by Amy Marie
It doesn’t take long for Britton to drift off to sleep. She snores softly with one arm wrapped around her bear, her other hand she holds onto my sweater as if she knows what tomorrow holds. If there was some way I could spare her from this I would do it. With limited options all I can do is promise her I’ll make this right for her.
As I close the book, she snuggles in closer to me breaking my heart just a little more. She sighs softly I lean in whispering to her, “I’ll do everything I can to make this better, I promise.”
Chapter Nine
Malinda
Slamming a stack of folders down on my desk, there would be nothing more fulfilling than screaming at the top of my lungs. Nothing is working for me today. Nothing.
This isn’t anything new. It’s been almost a month since I had to take Britton to live at another foster home. That morning we had breakfast together, she ate everything I put on her plate. As if she could sense there was something wrong, she wasn’t quite herself that morning. She ate slowly, there wasn’t much to talk about, and she didn’t ask many questions. That was not like her, she was always full of questions.
Over the top of my cubicle, I hear my name being called. Looking up I see my co-worker looking down at me from over the top, “You might need to step back from the Britton Hilliard case. If you want, I can trade you, we’ll just need to get it cleared…”
Sucking in a deep breath, I hold up my hand to signal him to stop, “I’m not going to trade her case. I’m happy to help with some of your cases, but I can’t give up on her.”
Frowning at me, he says, “It’s not giving up Malinda; it’s just the facts of the job. You can’t focus all of your energy on one child.”
There’s no way for me to tell him he’s right, even though it’s true she needs me and I can’t abandon her. He doesn’t let me offer any argument before he adds, “You have a responsibility for a lot of kids, and she isn’t the only one that needs you.”
As if to save me from this conversation, my phone rings. Reaching for the phone I silently pray this isn’t another disaster in the making for the day.
“This is Malinda Williams, how can I help you?”
“Malinda, how are you?”
The saccharine-sweet voice of Ravanna Tate greets me through the receiver. Any thoughts of my day turning around goes out the window as she purrs, “It’s so good to hear from you dear. It’s simply been too long since we’ve seen you.”
Any response to that is not going to win me any praise. Instead, I think to myself, ‘there’s a reason I avoid you.’
“Listen, Malinda, I’m having a get together this weekend. There will be a lot of people there, even your parents will be there, and I’d like to have a chance to talk with you.”
It shouldn’t be a surprise that my parents are attending one of her events. Ravanna’s husband is the owner of the car dealership, where my father works. It’s an unspoken rule that when the boss’s wife has a party the management team is expected to be there. That makes it easier for them to do the dog and pony show with their friends. My father claims it helps sales, but that’s not really my problem.
Although I’m barely listening, she keeps talking. She catches my attention at the mention of Lou, “If you could arrive with Lou Mackey, I know you aren’t really an item right now but he speaks very highly of you.”
Obviously, my mother has been bending her ear over this situation with Lou. Last weekend my mother called insisting on family dinner. As a good daughter I showed up as requested to help prepare the meal. Somehow in all the confusion of people arriving for dinner I didn’t notice that Lou Mackey was there until he sat beside me at dinner. After that it was a long evening of ignoring his advances. The last straw was when my car wouldn’t start and I was forced to accept a ride home from Lou.
Clearing my throat, I tell her, “I’m sorry Ravanna, I don’t think that’s a good idea. Maybe some other time.”
It’s never easy to turn down an invitation. This invitation is all the more difficult to decline because I know that I will have to hear from my mother about this too. With any luck, my mother will be busy today, otherwise my next phone call is likely to be from her.
“Oh, Malinda,” she pouts. “Malinda, darling, this is not an event you will want to miss. I’ve already arranged with your mother to go dress shopping this afternoon for you. I didn’t know if you would have an appropriate dress for this weekend, but I found this dress that will be simply divine on you. It’s the purest shade of purple, you will be irresistible in it.”
Leave it to my mother to forget that I have a job. There’s no time in my schedule for dress shopping and certainly no money in my checking account to buy a dress that Ravanna is calling divine.
Hoping to change course I start to tell her, “Ravanna, thank you but…”
She doesn’t let me finish before she says, “That issue with the orphan. There will be a judge attending this weekend that presides in family court. It’s my understanding that she signs adoption orders.”
There’s something that changes in the tone of her voice. She’s no longer trying to get her own way, she knows that she has won this battle. There is no way I would try to influence a judge to gain an adoption, but I could get some advice.
“I’ve placed the dress on hold in your name. You will need to go today, I’m sure they will have to make some adjustments to the dress to fit you. This is a formal event, so be sure to get shoes that will match your dress.”
The idea of a formal event makes me cringe. There’s no way I’ll get out of attending this with Lou, he’s obviously become my chosen date for this weekend. If she’s already picked my dress, I’ll be sure to need shoes to go with it.
My phone pings notifying me that I received a text message. There’s no need to look at it, I know it’s an address from a number that is not in my phone book.
“Remember Malinda, nothing is impossible if you know the right people. You decide if you want my people to be your people.”
She doesn’t wait for me to say anything. If my mother has listened to anything I’ve said in the last month, then she knows I want to adopt Britton more than anything. After today I’d probably be happy to leave my job to make it happen.
It takes me longer than I would like to finish up for the day. I was almost out of the office when I remembered I needed to change my voicemail greeting.
After hastily packing half of my desk into my bag, I’m finally ready to go for the day. Adding dress shopping into my afternoon was not a great idea. Rescheduling all of my home visits to tomorrow is probably just as bad of an idea, but there’s no way I can get any of them done today.
The one visit I want to make isn’t on my schedule this week. The last update I had said that Britton was adjusting to the new foster home where she’s living. She’s been visiting a therapist to help her deal with her mother’s death, which doesn’t seem to be doing anything for her. Even the school has reported she doesn’t talk about her mother, and she hasn’t been crying. The one problem that has been reported is she doesn’t interact with the other kids at school or at home. My fear is she’s going to isolate herself too much.
Being at the dress shop brings back fond memories of dress shopping for happier occasions. Formal dances, prom, my cousin’s wedding, even the dresses I bought in college were for happier occasions than the one this dress will be worn to.
Standing in front of the trifold mirrors I turn to look at the back of the dress my mother has chosen for me. It’s almost sad to realize that I would have chosen this dress on my own. That doesn’t happen very often; usually my mother chooses dresses that are too flashy for me. If asked I would have guessed she had set aside a dress covered in sequence instead of this almost plain dress.
The attendant fluffs the dress in the back as she says, “Ms. Williams, this is your color; not everyone can wear this shade of purple. With your dark hair and fair skin, well it’s like this dress was made for you.”
She tit
ters on about the cut of the dress, the shade of purple, and everything else she can say to flatter me in the dress. She must be mistaken that I have a choice if I want to purchase this dress. The reality is that I have to wear this for a date I don’t want to attend.
“Will you check the shoulder straps in the back for me?” Lifting my shoulders up and down, I feel the straps are a little snug on my shoulders.
A finger runs along the satin on my right shoulder as the woman stares at me in the mirror she whispers to me, “You most of all should know that your actions have consequences.” She tugs at the back of the dress, making me gasp for air before she says, “Always trust in yourself before you trust those around you.”
Looking over my shoulder, I see that she is writing down some instructions for the seamstress. She’s acting as if she didn’t just give me a cryptic message that should have me questioning my life choices.
As if she expects a question, she slyly looks at me to ask, “Is the length acceptable? You’ll need to lift it in the front to walk.”
Still shaken from her words, I quietly say, “It's fine.”
Without another word, she lowers the zipper in the back enough that I can easily get out of the dress on my own in the dressing room. Moving quickly I go back to the dressing room to change. Running my fingers over the fabric of the dress I contemplate if I want to use my Ravanna’s people. Maybe I should have more faith in the system that I’ve sworn to serve, except we’re talking about a little girl that is going to get lost in a world she shouldn’t be part of.
Swallowing the lump forming in my throat, I tell myself not to cry again. My heart aches for Britton to come back to live with me. Even after Britton left, my cat Halifax, was never the same. Last week she went to live with one of my co-workers because she wouldn’t come near me without hissing and scratching at me. The girl in me that longed for a cat is long gone. I’m now a woman yearning to be a replacement mother for a little girl.
The idea of being a replacement mother makes me stop a moment. That’s exactly what Lou has wanted of me for the last year. His wife left him with three children, each of them needs a replacement mother, but I’ve never felt that desire to step into their lives.
After collecting the paperwork to pick up my dress tomorrow, I leave the dress store. Checking the time on my phone I see that it’s a bit later than I expected. The sun has started to set and the rain that was holding off all day has now started to fall. Sarcastically I think to myself that should help with the evening commute.
Buttoning my jacket, I hug my purse in a little closer to keep the chill away. The wind whips at my back pushing me along the sidewalk. Parking was a nightmare this afternoon and I’m parked about three blocks away. When the sun was shining it didn’t seem to be an issue. Now that twilight has fallen along with the rain, I wish I would have tried a little harder to find a better parking spot.
A car horn blares, causing me to look down the street as a cab cuts off a large truck. People are always in such a hurry. The concept of taking turns is lost on most adults, that’s evident in the way they drive.
From across the street, I hear someone call my name, “Malinda!”
Turning in a circle, I look for a familiar face of someone that would have called my name. From behind me I hear my name again, “Malinda!”
Turning to face the opposite direction, I still don’t see anyone that I know. The rain has started to fall a little harder now so I hurry to cross the street. There’s a blast of a car horn a moment before I see the headlight shining on me.
Gasping, it occurs to me that I’m standing in the middle of the street as the light shining on me disappears. There’s the sound of something sliding as I fall forward over the lights. The pain of something hitting my back vibrates through my neck as my head hits something hard, and my vision goes dark.
Chapter Ten
Lou
After Malinda’s accident, I took to spending my lunch break at the hospital with her. It would normally give her mother a chance to leave to go home to shower, or sometimes just to get something to eat that didn’t arrive in a brown bag.
Today isn’t so different than any other day. After leaving my keys with the hospital valet for parking, I make my way to the coffee shop. The girls that work there have gotten to know me from my frequent visits. Instead of standing in line I go to the pick-up counter and place a roll of bills in the tip jar. Everyone here is paid an hourly rate, but they watch the tip jar a lot closer than they do the coffee machines.
One of the girls nods to me as a big smile breaks across her face, “It’ll be just a few minutes, Lou.”
Over the years, I’ve learned that it’s easier to offer money than it is to wait in line. It doesn’t matter where you go, people are always willing to help you if you help them.
As my order is placed in front of me, I give the girl a twenty to pay for my food. Leaving a tip in their jar doesn’t pay for my food and there’s no point in them getting caught giving out free food. Taking the cup from her I say, “Thanks, leave the change in the tip jar.”
“Have a good day. I hope your fiancé is better today.”
Taking the elevator to the seventh floor, I step out into a quiet hallway. Yesterday this place was chaos with nurses and doctors hurrying in every direction. I’m glad that it’s quieter today, which makes it easier for me to return calls while I sit in Malinda’s room.
It doesn’t take long to walk to the end of the hallway, that’s where the private suites are located. The door to her room is open, so I only rap on the door with a single knuckle as I enter the room.
In the chair next to Malinda’s bed is her mother, Elise. She smiles as she checks her watch, “You’re a little early today.”
Setting my stuff down on the table I lean in to give her a hug, “It was quiet this morning, I thought I’d spend a little extra time here.”
Nodding, she says, “This morning they told me that she’s showing signs of regaining consciousness. We should probably discuss how we want to move forward with things.”
Taking her by the arm, I move her away from Malinda’s bed. The last thing we need is for Malinda to hear us talking, “We don’t need her hearing us talk.”
Elise is too confident in her plans for her daughter. She tsks at me before she says, “You know this couldn’t be more perfect. Running that engagement story the day after she was hit makes this perfect. The interview you gave on the news confirmed the story. The doctors are certain she will have some short-term memory loss.”
Laughing, I remind her, “That interview has brought a lot of business into the car dealership too. So you should be seeing a large bonus this month.”
Patting my chest, she adds, “You’ll be seeing that same bonus, so just make sure that you set some of that aside for your new bride.”
“Well, the good news is that I sold my house this morning. The kids already know we’ll be moving, and we can just tell Malinda that she chose the new house.”
Nodding in approval, Elise checks over my shoulder, probably looking at her daughter before she whispers, “You had better make sure that you are believable. Selling your house might have been a step too far in all of this.”
“Look, you wanted her off your hands. I’ll take care of her, and in return she can help with my kids.”
“Don’t you forget I want a few grandchildren of my own from this deal.”
The last thing I want is more kids. My ex-wife left me with two kids, and there’s no chance I’ll let her raise my kids. Marrying Malinda and having her help me raise my children is a much better option. Agreeing to have children with Malinda wasn’t the worst part of this deal. She’s young, beautiful, and intelligent. It will be easy to put off having a few kids with her after this accident, by then I might be ready for a few more kids.
“Lou, don’t you back out on me now. The last of the serum was administered this morning. It’s still experimental, but the results should heal her lungs.”
&nbs
p; She has a faraway look in her eyes as she stares at her daughter. The damage to Malinda’s lungs happened when she was younger. It’s not a genetic trait so there’s no chance our children will have the same problems.
“Graham didn’t want her to have the serum.” She gets angry as she admits the real reason she insisted on this set-up, “There’s a good chance it will work, and I want my daughter to be normal again. Even as respected as I am in this community; there are still those that will whisper behind my back.”
Listening to Elise rant about her reputation isn’t going to accomplish anything. Rubbing her arm, I encourage her, “You need a break. I’ll stay here with Malinda for the afternoon, go home and take some time for yourself today.”
She doesn’t look away from Malinda as she says, “Graham signed the papers for her house last night, they wanted a lot of the furniture. He thinks that maybe you having a few things from her house would help her.”
It took me a year to dispose of all the extra junk my ex-wife had cluttered my house with while we were married. The last thing I want is to move in more stuff. This isn’t the time to discuss this, it’s probably going to be months before Malinda is ready to come home.
“That’s a great idea, for now, her things should be primarily at your house. I’ll help Graham and the boys move her things next week.”
Shaking her head, she says, “I’ll be off then. If she wakes up I want to be your first call. The doctor was in earlier, he should be in again this afternoon.”
Allowing Elise a moment with her daughter, I check my messages on my phone before I send a message to the office that I won’t be back today. My sales are on target for the month and since Malinda’s accident they’ve given me the option to take as much time as I need to spend at her side. Sitting with her this afternoon will give me some time to set up appointments for next week.
