Bethany swallowed the tears that threatened. “I need to work. What’s today’s jam?”
Jack grinned and nodded. “How about 80’s classic rock?”
“I can probably handle that better than any country western tune today.”
“Good. I’ll crank it so you can forget your troubles for now. Just remember, they aren’t buried that easily.”
“I know. Like zombies, they rise to attack when you least expect.”
“Wow. You really are in a state today. Take it out on the dough.”
“Aye, aye, boss.” She gave a mock salute and went to get the flour and other ingredients needed to start her work. It would be a long day.
~*~
Bethany limped to the car. Every move today was agony. She drove home and found Adele gone. The house was stifling in the summer heat. She went to the front porch and looked at the swing where heaven had visited earth last night. She grabbed a pillow from the sofa and settled on the hard wood. Once the swing stopped wobbling, she cataloged her pains and drifted to sleep. She awoke several hours later and padded inside the house, returning the pillow to its home.
Adele was still gone.
The house phone rang.
“Hello?”
“Bethany?”
“Hi, Titus.”
“I tried your phone, but you didn’t answer.”
“It’s turned off. I had no emergency so figured I’d save the battery.” She leaned against the wall.
“I was worried about you.”
“Why?”
“Listen, I’m sorry about last night. There are some things I haven’t told you and I don’t want to lead you on.”
“If I remember correctly, I led you.” Heat crawled up her neck at the memory of her forward behavior. She’d never done that before. She’d never even been kissed before.
His throat cleared. “Perhaps, but you were hurting and vulnerable and I shouldn’t have allowed that to happen.”
“I understand.” Foster kids are losers, not the kind of people one builds a lifelong relationship with. How could she forget that lesson?
“You do?”
“Sure. No problem.”
“Will you be coming into the garage tonight?”
“No.”
“Still sore?”
In so many ways. “Yeah. It was hard to work today.”
“I can imagine. I’m sorry.”
“It’s not your fault. You didn’t trip him. I did.”
“Was that on purpose?”
“I’m not sure.”
“I like you a lot, Bethany Joelle. Take care of yourself and call if you need anything. I look forward to you returning to the garage when you feel better.”
“OK.”
“Oh, I almost forgot. They arrested Miles. He could end up doing some jail time.”
“His father is rich and will hire the best attorneys. Bail will probably be posted.”
“I wouldn’t count on that. Sounds like daddy cut the apron strings recently.”
“One can only hope. Thanks for letting me know.”
“Stay safe, OK?”
“I don’t seem to have a good track record of that.”
“Try?”
“We’ll see. Bye, Titus.” She hung up the phone and collapsed into the chair.
~*~
Titus showed up at the garage and several men were working. One by one they stood and converged around him.
Will spoke. “We need to talk to you.”
Titus frowned. “OK. What’s up?”
Peter answered. “We know B.J. is a girl. We wanted you to understand we’re OK with her being here. She does good work.”
Eyes wide he scanned the faces of the men, all nodding their agreement. “You know?”
“Yeah, you didn’t?”
“She fooled me for a long time.”
Will laughed. “I figured it out within the first week she was here.”
Peter nudged Allen. “Love is blind, huh?”
The men chuckled.
“What are you talking about?”
“Aw, come on. You like her. We’re fine with you dating her. She’s cute under all the oil and that ball cap,” Silas added.
“Seriously, guys. How did you know she was a woman?”
“No facial hair. Come on, even a boy in his late teens would have some, and those cheekbones? Those lips? I’m glad I figured it out before you started spending time with her or I would have suspected you of well, you know…”
“Of what?” Titus asked, a threatening tone to his voice.
“Liking boys.”
Titus gulped. “No. I’m definitely attracted to women.”
“Especially that woman,” Will joked.
“That woman was struck by a car last night after she left here. Her scooter was wrecked. Think you could help me figure out how to fix it for her?” He motioned for them to follow him out to the truck.
They peered into the bed.
“It was pretty old already, wasn’t it? Wouldn’t it be better if we all pitched in to buy her a newer model?” Will asked.
“I’d be willing to pitch in,” Sam said as the other men all voiced their agreement.
“Perhaps I should see what I can find on the used market before we start taking up a collection?”
The men all chorused their agreement, headed back inside, and went back to work.
Titus lifted the broken scooter out of his truck and leaned it against the back of the shed. He was amazed she wasn’t hurt worse. Thank you, God.
He feared the crash in her heart from him probably ached more. But how did he repair that?
14
Love all, trust a few, do wrong to none.
William Shakespeare
Bethany Joelle carried the phone except when she was working. She avoided the garage. Friday after work she drove to Skye’s home bearing fresh baked chocolate chip cookies.
Skye welcomed her with her finger over her lips. “Come in. The kids just went down for a nap. Oh! You know the way to their heart, don’t you?” The petite redhead led the way to the kitchen and set the cookies on the counter. “Did you get to eat? You just got off work, right?”
“I’m fine, thanks.”
“Iced tea, perhaps? We can go sit out on the deck and talk.”
“I’d like that.”
Skye handed her a glass and led the way to the back patio. Settled into wicker chair Skye sipped her drink, set it aside and raised one eyebrow. “So what did you want to discuss? Titus?”
Bethany told her about the accident.
“He gave you a phone. What a sweet thing to do.”
“Later we were sitting together, and we, um, kissed—”
“—how was it?”
“Better than anything I ever imagined it could be.” Bethany hated how dreamy her voice sounded as she said the words.
“I hear a ‘but’ in there somewhere.”
“He jumped up, apologized, and took off.”
Skye grinned. “And you have no idea what that means, do you?”
“That the feelings aren’t mutual? He doesn’t really like me? Maybe because of the way I dress. Or because I went out with Miles. I never kissed Miles.”
“After Dan took me on our first real date, he did the same thing. He kind of warned me though. He’d been married before, so he understood what passion was. I was a divorcee, so I did as well. The kiss was amazing and when it was over he bolted.”
Bethany frowned. “I don’t understand.”
“I didn’t either, at first. I later realized it was because he felt the same things I did, and he was protecting us from going too far. He wanted us to experience that intimacy on our wedding night.”
“So, you’re saying he liked it too much and was afraid he wouldn’t be able to stop if we’d continued.”
“That’d be my guess.”
“I’ve never been kissed before. I thought maybe I’d done it wrong.”
“My guess is yo
u did it just fine given his reaction.”
Bethany sat back in the seat. “So now what? I’ve been avoiding the shop. Partly because I hurt all over and partly because I don’t know how to act around him.”
“Do you love him?”
“I’m not sure what that is, or what it looks like.”
“You’ll figure it out. It just takes time.”
“I think I’ve heard that in one of the mixes of music at work. So, I need to relax and wait?”
“Don’t shut Titus out. He might be scared. How much do you know about his past?”
“Not much. I met his mom.”
“That’s a pretty high honor, I think.”
“I’m selfish. How are things going with you, Skye? Still teaching that dancing exercise class at the gym?”
“I am…”
~*~
Bethany left to go home and change for the garage. Friday night was usually light on men working, but sometimes a few came in. Often Titus did. Her scooter was leaned against the back of the building beyond any hope of repair. She sighed. If she could save up the money, maybe a motorcycle would be a better investment next time around. Just a small one, but at least she could go faster than the scooter. Not that speed would have saved her.
Titus flagged her to come to the office.
She glanced at the board, went into the office, and took a seat.
“I wanted to let you know that your secret is out. The guys realize you are a woman. They’ve actually known longer than I have.”
“What?” She slumped. “I’ll go. I understand.”
“No, you don’t. Let me finish. They like your work and want you to continue serving here. Now maybe it helps that you sometimes bring donuts or cookies with you. I’m not sure, but they admire you. They were all pretty upset that Miles hurt you.”
“It’s not right. A woman shouldn’t be working alone with all these men. I’ll quit.”
“Why? Nothing has changed, Bethany Joelle. They like you and promise to keep you safe here. Besides, they all think I’m sweet on you.” Ty’s face grew pink.
“Well, that’ll have to stop then, won’t it?”
“Why? I thought you liked me.”
“I do, but after the other night…”
“I’m really sorry about that. It should have never gone that far, it’s just you’ve never let me in that close before…and I was afraid I would hurt you if we continued.”
“Instead you hurt me by leaving.”
“I could have done that with more grace, but you’re kisses pack more of a punch than I bargained for.”
Hope rose in her chest. “Really?”
“Really. I didn’t leave because I disliked you. I left because I liked what we were doing too much.”
“Oh. So, we can never kiss again?”
“I’d hate for that to happen.”
“Then what?”
“We need to take it slow and be more careful. I’m sorry I hurt you. I really do care about you.”
“I care about you too.”
Silence hung between them.
Bethany jumped to her feet. “I’d better get some work done.”
Titus nodded. “Me, too. I’m searching for more sources for parts since Miles is no longer helping us out.”
Before she could get out the door he spoke up again. “Will you be at church Sunday?”
“I was planning on it. I’m working tomorrow but have Sunday off.”
“Can I take you to lunch?”
Bethany stared at him for a moment and smiled. “Yeah. I’d like that.”
~*~
The phone rang when she got home.
Adele answered, but called for Bethany.
“Bethany Joelle?” the woman’s voice on the other end said.
“Yes?”
“This is Kristi. I’m wondering if we could get together for lunch on Sunday? I’ll drive over from Madison. I was so excited when Margaret told me she’d found you. I have some things that belong to you and wanted to explain a little about the past.”
“I already made lunch plans…with a guy. Would you mind if I brought him with me?”
“I would love to meet him, especially if you feel safer with him there. I understand this is weird after all these years.”
“Just a little awkward.”
They settled the details and Bethany clicked the end button. She pulled out her cell phone and dialed Titus.
“Hey, Bethany Joelle. Are you OK?”
“I’m fine. The foster mother I told you about, Kristi, wants to meet for lunch on Sunday.”
“That’s cool. I understand you need to break the date. Maybe we could do something together later?”
“I don’t want to break the date. Would you come with me to meet with her? I’d feel better if you were there.”
“Am I your security blanket?”
“And if you were?”
“I’d be honored.”
“Thanks, Titus. It really means a lot to me.”
“I know it does. Now get some rest. You have an early morning.”
“Sleep well, Ty.”
“You too, Bethany Joelle.”
She was to meet the foster mom who’d meant more to her than any other adult in her life. And perhaps come to understand the truth of what happened all those years ago. Was she ready for this?
~*~
Sunday arrived, and Bethany left her hair down. She put on a lightweight sea-foam green top with long sleeves so opaque she could see the scars on her arms. The bodice was not sheer though and pleats helped make it obvious she was a woman—not a boy. Her dark brown capris and tan sandals completed the ensemble. It wasn’t often she was worried about how she would appear.
Titus spied her and went to her side. “Skye is home with a sick kid today. Mind if I sit with you instead?”
“Are you sure? Everyone will assume we’re together.”
“We are, so they would be correct.”
She tried to hide her smile but failed. “Sure. I’d love to sit with you.”
He grabbed her hand as they walked to the auditorium. Warmth traveled up her arm and spread through her body. Did she glow? Did people notice the energy bursting out of her as she passed them? He led her to a row and allowed her to enter first so he would be on her right side.
“Is this so I can whisper in your ear?” she asked.
“No, so I can whisper in yours and hear your response.” He settled into the seat next to her.
She set her Bible on the floor along with a purse. Carrying one of those was weird because she usually didn’t need one. Her driver’s license and debit card fit in her pocket and she didn’t carry much cash. Her keys usually sat in another pocket.
But today she had lip gloss. And a phone. She was finally “adulting” as Jack would tease. And now she’d reached a new level with a purse and a man who made her pulse race.
In many ways, she’d been an adult for far longer than she should have. Emancipated at sixteen from the system, she tested out of high school to begin her career as a baker. For two years she took the bus and lived in a hovel of an apartment in a seedy part of Milwaukee. When she finally was able to get the job at the grocery store bakery, buy a car, and rent her space at Adele’s by age eighteen, she was already tired of “adulting.”
She attended church so rarely, every song seemed new to her, but she tried to follow along. The melodies were generally simple enough to catch onto.
The bulletin said Nikolos Acton was leading this morning. She’d heard some of his music on the radio at work. She enjoyed his style of worship leading. Today, she learned that “hallelujah” meant “God be praised.” She tried to think of that every time the word appeared on the screen and it added depth to what she sang.
Titus sang freely next to her. She was glad he was expressive that way. She’d be more conscious of her own singing if he weren’t joining in and the Bible said to make a “joyful noise.” She wasn’t sure how in tune her voice was, but
in the crowd, no one noticed. Would heaven sound like this?
Pastor Dan preached today. She settled in to listen as he talked about the illusion of independence. Ouch. At the core, every breath she took, every beat of her heart was dictated by God. She was never alone or out of His sight or notice. She’d never thought of that before. She’d always prided herself on not needing anyone, but she desperately needed God and always had. And others. The body of Christ? A family? She remembered Titus’s desire to draw her into the group at the garage. Now everyone knew she was a woman and the guys welcomed her as one of their own.
Was it bad that her only female “friends” were an eighty-five-year-old landlady and the perky pastor’s wife?
Her only real male friends were Jack, who was more like a father than a boss, and now, Titus.
Was that enough interdependence or was she expecting too much of too few people? They’d each poured themselves into her and what had she done? She’d not reciprocated.
Friendship went two ways, didn’t it?
Something she’d need to grow in if she wanted to be more fully adult. Mature. Christ-like.
Her head swam as the service ended and she was reluctant to stand to sing the final song. She wanted to sit and think about it all.
Titus stood.
She bent her head to pray. Think. Whatever one called those thoughts racing through her head.
Church was dismissed.
It barely registered with her.
How could she be an adult when today she would be dredging up her childhood? Facing shattered dreams and dashed hopes that sent her adrift in a dark, lonely, dangerous world.
A hand rested on her shoulder as Ty sank back into the seat next to her. “You OK?”
“Is Pastor Dan a mind reader?”
“No.”
“There’s too much to process with what he shared and what we’re about to do.”
“Hey, one step at a time. Rest in God and I’ll be there to support you. Whatever you need.”
“Except kisses.”
He laughed. “We’ll see. I won’t rule those out.”
She gave him a teary smile. “Could I have a hug right now?”
“Sure.” He wrapped his arms around her.
Bethany took deep breaths of his clean scent. Calming. She smiled. Maybe she was falling in love with this man. How could that even be possible?
~*~
Donuts and Detours Page 14
