by Amy Marie
I know why he wants to take me to her. He believes that not only will she see the truth in me but through her wise eyes, she’ll be able to see the stranger. She’ll be able to determine if what he’s saying is true, or if he’s just a fraud and has bad intentions toward our people and our land.
“Yes, Chief,” is all I can answer as I obediently follow behind him.
Fortunately, I too would like for Elder Lacy to read not only my thoughts but those of the man who I deem worthy of helping our tribe. I’d like to know I’m not crazy about believing there is a connection between us and there is a reason he and I were both at the same place at the same time. I want to know I can trust this man and believe in his intentions.
As we approach Elder Lacy’s quarters, she comes bounding out the front door. She rushes down the single step right toward me.
“He’s a good man, Matoaka. He is going to make a good husband and will honor you and our people,” she says to me, holding my face and looking at me straight in the eye.
That’s not what I was going to ask her, not at all. I don’t know where she came up with that, but I’m not going to even try to bring it up right now.
The fact that she’s called me by my given name is nothing new. No one outside my tribe knows that name. Outsiders have only known me by my middle name, Johanna. You see, my given name is Matoaka Johanna Rolfe. My name actually carries so many years of respect throughout my ancestry, and it’s an honor to be blessed with that I don’t think I could ever explain.
My great-great-great-grandmother was none other than the great and respected Pocahontas. Though she was called Pocahontas, her given name was Amonute but her tribe name was Matoaka. Her husband was John Rolfe, or as Americans would call him, John Smith.
As a sign of respect to my great ancestors, my parents gave me the name of not only the greatest of the grandmothers but also included the man who helped our original tribe fight for the land that belonged to them. They believed if I carried such honorable names it would bring greatness to not only the tribe but it would bring with it honor and respect among the Americans.
Chapter 6
Smith
It feels like I’ve been waiting here forever for Johnnie to show up.
“Johnnie,” I say out loud for the millionth time since I’ve arrived here.
I keep testing the name on my tongue and each time I do, it just doesn’t feel right. I’ve been steadily wondering if there is another name that she carries. Is Johnnie her real name? Is it short for something else? Is it a nickname?
Until she shows up and I am able to ask her, all I’m left here to do is wonder.
I survey the area I’m standing in and I’m finally able to absorb it and see the beauty in the land. It really is such a shame that they want to tear all this down. I agree with Johnnie that we are damaging the earth more and more every day. I, myself, do believe that one day the earth will have enough of what we are doing to it and will revolt in kind.
I’m really hoping I won’t be around when that happens.
I meant it when I told Johnnie that I wanted to try to help her and her people. I think they deserve to live in peace and that we really should stop trying to take over their lands.
Haven’t we taken enough from the natives over the last few centuries? When will her people finally get a break?
Out of the corner of my eye, I see a man standing in the distance. He startles me a little as he’s definitely not who I was expecting.
“Come,” he says to me and turns and starts to walk away.
I quickly run to catch up to him and follow. Hoping that I’m not setting myself up to be skinned. Okay, that’s harsh, but come on, I don’t know this person, and I’m following them blindly. I’m hoping he is taking me to Johnnie because how else would he have known I was here.
“I’m Smith,” I tell him, trying to break the awkwardness.
“I know who you are,” he answers. “Just be quiet and follow.”
Wow, not one for a lot of words. Or common niceties I see.
Instead of arguing, I just follow him.
As we go deeper into the woods, the sounds and scents of nature overwhelm my senses. I can finally see the beauty all around me. Something, up until meeting Johnnie, I missed out on.
“You will see Elder Lacy, should she decide you’re who you say you are, you will meet with the Chief and Matoaka,” he tells me as he leads me to an abode that seems to be made out of clay.
“Thank you,” I respond, not knowing what else to say.
If meeting with this elder person will lead me to Johnnie, that’s all that matters.
Wait, he never said I was meeting with Johnnie, what the hell?
“What happened to me meeting with Johnnie?” I ask, needing to know what happened to the beautiful woman who was supposed to meet me.
“I just told you,” he answers, not really answering since I still don’t know where the hell Johnnie is.
He then points me to the home and walks away.
When I look up at the home, I see a beautiful older woman standing in the doorway, and she appears to be looking right through me. With the respect I was taught in my youth, I walk up the single step and attempt to introduce myself.
“Come inside, Smith,” the older woman says to me before I have any chance to speak. She walks into her home, and I know I’m expected to follow.
At this point, I really hope and pray that I’m not being led to a firing squad.
Okay, again, I may be exaggerating a little, but really, I’m scared for my life. I’m following all these people not knowing what, where, or how things are to come. Wouldn’t you be scared?
“Before I can give you my blessings, I’m going to need to know more about your heritage,” she tells me. “You see, I am considered to be wise and know all, but you, my child, have me confused. You seem to be of our people, but your complexion gives me pause. Are you of native descent?”
“I’m not quite sure,” I answer her as honest as I can.
“Tell me,” she replies.
“From what I’ve recently learned my family was known to take on sexual slaves. They stole the native’s virtues, and one woman was impregnated by an ancestor of my past. I have learned that she was made to give the child away, and I am a direct descendant of that woman. I’ve never been able to confirm it fully because it was something that was not allowed to be spoken of. I found some information in some very old journals and I don’t think my ancestors ever knew they existed.”
“I see,” is all she says and walks further into the home.
It’s a beautiful home, adorned with many seemingly ancient artifacts from her tribe. I sure wish I had the balls to ask her about them, but she is here to judge me, not the other way around.
“Come,” she tells me once again and sits on the floor. “Remove those things from your feet and feel the land, feel the vibration. I will be able to tell you more once the earth has a chance to read all it needs to know about you.”
I’m confused by that, but I comply anyway. Anything to get to where I need to go, to see the woman who has already captured my soul.
“She’s waiting on you also,” she states as if reading my mind.
“Huh,” I reply. I’m stunned by everything that is happening right now.
“Matoaka will be waiting for you when we finish. If you are who you say you are, I will give my blessing and you will be able to marry the princess.”
What the fuck? Why would I want to marry anyone?
“I didn’t come here to meet or marry anyone,” I tell her. Something seems off right about now, and I’m just about ready to get the fuck out of here.
“You will understand, soon. Matoaka is who you seek, and soon you will not only know but you will feel when you do if you are the right person for her and for us. I will take you on a journey. This journey will tell us all we need to know. If you are who you say you are, then you are the rightful descendant who is meant to marry the princess and b
ring the tribe back to where it should be. You and Matoaka will do great things for us and for your family. Now, sit, boy, and let us see your journey.”
I listen to the older woman speak and something inside tells me that I need to listen. That I need to explore this path as much for myself, and for her, as she needs to know for the safety of her people.
“Please, sit here,” she tells me as she points to a spot near a fire pit in the floor.
I do as I am told, and I feel a warmth emanating from the ground. Who knew that a fire pit built into the ground would make the earth feel so warm? The Native Americans obviously.
“Now, boy, I need you not to move and to close your eyes. Do not turn around, do not open your eyes. I will not tell you when to open them as you will feel when the time is right to do so.”
The feelings emanating from deep inside me are surreal. I don’t even try to speak. I just nod my head to agree. After I close my eyes, I hear her speak again.
“Come in, Matoaka, you know what you need to do.” I hear her say.
Right now, I want to open my eyes to see who this Matoaka person is and what they are going to do, but I know the time is not yet right, so I sit and wait.
Suddenly, I feel a presence behind me. I know I should be scared about what is happening—these are strange people, doing strange things—but I am not. I feel comfortable. I feel trust.
The person behind me sits, their back up against mine. Warmth flows through me that I’ve never felt before, it’s like an electrical current.
“Now,” I hear the old woman say. “Both of you must keep your eyes closed and concentrate on everything you’re feeling. If your paths are meant to meet, you will not only feel it, you will see it through each other’s minds. We will know if this is where you are meant to be. Now, concentrate on your feelings, feel your ancestors speaking to you, you will soon see what you are meant to see.”
This old lady must think I’m crazy, how am I supposed to see anything but darkness with my eyes closed?
“Relax,” I hear whispered from behind me. It’s her voice. It’s Johnnie, but why are they calling her by a different name. Did she not tell me her real name?
I’ll take the time to question her later, right now, I want to feel or see what this old bat keeps telling me I’ll see.
Chapter 7
Johnnie
I cringe every time Elder Lacy speaks my given name. I’ve never had it spoken outside our people, but she keeps saying it over and over again. My namesake never revealed her true name, and I don’t think we should be speaking mine either. I know I shouldn’t question why she keeps using it. However, she’s to be respected and never questioned.
As I sit here with my back to Smith, the electrical currents running through my body are screaming at me to take us to a different place, a different time.
“Relax,” I whisper to him. I know we’re not to be speaking right now, but I can feel the tension coming off him. This will not work if he doesn’t relax and trust.
“Okay,” he whispers back, and I immediately feel the tension leave his body.
“Come with me, close your eyes and feel the journey we are about to take. Trust me, this will show us the way,” I try to explain a little.
Even though I don’t question my Elder, I know she can’t just expect someone outside our tribe to understand the ways of our people. In order to become one with ourselves, with our ancestors, we all have come down this road. To expect someone outside to understand how this all works is crazy.
“Breathe in, breathe out, breathe with me,” I whisper, feeling Smith do as I tell him. He trusts me as I do him, and yet we know nothing about each other. That’s about to change, we’re about to both live in our pasts to see where our paths have connected.
“Set your mind free, feel your ancestors flowing through you as I am. We can feel them together.”
I don’t speak anymore after that. I feel him completely let go of the mistrust he was harboring and finally start to go on this journey with me.
As I relax more, colors start flowing through my mind. I know we’re hitting the spiritual plane where we will get the answers we seek.
The deeper into relaxation we go, I start feeling the pain and suffering of my people of the past. The first time I felt this, I tried to get out of the spiritual plane so fast, I was sick for a week. They liken leaving the plane before you’re ready as coming up too quick from a dive and not letting your body decompress. I’m sure the consequences are not as dire, but the sickness I felt for a week sure as hell made me feel that way.
I feel Smith trying to pull away as I once did. I need to calm him in order for us to get through this part, so I reach around him and grab his hand. The power of that movement, of our greater connection, pulls something in me, and I immediately feel it ground Smith.
I know no one is left in the room with us as this is a private event, but I feel many people present. That tells me we’ve hit the plane. Now, we need to learn about the past.
“But I love you, Noaka,” I hear a man’s voice say. There’s no one here, so this must be someone from one of our pasts. I look around us, and I see a light-skinned man speaking to a native woman.
They are both very beautiful, but I’m sure they aren’t supposed to be together.
“I cannot dishonor my tribe, Robert,” she answers him. “We must never speak again. I will give birth, and you will take this baby. It was a mistake to be with you without the blessings of the tribe and while you are married and have children with another woman. A woman of your people, not of mine.”
I hear and feel a gasp come from Smith. This is something from his past, one of these people must be one of his ancestors.
“No, I will not allow it, Noaka,” he replies. “You are my love. You are my life. I won’t be a man without you. I have never loved my wife. We were married because we were betrothed by our parents. I don’t feel for her as I feel for you. Please, come with me. They’re already banishing me back to England. I can take you with me, and we can raise our child,” he says as he places his hand on her protruding belly.
I can feel the love he has for her and hers for him. It saddens me greatly that they are being torn apart. I wish I knew who these people were to Smith’s past.
“They’re my great-great-great-grandparents,” I hear Smith say, answering the question in my head. “They loved each other?” Smith said more as a question than a statement. “I was led to believe the journals I read were true. That she was a sexual slave to him. The books were wrong all this time.”
There’s awe in his voice and a relief to his soul I can feel and hear.
“I cannot dishonor my tribe, Robert,” she tells him, tears running freely down her face. This truly pains her as much as it pains him. “I cannot keep the child. He is not of our people. It will be a boy, and he will be raised by your wife as her own. There’s an agreement already made.”
“This is not right, Noaka, he and you belong with me,” Robert pleads.
Yes, they do belong with him, I feel it in the deepest parts of my soul.
Why would anyone demand a woman not raise her own child? Why are they being made to be apart? I know exceptions are made, look at my great-great-great-grandparents. There has to be a reason they are not being pardoned. That’s the part I want to see.
“I’m sorry, Robert,” Noaka cries. “But it is done.”
With that, she turns and leaves the room.
Men clothed in what I assume to be English uniforms come into the room and arrest Robert.
I don’t understand why he would be arrested. He had an affair, he didn’t kill someone.
I’m outraged by Smith’s past at the moment. We really need to move on and get to the bottom of this.
Chapter 8
Smith
When I watched my great-great-great-grandfather get hauled away from the woman and unborn child he so desperately loved, I feel outraged. How dare they be torn apart like this. Why are they being tor
n apart?
I want to see more. I need the answers.
Colors around the room begin to change, and I want to scream because of my need to see more.
It’s then I hear a woman crying.
“Daddy, he needs to suffer,” I hear her say. I turn to see who is talking but I still can’t make anyone out.
“Calm down, daughter,” a gruff voice replies. “He will pay for hurting my princess, I promise. I’ve already had him arrested for treason and he is being sent back to England. The woman he impregnated has agreed she will abandon her baby to you in order for her tribe not to suffer the consequences of his treason, along with him. You will raise this child as your own and they will suffer never being able to love, hold, nor see the child.”
“No, Daddy, are you crazy?” she screams at him. “How am I supposed to raise that woman’s child? That child will look nothing like my own, I can’t, and I won’t.”
“Oh, daughter, you are wrong. As of this moment, word has spread that you are with child once again. No one will know that the child is not the one you will pretend to carry. The way to make them suffer is for you to take this child they created behind your back.”
“No, I won’t do it.”
“Daughter, you will. There’s no room here for negotiation. If you want to remain to be seen and known as royalty, you will do as you are told. It’s your fault the man strayed in the first place. Maybe if you’d given him a son instead of all those daughters, he would have never looked elsewhere.”
“Father,” she gasps, tears streaming down her face.
I can’t believe all that I am hearing.
She didn’t want the child. She was forced to raise him.
“I’m telling you now, daughter, if you do not raise that child as your own, I will send your ungrateful ass back to England to live with the man who dishonored you. Is that what you wish for?”
