by Anne Mercier
“Uh huh,” Linc says.
She gives him a look. “I am eight months pregnant, you know.”
“Well aware, baby sister, that you’ve got a Mackenzie spawn growing in there. What if it comes out like Alien and shit?” Linc teases.
“If I knew it wouldn’t hurt you so much, I’d slap you really hard,” Tera scolds.
“I doubt I’d feel it,” Linc taunts.
“Children, children,” Mrs. M says, pushing a cart full of food and drinks.
I groan. “I can smell those enchiladas over here.”
“Enchiladas?” Tera perks up.
“Didn’t you just eat?” Linc asks.
“I’m pregnant. Shut up.”
“There’s enough for you and the baby,” Mrs. M tells her.
Tera preens, flaunting her grin at Linc who flips her off.
“I can get my own…”
Mrs. M looks over at me. “You will sit. I’ll bring you your tray. Tera can eat by the table with Kennedy.”
“Yes, ma’am.” I don’t ever disagree with Mrs. M. Arguing with her is a losing battle.
When she brings the tray over, and sets it on my lap, I reach for her, giving her a hug. “I love you, Mrs. M. Thanks for taking care of us.”
She sniffles. “Anything for my boys.”
“Thanks, Mama,” Linc tells her when she brings him a tray as well.
“I’m so angry this happened,” she starts. “I’m glad Sera and Cage will have this dealt with.”
I’m kinda surprised she’s so… okay with la Famiglia ‘taking out’ people for this. Yet, in other ways I’m not.
“It’ll be handled one way or another,” Linc assures her.
She nods. “You boys eat. I’ll come get the dishes later. If you need anything, just let me know.”
“I’ll bring the dishes down, Mrs. M,” Kennedy tells her. “I’ve got a couple things to do before I call it a night.”
She nods once and leaves the room.
“I notice no one’s turned the TV on,” I say between bites.
“You want to see yourself on there—or me—looking like death warmed over?” Linc asks.
I shake my head. “No. Just wondering if there were any good movies on.”
“You’re a shit liar. It’s all over the news, babe. Everywhere.”
I sigh. “I figured, but…”
“Headliners. That’s what we’ve become.”
“For now,” I remind him.
He nods. “I just wonder how long it’s going to take for this shit to die down. You’d think we were serial killers or mass murders with the way they’ve blow this shit out of proportion.”
Kennedy looks on. “In the next day or two, someone will do something fucked up and they’ll be the headliners. Just ignore the shitshow for now.”
Linc nods.
“That sounds like a damn good plan.”
33
ETHAN
When we’re finally alone, I look to Linc.
“How am I going to explain this,” I wave a hand over my body, “to Kadi?”
Linc groans. “Damn. I never thought of that. I guess we tell her the truth. Some people out there have a problem with us and who we are, so they attacked us.”
I blink.
“What?”
“You didn’t swear once.”
“Well, I can’t very well swear when we talk to her. I’m practicing,” Linc teases.
“You’re getting better at it.”
Linc nods. “Just not in private. Besides, I think since I’ve been here, I’ve contributed about five-hundred dollars a month to the swear jar.”
I chuckle. “You have, for sure.”
Linc turns to me. “I’ve been thinking…”
I nod.
“I don’t like you being exposed like that. If I’d been there, I could’ve helped you.”
“Knox…”
He holds up a hand. “Just hear me out.”
I nod.
“I could have helped, likely they wouldn’t have tried if I’d been there. The only reason Spyder, Reaper, and Mayhem got a jump on me is because they’re fighters.”
“And they had weapons,” I add.
“Yeah, there’s that. So, what I’m thinking… I want to stop fighting and work for Cage, Russo Security.”
Shocked. That’s what I am. My expression reflects it, no doubt. “Do you know what the means?”
He nods. “I do. I’m cool with that.”
“You’d be part of la Famiglia, babe. That’s… not something to take lightly.”
“I know. I’ve thought about it since the attacks. It seems logical…”
“And deadly. I won’t lie or even hide this part, Linc, that scares me. The thought of you…”
“And the difference between that and me in the ring isn’t much.”
“Guns. Guns are the difference,” I remind him.
He nods. “I know how to shoot. So do you.”
“The difference is, I don’t think I could live with myself if I killed someone,” I admit.
He lifts a brow, “Not even if it meant your life or theirs? If they were going to kill you? Or even me?”
I sigh. “That’s not fair.”
“None of this is fucking fair, E.”
“You’re right. It’s not. And I’d kill anyone who tried to hurt you—without hesitation.”
“That’s exactly how I feel, so why not join the security team for you guys? I’m here all the time, I’d rather travel with you than be separated.”
“Well, if you’re going to be logical about it…” I tease.
He chuckles, then holds his ribs. “Ah, fuck. Broken ribs are the worst.”
“Mine mustn’t be as bad as yours. It’s my hand, fingers, arm, and that fucking hole in my back. That’s what hurts me the worst,” I confess.
“Ribs, head, and shoulder for me. I can live with a broken arm.”
“We’ll need to talk to Cage and Giovanni Russo. This isn’t just something they let anyone join, you know? It’s fucking mafia. It’s organized crime. Jesus,” I mutter, running a through my hair.
Linc guides me slowly over to his side, wrapping his arm around my shoulders as we lie back against the pillows.
“I don’t want you getting killed,” I admit.
“I get that, E. But I don’t want anyone hurting you again. You or any of the rest of us.”
“Okay. We’ll see what they say. But if you die, I’m going to kill you.”
He chuckles lightly then kisses the top of my head. “I know, babe. I know.”
“We should try to sleep. Mrs. M will be back to check.”
“I don’t need my mama scolding me again,” Linc confesses. “I feel like I let her down when she does.”
“Me too.”
Linc goes to reach for the light.
“Can we leave it on? I’ve got a feeling this isn’t going to be a good night for me,” I admit.
“I bet not. Being grabbed from behind, that’s going to fuck with your head for a while. I’m here, E. I’m right here,” Linc reminds me.
I nod. “I know, but in dreams, that’s where the monsters hide.” And I don’t mean made up ones. These are real, live, flesh-and-blood monsters—from my childhood.
“I’ll be here to help you slay them,” Linc tells me.
“I love you.”
“I love you, too, E.”
Those words. I know he means them with everything he is. They make me feel a little less broken.
34
LINC
Ethan’s nightmares begin shortly after he fell asleep. I didn’t allow myself to sleep. I knew this would happen.
“Stop! You’re hurting me. Please don’t hurt me,” Ethan whimpers in his sleep.
Christ. This kills me. Every single fucking time. If his whore of a mother wasn’t already dead, I’d put her in a grave.
“Ow, no. Please, no more.”
I slowly rub a hand over Ethan’s face, the one pla
ce I know is safe to touch when he gets these dreams. With the way he’s thrashing, he’s got to be in severe pain with the cracked ribs.
“Ethan,” I say softly.
“No, no. Don’t do that! Please, no!” he cries, tears falling down his cheeks.
I grit my teeth. It breaks my heart to see him this way, and I’m so fucking angry at the men who took advantage of a kid whose mom was a whore and too busy on her back to look out for him.
“Ethan, baby, wake up. It’s me. It’s Linc,” I croon.
He doesn’t stop twisting.
“Ethan, wake up. It’s Linc,” I say more loudly.
He stills.
“Come on, E. All the way,” I coax. “It’s Linc.”
His eyelashes flutter, and he opens those smoky-grey eyes. He blinks away the tears and through the nightmare to reality. I run my fingers through his hair, gently, reminding him it’s safe here.
“Ethan?”
He nods once, still curled in a ball, shaking.
“Do you want some water?” I ask, turning to get some.
He reaches out. “Don’t go. Please don’t go.”
“I’m not going anywhere, baby.” I scoot down so we’re face to face, him still in the fetal position, and me not touching him.
“What do you need?” I ask.
“This. Can you hold me?” he asks, sounding like a broken child. It takes everything in me not to rage or cry. It’s a toss-up as to which emotion is stronger right now.
“Always.” I roll to my back and open my arms for him. He scoots forward, his head resting on my shoulder. I don’t wrap the arm around his back. It’s a trigger after a nightmare. Instead, I let that arm lay on the pillows, and, with the other, I hold his hand.
“It was bad. So bad, Linc,” he shivers.
“I’m going to pull the covers up, okay?” I ask. I don’t want to spook him with the weight that’s going to be on his back.
He nods.
Slowly, I cover him up to his neck, and he scoots closer into me, unraveling himself, slowly coming back to reality.
“I knew this would happen,” he tells me.
I nod. “I did too. It’s okay, E. You’re safe with me. I’m never leaving you in a situation like that again—either of them.”
“I know. I wish… I wish I was normal,” he whispers.
“You are. Don’t let what happened to you convince you otherwise. You are a victim. It sucks, but you are.”
“I hate the word victim,” he informs me, as he does every time.
I nod. “You remember it’s not your fault?”
“I do.”
“Good.”
“You can hold me tight now,” he instructs.
I wrap both arms around him and hold him tight. He still shivers, but now it’s into me, against me, sharing the fear and after-effects with me. It’s taken us a long time to get here. A long fucking time.
“Do you think we’ll ever be able to fuck like normal gay guys do?” he questions.
“Who decides what’s normal?”
He grunts. “I want, so badly, for you to top me, wrap yourself around me, until it’s just me and you, and I’m able to give you everything I am.”
“Baby,” I say, tilting his face to mine. “You already do. This, right here, is you giving me everything. A sex position doesn’t define that. We do.”
He nods, a tear slipping.
“I love you, Ethan. It’s fierce, it’s all-consuming, and it’s forever.”
“Babe,” he says softly.
When he stops shaking, he scoots up and closer, nearly on top of me.
He looks into my eyes, searching. I’m not sure what for.
“I want to ask you…” he begins.
I nod, waiting.
“I was thinking. Since Summer and Jace ditched their wedding, maybe we could take their place?”
I sit up straight and pull him with me.
“What are you saying?” Christ, I’ve been wanting to ask him forever.
“Do you want to get married… to me?” He seems uncertain, and I don’t understand why.
“Fuck yeah,” I answer. “I’ve been trying to work out a way to ask you.”
He smiles big. “Yeah?”
I nod. “Hell fucking yeah. It won’t change anything that we already are, it’ll just be legal.”
He nods.
“Hold up,” I tell him. I walk over to the closet and reach into the pocket of one of my suits—which I never wear—and pull out a small box.
“No way,” Ethan says.
I lift my brows. “What?”
Ethan walks to his side of the closet and pulls out a box of his own.
“Well, hell,” I mutter. “Bart?”
Ethan nods.
“You don’t think he’d let us fuck it up, do you?” I ask.
Ethan laughs. “No way.”
He hands me his box and I hand him mine. We both open them at the same time. I chuckle and Ethan grins.
“Matching rings. That Bart is a genius,” Ethan announces.
I nod.
I take the ring from Ethan’s hand and slide it onto his finger. He holds his breath.
“Breathe,” I remind him.
“It’s just… this is the moment.”
I nod.
He places the other ring onto my finger, and we hold hands, looking at the matching rings.
“Are we supposed to wear them now? Or wait for the ceremony?” he asks.
“I don’t fucking care. I’m wearing mine now. Chicks get engagement rings, these are ours,” I tell him.
“We get two rings like chicks?” he asks.
I chuckle. “Anything you want, baby.”
He leans into me, pulling me into a hug, and I hug him back.
“When we’re feeling better, I’m going to fuck the shit out of you,” he tells me.
“Don’t get me hard, baby. I’m in no shape to do anything about it,” I remind him.
“Neither am I,” he jokes.
Before we move, he gently squeezes my hand. “I’m going to ask Joan if she can stop by tomorrow. I’d like you to be there.”
“Always. Anything you need. You know that,” I remind him.
He nods.
“You’ve come so far, E. So fucking far. Thank you for trusting me.”
He looks at me, confused. “There’s no one I trust more.”
And that, right there, makes me love him even more.
35
CAGE
I wake up to Fee’s mouth wrapped around my dick. Hell of a way to wake up.
“Fee,” I whisper.
“Mmm,” she hums. “Took you long enough to wake up.”
I chuckle and pull her up, position my cock, and she slides down onto it.
“It was a long day yesterday.”
“Well, let’s just get yesterday out of your mind.”
She starts to move, slowly, leaning forward, kissing me awake with her mouth and pussy. This woman. Jesus. She’s heaven.
I groan when she leans back, taking me deeper into her. Her pussy is like a hot, tight, velvety fist made specifically for me.
Her hair’s tied up into a messy bun, but she unravels it so it falls down the length of her back.
“Fee, you’re beautiful.”
Her eyes meet mine. The passion, desire, want, and need in hers make me feel like a king.
“Cage…”
“Mmm?”
“I really, really want a baby.”
I nearly come. Nearly.
“Fee, you’re going to make me come…”
“Good, because I’m there.” She moans loudly, her warm walls clenching around my cock, and pulling my orgasm from me. I come hard, lifting my hips and pulling her down to grind against her, filling her full of my cum, hoping like hell it’s time for those little swimmers to find a home in her egg.
Jesus. I’m so … off lately. My mind, my moods, my emotions are erratic. I don’t like it.
“Holy s
mokes, husband,” she coos, falling down atop me.
I stroke my fingertips up and down the length of her spine and she all but purrs.
“Fee.”
“Hmm.”
“I don’t want this to consume us, to make us unhappy or disappointed. Let’s let it happen naturally,” I ask.
She nods. “I don’t expect it to happen right away. I’ve been religiously on the shot, though you did get me knocked up in spite of that. It’s those Batman swimmers.”
I laugh.
“I love you, you know?” she tells me, looking into my eyes.
“Fee. I love you too. Forever and always.”
“Only ever you,” she answers.
After a few minutes of lounging, she hands me my phone.
“I heard it go off. I’m not exactly sure what it’s about,” she mutters.
“I have a pretty good idea. I’ll need to get in touch with Gio,” I tell her.
She nods. “Is it a good idea?”
“I don’t know, but he’s loyal.”
“Is he doing it for the right reasons? This is more than protecting loved ones,” Sera wonders.
I touch her cheek. “Let’s wait and see. I take it you’re coming along?”
She nods.
“I’d like Damian and Ernesto there, but Damian’s handling the San Diego issue and Ernesto’s working at Harmony House today,” I tell her as we pad to the shower.
“They won’t have any problem with yours and Gampy’s decision.”
I chuckle. “Gampy. I can’t imagine him ever being comfortable with that.”
Sera smirks. “I don’t think he really was, but that’s what made it so much fun.”
“You and Lucy. Hellions.”
“And now Lucy’s got a She Devil. Nana’s going over there today to try to handle that,” Sera tells me with a snicker.
“Don’t laugh too loudly,” I warn.
She pales.
I nod.
“Oh God,” she mutters.
I smirk.
“We should all ride over there together. It’d be easier and safer.”
“I’ll talk to Gio after round two,” I say huskily.
“Mmm, shower sex.”
It turned into shower sex, then counter top sex, and breakfast table sex, before we showered again.
We were late to the meeting.
