing as much of it as I can. His fingers thread through my hair and he tugs.
“Ethan,” he breathes huskily.
I keep pleasuring him, touching him, my hands everywhere on his body I can touch. The ripple of his muscles beneath my fingertips lets me know he’s enjoying every single caress.
“You need to stop, Ethan. I want to fuck you.”
I let his hard cock slip free, a groan falling from his mouth at the same time.
I climb up and straddle his lap. His fingers covered in lubricant make their way around my body to my ass. I brace for the cold gel. It warms quickly with the heat of Linc’s hand. He dips a finger inside, then another. I let out a groan and my half-hard cock stiffens the rest of the way.
“Lincoln,” I breathe as he fingers my ass, preparing me for him.
“I need you, Ethan.”
I hold his gaze as I reach behind me, my cock falling against his rapidly rising and falling torso. I guide him to my puckered hole, holding him there as I lower slowly onto his dick.
The first burn of entrance always a mix of pleasure and pain, something I cherish with him and him alone.
He watches my face, my expression. I knew tonight those eyes would never leave me.
When he slips past the resistance, I groan with him as I push down and he pushes up, entering me slowly, thoroughly—making me his as he always does.
“Ethan,” he breathes again, his forehead resting against mine, his eyes closing for just a second as he collects himself. This. Always this gives me everything I need so I know he treasures these moments as much as I do.
I kiss that pouty mouth. He guides me up and down on his shaft, and it’s not long before I’m moaning again.
Lincoln puts some gel in his hand, letting it warm before wrapping his hand around my cock, stroking me with mirrored motion of me fucking him.
“It feels so good,” he whispers before taking my mouth in another one of those ravaging kisses, but slowing down after a minute, turning fucking into something so much more.
He lifts his hips and starts pumping to meet me in the middle, taking me harder and deeper, all the while his hand gripping my cock tight, stroking and massaging my cock, taking me closer and closer to paradise.
A bit of precum leaks from my cock and Linc massages it in, using it as more lube, keeping everything slick and delicious.
“Ethan, I need to come. I want to come in that tight ass of yours. Come with me,” he urges, watching me.
I nod, and increase the tempo, before long we’re both groaning and coming. I feel his hot semen inside of me while mine covers both of our bellies.
He pulls me to him, holding me while still inside of me, when we both finish.
“Jesus, Ethan.”
“Yeah,” is all I can manage through my puffs of breath. “We’re going to be stuck together if I don’t move.”
He chuckles. “We’re already stuck together.”
I sigh inwardly. He is a dream. Everything I’ve ever wanted. Everything I’ll ever need.
“Lucky me.”
“No, lucky me.” He slightly pushes me back and I look at that gorgeous face. “I love you, Ethan.”
My heart skips a beat. Every single time he tells me that, my heart gets fuller.
“I love you too, Lincoln.”
He winks and smiles. He is sinfully beautiful.
“Let’s go shower, babe,” he tells me with a smack to my ass.
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I smirk and wink back.
He’s perfect and he makes me believe I can be perfect too.
2
ETHAN
“HOW DID YOU ENJOY the fight?” Joan asks.
“It was intense as always. Linc wasn’t happy with the outcome,” I admit.
“No knock out, huh?” she deduces.
“No. Tap out. He hates a tap out.”
She winces. “Ouch. He should count that as a win. It is a win after all.”
“He’s hard on himself.”
“Sounds like someone else I know.”
I sigh, lean forward and rest my elbows on my knees.
“I love him. I know he loves me. Why is it so hard for me to let go of all that bullshit from the past so we can just love each other any way we want to?” I question.
“How do you mean?”
“You know. Any way we want to. Any position. Any tempo. Any way he wants to fuck me,” I tell her softly. I’ve been seeing Joan for a year. I started when Lincoln and Tera told me they were coming to live with us in CFD, that Tera was working hard to overcome her PTSD so we could be a family again.
