“He’ll race, but he won’t win, Kenni. He’s been lucky this season, and I’ve seen some of his tricks on the track, but Matt and I have a new mission for this race—prevent him from winning. If you press charges and testify against him in a sexual assault case, that video is the nail in his coffin. It won’t even get to trial.” Finn said, squeezing my fingers as he urged me to face my shame a second time, all in the name of revenge.
“He’s right, Kenni. You probably only have to, uh, identify Dalton and back it up with the video.”
“You’d be surprised how much can be proved with a latex mold and voice recognition software,” Finn drawled sarcastically.
“Give me a few days, okay? This is a lot for me to absorb.” My head was swimming in details.
“Just talk to the detectives, okay? You need to if Matt’s going to file charges for the blackmail,” Finn pointed out, threatening to overwhelm me.
“I get it!” I exclaimed loudly, looking back and forth between my brother and my boyfriend. I knew they only wanted the best for me, but geez. “These are major decisions, guys. I can’t process them all at once, not with race day tomorrow. Let’s table everything for next week and focus on the now.”
Both men looked at me with hard stares, muscles twitching in their jaws and hands fisted at their sides. If my life hadn’t been collapsing, I’d have found it comical. Neither was keen on being bossed around, but it was obvious they were struggling to treat me with a soft touch.
“You’re going to have to race your asses off if you’re going to win and try to stop Dalt. To do that, you’re going to bury this beef between you once and for all. Though you should be resting, you’re going to settle this on the track today. One practice race. Five laps only.” I laid down the law, hand on my hip, the other wagging my finger back and forth at them. I might have swiveled my head a few times.
Matt looked at Finn, who nodded slowly. Turning back to me, my brother dipped his chin in agreement.
“You sure you’re able to ride today, Michaels? All respect, but you look pretty torn up.” Finn peered at Matt, genuine concern in his eyes, but Matt must have missed it because he roughly shrugged him off.
“Worry about yourself. I’ll be fine.”
In retrospect, I should have been more attentive, but I was desperate to have something go my way. Having my boyfriend and my brother finally reach a truce would be a good start.
Matt and I sat on our bikes at the starting line, just the two of us. The sun was almost directly overhead, but we had time for one quick race. Our teams were going to be furious when they learned we spent the day grinding and not resting. This wasn’t just any race, though. Finally, we’d settle his beef with me, one way or another. I fumbled with the helmet in my lap as my thoughts churned. I had much to say, but I wasn’t sure how it would be received. I had to try.
“You know, Michaels, I know why you never liked me, and I get it,” I began quietly, shifting to look directly at him. “Sometimes, I still don’t like me much because of what I did. We’ve been on the same circuit for two years, but you’ve spent so much time trying to give me a dose of my own medicine, you haven’t really watched me. You haven’t noticed that I race straight and clean now. Did I get more aggressive this year? Of course. You’re hot on my heels every race, but have I ever pulled any dirty tricks to get ahead of you?”
Matt turned and looked at me, a light dawning in his eyes. I simply nodded at him once to underscore my question, then donned my helmet and started my bike. Matt shook off his daze and followed suit. I revved the engine as Kenni watched from the sidelines, the loud braap exciting me as it always did. She raised her arm, an airhorn in her hand. We were ready, salivating for the holeshot, and in a dead heat from the moment we left the starting line.
It was close, but Matt got ahead of me before the turn and executed a flawless block pass that had me drifting too close to the berm. I got started again as soon as we rounded it, but I was always on the offensive for the first fifteen minutes of the race. I followed him over a double, both of us landing perfectly on the backside of the second hill, but I got just that much farther than he did and had the right amount of momentum to jump the entire Dragon Back, a series of consecutive small bumps, that followed. Matt was forced to skim over the tops of them, slowing him down and giving me almost a full second’s lead. We raced the official twenty minutes and two laps. Just as we got down to the final turn, Matt gained on me, almost rubbing my back tire. I wobbled as we headed into the final stretch, nearly putting my bike down, but I gained control after a few anxious milliseconds. Unfortunately, with my erratic swerving, Matt went down after I forced him into a rut. I was intent on the finish line and didn’t notice he wasn’t still right behind me until I saw Kenni running in the opposite direction along the side of the track. I braked as quickly as I could, turning my bike around and coming upon Matt, who was lying in the middle of the track, his bike a broken mess atop his equally broken body, images of another terrible accident, not so different from this one, filled my vision. Kenni descended on me just as I fell to my knees to check if he was still breathing.
“Help him, Finn! Do something!” she cried as she knelt in the dirt next to me, tears streaming down her face.
“His breathing is shallow and erratic. He needs this bike off him now, but we can’t move him. Before we do anything, give me your phone, so I can call nine-one-one.”
My heart was pounding as I looked from the motionless Matt to the heartbroken, worried face of my girlfriend. If there was ever a time I needed to come through, it was now.
“Nine-one-one, what’s your emergency?” The hollow sound of the dispatcher’s voice echoed the thinness I felt in my soul. This was all my fault.
“We’re at the track on Avenue T...” The words came out in a rush, without even thinking about it. “My buddy, he’s had a crash. I forced him into a rut... I didn’t mean it... It was an accident.”
I struggled to keep my throat from closing up, the beating of my pulse throbbing in my ears as my vision tunneled. Matt had a small drop of blood forming at the corner of his mouth, and I knew that was a bad sign. I shouted it into the phone, urging the operator to send us help. I explained the scene to her, and she instructed me to not touch him until the paramedics arrived. I wanted to remove the bike, anyway, as I watched him fighting to breathe, but I was reminded I might cause him further injury. I sat next to him as Kenni held onto one of his lifeless hands, praying the first responders would arrive in time.
Thankfully, the ambulance arrived quickly, though every second was an hour to us. I held Kenni close to my side as she clung to her brother, long after the paramedics rushed him to the hospital, lights flashing and siren sounding.
“Let’s go,” I whispered into her ear when her sobs finally diminished to a soft hiccupping and sniffling.
“I want to go to the hospital,” she croaked. “I need to be with Matt.” There wasn’t anything we could do to help, but I understood her need to be close to the only family she had left. I wanted to run away, the self-loathing I’d felt after I injured Ayers coming back to me tenfold. I shuddered as the worst-case scenario flooded my mind. What if I’d just left Kenni the sole remaining person in her family?
Taking her hand, I led her to my truck, bundling her in my jacket I’d left lying on the seat, then pulling the seatbelt tightly around her. She was obviously in shock, which further compounded my guilt. I didn’t even bother to strip out of my leathers, just traded my boots for sneakers and took off for the hospital.
When we arrived at the hospital, no one could tell us anything definitive. They assured Kenni she’d be allowed in to visit her brother as soon as he was stable, but he was exhibiting symptoms of significant internal injuries, so their primary focus was keeping him alive.
“Finn... what am I going to do? He’s all I have. Plus, we were depending on one of the purses tonight. We… we’ll be homeless.”
“Don’t think about that now. Let’s focus on
Matt. I’ll help you figure out the financial issue when we have to.”
“Right, I’m getting ahead of myself. As long as he makes it through, everything else is trivial,” she replied, her words muffled as she nervously bit her fingernail.
We carried on with our vigil all day and night until the emergency doctor finally came out in the wee hours of the morning to let us know Matt’s condition. He had a punctured lung, three broken ribs, and a fractured skull. All things considered, he wasn’t in desperate shape, but according to the physician, they were still determining the extent of internal injuries. He was in a medically induced coma as they tried to relieve the pressure on his brain, but they allowed her five minutes. I paced the waiting room floor, wishing I could be with her to support her and cursing myself. I hadn’t done anything wrong, it was a freak accident, but there was no soothing my inner demons, the voices that told me I was bad and worthless—and just like my old man.
Kenni finally returned, her eyes red-rimmed and swollen, but she seemed to be a little steadier emotionally.
“They’re sending us home,” she began, her voice as irritated as her eyes. “They said they’ll monitor him today, promising to let me know the first minute anything changes or if they need my permission to make medical decisions on his behalf.”
My stomach plummeted. Matt was in serious condition, the knowledge it was my fault, on an endless loop in my head.
“Let’s go get some rest,” I said, my thoughts finally turning to the race that night. I wouldn’t leave Kenni by herself, but now I had to win, and sleep was necessary. She and Matt needed to make back the money they’d paid Simmons. Poised to win Supercross, with my main contender laid up in the hospital, I could win that purse so they could get back on their feet.
It was dawn by the time we dragged ourselves over the threshold of our hotel suite at the Rio. I all but face planted in the mattress as soon as I dropped my clothes. I didn’t have the energy for anything more. Kenny laid next to me on her side. I curled myself around her lean frame and fell fast asleep, my tired brain finally giving me a reprieve from my dark thoughts.
I was jarred awake at nine after barely three hours of sleep by the sound of my mobile phone screaming at me. I tended to be a deep sleeper, so I had the most irritating of ringtones, ensuring I’d never miss a call. The blaring emergency alert system saved my ass yet again that morning. Glancing at the screen, I swore when I saw it was Ralph calling.
“Where the hell are you?” he shouted into the phone after I picked up.
“I’m in our room. I... overslept. There was an accident last night.”
“Are you okay?” Ralph asked, immediately concerned.
“I’m fine, but Matt Michaels is in a coma. It’s my fault, Ralph.” Even I heard the anguish in my voice, which only made me feel worse. I didn’t deserve any sympathy.
“Put it out of your head, right now. You have work to do today. Get up, shower, and carb up. You’re racing tonight, and goddamn it, you’re going to win. Don’t throw it all away right at the finish line, kid.”
“I won’t. I just… I need a little time to get Kenni to the hospital. I’ll meet you back here within the hour.”
Kenni stirred next to me, sitting up and rubbing her still-swollen eyes. I looked at her, waiting for the memory of the night before to come rushing back in. It didn’t take long before her face was buried in her palms, and I was hanging up on Ralph with a promise to be at his house within an hour.
“Hey, hey...” I shushed her quietly, trying to soothe her tearless sobs. “It’s going to be okay. He’s going to make it.”
“God, I hope you’re right, Finn,” she said with a tired sigh. “I just need him to make it. If you’ll let me keep wrenching for you in the off-season, or clean your house, or I don’t know, whatever I can to earn a few bucks...”
“Slow down. I won’t let you guys become homeless or starve. Trust me, I have a plan. I’m going to win this purse tonight and make sure you guys have everything you need. For now, we need to get ready. I have to race tonight. I have no choice,” I said sternly, more insistent than I’d intended, giving her the wrong idea.
“Right, yeah, of course. I just need a shower. My kit’s... it’s...” she said softly, looking around, obviously confused.
“Your stuff is in the trailer where we left it. Your fix-it kit is in my truck, but I don’t expect you to work tonight.”
“But if you’re racing, don’t you need me?” she said, the pain in her eyes returning as she remembered her brother.
“I think Channing’s mom would be all too happy to help Melanie with the kids for a night, and he’s been vying for a way to get out of the house for the season finale. I’ll set it up while you shower, then I’ll drop you at the hospital so you can be with your brother.”
“Okay. Yes. Thank you,” she said again quietly, her mind already spinning off to worry about Matt.
Before I got in the shower, I called the hospital to find out Matt’s condition. I could only assume no news meant good news or at least not the worst news. I was transferred to the critical care unit, where I was able to speak with his nurse. As expected, there’d been no change in his condition, but they were keeping him comfortable. I hung up, allowing myself to be bolstered by the fact he wasn’t any worse.
Emerging from the suite’s bathroom, I was surprised to find Finn in the kitchen with a huge stack of pancakes. I knew he needed to give his body extra fuel for the night to come, but I worried if he ate that much in one sitting, he’d make himself sick.
“Finn, are you sure you can eat all that without going into a carb coma?”
“Oh, I’m grazing. I made this for you,” he said, pushing the plate toward me. “I know if I drop you at the hospital, you won’t even think about eating all day, so I made you my favorite protein pancakes. Fill up now. I insist.”
I took the fork he held out to me, my mouth dry as sand as I poured syrup over the tower of flapjacks.
“Could I get a glass of milk, please?” I asked, still unsure I’d be able to tolerate the dense breakfast. I would have preferred some fresh fruit.
Without a word, Finn pulled out a glass and filled it to the rim with whole milk. After a quick sip, I dug into the top layer, moaning when the flavor of coconut burst on my tongue.
“These are delicious. Where in the world did a dirt bike rider learn how to cook like this?” I asked, eagerly cutting deep into the next two layers, then stuffed a giant forkful in my mouth.
“At The House, believe it or not.” He shrugged sheepishly. “What can I say? I’m a man of many talents.”
“You mean Rylee is a woman of many talents,” I tossed back, laughing.
“Yes, that, too,” Finn said with a smile as he picked up a banana and began to peel it, giving me a wistful, closed-mouth smile through a large bite. “I’ll just add my breakfast skills to the list of things I owe the woman.”
“I owe her, too.” I acknowledged, my voice again soft. “She was right there when I needed someone and didn’t even bat an eyelash.”
“That’s Rylee. If she can help, it doesn’t matter who it is. She’s the first to jump in the line of fire.”
We were quiet as we finished our food, Finn having made a giant bowl of oatmeal after devouring the banana in three bites.
“Kenni,” Finn croaked into our silence. “I... I can’t tell you how sorry I am. It was an accident.” He moved to me and pulled me into his arms, resting his forehead against mine.
“Don’t,” I whispered, squeezing my eyes closed, trying to hold back my emotions, and not let the sting of tears overwhelm me again. “I can’t talk about this now. Not when he’s... when I don’t know...”
“Yes, I’m sorry. I was being selfish,” he admitted as he pulled back, his hands still kneading my hips. “I’ll just be five minutes in the shower, then we can leave.”
I nodded as he moved in to kiss my forehead, then turned and walked away. I moved to the sitting room, the pancakes in
my stomach slowly feeling like a giant lead ball as I waited for Finn.
As much as my brother tried to boss me around, as intractable as he could be, and as much as I complained about all that, I loved him more than I loved myself. He was my twin, my other half. He’d lorded his three-minute older status over me from the minute he understood what it meant. At the same time, he looked out for me, stood up for me, even kicked ass for me. Now, I could lose him altogether. I bowed my head, unable to do anything but plead and bargain with God for his recovery.
Finn emerged, stuffing his wallet into the pocket of his jeans and wearing a black ball cap with his red-and-purple logo pulled low over his brow. I was on my feet, reaching for his hand before he could make a sound. Tucking me under his arm, we walked out the front door together.
I led Kenni through the sliding double doors to the hospital information desk. We registered our names and were given green visitor badges, which the attendant explained was color-coded specifically for the CCU. The colors of badges rotated every hour, so any hospital personnel could tell with just a glance if you’d overstayed your hour limit.
“Wait,” Kenni interrupted as our volunteer started to give us directions to Matt’s room. “What do you mean I can only stay an hour?”
“I’m sorry, Miss. Our CCU policies are very strict. Only severely injured people are in that unit, and I’m afraid they need their rest,” she said, condescension dripping from her lips.
“He’s my brother,” Kenni whimpered, the fear creeping into her voice, making it rise and quiver. “I need to be with him. Please.”
“Is there a problem here?” A burly man in a security uniform stepped up next to Kenni’s other side, his hand resting ominously over his pepper spray.
Ride: A Driven World Novel Page 18
