by M. S. Parker
It took me a beat to figure out that the last part of her statement referred to what I chose to do about the pregnancy if my test was positive. I’d have a different set of timetables if I decided to terminate than I would if I chose to have the baby. I really hadn’t consciously let myself think that far ahead yet, and I didn’t want to until I knew for certain and talked to Eoin.
I kept my response noncommittal. “That makes sense.”
When I went back out into the waiting room after everything was done, I found Eoin sitting in a corner chair, pretending to read something on his phone while the expression in his eyes was far away. I wasn’t surprised. He had a number of reasons to look dazed, this current circumstance just one of several.
I barely took two steps before he was on his feet, all at once totally present and focused on me. My stomach clenched, surprising me with the intensity of my desire to touch him. To have him touch me. Not necessarily in a sexual way, just the need to feel his presence in a tangible way.
He must have felt the same because he took my hand, his fingers tightening around mine, and didn’t let go until we were getting into the car. He started it but left it in park as he half-turned toward me.
“Are you okay?”
I was surprised – and a little pleased – that his first question hadn’t been about when we’d get the results from the blood test.
“I am. Apparently, my IUD…” I searched for the right word, “moved.”
He raised an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.
I hitched a shoulder. “It’s not common, but it does happen from time to time. We’re supposed to…check after our periods, but I didn’t get a chance to because that was the day I was kidnapped.”
If I hadn’t been watching him so closely, I might’ve missed the tightening of his jaw when I mentioned my kidnapping. Not once did I see, however, any sort of disgust or anger or annoyance.
I knew a lot of men didn’t even like to think about the female reproductive system outside of the ways it affected them, but Eoin just listened. I was grateful for it, especially since I’d been a little nervous about telling him such private things. Our areas of intimacy weren’t exactly progressing in a traditional manner.
“It wasn’t because we…” He gestured between us. “I mean, I didn’t do this to you, did I?”
I shook my head. “No, it most likely happened during my period.”
The relief on his face told me how worried he’d been about that. This time, I was the one offering comfort. After a moment, I kept going.
“Since we don’t know for sure yet if I’m pregnant, Dr. Rhimes removed it. She’s put a rush on the blood test so we should have an answer later today. If I’m not pregnant, I’ll schedule an appointment to have another IUD put in. If I am…”
I let the sentence trail off because he didn’t need me to say what would happen if I was. We’d have a different sort of talk between us then.
“All right.” He kissed my hand and released it. “Do you feel okay?”
“I do.”
“Then I was wondering if you’d like to come with me to see my new place.” He didn’t look at me as he said it, and I knew he was trying for nonchalance, but I could feel how unsure he was.
“Of course.” I leaned over and kissed his cheek. “I’d love to.”
As I buckled up, I felt my own relief that the situation hadn’t destroyed what we’d been building. Maybe things would work out, no matter how the test came out.
Nineteen
Eoin
My brother, Rome, had outdone himself with this condo, and I’d made a point of telling him that when he’d met me there before I’d gone to pick up Aline this morning. I hadn’t, however, told him about what was going on.
I wanted her to meet my family. I knew that by now, but I didn’t want it to happen with a question mark over our heads. So, until we got those test results, only Alec knew that this was a possibility. No matter what happened, though, I wanted her to see my new place because, at some point, I planned for it to be our place.
Some of my tension had left when Aline had told me that she was okay and that the IUD debacle hadn’t been my fault, but it’d been such a small bit that as we moved into Playa Vista, my stomach was one giant knot of nerves. Most of it was because we still didn’t know for certain whether or not she was pregnant, but there was still a part of it that had to do with how she felt about my new home. I wanted her to love it.
I took her hand as we walked up to the building, and I tried not to let my anxiety show. While my life would change if Aline was pregnant, it would be nothing like how hers would be affected. She needed me to be strong, needed to know that I was steady and reliable. That she could lean on me, count on me. If I looked like I couldn’t handle my shit when a kid was a maybe, how could I ever ask her to trust me to take care of her and a definite baby?
“Wow,” she breathed as we walked inside. “This place is huge.”
“Four bedrooms, three bathrooms, a little over twenty-five hundred square feet.” I didn’t even try to keep the note of pride from my voice. This was the first real home I’d ever owned. And I did own it.
I was a lucky son of a bitch, and I knew it. I’d been able to invest most of my military income as well as the trust that would’ve gone toward college instead of having to live on it. I also had money that came from my shares of the family business that I invested as well. One of the reasons for that choice was that, by the time I was ready to retire, I wanted to do whatever I wanted to do without cost being an issue. The only thing that had changed in my plans now that I was post-army was that I’d realized I needed work to keep me busy. At least I already had that taken care of.
“Let me show you around,” I said. “It’s a bit bare right now since I haven’t moved in yet. I have some stuff in storage, but it won’t even come close to filling the place.”
I wanted to tell her that she should start looking for where her things would go since, if there was a baby, they’d both be here too, but I didn’t want to spring that on her before we even knew whether or not she was actually pregnant. I wanted her input either way, but it was the difference between asking her to help me pick out stuff that would look good because I didn’t know shit about that sort of thing and asking her how she wanted to decorate our bedroom and the nursery.
As we went into the master bedroom, and I looked over to see Aline’s reaction to the view, I realized that I hadn’t taken into consideration how overwhelmed she must’ve already been. She had this shell-shocked expression on her face, almost the same one she’d worn in Iran when everything had finally hit her.
“Hey.” I stepped in front of her and cupped her face between my hands. “It’s okay.”
Those beautiful eyes turned up to mine, and she looked so lost that I did the only thing I could.
I kissed her.
Twenty
Aline
Eoin’s place was gorgeous. And huge. Not at all what I’d been expecting, even after he’d told me that he’d leased a condo rather than an apartment. I’d already known that he’d come from a wealthy family, so it wasn’t the cost of a place like this that surprised me. It was more that this didn’t seem like the sort of place that a single, not-quite-thirty, former military man would live. This was more of a…family home.
A beautiful one, but I was starting to feel like seeing all of it, being here with him while such a large question was looming over us, was untethering me from reality. I had experienced this strange disconnect only a few times in my life, most of them recently.
“Hey.” His hands were on either side of my face, his skin hot against my cheeks. “It’s okay.”
I looked up at him, and then his mouth was on mine, firm pressure without being aggressive, and the contact sent a wave of warmth washing over me, pushing away thoughts of anything else.
This man could distract me from anything.
As he broke the kiss, his hands slid down my neck and over my shoulders t
o come to rest on my upper arms. My skin tingled where he touched it, and I leaned into him, opening my eyes as I did so. I reached up, wrapping my arms around his neck and going up onto my toes to initiate another kiss…
And he turned his head away.
My stomach dropped. Oh. He’d said that I wasn’t going to be alone, and that he wanted to be with me, but he hadn’t said that he still wanted me. He wasn’t breaking up with me because I might be pregnant, but that didn’t mean that the results of the test wouldn’t shape where we went from here. He was a good man, and he’d take care of his child. Or we’d pick up our relationship where we’d left off before, dating and heading toward a possible serious future.
I just hadn’t realized until now that they were two separate things. It made sense, though. I’d guilted him into sleeping with me that first time, and then I’d told him that I was safe from pregnancy because of my IUD. He’d trusted me, and I’d let him down.
These thoughts tumbled one over the other through my mind, swift and severe, the edges cutting at me, telling me all the ways I’d messed up, the mistakes I’d made. How I’d not only put myself into a position to derail my future but also Eoin’s, and possibly an innocent child. How could Eoin ever trust me again? Why would he want to? Would I–
Fingers snapped in front of me.
“What’s going on in that mind of yours?” Eoin brushed his knuckles across my cheek. “You disappeared into your head, and I can see on your face that what’s happening there isn’t good.”
I took a step back. “It’s nothing.”
“Don’t do that.” His voice was firm but not harsh. “Don’t shut me out, please.”
He was right. I owed him honesty. Or at least as much as I could bear.
“You didn’t want to kiss me again.” I looked at his chin, unable to bring myself to look him in the eye as I spoke. “I’d just thought that, we’re here in your house that you wanted me to see, and you kissed me, and when we kiss, it usually leads to…” Heat flooded my face, and I let my words trail off.
“You still think I could look at you, touch you, and not want you?”
His voice was thick with emotion, and that was what made me look at him. The ferocity in those vivid green eyes made me catch my breath.
“Just seeing you, hearing your voice.” He stepped closer so that our bodies were almost touching. “Fuck, Aline, just the thought of you…” He shook his head.
“Why didn’t you kiss me back then?” Maybe it was the hormones or some sort of placebo effect from me thinking I was pregnant, but I needed to poke at the hurt, needed to hear him state it clearly.
He took a lock of my hair and tucked it behind my ear, his fingertips lingering on my cheek. A small smile played on his lips, the intensity shifting to something…tender.
“You’ve had morning sickness, and then less than an hour ago, you had an exam and procedure I assumed would make you not want…contact.” His thumb stroked across my bottom lip. “I didn’t want to pressure you into anything or for you to even think that’s what I was doing.”
“So, it’s not because I might be pregnant?” I forced myself to ask the real question. “That doesn’t make you…not be attracted to me?”
He shook his head as if he couldn’t believe what I was saying. “If you knew the things I want to do to you…”
Hope and arousal twined together. “Like what?”
He stepped into me, forcing me to take a step back. “Lick and suck and bite your nipples until even your softest bra is too much.”
I swallowed hard and took another step back. He was taking me back to the wall, and I couldn’t wait to see what happened when we reached it.
“Pick you up and fuck you against the wall until you scream my name.” Step. “Take you on your hands and knees, spanking your ass until it’s a pretty shade of pink.” Step. “Maybe I’ll tease your ass with my finger, see what that does for you.”
My back came up against the wall.
“But I think, right now, I’ll be content to just make you come on my fingers.”
He didn’t specifically ask permission, but he didn’t do anything until I nodded. Only then did he undo my pants and slide his hand into my underwear. I shifted my stance to let him get where he wanted to go, and the first pass of his finger over my clitoris was pure bliss.
He didn’t move his hand any lower, simply moving his fingers in tight circles, the perfect pressure and the perfect friction driving me to a quick and explosive climax. I pressed my face against his chest to muffle my cries, unsure who might be able to hear me, but that was the only coherent thought I could muster.
Everything else was the sort of pleasure that left my knees weak and my muscles limp.
He held me there, murmuring things I couldn’t quite hear as his free hand moved up and down my spine, soothing me. In that moment, I knew that I was falling hard, that I had fallen hard. I could only hope that he would be there to catch me.
Or, better yet, that he’d fall with me.
Twenty-One
Eoin
I didn’t understand why Aline would – again – think I didn’t want her. I knew her family was really overprotective of her, but I couldn’t imagine that translating into any type of emotional abuse. She was a certified genius and one of the most selfless people I’d ever met. And she was gorgeous. The fact that she’d been a virgin – barely even kissed if Freedom had been right about that too – confused the shit out of me because she had to have had guys all over her.
Just the thought of any other man near her made my arms tighten around her. I still had my hand in her pants, could hear her ragged breathing slow and even out…and I was jealous of men I didn’t even know, men who might not even exist.
Men I didn’t want to exist.
I wanted to be it for her. The only man who’d ever know what she looked like when she came.
Shit.
The thought should have terrified me, but it didn’t. Even though I was painfully hard, I was content to stand here, holding her, rubbing her back with my free hand.
“That’s it,” I said quietly. “Relax. I’ve got you.”
I called her sweetheart, told her that I was here, that she wasn’t alone. I probably repeated myself, but I didn’t think she cared. I could’ve stood there all day, but a knock on the door broke into our little bubble, and a thought came with it.
“Dammit,” I muttered. “I completely lost track of time.”
“Who is it?” she asked as she straightened her clothes, her cheeks flaming with color.
“Cain and the guys,” I answered as I went into the bathroom to quickly wash my hands. “Apparently, before we left the office Thursday, I’d asked them to come help me get my things from storage. Cain brought it up yesterday when I called him to check in.”
As I walked back out to the bedroom, my phone started vibrating in my pocket. I answered it, giving Aline a smile as I headed for the door.
“I’m coming.” I didn’t bother with a greeting. “Don’t be an asshole.”
Cain laughed. “Takes one to know one, right?”
I hung up on him, and less than a minute later, opened the door to let the guys in. “You’re a riot, Cain.”
Dez whistled as he stepped inside. “Damn, army boy. I knew your type was soft, but this?”
“Fuck you, Dez.” I flipped him off.
“No, thank you.” Dez winked at me. “You’re not my type.”
“Aline.” Bruce’s eyebrows went up. “We didn’t know you were here.”
Eyes went to her and then to me, apparently deciding I needed to offer an explanation of some kind.
“Hi, guys.” She stepped up next to me and slipped her hand into mine. “You all look like you’re feeling better than the last time I saw you.”
“Yeah, not all of us are as delicate as your…man here,” Dez said with a grin. “I mean, if he even is a man.”
As soon as Aline wasn’t around, I was going to punch that smirk off his
expression. And then I saw Aline’s face. It was pink, but she had that stubborn set to her jaw that I already recognized. The glint in her eyes was something I knew too.
“My degree is in education, not biology, but if you’ve ever seen him naked, you wouldn’t have a doubt in your mind that he’s all man.” She gave Dez an exaggerated up-and-down look, then added, “But I can understand your confusion if you only have your own…equipment to judge by.”
Dez’s jaw dropped, and the other guys burst out laughing right along with me. Even Fever laughed.
Aline squeezed my hand, and I looked down at her. “I hate to do this now, but I’m scheduled to work at the boutique from two to seven, and I didn’t drive here. It’s already one-thirty.”
I frowned. Work? After the morning she’d had? “Did Martina know you had a doctor’s appointment today?”
“No, I didn’t tell her.”
“I’m sure she won’t mind if you call off.”
Aline gave me a strange look, as if she didn’t understand why it was a good idea for her to take a personal day. I didn’t know Martina well, but I had no doubt she’d do what was best for Aline.
“I don’t think you really need me to help you move, do you?” She gestured toward the guys. “Unless there’s something you don’t think they can handle.”
Shit. She was annoyed.
If she stayed, I knew she would try to help, and even though I didn’t have a lot, I didn’t want her exerting herself like that. At least at the boutique, she probably wouldn’t be doing any heavy lifting.
“I’ll take you,” I said. “Do you need to stop by the apartment for anything?”
She shook her head. “What I’m wearing is fine. I’m doing inventory, so I’ll mostly be in the back, counting, that sort of thing.”
The guys had been wandering around far enough away that they weren’t eavesdropping, so I raised my voice to get their attention.
