by M. S. Parker
“What’s going on with you? You’re not acting like yourself.”
Freedom’s laugh had an edge to it. “I know. And there’s a lot more we should talk about, but I need to know something first.” Her expression was serious as she locked eyes with me. “Do you love him?”
That was a question I hadn’t really let myself think about, which was pretty foolish considering the ring I was wearing.
“Put aside all the crazy. The way you met, the baby. If you had just gotten to know him as a man, as Eoin McCrae, would you want to be engaged to him? Make a life with him?” Her gaze practically bore a hole into me as she asked a second time, “Do you love him?”
Maybe the reason I’d never asked was because I’d known I wouldn’t even have to think about the answer. It’d just be right there, ready to come out.
“I do.”
She smiled. “Good. Now, stop running away. Go back home and talk to your fiancé. Don’t let him get away because you’re too scared or too proud to make him talk about his baggage.”
I leaned back in my chair. “I really didn’t see this coming when I called you.”
This laugh was far lighter than the one before. “I’ve had an eye-opening last few days.”
I raised an eyebrow. “Really?”
“Let’s just say that you’re not the only Mercier woman who prefers to leave instead of dealing with things that are tough.”
I was beyond stunned. “I’m an awful sister. How did I not know you were going through something so terrible?”
She pointed a finger at me. “No. Don’t do that. This isn’t about my shit, okay? I want to tell you everything, but right now, you need to talk to Eoin before this thing is beyond fixing.”
She was right.
I should have stayed and told him how it made me feel when he questioned my choices. Asked him what was at the root of what he was saying rather than making assumptions. Face my own fears that, deep down, I really couldn’t do this, and make myself vulnerable so that he would do the same in turn.
“Do you need me to drive you back to your place?” Freedom asked.
I shook my head. “I’m not far, and the walk will give me a few minutes to get my head on straight.”
“Good idea.” She got up and leaned over to kiss my cheek. “Give me a call later, and we’ll set up a time for us to have a long talk about a lot of things.”
I stood up and grabbed her in a hug. “I’d like that. I’ve missed you.”
In a voice thick with emotions, she whispered in my ear, “I’ve missed you too.”
Thirty-Eight
Eoin
I’d just been ready to call Aline when a text came through that she was coming back and we needed to talk. I went back and forth between anxiety and relief while I waited for her. We couldn’t keep doing this.
Our lives were linked, and we didn’t have the luxury of waiting until we had our shit figured out before deciding to start a family. The baby was on the way, and no matter what she and I disagreed about, I had no doubt that we were on the same page when it came to being the best parents we could be. To do that, we needed to work this out sooner rather than later.
Since I didn’t know if Aline had her key, I unlocked the door and then spent the next fifteen minutes or so pacing from one end of the living room to the other and back again.
When she came in, I wanted to just blurt out an apology and explanation, but I also didn’t want to come on too strong. How the fuck did people do this? How did they know what to say or how to say it? I didn’t know the answers, and I hated how unfair it was to Aline that she’d gotten knocked up by someone who was so completely ignorant when it came to knowing how to have a real relationship.
“Let’s get something to drink and get comfortable,” she said, her voice much calmer than it had been when she’d left.
I hoped that wasn’t because she’d decided it was too much and she was done with me.
“All right,” I agreed. “I’ll get you something. Juice?”
“Water’s fine.”
When I came back with ice water for her and a sports drink for me, she was already seated on the couch. Since she was at one end, I sat at the other, leaving space between us that could be crossed if she wanted me to.
“I’m sorry,” I said before she could speak. “And I’m not going to just leave it at that. You deserve to know why I freaked out, because it’s something that I’m going to need your help to get through.”
“All right,” she said, her attention focused on her drink. “I have some things I need to apologize for too. Do you want to go first?” She glanced at my face. “I don’t really know how this is supposed to go.”
“Me either.” I laughed, feeling a bit better at her admission. “I’ll go first and save us from trying to figure it out.”
“I’ll go first next time then.”
A hint of a smile played around her lips, and that gave me the hope I needed to rip off the band-aid.
“I’m scared.” I took a deep breath and pushed on. “I lost my mom when I was really young, and it fucked with my head. I acted out a lot, to the point that Da threatened to cut me off completely. If it hadn’t been for Leo convincing me to enlist with him, I don’t know that I ever would’ve straightened out.” It was easier to say his name than I’d thought it would be. “It was tough when soldiers I knew died, but it was different when we were ambushed. There was this kid, barely out of basic, and he was just gone. This other guy, he’d been pinned…” I shook my head. “He wasn’t dead yet, but I knew I couldn’t save him. I tried to save Leo but…”
Aline slid closer to me and put her hand on my knee, but she didn’t tell me that I didn’t need to talk about it, that I’d already told her a lot of this. She was just there, letting me know that I wasn’t alone, and that was what I needed to finish.
“My trying to save him is what ended up killing him. Logically, I know there really wasn’t anything I could’ve done differently. If we’d stayed, we would’ve gotten shot, and I went to the only shelter close enough for us to get to. Hell, I was shot twice just getting there.” My calf and shoulder ached with the memory. “It would’ve been bad enough to see him die in any way, but to have him die because I’d failed him–”
“No.” Aline squeezed my knee. “I’m not going to tell you that you can’t feel a certain way, but never forget the facts. Leo died because of a thousand things not in your control.”
I nodded and put my hand on hers. “You’re right. And this is exactly why I needed to tell you all of this, because I need you to remind me of the facts when I can’t see them myself. I can’t do it by myself.”
“You don’t have to.” She kissed my cheek.
More than anything, I wanted to take her in my arms and show her everything I was feeling, but I knew we had to get through this if we were ever going to be more than sex.
“From the first moment I saw you, I wanted to protect you,” I continued, “and you seemed determined to make that an impossible job. When you told me you were pregnant, all I could think was that now there were two of you to protect, and if I hadn’t been able to keep Leo alive, how could I manage to keep you safe? I still feel like that, but I know how I reacted wasn’t the right way. I should have told you that I’m terrified that something is going to happen to you and the baby. Asked if we could talk through stuff. I’m sorry for how I handled it.”
She ran her fingers through my hair, and I leaned into her touch. She kept getting closer, not farther away, and I hoped that was a good sign.
“I’m sorry too,” she said. “I can’t expect you to know what I’m feeling if I don’t tell you. And I shouldn’t have blown off your concerns or acted like they were unreasonable. We’re parents, and we have to do what’s best for our family as a whole. I should have told you how I felt rather than going on the defensive. And I definitely shouldn’t have walked away. Part of the reason things with my family got so bad was because I never wanted to work through c
onflict. So much of what I’ve done in my life has been easy, and I don’t like it when things are hard.”
I took her hand in mine, my thumb brushing back and forth across her knuckle. Part of me worried that she was going to break up with me, but I refused to let that part get the upper hand. She didn’t sound like someone who was giving up.
“I came back because I wanted to fight for you. For us. I’m done backing away from something just because it’ll take some work. Some things we have to go through fast because of our situation, but we can’t skip steps.”
I took a slow breath to steady myself and then asked the question I didn’t actually want to ask. “Do you want to break off the engagement? Step back from that until we work through all our issues?”
“How about I keep the ring, and then when I’m ready to pick a date and start wedding planning, I’ll propose to you?”
I chuckled and pulled her into my arms. I kissed the top of her head. “Whatever you say.”
“Let’s not do this again.” Aline’s voice was muffled against my chest, but I could hear the hint of a smile. “Here’s an idea…show tunes.”
“Um…what?”
She pulled back to look up at me with a smile that said she was thinking something mischievous. “I love musicals, and I think whenever we start arguing, we should sing a show tune. They make everything better.”
I wasn’t sure if I looked horrified or amused, but whatever my expression was made her laugh, and it was the laugh I loved, the one that lit up her entire face.
“I love you.” It was out of my mouth before I knew the words had even formed.
Her mouth fell open a little bit, like I’d genuinely shocked her, which was sort of funny since I’d figured that my proposal would have pretty much topped any other sort of surprise. It should’ve been the first thing that I’d surprised her with, that confession, but I couldn’t go back and say it before proposing. And if I was being honest, I wasn’t sure that I could have admitted it then. Admitting it would’ve meant I had more to lose.
At least, that was the way I’d thought before. Now, I realized that not admitting it didn’t make the danger any less. It just meant I wouldn’t get any of the good. Having her, having a family with her, that was worth the risk.
“I love you too.” She beamed at me, and we just sat there for a few minutes, smiling at each other before she wiggled her eyebrows. “Does this mean no show tunes?”
I laughed. “I hate to break it to you, but I’m definitely not the one in the family with the musical talent.”
“That’s okay,” she said as she ran her finger along my bottom lip. “You have other talents.”
My eyebrows went up. “Are you trying to seduce me?”
She slid her hand down my chest to my lap. “Is it working?”
I wanted to make a smartass, sexual comment, but my concern for her was still there. Not the near panic from before, but enough to make me ask a question. “Are you sure you want to do this? You’re feeling okay?”
“Yes to both questions.” She pressed her lips to mine in a brief but scorching kiss. “Now, take me to bed.”
She didn’t have to tell me a third time. Less than five minutes later, we were both naked and falling into bed together, laughing and kissing, limbs tangled. Touching her, having her touch me, had the same electrical effect on me as it’d had before, but there was a lightness now that wasn’t there when things had been great between us. Like the things that we’d just shared had had a weight to them, and now we weren’t carrying it alone.
The realization made me smile, and that was when she slid her fingers into my hair, pulled my head down, and brought my mouth to hers. I made a sound, pushed my tongue between her lips, devouring her as my hands touched everything I could reach. Soft breasts. Sensitive nipples that hardened as I teased them. The delicate feel of her bones under her skin. Strong legs wrapping around my waist.
“Inside me,” she whispered as she bit my bottom lip. “Now.”
It didn’t take much for me to do as she asked. We both groaned as we came together. She was hot and tight, her body fitting perfectly with mine. We moved together, finding a mutual rhythm that had friction and pressure in all the right places. Perfection.
Deep, lazy strokes. Thorough kisses. Muscles bunching and relaxing. Moans and whispers.
When I rolled my hips, a little whimper escaped her, so I did it again.
“More, more,” she begged.
She clutched my shoulders, used the leverage to bring us together harder, faster, and I was happy to match her as my own urgency grew. Together, we raced toward climax, pleasure running through my veins, filling me. I fought off my own orgasm, needing to make her come first, and she did, crying out my name. It was the sound of her voice that tipped me over the edge, and I had only one thought in mind as I came.
Home.
Thirty-Nine
Eoin
If Aline had to go through another summer pregnancy, I was pretty sure she’d give me a vasectomy herself. She’d been so miserable the past two months that she’d actually cried happy tears when her doctor had recommended inducing labor a week before her due date.
Our son was big, and she was definitely not, so it was the best course of action, and I had to admit that it did a lot to help with my nerves since I didn’t have to worry about her going into labor when I wasn’t home. That particular nightmare slash panic attack had been in my head since June.
Instead of a frantic ‘my water broke,’ we’d packed everything yesterday morning and headed for the hospital. Both of our families had wanted to come to the hospital, but with my family being so big, we’d asked my siblings to stagger their visits instead of filling up the entire waiting room the entire time she was in labor. That meant, after the delivery was over, I went to the waiting room to tell both sets of parents, Freedom, and several of my siblings that everything had gone well.
“Eight pounds, three ounces. Twenty-one inches.” I was exhausted after having spent every minute of the last twenty-five hours with Aline, but the adrenaline that had rushed through me at seeing my son continued to keep me going.
Mom reached me first, and everyone else followed, even my brothers and Aline’s dad. And Freedom.
A lot had happened since that explosive Christmas Day when she’d gone off on me, not the least of which had been an absolutely crazy explanation of what had been going on in her life last year. Things were good now between all of us, and I couldn’t have asked for a better family for my son to be born into.
While Paris and Brody had volunteered to make the calls to the rest of the family, there was one call I was going to make myself. Two people who would be Leo Allen McCrae’s grandfather and great-grandmother in every way that really mattered.
When I’d told Israel and Nana Naz that Aline and I planned to name our son after both Leo and my mother, they’d cried. Packed into our hospital bag was a baby blanket that Nana Naz had crocheted for ‘her first grandson.’
I made that call while Aline was taken to her room, and then I went with her parents and sister to see her. The rest of the family rotated in and out, spending only a few minutes each with her before heading to the nursery to see Leo. Everyone understood how tired Aline was, so it wasn’t long before she and I were alone.
I leaned over Aline and kissed her forehead before sinking down in the chair next to the bed. We were both crashing hard, but I could see her fighting it.
“Sleep, sweetheart,” I said. “Someone will wake you up when they bring the baby. Alec says the most important thing to remember as new parents is to sleep whenever you can.”
She smiled and reached for my hand. My thumb automatically moved over her ring finger even though she’d taken her engagement ring off a few days ago, her fingers too swollen for her to wear it.
“It’s time,” she said, squeezing my hand.
“Time?” I gave her a puzzled look. “Pretty sure we’re past that now. He’s already here.”
> She laughed. “No, that’s not what I meant. Sorry. My brain’s a bit foggy.”
I raised her hand and kissed it. “I think you can get a pass on clear communication for a while.”
In the months since we’d had our big discussion, we’d needed a few small talks here and there, but we’d avoided a lot of possible conflict by talking things out before they caused problems.
“Well, I’m clear on this,” she continued. Her expression turned serious as tears filled her eyes. “Eoin McCrae, will you marry me?”
For a moment, I couldn’t figure out what she was saying. We were still engaged. Why was she proposing to me?
And then I remembered what she’d said that day. That when she was ready to pick a date and start planning our wedding, she’d ask me to marry her.
So, I gave the only answer I could possibly give to that question.
“Yes, Aline Mercier, I will marry you.” I moved to kiss her. “Every day for the rest of my life.”
By the time I sat back down, her eyes were closing, but before she completely drifted off, she murmured three important words, “I love you.”
I smiled and told her that I loved her too. She probably hadn’t heard me, but that was okay. We had the rest of our lives for me to tell her and show her just how much…over and over again.
The Scottish Billionaires continues in Brody McCrae’s story, coming spring 2021.
The Scottish Billionaires Reading order
Alec’s Story:
Prequel
1. Off Limits
2. Breaking Rules
3. Mending Fate
Eoin’s Story:
1. Strangers in Love
2. Dangers of Love
Office romances by M. S. Parker
The Boss
The Dom
