by L. P. Dover
I’ll give her the time she needs, even if it drives me in-fucking-sane in the process. I have to do it for her. I can’t force her to complete the bond with me, even though I know deep down she desires me; she just hates me too.
When I get home from the bar, I pack my bags. Zayne and I have clients to see in Seattle and Portland. We’ll be gone for three days, and already I'm not too fond of the thought of being separated from Kami. Not that she needs any protection because I know she can take care of herself, but I have the connection to see if she needs help. It’s the thought of being away from her and knowing she hates me. That’s the worst part of all. I want to be close to her, to make her see I’m not the douchebag she thinks I am. Granted, I haven’t given her a reason to think otherwise until tonight. I gave her a glimpse of the other side of me, but I know it wasn’t enough. If eight weeks of space is what she needs, I’ll give it to her. After that, it’s game on. I’m not giving her any more chances to push me away.
Once all packed, I grab my cell off the bed and walk out the back door to the patio. There’s only one person who can help me with Kami. I press Faith’s number and wait for her to pick up.
“Hello, hello,” Faith answers. “You’re calling a little late.”
“I know. I’m sorry. There’s something I need to tell you, and I’m hoping you can give me some advice.”
She laughs. “Wow. My big brother is asking for help? I thought you knew how to do everything.”
“And I do,” I joke, “but this is serious.”
“I’m all ears. What’s going on?”
I blow out a breath. “Kami’s my mate.” The line goes silent, and I know she’s probably wondering if she heard me right.
“Are you serious? How did it happen?” she asks, sounding excited.
“Don’t get all happy on me, sis. Kami wants nothing to do with me. That’s why I need your advice. I know what I have to do, but I don’t want to do it.”
“Okay, okay, first of all, I’m shocked she hasn’t called to tell me. I want to hear everything, so start from the beginning. How did you find out Kami was your mate?”
Deep down, I think I’ve known ever since I started dreaming about her a couple of months ago. I haven’t told anyone about the dreams. “I woke up this morning, and it just happened,” I say.
She snorts. “That’s it? You weren’t with Kami at all?”
“That depends on what you mean by with her.”
“Oh, my God, just tell me,” she demands. “I literally can’t contain my excitement right now.”
At least someone is excited. The second I knew Kami was my mate, I knew it wouldn’t be an easy road. She’s headstrong and independent. “It started a couple of months ago when I started having dreams of her,” I begin.
She gasps. “Dreams? What kind of dreams?”
I look up at the stars in the sky. There were several I had with Kami where we stared up at them. The first time I kissed her, we were at the beach, staring up at the same stars. “Dreams where we were just together,” I reply.
“Could she see you in them?”
Her statement gives me pause. That’s not the sort of question I thought she’d ask. “Why do you want to know that?”
“Because I need to. Could Kami see you in them?”
“No. She would always say I was a blur. She couldn’t hear me either when I talked to her.”
“Oh. My. God. I don’t know what to think right now. This is pretty crazy.”
“What is?”
She blows out a breath and laughs. “Hear me out. So, a couple of months ago, when Tate and I first found out we were mates, Kami had a dream about us. She’ll kill me if she knows I’m telling you this, but her dreams have been coming true. When she touches an unmated female wolf, she dreams about them and their mates. She’s already paired up three couples now. The biggest thing is she’s also been dreaming about her mate, only she can’t see him because he’s blurry.”
Could it be possible that we’ve shared the same dreams this whole time? It’s the only thing that makes sense since I can hear her thoughts after taking her blood. That means she was physically in the dream. What’s also important is that she was given a gift. In a way, maybe I’ve been given one too since I experienced the dreams as well. The Great Luna only bestows those privileges to those she deems worthy. I can only hope she thought it was time for me to know who my mate is.
“Did she ever tell you what she and her mate do in the dreams?” I ask.
Faith clears her throat. “Well, I think some were a little hot and heavy. Is that what you dreamt of too?”
I close my eyes, remembering every single detail of our times together. Her body fits in my arms as if she were meant to be there. “She’s beautiful. How could I not?”
“If you’ve been sharing the same dreams, that’s some serious magic. Does she know?”
“No,” I snap, opening my eyes. “I’m not ready to tell her. All I know is that in our last dream, I got carried away and bit her. The second I tasted her blood, I jolted awake. That’s when I knew she was my mate. I could feel it in my soul. And …”
A few seconds pass. “And what?” Faith asks, her voice impatient.
“And I can hear her thoughts, Faith, at least until she shut me out. She suspects I might be able to, so she’s shielding her thoughts from me. I also know she wants to get rid of her dreams. Tia’s supposed to help her with some kind of herbal tea.”
She gasps. “Wow. This is crazy. Have you seen Kami today?”
Groaning, I run a hand over my face. “Yep. I let my anger get the best of me when I saw her at the bar with her FBI buddies. And this is where it gets fucked.” I blow out a sigh. I lost my temper, and I regret it. She already thinks I’m an arrogant ass. “When she went with me outside, I laid it all out for her. I told her we were mates, and she flat out said there’s no way in hell it’s possible. She said we’re two different people.”
“I see. So, I guess Kami plans to fight it.”
I can pick up on when someone’s feeding me bullshit, and Kami’s one of them. Even if I couldn’t hear her thoughts, I would’ve known. She may be able to fool some, but not me. “She’s going to fight it hard too,” I say. “It makes me wonder how long it’ll last. The woman has the hardest head of anyone I know.”
“That she does,” Faith laughs. “She’s also one who believes in finding her mate on her own terms. I know she respects our shifter magic, but she doesn’t want to be told who her mate is. I had this conversation with her not long ago.”
That’s not what I wanted to hear. If Kami fights against our bond, there’s no telling how long she’ll last. Hell, I don’t know how long I will, especially with hearing her thoughts. I have to find a way to break her down. That is if she even lets me get close to her.
“She wants space for the next eight weeks while she’s in training,” I say. “I told her I’d give her that.”
“Wow,” she replies, sounding shocked. “Usually, you’re a take what you want no matter the consequences type of guy.”
“So, I am the dickhead she thinks I am.”
Faith sighs. “No, you’re not, Colin. You just haven’t shown her who you really are. All she’s seen is the cocky alpha side of you.”
“What if she doesn’t give me a chance to show her? If I push her too hard, she’ll push back, and it won’t end well for me.”
“No. It won’t. I think you’re doing the right thing by giving Kami space. She’s probably expecting you to show your ass and demand her time. Lay low and see what happens.”
This is where I need her help. I don’t want to lay low and give her space. My wolf wants to be close to her; he needs it. I can hide my power from other wolves with being a royal, but I want backup just in case.
“Do you still have the black carmine stone?” I ask her. Laila had given her the black carmine stone to protect her from being found when Tia and Killian hunted her. It can keep others from sensing your energy. That�
��s what I need. I want to be able to watch over Kami without her knowing.
Faith laughs. “I think I see where this is going. But yes, I have it. I’ll give it to you.”
“Thanks, sis. Zayne and I are heading up to Seattle tomorrow morning for work, and once we’re done, I’ll make a detour to you. Sound good?”
“I’ll see you then. And Colin?”
I look up at the stars, wondering if I’ll see Kami in my dreams tonight. She wants Tia to stop them, but I’m hoping I can get one more in. “Yeah?”
“Be patient. Things will work out.”
I fucking hope so. Unfortunately, I’m afraid it’s going to be a long, hard road before it does.
11
Kami
I’m exhausted, and my eyes feel like sandpaper. I guess that’s what happens when you refuse to sleep. I knew if I did, Colin would be in my dreams. I was half-tempted to touch Amelie last night, so I could see who her mate is, but I didn’t want to do it without her knowledge. She doesn’t know about my magic yet, but I plan on telling her.
I walk downstairs, and Amelie is on the couch, reading a book. Keeping her eyes on the pages, she smiles. “Long night? I heard you pace until the sun came up this morning.”
Yawning, I walk over to the couch, and she moves her legs so I can sit. I have thirty minutes to relax before I have to leave for training. “Does that mean you didn’t sleep either?”
She closes her book and sets it on the coffee table. “It’s summertime. I don’t like sleeping it away. School starts back up in a couple of weeks, so I’ll be too busy grading papers to read.”
“How do you like being a teacher?”
Her eyes light up. “I love it. Second graders are the cutest things ever. I keep hoping they’ll stay that way, but as we all know, they grow up and change.”
Yes, they do. Some grow up to be monsters like the psychopath who killed Samantha Teller. Some get their innocence taken away. And then, you have those who actually make a difference in the world. I live in two different worlds, and both are scary places.
“Do you want kids?” I ask her.
Nodding, she averts her gaze to the window, and the sun makes her gray eyes twinkle. “I do. My mother couldn’t wait for me to have them. It hurts my heart knowing she’ll never meet them when I do.” Her parents were murdered just like so many other wolves when it comes to power plays. They were pawns in a sick game. Amelie blows out a sigh and wipes away the tear that fell down her cheek. “Let’s talk about dinner. What do you want tonight?”
I gasp. “Speaking of dinner, Tia’s coming into town sometime this morning. Is it okay if she stays here with us?”
She waves a hand in the air. “Of course. The more, the merrier. You don’t have to ask.” She gets up and walks into the kitchen to grab the orange juice out of the refrigerator. “She can stay as long as she wants.”
I get up and join her in the kitchen. My stomach growls, so I grab a banana out of the fruit bowl. “Thanks, Amelie.” I unpeel it and take a bite. “This weekend, I’ll make you some of my famous blueberry muffins and lasagna.”
Amelie’s grin widens. “I look forward to that.” Keeping her eyes on me, she takes a sip of her juice. “Anything new with Colin?”
Shaking my head, I take another bite of my banana. It’s taken a lot of concentration to keep my thoughts to myself. I’m so afraid Colin opened the link. I don’t like the idea of him being able to see the deepest, darkest parts of my soul. There are things I think about I don’t want to share with him.
“He says he’s going to give me my eight weeks of space so I can focus on my training.”
“Do you believe him?”
I shrug. “I don’t know. For the first time, Colin seemed somewhat genuine.”
Amelie sits down at the kitchen table and holds her glass of juice. “You’re obviously worried about something since you didn’t sleep last night.”
I take another bite of my banana. “I stayed up so I wouldn’t dream about him.”
Her brows furrow. “Do you dream about Colin every night?”
I nod. “For the most part. I haven’t told you any of this, but I’ve been having dreams of shifters and their mates before they even realize they’re mates.”
Confusion sweeps across her face. “Like magic?”
“Yes.” I glance down at her bare hands holding her juice. “When I touch an unmated female, that night I’ll have a dream about her and her mate. I’ve predicted four matches already, including Faith and my brother.”
Her mouth drops, and she starts to speak but then stops. “I don’t know what to say. That’s an extraordinary gift.” Brows furrowed, she looks down at her hands and then over to me. “You know, I thought I noticed something strange when I’d get near you, and you’d move away.”
Sheepishly, I hang my head and laugh. “Sorry. It’s nothing personal.” I lift my head and shrug. “Well, no, it kind of is. If I touched you, I’d dream about you and your future mate. That is very personal. I didn’t want to do anything without your permission. But if you want to know who he is, I’ll do it for you.”
She stares at me, and I know she’s contemplating it. I can see the temptation in her eyes, but in the end, she shakes her head. “A part of me wants to know, but the other part wants to wait and see what happens. I’m not ruling it out though.”
I smile. “I understand. I’m ready when you are.” Even though I don’t want to dream about Colin, I’d take the chance to help her out. I want to see my friends mated and happy. I look over at the microwave clock and sigh. “I need to get ready to go.”
Amelie finishes her juice. “And I’ll get the other bedroom ready for Tia.” She gets up and puts her cup in the sink, and then turns back to me. “So, if you’re dreaming about Colin, that means he is your mate, right?”
“So it would seem,” I say, averting my gaze. “Tia has some herbs that’ll help me sleep. I’m not ready for any of this. I don’t know why the goddess of the moon would do this to me when she knows I can’t stand the guy.”
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Amelie move toward me. I know she’s going to have something wise to say. Her words of wisdom always make me think twice, and it scares me. I don’t want to second guess myself.
“Do you really despise him, Kami? What has he done to you that would warrant such animosity? Yes, Colin’s picked on you, but you always picked back. He tried to protect you from that drunk human who tried to show you his man parts, and I know that got you angry because you said you could protect yourself. And last night, he got a little carried away when Sawyer touched you.” Why does she always have to make valid points? When I don’t look at her, she sits back down at the kitchen table. “Look at me, Kami. You know I’m right.” Maybe she does have a point. I look at her, and she starts to reach for my hands and stops. “I didn’t realize how hard it was going to be not touching you,” she says, moving her hands to her lap.
“Once Tia gets here with the herbs, I’m hoping to get a break from the dreams. It won’t matter who I touch then.”
Amelie’s gaze saddens. “Such a shame for you to want to get rid of them. It’s a gift.”
“It’s only temporary, Amelie. I need a break from it for a while. I’ll be back to wolfy matchmaking soon.”
She nods and moves closer, her eyes boring into mine as if she can see into my soul. “You never answered my question, Kami. Why do you hate Colin so much?”
I snort. “He’s arrogant and thinks he’s God’s gift to women.”
Her eyes twinkle with mischief. “Okay, so he’s been with other women. Haven’t you been with other men?”
“Yeah, but I don’t parade them around.”
She grins even wider. “Want to know what I think?”
“You’re going to tell me anyway,” I retort.
Her smile slowly fades, and she sighs. “I believe the hatred you feel comes from this. Colin’s a good-looking man and protective of the people he cares about. Yes, he can
be a little arrogant and show off his power to others, but that’s the allure of a royal. That’s why so many women go after him. You don’t want to want him, so you turned that need into hate. Deep down, I don’t think you loathe him at all.”
I stare at her as if she’s lost her mind, but in all honesty, has she? What if what she says is true? I’ve spent so much time despising Colin that I don’t know what’s real and what’s not.
“That’s crazy,” I say to her.
Her brows lift. “Is it?”
I’m running out of time, so I push my chair back and stand. “I need to get ready.”
She looks up at me and smiles. “Just think about what I’ve said. Finding your true mate is a gift, Kami. Get through your training and become the FBI agent you were meant to be. You have a chance to have it all. Colin will be the piece that binds it all together.”
My mind is a jumbled mess, and I don’t know what feelings to grasp onto. I’m confused, and I have no clue what’ll help me to think straight. The only thing that comes to mind is silence. Everything with Colin and my dreams have taken over my life. What I need is to separate from that so I can think for myself. Stopping my dreams and getting space from Colin for a little while is the only solution I can come up with.
Amelie can see the turmoil in my eyes, and she frowns. “You’ll get through this. I know you will. You’re a strong woman, Kami. Whatever you decide to do will be the right decision.”
“Thanks,” I say, rubbing a hand over my aching chest. “I have a lot to think about.” I leave her to go to my room, and I shut the door behind me. My eyes burn, but I hold back the tears. I have to stick to the plan. If Colin is my mate, I can’t make it easy on him. For the next eight weeks, I need to forget about him. After that, we’ll see what happens.
12
