Keith set out to destroy us, and he’d failed. Ours was a bond that could not be broken.
It was a beautiful, sunny day and after Maya and Celeste brought me freshly cut white roses from our garden and arranged them in my bedroom, I took them to spend the afternoon on Greg’s one-hundred-foot superyacht, Sympatico.
Greg was throwing a Mother’s Day party for his wife, Andrea, with lots of food, cake, champagne, and music. The girls and I had a great time—though when I started dancing to Guns N’ Roses’ “Sweet Child o’ Mine,” they were so embarrassed they nearly jumped overboard.
We sailed for hours, from Marina del Rey heading north up the coast until we reached Venice Beach, where my journey with India on this road began.
The journey continues. India and I are strong, defiant, stubborn women—just like our valiant, freedom-fighting ancestors before us; so she hasn’t given up on the cult yet, and I haven’t given up on her.
And so, we wrestle on.
But looking out to the horizon that day, something occurred to me that made me laugh out loud. It hit me that India’s own stubbornness had been the cult’s undoing—her strength had been Nxivm’s Achilles heel.
Had my initial intervention been successful, she and I would have walked away arm in arm without ever looking back and Keith would still be recruiting, abusing, exploiting, and branding innocent women.
Had she not been so resistant, I wouldn’t have been so moved to expand my mission and help so many more needful victims through my foundation.
Every time India resisted, my heart broke—and then expanded, and my desire to help others increased.
So I want to thank her for that. I want to thank India from the deepest part of my heart for teaching me how to be a better person.
Far from the shore and surrounded by the tranquil waters of the Pacific, I felt at peace.
I didn’t know how much longer it would take, but I knew now that India would find her way back to herself again, and we’d find our way to each other; the original, inseparable duo.
Until then, I would be there to help her and love her as always, with arms open as wide as the ocean.
Courtesy of Zepter
A modeling shot taken in Monte Carlo for the skincare line Zepter in 1996.
Courtesy of Zepter
Another shoot for Zepter in 1997. India came on location with me for work all over the world: “My mommy works in a trailer,” she told a reporter when she was two.
Courtesy of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia
June 7, 1991: Three hours after India’s birth, we’re home from the hospital. Photo taken by my father.
Courtesy of Stanley Zareff
Playing peekaboo under India’s tutu at home in Beverly Hills—a present from Uncle Stanley circa 1996.
Courtesy of Zepter
With Mommy at work at a modeling shoot in Milan, 1997. At six, India was already wise beyond her years.
Courtesy of the author
India at thirteen as we taped I Married a Princess at home in Malibu. Her sense of humor popped on-screen.
Courtesy of the author
Between takes shooting Sexology, a comforting hug from India a few days after my separation from Casper. This was the last time I truly felt her; the cult pulled her away soon after.
Courtesy of the author
India loves animals; here she is as a teen petting a pygmy goat in our backyard in Malibu at one of the kids’ birthday parties.
Courtesy of the author
India, thirteen, taking a break from I Married a Princess as the family sailed the Gulf of Mexico. Casper and I renewed our wedding vows in this episode, and India and her sisters were our bridesmaids.
Courtesy of the author
In South Africa while Casper filmed Starship Troopers 3: Marauder, India embraced tribal face paint and made exotic animal friends at a nearby reserve.
Courtesy of the author
India’s first modeling headshot at age thirteen. She was a natural in front of the camera.
Courtesy of the author
On safari in Capetown in 2007—that’s an elephant, her favorite animal, behind India.
Courtesy of the author
India at the rocky Cape of Good Hope in South Africa in 2007 while vacationing with the family.
Courtesy of the author
Our first trip to Tulum, Mexico, in September 2015. Casper had just filed for divorce and Keith had just come up with the idea for DOS. A few months later, India would be lured in.
Courtesy of the author
Graduating from Malibu High in 2009!
Courtesy of the author
Taken at my fifty-fifth birthday party in Malibu, September 2016. India had just given away her possessions and moved to Albany at this point.
Courtesy of Dragan Babić
Paris, November 2008, as India makes her debut at the annual Le Bal des Débutantes at the Hôtel de Crillon with her proud mom and grandmother, Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia.
Courtesy of Dragan Babić
Courtesy of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia
Back in Tulum in April 2017, but this time India is preoccupied with her phones and constant “readiness drills” and I’m concerned. My mother took the photo.
Courtesy of RWAC Associates
The beautiful Toni Natalie with Keith when they were dating. He had a Vanguard video game in the basement and put her through decades of litigation hell after they split.
Courtesy of RWAC Associates
Sex with Keith was the “only way to true enlightenment,” said one coach.
Courtesy of RWAC Associates
The gambling book didn’t help; Keith lost $65 million of the Bronfman sisters’ billions on the stock market.
Courtesy of RWAC Associates
The original harem (from left): Dawn Morrison, Barb Jeske, Karen Unterreiner, and Pam Cafritz.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Cult central: the Nxivm headquarters near Albany, New York.
Courtesy of the Times Union
Nancy Salzman, aka “Gold Sash” at V-week—without her usual pasted-on cult grin.
Courtesy of Getty Images
India’s “master,” Smallville actress Allison Mack, aka “Pimp Mack,” who procured women for Keith and told the slaves to “feel the pain” as they were being branded.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Emiliano Salinas, son of the former president of Mexico, Carlos Salinas de Gortari, and former co-owner of Nxivm Mexico. His lawyers accused me of fraud and extortion.
Courtesy of the author
Sarah Edmondson and India on the beach in Santa Monica during an ESP “Humanties Event.” Sarah’s is the first brand I ever saw.
Courtesy of Callum Blue
A selfie with my bestie Callum Blue, shortly after we tried to sabotage V-week 2017.
Courtesy of the Times Union
In 2009, Keith meets with the Dalai Lama, who gives him a ceremonial scarf. At that same event, the Tibetan spiritual leader challenges the media to investigate Keith.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Clare Bronfman—heiress to the Seagram’s fortune and Keith’s top flying monkey.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Battlestar Galactica actress Nicki Clyne—I heard through the cult grapevine that India attended the wedding ceremony for Nicki and Allison Mack in 2017.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Sara Bronfman (left), sister of Clare—her romance with the Dalai Lama’s Buddhist monk “gatekeeper” caused heads to roll.
Courtesy of the author
Checking out Keith’s new digs, the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn, the day before his court appearance on Friday, April 13, 2018.
Courtesy of Stanley Zareff
Friday the 13—our lucky day; celebrating with Toni Natalie in Brooklyn Heights after staring Keith down in court. Our next stop: the chocolate shop!
As seen in the federal complaint
The 2" by 2" brand with Keith’s and Allison’s initials; it takes thirty minutes using a hot cauterizing iron. Slaves wore surgical masks to lessen the stench of burning flesh.
As seen in the federal complaint
Courtesy of AP Images
Keith in court in April, surrounded by his three stooges; he was the same smug, arrogant Vanguard as always.
Courtesy of Getty Images
Allison Mack arriving in court in Brooklyn in early May 2018. She was released on $5 million bail and is now serving home detention until the trial.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
I want to thank all the brave warriors who dared to speak out against the evil ways of Nxivm over decades—even though many of you sustained terrible scars in battle, I hope you can all feel some peace in your hearts that justice is finally being served.
For helping me tell this story, I am grateful to my literary agent, Yfat Reiss Gendell at Foundry Literary + Media. You are a treasure and without doubt the best agent on the planet; thank you for hand-holding me through every stage of the process.
To my collaborator, Natasha Stoynoff, for your sensitivity in sharing some of my family’s most private and harrowing moments; collaborating with you was pure joy.
To my editor, Natasha Simons, thank you for embracing my vision wholeheartedly and for your absolute brilliance. And to my wonderful team at Gallery Books—Natasha’s right-hand woman, editorial assistant Hannah Brown; publisher Jennifer Bergstrom; associate publisher Jennifer Long; editorial director Aimee Bell; director of publicity Jennifer Robinson and publicity assistant Hannah Payne; marketing professionals Abby Zidle, Diana Velasquez, Mackenzie Hickey, and Anabel Jimenez; managing editor Monica Oluwek and assistant managing editor Caroline Pallotta; production editor Chelsea Cohen; production manager Larry Pekarek; designer Bryden Spevak; art team members Lisa Litwack and John Vairo; subrights team Paul O’Halloran and Liz Lotto; and the audio edition team, including Tom Spain. Thank you also to Ed Klaris and Alexia Bedat at Klaris Law, PLLC. Thank you for supporting this complicated project.
To Gavin Bond, Sandy Flynn at Copious Management, Paul Rao, Dale Gold, Gaelle Paul, Clyde Haygood, and Katey Denno. To my lawyer, Monika Tashman, Esq. of Fox Rothschild, LLP, for your ongoing guidance on a process fraught with land mines. And the rest of my book team at Foundry Literary + Media: Jessica Felleman, Anna Strzempko, Deirdre Smerillo, Sara DeNobrega, Colette Grecco, Sarah Lewis, Kirsten Neuhaus, Michael Nardullo, Heidi Gall, Richie Kern, and Molly Gendell.
I’m grateful to members of the media for the relentless coverage given to exposing the atrocities of Nxivm, helping to generate much needed public outrage. Thank you to Barry Meier, Liz McNeil, Brendan Lyons, Megyn Kelly, Glenn Ruppel, Elizabeth Vargas, Tim Uehlinger, Chemene Pelzer, John Filimon, Alicia Powers, Scott Thompson, and many more. And a very special thanks to Frank Parlato: because of your tireless efforts, hundreds defected and escaped the horrors of branding and slavery.
With deepest gratitude to the United States Attorney’s Office for the Eastern District of New York and the New York Field Office of the Federal Bureau of Investigation for spearheading the Nxivm investigation, New York State Governor Andrew Cuomo and the New York State Department of Health, the New York State Police, the FBI Albany Field Office, the FBI’s Mexican legat, the Mexican Federal Police, the New York State Office of the Attorney General, and the United States Attorney’s Office for the Northern District of New York for their assistance.
I could never have succeeded in getting the truth out about the Nxivm group without the incredible generosity, patience, and guidance of my lawyers: Art Middlemiss and Anthony Capozzolo at Lewis Baach Kaufmann Middlemiss, PLLC; Neil Glazer at Kohn, Swift & Graf, P.C.; Robert Malone; and Anne Champion at Gibson, Dunn & Crutcher, LLP. Thank you all for providing countless hours of pro bono legal advice. And of course, tremendous thanks to foundation donors Tom Bove and Tom McKissick.
With deepest appreciation to those mental health professionals and other subject matter scholars for their kindness, wisdom, and insight. This gifted group includes Greg Hannley; Rachel Bernstein, LMFT; Daniel Shaw, LCSW; Rosanne Henry, LPC; Doni P. Whitsett, PhD, LCSW; Janja Lalich, PhD; Diane Benscoter; Dr. Annie Thiel; and Rick Alan Ross.
I’m also grateful to the gifted documentarians who have helped me capture some of this story on the screen, including Karim Amer and the Vow team—I love you all! I am so grateful that our lives intersected.
Special thanks to the wonderful friends with whom I laughed and cried this past year, including Stanley Zareff, Callum Blue, Bonnie Piesse, Mark Vicente, Juliana Vicente, Toni Natalie (my bookend), Toni Zarattini, Allison Rood, Margot J. Leviton, Sarah Edmondson, Nippy Ames, Maayan Tuati Saraga, Jen Kobelt, Tom Porter, Chitra Selvaraj, Deborah Matte, Lori Christina, Randy Jackson, Chris Burbs, Robin Tenaglia, Jessica Skyler Gifford, Janice Collier, Christy W., Sam McCloud, Ann Marie Hudson, Marissa Pomerantz, Connie Troncale, Anissa, Bev, Cherokee, Bea, Liliana, Erin, and Island Angel. And to the rest of you who prefer to remain anonymous, you know who you are—dear friends and acquaintances alike. I am deeply grateful for your contributions both large and small. Thank you for your enduring love, support, kindness, and friendship.
To my mother, Elizabeth, thank you for being my lifeline. I could not have weathered this storm without your strength, love, support, and humor. And to my precious children Maya, Celeste, Grace, and Casper Robert (Cappy)—I love you just as fiercely as I love India, so please, do me a favor, and promise me that you won’t ever join a cult! And I promise you I will never suggest another seminar.
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
CATHERINE OXENBERG is an American actress best known for her role as Amanda Carrington on the hit prime-time show Dynasty. She got her start as a model before making her acting debut in The Royal Romance of Charles and Diana, a made-fortelevision film where she portrays the late Princess Diana. Oxenberg is the daughter of Princess Elizabeth of Yugoslavia, making her a royal descendent in her own right. She currently lives in Malibu, California.
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RESOURCES
Books
* * *
Cults Inside Out: How People Get In and Can Get Out
Rick Alan Ross
Cults In Our Midst: The Hidden Menace in Our Everyday Lives
Margaret Thaler Singer and Janja Lalich
Take Back Your Life
Janja Lalich and Madeleine Tobias
Freedom of Mind
Steven Hassan
Combatting Cult Mind Control
Steven Hassan
Traumatic Narcissism: Relational Systems of Subjugation
Daniel Shaw, LCSW
Coercive Control: How Men Entrap Women in Personal Life
Evan Stark
Shoes of a Servant: My Unconditional Devotion to a Lie.
Diane Benscoter
Other Cult Resources
* * *
Freedom Of Mind: https://freedomofmind.com/resource-links
International Cultic Studies Association (ICSA): http://www.icsahome.com/elibrary/faqs
Cult Education Institute: https://www.culteducation.com
Open Minds Foundation: https://www.openmindsfoundation.org
Cult Experts: http://www.cultexperts.org
reFOCUS: http://www.refocus.org
Families Against Cult Teachings: https://www.familiesagainstcultteachings.org
FrankReport: https://frankreport.com/
NJ Safe & Sound: http://www.njsafeandsound.org/
Catherine Oxenberg Foundation 501-c-3 EIN# 82-1511988
The Catherine Oxenberg Foundation is a human rights organization dedicated to reclaiming female sexuality from the cultural shadow.
Women have the right to accurate, science-based knowledge about their bodies, they have the right to maintain complete sovereignty over their bodies, and they have the right to preserve the sanctity of their bodies.
Our contribution is in the realm of research, rehabilitation, and restoration, in order to establish an evidence-based approach to female sexuality, sponsor rescue and long-term recovery for victims of sexual exploitation and trafficking in the USA, and fund reconstructive surgery for victims of FGM.
The full freedom we aspire to as women can only become a reality in an environment where women are free from subjugation, exploitation, and abuse.
In the wake of recent developments, we have expanded the scope of the foundation to include exit counseling for defectors of extreme cults. Defectors are often in a state of acute trauma. Many are suffering from symptoms such as PTSD, paranoia of the outside world, severe phobias, and limited critical thinking. They have debilitated vocational skills; they have often been alienated from family and isolated from any support network. They are most likely financially broke and often in debt. They have fear of speaking with law enforcement, often as a result of cult indoctrination and severe intimidation. They often require a period of healing and recovery where they can unpack what has happened to them, organize their thinking, and take time to educate themselves. Education is a key component to recovery. The fact that they are financially destitute is a factor in why many remain trapped in the abusive environment of the cult. Our objective is to spearhead and craft new legislation to protect people against destructive cults. We need to lobby for stricter regulations when it comes to uninformed consent, undue influence, and coercive control. Currently the laws protect the perpetrators, not the victims.
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