“All right. Birthday rule: there’s to be no cryin’ while it’s still my birthday. Everybody got that?” I say.
“Hmm. Bossy. Sounds like the old Evvie’s comin’ back,” R. J. says with a wink.
“I ain’t cryin’,” Mama argues. “But that was a beautiful wish.” She sniffles a little. “Too bad it won’t come true, cuz you said it out loud!”
We laugh and start jabberin’ all at once. Mostly about the cake, which is the best thing I’ve tasted in ages. I’m keepin’ my eye on folks goin’ for seconds to make sure I have some leftovers for tomorrow. Then I notice Anne Marie and R. J. exchange glances. They are not subtle at all.
R. J. brings in a box from the living room. It’s not that big, but I can’t imagine how I would’ve missed seeing it. It’s wrapped in beautiful shimmery purple-and-silver paper. Purple-silver. Huh.
I open it carefully, cuz the wrap is so pretty. I expect them to rush me, but nobody does. I remove the last of the paper and look at the box. And for a second, I ask myself am I havin’ a dream-vision again?
“Do you like it?” Anne Marie asks cautiously.
This ain’t a dream. This is real. I’m holding my very own Tasco-brand telescope in my hands. Something I never thought I’d do.
“When—? How did you—?” I can’t make sentences.
“We went in on it together,” R. J. explains.
“But I never told you— How did you even know?”
Anne Marie presses her lips together for a second. “Well, you’re the only person I’ve ever met who can identify the Seven Sisters in the sky like it’s the moon or somethin’. And—well—somebody else mighta asked me a while back if I’d like to chip in,” she finishes.
Clay. He was thinkin’ about my birthday long before I was.
“I hope we got a good one,” R. J. says.
I hug both of them.
“Thank you,” I say through tears, wonderin’ if I deserve to be loved this much.
“Evvie, no! You said no cryin’ at your birfday,” Doralene reminds me.
I release my friends and wipe my eyes. “You’re right. No cryin’, dammit!” I laugh. They laugh too, and Mama puts her arm around me.
“Is Evvie allowed to cuss now?” Coralene asks.
We try to get back to normal. While the others chat, I read every word on the box before opening it.
“Mama?”
“What?”
“Is Evvie allowed to cuss now?”
“Only on her birthday.”
* * *
It’s late. I’m in the backyard on a blanket, usin’ my new telescope. It’s amazing how much more I can see with it. On a clearer night, I might be able to discover somethin’. I heard that sometimes amateur astronomers have discovered comets. Just lookin’ around up there. I doubt I will, but you never know.
Seein’ so much more detail, I know I need some new books on astronomy to put this treasure to good use. Think I’m gonna ask Mrs. Woodley if she could order some new astronomy books for the library. Worst she can say is no.
I set it down to give my arms a rest. I was too eager to get it outside, so I haven’t figured out how to set up its stand yet. I close my eyes and enjoy the night breeze.
Thank you for my birthday gift, I say. I open my eyes. It’s the first time that I’ve allowed myself to speak to Clay. It was too painful before. But tonight it feels okay.
I miss you so much.
When I see you in dreams, it’s like you’re still here, but we both know you’re gone.
What’s real weird is that lately I feel like you’re even more present. Like you’re lyin’ beside me right now even though I know you’re not. And the weirdest part is, it don’t make me feel sad. That’s strange, ain’t it?
The breeze blows a little harder. The kitchen light is out. Mama must’ve gone to bed.
Anyway. I’m startin’ to feel less alone now.
I didn’t leave you alone.
I distinctly heard that voice. I know I did.
“…Clay?”
Clay? Is it you?
Hey, Evvie girl. I didn’t leave you alone.
I squeeze the telescope to my heart. I hear him, and he hears me. I’m wide awake. I’m not dreamin’. This ain’t a vision. Miracles can happen.
I know that now. I have a lotta people who love me. I’m lucky.
You have more than you realize, m’lady.
I giggle. Afraid to break the connection in case I never get it back again.
And then, I’ll be damned if that rabbit ain’t back! She crawls right up on me like it’s our old routine now and just starts tappin’ away at me.
I wish you could see this.
What is it? A rabbit?
I sit straight up, and my eyes damn near bulge outta my head. The rabbit hops offa me but don’t run away.
Clay. Can you see me?
No.
Then how did you know it was a rabbit?
Rabbits are signs of abundance. And fertility.
Oh.
Shit.
That’s all he has to say. It’s why I been feelin’ that there’s more to me than there used to be: there is.
I’ll never leave you alone, Evvie.
I lie back down on the blanket and rub my abdomen, curious and scared about what’s inside. Dear god, Mama’s gonna have a coronary. First she’ll wanna beat the livin’ hell outta me; then she’ll have a coronary. Christ Jesus.
What am I gonna do?
You’ll have faith. You’ll love each other. You’ll believe you can make it work. Because you will.
We go on like that for a while. He makes me laugh a little and melt a little. I end up fallin’ asleep outside and wakin’ up just before dawn. Just as the sun is risin’. I watch all the colors appear and fade before settling on the gold of the morning. It’s a new day. With new obstacles to be sure. But I’ll have faith, I’ll love, and I’ll believe I can make it work.
Because I will.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I’m as grateful as ever to all the fantastic, intelligent, and generous people in my life. Without them, this book would not exist.
This book went through many drafts, including a huge rewrite that briefly made me wonder if I should just quit and cut my losses. I’m glad I didn’t. Thank you, thank you, thank you to my first-round readers! Danica Novgorodoff, Cori Thomas, and Chris Van Strander—your thoughts were invaluable. Then there was a second version of the book that was VERY different from the first. Thank you, Jackie Kelly for being the fresh pair of eyes on this one and a giant thank you goes to Kia Corthron (my sister and fellow scribe), Tom Matthew Wolfe, and Tasha Gordon-Solmon for reading and giving me in-depth feedback on BOTH versions of the book! I appreciate you all infinitely.
I have to thank my peerless agent, the incomparable Laurie Liss, for always having my back and supporting me since the day we met. To Simon & Schuster/Simon Pulse: thank you for taking a big risk on an unknown author by giving me a two-book deal: that kind of encouragement is life changing. A few different editors contributed their time and wisdom to birthing this book. Fiona Simpson, who gave me the tough and correct advice when she suggested I start over; Tricia Lin and Jennifer Ung, who stepped in late in the game to help me reach the finish line: you are fierce women! Thank you, Tiara Iandiorio, for the gorgeous, dreamy cover. Sometimes it takes a coven to make a book real and I couldn’t be more pleased with the result.
Thank you to the wondrous staff at the MacDowell Colony for all the little miracles you provide for us artists, like delicious meals. I began the skeletal draft of this book there four years ago in the dead of winter in Garland Studio, which was haunted and also the studio of choice for James Baldwin on more than one occasion decades before. I didn’t appreciate the ghost, but the beauty, inspiration, and that electric legacy will stay with me always.
All my readers: without you, all this effort would be for nothing. You have my undying gratitude.
I mentioned Tom Matthew Wolfe ab
ove, but I have to thank him again. Our lives have gone though a lot of changes in the last few years and he’s remained the kind-hearted, hilarious, and loving guy I married through all of it. Thanks for being my partner in crime.
More from the Author
The Truth of Right Now
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
AUTHOR PHOTOGRAPH BY JODY CHRISTOPHERSON
Kara Lee Corthron is an author, playwright, and TV-writer based in Los Angeles. She’s the author of The Truth of Right Now, winner of the Parents’ Choice Gold Award. Her plays, including What Are You Worth?, Welcome to Fear City, AliceGraceAnon, and Holly Down in Heaven, have been performed across the US, and she writes for the TV thrillers You (Netflix) and The Flight Attendant (HBO-Max). She’s a multiyear MacDowell Fellow and a resident playwright at New Dramatists.
KARALEECORTHRON.COM
Visit us at SimonandSchuster.com/teen
www.SimonandSchuster.com/Authors/Kara-Lee-Corthron
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The Truth of Right Now
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This book is a work of fiction. Any references to historical events, real people, or real places are used fictitiously. Other names, characters, places, and events are products of the author’s imagination, and any resemblance to actual events or places or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
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First Simon Pulse hardcover edition October 2020
Text copyright © 2020 by Kara Lee Corthron
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Jacket designed by Tiara Iandiorio
Jacket photograph copyright © 2019 by Bernadette Newberry / Arcangel | Back jacket silhouettes holding hands copyright © 2019 by Klaus Vedfelt / Getty Images | Back jacket silhouette on left by Yuliia Blazhuk/iStock | Jacket light and trees texture by tomertu/iStock
CIP data for this book is available from the Library of Congress.
ISBN 9781481459501 (hc)
ISBN 9781481459525 (ebook)
Daughters of Jubilation Page 26
