by Amy Marie
“I need you to stay calm, stay still. Don’t fight us, honey. You’re going to be okay. You’re the patient this time around.” He laughed softly.
I held his gaze as I heard the nurses around me. The scanners were working, and I felt the pinch of needles. I was in so much pain, but still, I kept our connection. I blinked as the tears fell, and the darkness once again beckoned to me.
I’m so tired, but you have to know. I’ve always… loved you…
The machines began to wail as my eyes fluttered closed again. The sound of a stuttering heartbeat and then a flat tone.
“Kai!”
Chapter 4
Damien
She’s alive. We were able to stabilize her. But my god, she didn’t make it easy. She’s critical and barely holding on. The sound of those machine alarms as she slipped away... it’s a sound I never wanted to hear again. For the brief moment she opened her eyes and refused to look away, I felt that maybe she was trying to tell me how she felt about me... about us. That maybe she could rest easy knowing she had finally told me the truth.
While Carris tried to keep her calm, professional demeanor in place, I watched the tears run down her face as we worked our damnedest to save Kai. Our team stayed steady, even when panic wanted to set in. One misstep, one moment of letting our guard down, and I’d have a different story to tell Kai’s parents.
At this moment, she was stable enough to be moved to surgery. She was in good hands, and I knew the surgeon who was mending her internal injuries was the best trauma surgeon at SGH. As the OR team rolled her toward the surgical unit, Carris and I followed the gurney down the hallway as far as we could.
“Dr. Winkler, we’re going to give her our best. I assure you,” the team’s head nurse vowed to me as we ran. “We’ll update you and Kai’s family as often as we can.”
“Please. Just... Please, Bailey.” I had held myself together for as long as I could. The anguish and despair were threatening to swallow me whole.
As Bailey hit the plate to open the doors, she looked at me with determination and a fearless fight in her eyes. “Damien, you have my word. Trust us, okay? The best is taking care of her.”
I shook my head in the affirmative. The doors of the room closed with a whoosh. All I could do was stare through the tiny window as the woman I loved and almost lost made the next step in her journey to coming back to me. At that moment, I sent up a prayer to Mrs. Carmen.
Keep her safe, but send her back to me.
Silence fell except for my heavy breathing. The adrenaline was starting to wane, and I was feeling the drop. I ran my hand over my face and heaved a sigh. This day wasn’t even close to done. I still had to go back to trauma and deal with the Florians.
And Kai’s fucking boyfriend, Easton Delacourt.
By now, I knew they would be in the waiting room, treating my staff as if they were something on the bottom of their designer shoes. Most parents would hopefully have a heart and compassion for the people saving their child. Sadly, Drake and Leah Florian had neither.
Delacourt only gave a damn about what Kai’s name and money could give him. He spent more time away from her than he did with her. But he loved her. Sure he did. His face left a bitter taste in my mouth, and the way he treated Kai as if she was just a piece of property he was acquiring made me rage. I don’t know how I stayed out of jail when all I wanted to do was smash in his pretty-boy face whenever he was around.
Behind me, I heard Carris slide down the wall. I turned to see her head on her lap, her arms clasped around her legs, and she was shaking with the force of her tears. We were both a mess, from our scrubs to our broken hearts. I kneeled down in front of her and pulled her into a hug. For a few moments, she cried, and we didn’t say a word. We didn’t have to.
“We have to get back, Doc. We’ve done all we can do except pray,” she whispered, a few moments after her tears had ended.
“Already done. Let’s go.”
I stood up and gave her my hand. With a grunt, she rose to her feet. With one last glance toward the OR, we left the unit and made the long walk back to the ER, to face Kai’s privileged parents and her colleagues anxiously waiting and hoping for good news.
Later that night...
Kai had been in surgery for nearly two hours. The only update we’d gotten from Bailey was that the surgery was going well. There was nothing left to do but wait. Drake and Leah had been contacted, and I was waiting for them to arrive any time now at SGH. Carris had called Delacourt to let him know about Kai’s accident and surgery. I found it interesting she'd left several messages, and he had yet to answer.
We were back on call. The trauma team was quiet and concerned as we continued our shift. I saw them pacing, staring at the clock, and discreetly asking Carris for any updates on Kai as they carried on taking care of their other patients. We really were a family here. If one of us hurt, then we all did.
The night seemed to drag on, but as Kai’s surgery moved into its third hour, I heard raised voices at the information desk.
“Where is my daughter? I want to see her now!”
“What is going on? Where is she? Take us to her!”
“Please, sir. Ma’am! I’m sorry, but you’re going to have to lower your voice and have some care and respect for the other people in this lobby,” I heard our receptionist telling the Florians.
“I don’t give a fuck about anyone here! Who’s in charge here? Where’s your goddamn boss? I will have your job tonight! Get your boss out here!”
“Mr. and Mrs. Florian,” I stated in a stern voice as I rounded the desk. It was Drake who looked at me with disdain and impatience, even though I was the one who held all the answers to his questions.
“Not now, Damien,” he sneered at me. “I’m trying to find out what’s going on with my daughter.”
I was so sick of this man doing everything possible to belittle me. Enough was enough. We’d played this game for years, and it was over. I was going to have my place in Kai’s life, whether they wanted it or not. Especially after tonight.
“If you want to know, then you might want to calm down and follow me to the surgical unit waiting room.”
I moved us quickly toward surgery as they continued to shout questions and demands. How dare I do this? Why didn’t I do that? I had no right to do anything because I wasn’t her next of kin. They knew so little about their daughter. Kai had given me medical power of attorney years ago, just in case something like this ever happened. My patience snapped when they threatened to have Kai moved from SGH. We finally made it to the surgical unit, and I turned on them to shut. This. Down.
“Be quiet!”
The Florians were suddenly silent. Finally, I had their attention.
“Kai was in a horrible accident. Lex was on scene and got her here. She’s got two broken legs, a head injury, and some internal bleeding. Carris and our team stabilized her, and she’s in surgery now. This is the third hour. She’s critical.”
Leah’s eyes filled with tears, and for once, it seemed she was hurting over the pain her daughter was in. “Oh my god. No…not my baby. No.” She clung to her husband and sobbed.
Drake stared at me with a stunned expression as he wrapped his arms around his wife. He was shaking his head with disbelief. “Is she going to die, Damien?”
It was then the trauma surgeon came out of the OR. “Mr. and Mrs. Florian?”
“Yes? Do you have news on our daughter?” Leah begged him. She moved from her husband’s arms and stepped closer to me. I don’t think she even realized she placed her hand in mine.
“Ma’am, I’m Dr. Daniel Corson. I’m a colleague of your daughter, and yes, I have some news. She made it through surgery, but the next few hours are going to be crucial. She was in bad shape, and we almost lost her. We stopped the bleeding.
“Now we have to worry about infection. Her legs were crushed and she’s going to need more surgery once the swelling goes down. Honestly, her recovery is going to take months. She nee
ds rest and time. We’re going to keep Dr. Florian in a medically-induced coma until we feel she can tolerate the pain and to allow her body to heal. In some cases, that can be up to twenty days. We’re going to have to see how she responds.”
“But she’s alive? We didn’t lose her?” Drake asked in a pained whisper.
“A lot of good things happened tonight. She was given a fighting chance by Dr. Winkler and his team. I just batted cleanup. Thank him.“
Kai’s mother squeezed my hand in acknowledgment. “Can we see her?”
“Once she’s out of the OR, she’s going straight to the ICU. It will be a few hours before you can see her. I’d suggest you rest up, and please be patient. This won’t be an overnight process. I need to get back to her. Any other questions?”
“Thanks, Daniel. Go. I’ll take it from here.”
He clasped my upper arm and gave me a dog-tired smile. “Fine job, Damien. You and Carris are badass.”
We bumped fists, and he headed back toward the OR.
So much could happen over the next three weeks, but one thing was for sure. I wasn’t leaving Kai’s side. I’d be here every day, and when she woke up, it would be my face she would see.
Then I was going to do whatever took to get her well. We were finally going to talk about what we felt, hell, what we’ve been feeling for each other since we were kids. No more of this quiet friend zone bullshit.
I’m claiming what’s mine.
Day One
This has been the longest twelve hours of my life. She made it through surgery. I promised her I wouldn’t leave her side, not until she woke up. My shift in the ER was long over, and the last update from Carris’s call to the floor was that Kai was resting, and there had been no more complications.
She still had a long fight ahead of her. Broken legs. Weeks of physical therapy to learn to walk again, and at this point, it was still too early to know how extensive her brain injury may be. Still, I know the woman lying in bed ten was a fighter. She was strong like her grandmother. She wouldn’t give up until she was back bossing techs around in the research lab.
I loved her spunk and her fire, but lately, I was feeling that spark beginning to dim, and it worried me. She was staying away from Lex, Carris, and me and spending more and more time in the lab. When she wasn’t there, she was putting in appearances for her parents with the Savannah elite on the arm of that asshole.
As I stepped into the ICU, the first thing that hit me was the silence, except for the beeping of monitors and the hiss of ventilators. It was eerie and made a chill crawl down my back. Crazy as it sounded, but I’d take the noise and the hustle of the trauma unit any day over this. It felt too much like death.
“Well, Dr. Winkler. While I’m not surprised you’re here, why aren’t you in bed? You’re exhausted, dude.”
I looked up to see the head OR nurse, Bailey Warner, behind the nurses’ station. I gave her a weary, small smile and headed toward the station. She gave me a hard look, and then her face softened in concern. I knew I looked a mess. It was a very long night. After a short lull, three more critical patients showed up in the unit.
“Bailey, you checking on our patient?”
“Just finished. I know the staff here are taking good care of her, but I wanted to see for myself, so I could assure Daniel. He fought hard for her, Damien.”
“I know he did. Corson is the best. I’m just glad he was on call. Thank you, Bailey. You just don’t know…” I stuttered when emotions tried to choke me.
She shook her head at me knowingly as she made her way around the desk and placed her hand on my shoulder. Her brown eyes held compassion and understanding. Everyone knew how I felt about Kai. I’d never denied it. I just waited too late to tell her.
“I do know. She’s going to come through this. Stronger than ever. You’ll see. But you’re not going to be any damn good to her if you don’t eat and sleep. That’s an order, understand?”
“I don’t want to leave her, Bails.” The thought of her dying while I was away paralyzed me. “What if… what if she…”
“Stop. No. That’s enough. I won’t let you do this to yourself, but most of all, I won’t let you take that shitty energy into that room. She needs us positive, rested and ready to be at her side. We’ve done all we can. The rest is up to her.”
She patted my shoulder and said her goodbyes to the nurses on duty, warning them to watch me closely and make sure I didn’t overstay my welcome. “Ten minutes, Doc,” were her parting words as the double doors to the ICU opened, and she headed out.
I shook my head with a sad chuckle and made my way over to bed ten. The doors were open, and I stood for a moment in the doorway. She was so pale. Wires and tubes were everywhere. Bags of medication and IVs full of saline. The vents were breathing for her. Her head was wrapped in gauze, where the gash on her head had been sewn shut.
How did this happen?
I walked in and pulled up a chair as close to her as I could. I took her tiny hand and held it between my two. I wouldn’t let her feel my anxiety, my worry, my abject fear of losing her. No, Bailey was right. She needed me strong and ready to fight this battle with her.
I stood up and leaned down to kiss her goodbye. For now. Just long enough to sleep before my next shift. I kissed her cheek that was cool to the touch of my lips. I moved to her ear and whispered softly… just to her.
“I can’t lose you, Kai.”
Day Five
A fond memory...
Whoever thought having a mixer with boring little nibbles for a bunch of freshmen who only wanted beer and wings clearly knows nothing about freshmen. Or mixers. On a Saturday afternoon, no less.
I’m so sure the welcome committee meant well. Of course, they picked Homecoming weekend. The one weekend meant for tailgating, big parties, and cheering on our Georgia Bulldogs. The one weekend where I was really set to get loose and get laid. I ain’t holding this V-card forever! Well, Easton has been giving me the smoldering eyes in class lately. Maybe… just maybe.
There was something about his sexy accent and broad shoulders that made me wonder how he’d sound whispering naughty French words in my ear while I gripped his shoulders and locked my legs around his waist.
Sigh. Well, a girl can dream, at least.
As usual, it was ridiculously hot. Georgia in the last throes of summer, even though it was supposed to be early fall. I had dressed in a lightweight button-down and my favorite jeans, just tight enough to show off my ass but comfy enough so I could actually breathe. I finished it off with some cute sandals, dangly earrings, and minimal makeup—lip gloss and a little mascara. Who wanted foundation as hot and humid as it was?
Now I was just waiting on Carris. My roommate was notoriously late for everything, but who could blame her today? We both have a full course load. She was studying nursing while I was in Pre-Med. Carris also worked a part-time job to help with her tuition. Saturday was the one day we could get extra sleep before we got up to study some before she left for work. I paced in front of the entrance to the lawn where the tables were covered in cheap cloth and clusters of balloons. Oh, this was going to be painful. I’d give her ten more minutes, and then I was leaving.
No sooner than I made up my mind to leave did the laughter of my wayward roommate reach my ears. I couldn’t have asked for a better person to spend the school year with. Carris was always laughing, even when she was exhausted and dragging to the dorm. It made me smile to see her, heading in my direction. Ahhh, now I see why she was late!
“Hey, roomie! Look who I found on the way to the doom and gloom mixer?”
My smile got even wider. “Well, well, well. If it isn’t Sexy Lexy?”
His amazing silver eyes filled with laughter and mischief as he stepped up and gave me the best bear hug. He lifted me off the ground, the big brute, and I laughed as he lowered me back to the ground.
“Well, if it isn’t Miss Savannah?” he said with a smirk. Of course, he would bring up the pageant days.
Of course he would. I popped him playfully on the shoulder. “Figured if I was going to have to endure this little soirée, I’d bring a friend with me. Kai, this is my roommate, Damien.”
Lex turned sideways, and I gasped. Speechless. I was absolutely stunned speechless. Beautiful hazel eyes with a touch of green peered back at me. His body was spectacular, even in his casual jeans, t-shirt, and Converse. His skin reminded me of hot chocolate, and I felt even warmer looking at him. Still, it was his eyes that seemed to draw me in deeper and deeper. It was like he was seeing the real Kai Florian. It felt like in our first glance, he saw the girl I wanted to be, not the role of Savannah debutante I was forced to perform by my parents.
“Hello, Kai. I’ve only heard amazing things about you from this guy.” His deep, southern drawl called to me. His voice was smooth as silk and sent goosebumps racing up my arms. He was so incredibly mesmerizing, and that was before his smile lit his face. It was genuine and so welcoming. I simply wanted to sit and find out more about him. I wanted to know everything. He reached out to shake my hand. When I stepped up to take his, he pulled me in closer and put his other on top of mine, squeezing gently.
I finally felt I could put two words together and hopefully not embarrass myself. I cleared my throat and spoke softly, “It’s wonderful to meet you too.”
I didn’t believe in destiny and firmly thought we made our own fate. The only person I had ever truly loved was my grandmother. My grandfather had long been gone, and he was the love of her life. There was no one else for her. My parents certainly weren’t the prime example of true love and commitment in marriage. From affairs to fights and every messy thing in between, I never wanted my life to be what theirs had become.
