Bethany shook her head. “I adore Titus.” She glanced up at him with tears in her eyes. “I really do, but I can never marry anyone.”
“So, what did you think we were then? Friends who occasionally kiss?” Titus tried to keep the anger out of his voice. He hadn’t seen this coming and he was tempted to kick Dan under the table for even bringing it up. But better to realize this now than to invest more time in a relationship that wouldn’t be going anywhere.
“I’m sorry. I really do like you a lot Titus, but I can’t ever see myself married.”
“I apologize for bringing this up.” Dan’s frown and the wrinkles between his brows gave evidence of his sincerity.
“I’m thinking it’s time for us to go.” Titus stood and started gathering up plates.
“You don’t need to clean up the table, Ty.” Skye reached over to touch Bethany Joelle’s arm. “I think we may need to talk, huh? But not today. Go home and get some rest and let us know how Adele fares with her surgery. Let me know when you’ll join me for a late lunch this week.”
Bethany stood. “Thank you. Lunch was wonderful. And congratulations.”
Skye enveloped her in a hug.
Titus ground his teeth together and gave Dan a nod. He called outside for Cooper who bounded in. Titus snatched the dog up and headed for the door with Bethany trailing behind.
Cooper rested in Bethany’s lap on the way to her home.
“Ty, I’m sorry if I hurt you.”
“But you’re not sorry for what you said.”
“No.”
“Then don’t bother apologizing.”
“Does this mean…?”
“No more kisses and hand holding? Yes. That’s exactly what it means. You know, I’ve waited a long time to fall in love with someone and the last thing I expected was to be kicked to the curb with no good explanation.”
“It’s not you. It’s me.”
“Humph. I don’t buy it. Fear has control of you. You’re afraid to trust someone. The one thing you want most—to be loved and have a family—is also the thing you fear.”
“People die on me. I don’t want you to die.”
“Stop being so superstitious. Dan struggles to accept that maybe this baby will live even though many died, but he didn’t kill it because of that.”
“You’re being ridiculous.”
“Am I? You’ll kill what we have together because you’re afraid I’ll die? What does that get you? You lose me all the sooner. Nice. Kill me now, or at least kick me out of your life because you’re afraid you might lose me sixty years from now? And what about all that time between now and then? I used to think that maybe God had you on a few detours on your way to happiness but now I wonder, how many of those were your own doing? This one certainly is.” He pulled into her driveway and jumped down to let her out. He shut her door keeping the dog in the car.
“I love you. You can’t kill that. But I can’t go on pretending everything’s fine when you won’t even trust in God enough to believe in an ‘us.’” He got back into the truck.
Bethany stood there.
He backed out of the driveway and hit the road for home. His apartment was empty. He slumped down in a chair and let the hurt bubble up to the surface of his heart.
Cooper snuggled into his lap.
His phone beeped to indicate a text from Bethany.
Adele passed away.
He shook his head. Another death for her to deal with, but what was his responsibility here? She’d already said there was no future for them. What did that mean now? How did he treat her as merely a friend when his heart was cracked and bleeding? He lifted the phone.
I’m sorry. She was a sweet woman. What do you need?
Be by my side for the funeral.
When?
I’ll let you know. I’ll be talking to the funeral home tomorrow. Perhaps Thursday.
Fine. I’ll be there. Let me know when and where.
Thanks, Ty.
He tossed the phone onto the coffee table, startling Cooper. He’d be a friend and he’d stand by her side at the funeral. Beyond that, he had no clue what he’d do. What if she decided to come back to the garage and he had to see her every day? How could he handle that?
~*~
She texted him again on Monday with the details. He shook his head. Why was he humoring her? She’d rejected him. But she’d not crushed him. He would get past this. Someday he’d find someone. Maybe. He didn’t think he was a great prize, but he’d always hoped he’d find that one woman…and obviously, he was wrong in thinking it was Bethany Joelle.
Someone had the oldies station on when he got to the garage, and of course, who would be singing? Billy Joel. Ah, yes, the old classic “Just the Way You Are.”. He loved Bethany the way she was and he didn’t want her to change for him. He only wished her faith was strong enough to let him in.
The guys at the garage gathered for prayer.
“How’s B.J. doing? She coming back anytime soon?” Will asked.
Titus shrugged. “Her landlady Adele passed away yesterday. The wake is Thursday from four to six with the funeral following. I’m sure she’d appreciate you all coming to offer your support.”
“How are the two of you doing? I saw you holding hands yesterday at church.”
“We’re done. She made it clear. Why don’t we pray?”
The men all took turns praying and then went about their tasks.
Sam came up to Titus. “Why are you ‘done’ with B.J.?”
“She made it clear she wanted to be nothing more than friends.”
“Love doesn’t turn off that easily, Ty.”
“Who said I loved her?”
“You didn’t need to say it. But we all see it. Don’t give up on her. Not yet.” Sam patted him on the shoulder and walked away.
“I need to give up. I can’t do this to myself anymore. Hoping for something that’s impossible,” he whispered.
I specialize in the impossible.
Titus turned around. No one was there. “So, what? Are You saying that I’m the one who is lacking faith in You, Jesus?”
Silence.
He shook his head and went to help Will on a head gasket. Better than talking to himself in the conference room. Someone might think he was crazy. And maybe he was, because Sam was right. He still loved Bethany Joelle Hanson and had no idea how to turn that off.
~*~
Tuesday was busy with tow truck runs, but his mom managed to catch him on the phone over the lunch hour.
“What’s going on with you and Bethany Joelle?” she asked.
“Why do you ask?” He rolled his eyes grateful his mother couldn’t see him.
“Because I talked to her last night. She told me about Adele and that she asked you to come to the funeral. Why would that dear girl even need to ask that?”
“Because that ‘dear girl’ has made it clear that she doesn’t want me for anything more than a friend.”
“What? She can’t be serious.”
“She was. I told her I would come to the funeral but that was it. I’m done.”
“You’re not done, though are you? I know you, Titus. You’ve never given your heart like this before.”
“Carly—”
“She was lust—not love—and you know it.”
Titus remained silent.
“Listen. I’m praying. Besides, I also have a new boyfriend for you to meet soon. Chuck is a great guy. A pilot.”
“Aiming high?”
“Too funny. I think you’ll like him. Listen. I’m heading out for a flight to New York. I’ll be back soon and maybe we can talk more then.”
“No interfering. I don’t need you giving Bethany a sales pitch for me. If she has to be convinced, she’s not the girl for me.”
“I can pray. God is far more convincing than I am anyway.”
“Fine. Love you, Mom. See you.”
“I love you too.”
Titus hung up and threw the rest of his lunch
away. He wasn’t hungry anymore. Why couldn’t everyone leave him alone? Life was bigger than one woman. He had a job to do, a ministry to run, a dog, and friends. He didn’t need Bethany Joelle Hansen in his life.
But oh, how he wanted her anyway.
~*~
Skye opened the door and let her in. “I brought you some fresh baked bread.” Bethany offered the loaves.
“What, no cookies? The kids will be disappointed.”
“Well, the one is a cinnamon loaf. Great for toast in the morning.”
“You might have saved yourself.”
They walked to the kitchen.
“Can I make you a sandwich? Salad?”
“No. Thanks. I’m not hungry.”
“You’ve lost weight and I get the feeling you’re not eating much at any time. What’s going on?”
“Adele.”
“Yes, I’m so sorry about you losing her. Dan and I will come to the funeral. My mom said she’d take the kids for us.”
“Thanks. This has all gone too easy. She had set up all the arrangements. One phone call and everything was in place. The only thing I needed to do was bring her favorite dress and makeup to the funeral home. A few phone calls to main people and the word was out and I had nothing left to do. I’m grateful, but it’s all surreal. I can’t believe she’s gone. She was so vibrant and the most stable home I’ve ever been in.”
“Will you need to move?”
“No. There was a list of things to gather and I’ll be bringing them to the funeral for the family. They are barred from the property. This woman saved a ton of money. She left some to her church, some to The Garage ministry and the rest…to me. They’ll all hate me. I had no idea she was worth that much.”
“She left you the house and land?”
Bethany nodded. “And you know what’s even worse?”
“What?”
“Miles is her great-grandson. She never said a word, but I suspect she was aware of what happened between him and me.”
“Did she make that will afterward?”
“No. She made it years ago. She left accounts all over the place with various family members named as beneficiaries. But Miles gets probably the smallest amount of money from one of those. He’s still in jail so he’ll not realize it yet.”
“Are you saying you now own a house, free and clear? And are you wealthy?”
“I’m not wealthy, but at least comfortable. I still can’t believe it although Mr. Rodriquez declares it to be true.”
“Wow.”
“I know, right? I’ll likely have some hefty taxes to pay but after that? I really don’t need to work if I don’t want to.”
“Will you quit your job?”
“What would I do? I might cut my hours. I can afford better health insurance now.”
“You’ve not had any all this time?”
“I had some but had to pay into it a lot. I could barely afford that and it didn’t cover much.”
“Wow. That’s the kind of windfall I would have loved when I was living alone with two kids after my divorce. I struggled every month worrying about whether I’d be able to pay the rent. I was on public assistance for food and help with paying the fuel but still…”
“I’m sorry you had to go through that.”
Skye grinned. “Yeah but this handsome pastor moved in across the hall and my entire world turned around. And look where I am today. An accomplished artist, married, with a beautiful home, a man who adores me, two beautiful healthy kids and another on the way. It was a rough road getting here, but when I remember all God has done, it makes me appreciate the blessings even more.”
“So, you’re not jealous?”
“Why would I be jealous? Yes, you have a house. Money. But Bethany, you spurned a great man who adores you. He’s been there for you and you won’t give him a chance. What if the real reward is trusting God by letting Titus be all he longs to be to you?”
“He’s a marrying kind of man.”
“What’s wrong with that?”
“I have no idea what it is to be married. To have what you and Dan experience. I’ve so little understanding of that. I’m afraid I would hurt him. Fail him. He deserves better.”
Skye shook her head. “I didn’t know either and it terrified me stepping into a role of pastor’s wife that Dan’s first wife held. Sharon was loved by so many people. Dan adored her. I had a horrible first marriage and was new to my faith in Christ. It was a huge step of faith to trust God, and Dan, and step into that future. But I’m glad I did. Sure we have our struggles. Kids are a challenge and now with the new baby coming, it raises all kinds of emotional pain for Dan. But we’ll get through this. He was afraid too. If you don’t have some fear, I’d be worried about you.”
“So, the fear is good?”
“I think it’s better to be realistic about the challenges ahead than to be so starry-eyed you think everything will be wonderful all the time. Life isn’t a fairytale and any happily-ever-after story only ends at a high point. Life goes on with its ups and downs. You’ve had more downs perhaps, but it’s made you who you are today. Yes, we need to trust God, but if you seek Him and he says Titus is your man to hold on to, don’t ever let him go. You’ll regret it in the long run.”
Bethany sighed. “There’s too much to think about right now. My head is spinning. I should get going. I’m almost done packing up stuff for Thursday and I’ve been so tired. While I will have money, I don’t quite have it yet. I still need to work the rest of this week.”
“Will you be returning to The Garage?”
“I’d like to…but it will be weird if Titus and I are still at odds.”
“Here’s something to think about. If Titus were to die today, would you have regrets?”
“What a horrible thing to say.” Bethany’s heart raced at the thought.
“Think about it. It might help you understand where your heart really is in regard to your relationship with him.”
Bethany left. Entering her car, she blinked back the tears. If she never saw Titus again? Her heart would crumble into a million pieces. Would she regret never having given them a chance?
Yes. Most definitely yes.
Did she have the faith to take a step in that direction?
And would Ty even be willing to forgive her faithlessness?
Would God?
20
Life is too short to worry about anything.
You had better enjoy it because
the next day promises nothing.
Eric Davis
Bethany’s heart raced when Titus walked into the funeral home. He cleaned up well, but a suit and tie? The man could be on the front of a magazine, and not one for mechanics. Her mouth watered and when he looked her way she met his gaze with eyebrows raised.
He gave her a nod and strode over to her. Even his shoes had a polish to them. He’d shaved off his beard too. “Bethany Joelle. You look lovely in that dress.”
“I figured Adele deserved me at my best even if it’s uncomfortable.”
“Why? You’re stunning. Are you afraid others will see you as an attractive woman? You are, you know. Beautiful.”
“Thanks. You can stop now.” She reached up to touch his smooth cheek. “Why’d you shave it off? I was always partial to your beard.”
“What does it matter?”
“You’re drop dead gorgeous no matter what your facial hair. But you look so different.”
“I could say the same about you in that dress. And are you wearing makeup? Is that why you wanted me here? To fight off all the men who will be panting after you?”
“You can stop, Titus. This is a funeral. Not a party where I am seeking a conquest.”
“Right. You don’t want one anyway. Forgive me.”
She placed her hand on his sleeve. “I was wrong about that. We’ll talk another time but I’m sorry I hurt you. I was wrong. I only pray you’ll forgive me and give me a chance to explain.”
“Fine. We�
�ll talk.”
She led him over to where the open casket was placed, surrounded by a garden of flowers. “We’re supposed to stand here, I guess. Her instructions. She didn’t want the family to be planning her funeral.”
“So why me?”
Bethany smiled. “Moral support. I suspect her family will not be pleased. Mr. Rodriguez said he’d be coming too at some point. He plans to meet with the family after the service. Can you stay for that?”
“If you need me. Yes.”
“I want you there. I’ve spent too much of my life not needing or wanting anyone. I’m trying to change.”
“If you say so.” His soft words were almost lost as people started to arrive.
Throughout the two-hour gauntlet of old friends of Adele’s and family who bypassed her for the casket, Titus was faithful in providing a stool and later bottled water. He escorted her out when the funeral director dictated she leave along with family for the closing of the casket.
Bethany sniffed at her last glance at the dear woman who gave her so much. A safe place to live and to be accepted for who she was. And now a future. Had Adele counted the cost of that future for Bethany? Money couldn’t obscure the resentment simmering amongst the family members—all directed at her.
Titus stood by her side, silent for the majority of the night. A gentle hand on her back offered support and a frown appeared when threats were perceived. A couple times she noticed he swallowed his own tears.
The service was short and sweet. Kind words spoken by Adele’s pastor warmed Bethany’s heart. The woman was good to others as much as she had been to her.
After the service, Roberto Rodriguez approached.
“Mr. Rodriguez, is it OK if Titus comes with me for this?”
“That’s fine. Come this way.”
They entered a conference room and Titus nudged her toward a seat near Roberto. He sat on the other side as if he meant to be a wall of protection.
The other family members came in and sat. A few stood around the perimeter of the room.
“I’m Roberto Rodriguez, retained by Adele McElroy to handle her legal needs. Miss Bethany Joelle Hanson is the designated power of attorney and executor of the estate. In accordance with the wishes dictated by Mrs. McElroy, Miss Hanson has prepared and brought with her all the items from the home that are specified in the will to be distributed now to the family.
Donuts and Detours Page 19
