by JC Hawke
Slipping from the sheets, I reach for my phone and see Maggie has texted me.
Maggie: No news this end. Have you had any luck?
I exit the message and chuck my phone to the bottom of the bed.
Shower first, then I’m fixing this mess.
Mason isn’t in bed, so I head for the stairs to look for him. I’m not surprised when I find him in his home office. It’s where he spends all his time recently.
“Hey.” I smile, moving around the desk and climbing into his lap. He buries his nose into my hair, kissing my neck. “You’re up early, Bossman. Even for you.”
“Hmm, I had to get some things sorted for the day. I have something to show you.”
“Yeah?”
He reaches forward and picks up a folder from the desk. I frown, stilling on his lap as he flips over the page and hands me the top sheet. “You can have your pick, but I think this one is perfect,” he whispers into my shoulder.
My heart rate begins to pick up. “I don’t understand; this is for sale and won’t be in my budget—ever.”
“The price is because of location, it puts you close to my office.” He squeezes my hip, watching me for a reaction.
I think he is trying to suggest this as a new studio, but that would be ridiculous because I could never afford it. “I need to find someplace for rent, Mase. This is ridiculously big, and completely out of my budget.” I laugh nervously.
“I know. Which is why I placed an offer.”
“You what?” I utter, standing and staring down at the sheet of paper in my hands.
“I’ve been looking for days. I viewed a couple, but none of them were right. Then this one came up just yesterday. Do you like it?”
I’ve been looking for days.
“Yeah, but I don’t want it.” I drop it to the desk and leave the office, making my way to the kitchen. I stand at the coffee machine on autopilot and switch it on.
I’ve been here alone the past two days, and he has been out looking at new studios?
“What do you mean you don’t want it?” he fumes, following in after me. “It’s ten times better than your old studio.”
My eyes lift to look at him.
I don’t want to argue.
I don’t want to yell.
I want to run because I know what comes next.
“I don’t want you buying me things,” I tell him, my hand shaking as I pour the coffee. “I’ve told you this so many times.”
“Fucking this again. I thought we were past this? Nina, you won’t be able to afford the start-ups on a new studio now. Let me help you.”
“No. Drop it, please. I will figure it out. I always do.”
“So, what? You’re going to mope around here all day until a studio miraculously lands in your lap?”
“I’m not moping, thank you, asshole!” You’d know if you’d been here. “Leave me alone, I’m not doing this now.”
His anger is pissing me off, and I don’t want to say something I will regret later, but the more he pushes, the more my walls go up.
“No, you’ve not been moping because you are too busy playing house with my fucking family!” he roars.
My eyes go wide, my heart thumping almost painfully in my chest, which is dumb because I knew it was coming. The nasty slap that stings with each syllable that penetrates.
“I thought you said you didn’t care that I went to Lowerwick? Why are you throwing it in my face now?”
He drops his head, his hands spread wide on the worktop. “I just want to fix this. Let me fix it!”
“I don’t need you to fix it, Mase, don’t you get it? Whilst you’ve spent days looking for a new studio, I’ve been here alone dealing with the hurt that comes with losing the one I’ve built from the ground up. I’ve been alone when you promised me I wouldn’t be again. You. You promised me that. I told myself I was being selfish, and I’ve tried to put on a brave face, but you don’t deserve it.”
Tears well in my eyes, but I blink them away. He doesn’t deserve them either. “This isn’t the Mase I know,” My eyes drop down his hunched form. “and you are not the man I thought I was falling for. He wouldn’t hurt me like you just have.”
“Nina,” he warns, his jaw ticcing as he braces himself.
“Get your shit together, Mason.”
“Where are you going?” he asks as I walk from the kitchen.
“Anywhere but here.”
I hear a bang and glass smashing as I jog up the stairs. I gather up my things and change into my tights, then slip from the penthouse.
I just want my Mase back.
The girls are both asleep when I get to their apartment half an hour later, so I let myself in with my key. I didn’t want to call and wake them, but I also didn’t want to be alone. I’ve felt alone for days. As quiet as I can, I start making the coffee, not wanting to wake them but knowing they will be up soon anyway.
“Hello?” Lucy’s voice calls out from the lounge.
I spin around, squinting as I try to make her out in the darkened room. “It’s me, babe,” I call out.
“Oh, thank god.” Megan flicks on the main lights, and we all cover our eyes. She stands with a flip-flop in her hand, shrugging when I eye it. “I thought you were a burglar.”
“And what was that going to do?” I eye the flip-flop, smiling, even though I feel like shit inside.
“What’s going on? How come you are here?” Luce asks, drawing my attention to her.
I take a deep breath in, running my hands over my face and through my hair. “I don’t even know.” My eyes start to well up and I look between the girls. “He didn’t even try to stop me from leaving,” I choke out.
Lucy pulls me into a hug. “Come on, everyone in my bed.”
The three of us climb into Lucy’s double bed, something we haven’t done in years.
We lie looking up at the ceiling, not needing to fill the silence that settles over us.
“He wants to buy me a studio,” I finally voice.
Lucy smiles sadly over at me. “That explains a lot.”
“The money bothers me, but I think it’s the fact he’s been so cold all week, saying he was busy in the office. I thought I should give him time and the benefit of the doubt with his dad being poorly, but then he said he had spent days looking for a studio. I just really needed him to be here for me, and he hasn’t been. Money was the last thing I wanted from him.”
“Do you think it’s because of Joey? I mean, the guy has had a thing for you forever. Maybe he’s pissed about that,” Megan asks.
“No. He told me it wasn’t, and I believe him.”
“Just give him space, babe. He will come around.” Lucy smiles, squeezing me tight.
“I don’t know if I want to see him at the minute. The things he says when he gets mad. I need space right now, and I will decide when I am ready to go back. Don’t go letting him in if he comes knocking.”
“You got it,” Megan agrees.
“Pancakes?” Lucy asks.
I’m deep in the kitchen cupboard when I hear my phone ringing in the front room. I woke up early and didn’t know what to do with myself, and after making myself a cup of coffee and noticing the total disorganisation of the mugs, I decided to rearrange them. It’s now late morning, and I haven’t been able to stop. The girls reluctantly left me to go to work this morning after a weekend of my tears and moaning. I don’t know how they put up with me most days.
Shimmying out of the small space, I dart to the coffee table and check my phone, finding Joey’s name lighting up the screen.
The photos.
“Hi, Joey.”
“Nina! I’m surprised I caught you. I thought you’d be busy at the studio.”
My throat grows tight as I think about the studio. “No, I had some bad news last week. The studio has been sold by the owner.”
“What? Can you still use the space, like, rent from the new owners?”
“No. The locks were changed the day it sold
.”
I still need to get my things.
“Nina, that sucks. Is there anything I can do?”
I smile at his concern. “Not in terms of my studio, but you could show me the bomb ass photos you took. I’d love to see them.”
“It’s why I was calling. Are you free today?”
I’m about to say yes when I think better of it—eyeing the mess on the kitchen floor and the state of myself in the hallway mirror.
“Not today, but I could probably make tomorrow work?”
“Brilliant, are you okay to come to me? It’s easier with the computer.”
I have a moment of doubt. I know Mase won’t like me meeting Joey, let alone somewhere private, but with the way he has been acting this week—fuck him.
“Yeah, sure, text me your address and I will come to you.”
“Will do. Thanks, Nina.”
“Bye, Joey.”
I throw my phone to the counter and eye the mess on the floor, wondering why I even started in the first place. The girls would give me crap if I left it like this now. Begrudgingly, I finish the cupboards, wiping them down and putting everything away again. I shower and check my phone for any alerts on new premises and then climb back into bed. The thought of doing anything else seems utterly exhausting.
“I spoke to Elliot earlier. Mason wasn’t in the office today, and he asked me if I knew what was up,” Lucy tells me as she opens her kitchen cupboards in amazement. “This is incredible. You colour coordinated our tins?”
“I had lots of spare time.” I shrug.
“You’re acting mopey. Tomorrow you need to get out, go to the gym or something.”
“You spoke to Elliot?” I divert the conversation from me, arching a brow at her in question.
“Yes, Elliot. My friend Elliot who is just that, a friend. Is that okay?” She starts to get jerky as her annoyance rises.
“Absolutely.” I grin at her from where I’m sitting on the counter.
“You look like a psycho when you smile like that.”
I start to giggle. “I feel like a psycho today. Honestly, I don’t think I have cried so much in my life. Not even as much as that day Mum left me in that park when I was six.” I shake my head at the memory. “This week has been a hyper wave of emotions.”
“Have you heard anything from him?”
“Nope. Not even a text.” I jab my tongue in the side of my cheek, trying to think about anything else. How did I get him so wrong?
“What is up with him? Why make a fuss of chasing you down to act like a player now. He asked you to move in, not the other way around.”
“I don’t—”
The doorbell rings, cutting me off. “Hold that thought.” Lucy skirts off around the corner, and a few minutes later Mason appears in the doorway. My heart grows heavy in my chest. Lucy stands at his back, and I give her the stink eye as she squeezes past him.
“I’m just going to go take a shower or something,” she says, heading down the corridor.
His eyes cut into me. They are full of so many questions, yet neither of us speak.
“Why are you here?” I ask after a beat.
He steps farther into the room, coming to stand in front of me. “I need to speak to you.”
“You could have called,” I snap, harsher than I intended.
His eyes lock on mine as his hand comes up to smooth my hair. I itch to lean into his touch, but I don’t, staring back at him with absolutely nothing in my eyes.
“Maybe I needed to see you,” he tells me.
“Yeah? Maybe I needed you too, Mase, and maybe you were nowhere to be found.”
“I know.” He drops his head, his voice full of remorse. “I am so sorry, Nina, I just needed to fix it. You were so upset about the studio.”
“When you get mad you use your words to hurt me. I won’t stand for it.”
“I know.”
“Do you? You keep saying you know Mason, but do you?”
“Yes, would I be here now if I didn’t?” He picks up my hand, inching closer. “Come home.”
I want to. God, I would give anything for the warmth of his body wrapped around me, but if I let him off now when he can so easily slash me with his words, then I will live a life full of it, and I won’t allow that for myself.
“No.”
“Nina—”
“I will come home, you don’t have to worry about that. Go to work, carry on as normal. When I’m ready, I will be home.”
“When will that be?” He frowns.
“I have a studio to find and a showcase to win.” I shrug.
I’m not for sale.
“You’ll never let me help you, will you?”
“You have no idea what it took for me to allow myself to live with you.” I think about how easy it was for him to get me to move in. “But that guy. The man who took me to Paris and allowed me to decide for myself. That guy can be pretty damn perfect.”
“Come home,” he begs.
I shake my head, and his nostrils flare.
“I used to enjoy winding you up. I would tell Vinny how fun it was, but now? Now I tread the line so careful, afraid of the damage you will do to us with your words.”
“Nina, this is ridiculous; just come home. What’s the point of waiting a couple of days?”
“Mase, you aren’t the man I met six weeks ago. It’s been a crazy few weeks. Take some time for yourself, go and see your family.” I drop my head to the side, smiling. “I have so much in my own life I need to fix right now, and you should do the same.” I bring my hand up and smooth it down his chest. “We can wait.”
“You drive me insane,” he huffs, capturing my hand in his.
Hope blooms in my chest. “Good, I want your insanity back. You disappeared on me for a few days.”
He swallows thickly and takes a deep breath in. “Promise me you will come back to me.”
My lips twist up in a smile. “I promise.”
26
Mase
I barely slept last night—the need to go and get her and bring her back to my bed driving me crazy. I wonder how I ever managed before her.
She is the most stubborn woman I know, and I need to sort myself out if I want to get her back.
I run my hand down over my face and lift the phone from the cradle. I dial the number to the estate.
“Hello?”
“Scar, it’s me.”
“Hello, big brother,” she sings down the phone. I can hear the smile in her voice.
“Is Dad there?”
“Uh, yeah, just a minute. Dad,” she shouts. “It’s Mason.”
I get the image of the two of them in the house, and my hand clenches tight around the phone. My intention wasn’t ever to abandon them, and it fucks me up inside to think that I have.
“Son?” My dad’s gritty voice comes down the line.
“Yeah, I’m here, Dad. How are you?”
“Good. Really good, actually.”
“I presume you haven’t heard anything yet, from the doctor?” This shouldn’t be so awkward.
“No, not yet. But I did have a visitor this week.”
I drop my head, my lips turning up just slightly. “Yeah, she said she came out.”
“You should come with her next time. I shouldn’t be the one showing her the estate.”
He’s right. As much as I hate being there, I hate the idea of not showing Nina myself more.
Is that why it bothered me so much?
“I carved out some time,” I tell him. “you said you had some things to put into place. Do I need to get anyone else in?”
“Emanuel.”
“Right.” Emanuel is our solicitor, and there’s only one reason he would want to meet with him. “I have three weeks today? I will have to see when he is free.”
“That will be great. Thank you, Mason.”
I roll my lips, unsure if I want what I am asking. “Bring Scarlet, we can go for something to eat after.” He is quiet for a moment, a
nd I don’t know if he has heard me. “Dad?”
“Three weeks today, I’ve pencilled you in.”
I snicker, knowing he doesn’t have fuck all on three weeks from today.
“See you then, son.”
“Bye, Dad.”
Nina
I’m in awe as I sit flipping through the photos in front of me. Shot after shot of me dancing in the studio. They seem so much more important now—memories I can look back on and cherish.
“Joey, these are beautiful. You have captured it perfectly.”
“It’s all you; you’re a dream to photograph.” He bumps me with his shoulder and I chuckle at his excitement.
“I want to buy some of these, is that possible?”
“Yes, although I will only accept lunch as payment.” He winks.
“Joey, I can’t. Mason—”
“You can’t have lunch with a friend?”
“No, I can, I just… I don’t want to lead you on.”
“You’ve made it very clear, Nina. Lunch? As friends. You can have a copy of the lot.” He pops a thick brow in question.
“Sold.” I grin. “I’d be a fool not to.”
“Good! I can’t do lunch today, but I am free tomorrow?” he tells me.
“As much as I want to, I need to get serious and start looking for a place to rent. I’ve been putting it off because I miss the studio so much. I know it’s only been a few days, but I need to move on.”
“I’d say that’s normal.”
“Can I call you next week? Arrange something for then?”
“Sure, but I am holding the pictures hostage until I get my lunch date.”
“Not a date,” I remind him.
He holds up his hands. “Not a date.”
I’m just pulling on my gym tights when Scarlet calls. I’ve had a manic morning meeting with Joey and then coffee with Maggie to look at a potential studio. I’m excited to view it tomorrow.
“Hey, Scar.”
“Hey girl, what are you up to? I feel like we should be unemployed losers together these days.”
I chuckle down the phone. “Speak for yourself. Did you get the forms from the university yet?”
