by Mort Gloss
****
"How'd she survive the trip?" asked Tom, hunching over as he examined the front driver's side of the Cadillac.
"She looks just like she did when we took off," answered Russ, barely paying attention. He was enamored by the bright blues, greens, and reds of the alien landscape. The stark red "Porcupine Pipe" letters emblazoned on the sides of the Coupe seemed dim when compared to the alien vegetation surrounding the travelers. Victory had already buried her face in the opening pages of her book.
"I'm asking the supergenius, Gibson, not you."
Balloon, busy unharnessing the Coupe from the single-wide, answered: "She doin' jist fine. Ain't got no scratch on her, 'n that engine's gonna purr like a kitty cat."
"The Coupe doesn't purr," responded Tom, "she growls."
"That too," added Balloon.
As Balloon removed the final constraints from the Coupe, Russ stared intently at the sky. Far above the surface of the planet, he could see what appeared to be winged creatures circling above them. "Balloon," he asked, pointing into the sky, "what are those?"
Tom answered before Balloon had a chance. "They're called birds, genius; we have those back home."
"Something seems different about them," responded Russ, not completely paying attention.
"Yeah, they probably are different, since we're in a different galaxy and stuff," said Tom.
"We's all set to jet," said Balloon in an excited voice.
The four travelers took their places inside the Coupe: Tom at the driver's seat; Russ in the passenger's seat; Victory and Balloon in the back.
"Careful, you two," said Tom, as Balloon and Victory simultaneously entered the Coupe from different sides of the vehicle, "I'm not sure these alien dudes are going to have replacement shocks for the Caddy."
Tom turned the key and the Coupe roared to life. Led Zeppelin's "Immigrant Song" blared from its upgraded sound system. "That's what I'm talkin' about!" yelled Tom. He and Russ simultaneously rolled down their windows.
"Alright, Balloon," said Russ over the loud music, "tell us which way to go."
Balloon leaned into the center of the back seat and peered out the front window. "Alls y'all gotta do is follow that there road a grass between them bushes there," he said, pointing straight ahead.
"Will do," responded Tom, slamming his foot on the gas pedal as he spoke. The pristine turf beneath the Coupe uprooted and shot backward as the travelers began their first alien road trip.
