“Oh, now you want to come and join me, huh?” he said when he saw me.
I walked over to him and put my arms around him. “Come on, baby. Let’s not start tonight. Anyway, I came back here hoping that I could get me a little quickie.”
“Now, you know that I have to go back out for another set. A quickie would wipe me out.”
“What the hell is wrong with you, Tay? You act like you don’t want me anymore.”
“You know that it’s not even like that. You have just been wanting to do it at all the wrong times.”
“All the wrong times? Since when has there ever been a wrong time to fuck?”
He pulled away from me before answering.
“Look, Tangie, you don’t have to worry about me not wanting you. You turn me on every time I look at you. But with all this traveling that we do, I just get like this at times. This has nothing to do with you. Trust me.”
I didn’t say anything more about it. He was full of shit, and I knew it. I just sat down on the couch and watched him get ready for his next performance. Some glamorous life this was.
Chapter 11
Will You Marry Me?
“No, Amira, we can’t do this,” I pleaded, but she wouldn’t stop.
She just kept sucking on my clit. I knew that I was telling her to stop, but I really didn’t mean it.
“Cum in my mouth, Tangie. I wanna taste your cream,” she said as she took her time with me. I watched her tongue slide up and down on me. I let her draw the cum out of me, and I couldn’t hold back anymore. She was making it feel too good.
“Ahh, Amira, I’m about to cum. Please stop. Oh shit, I can’t take this anymore.”
I moaned, but she didn’t stop. She just moved her tongue faster and faster.
“Wake up, Tangie.”
I opened my eyes and saw Shamika standing over top of me. I was lying on the couch in Tay’s dressing room and must have dozed off.
“What in the hell were you just dreaming about?”
“How do you know that I was dreaming?” I asked her.
She looked at me as if I should have known the answer to my own question.
“I know because you were moving around on the bed like someone was laying down some good old dick on your ass.”
Amira had really started to roam through my thoughts a little too often. If I wasn’t daydreaming about her, she was invading my dreams as I slept.
“Well, if I was dreaming, then I don’t remember what about,” I lied.
“Well, what’s been going on with you and Amira? You two have been staying out really late. I hope you aren’t letting her turn you out,” Shamika joked, but that only annoyed me.
I didn’t answer her. If I did, then that meant that I would have to lie, so I just let it go. Instead, I asked her what she wanted.
“Girl, I came up here to get the dirt. You have been out with that dyke bitch so much that I thought you would have something to tell me. Hell, I want to know what you know.”
I looked around the room for something to drink or smoke.
“I really don’t think that there is really much to her. We hung out, and she’s cool and everything, but that’s about it. It’s not like I was just going to come right out and ask her to tell me all her secrets.”
Shamika sucked her teeth, showing her disappointment. “You should have just asked her if she was gay. Then, when she said yes, that’s when you go in for the kill. Well, it doesn’t matter, anyway. I know she’s gay. I know she be trying to cover it up and dress all fem, but she isn’t fooling me.”
“So what if she is? It’s better than her going after Tay or Black. Don’t you think?”
“True, true,” she answered back.
I was getting so sick of her that it wasn’t even funny. I had to remind myself to get the ball rolling as far as me getting rid of her, but that would take time and opportunity.
Shamika stayed in Tay’s dressing room until the show was over. On the ride to the hotel, Amira’s song weighed heavily on my mind. She had taken her time and had written a song about me. It was starting to be clear to me that she had more feelings for me than any other man had ever had for me. Out of all the singers and rappers that I had ever been with, she was the only one who had ever written anything about me that I knew of.
After returning to the hotel, Tay and I fell asleep on the bed within minutes. I woke up a few hours later, and the clock on the nightstand let me know that it was three o’clock in the morning. I had just had another dream about Amira, and it was driving me crazy. My heart raced, and my body was yearning. I looked over at Tay, and he was sound asleep. I got up and went into the living room area, hoping to find more air to breathe. I had to get control of myself, but that was hard to do when you were horny and felt like your insides were on fire. I stood in front of the floor-length mirror that covered one of the walls. I was one sexy bitch who should not be wanting for sex. I should have been getting it whenever and from whomever I wanted.
I got my snow out of my purse and sniffed some out of the baggie as I paced the living room. I needed some sex, and there were only three people whom I could get it from. There was Carl, but I had just had sex with him, so I was damn near bored with him. Then there was Amira, but there seemed to be too many feelings growing between us. I wanted to keep things simple with her, but it was clear that neither of us were really in control of our emotional state when it came to our affair. So that just left Tay. The coke that I had sniffed sent a rush through my body and gave me courage. I put the baggie back in my purse and headed toward the bedroom. I turned on the lights and walked over to the bed. Tay’von was on his back, so I just lay on top of him.
“Damn, Tangie. What are you doing, baby?” Tay asked as he opened his eyes.
“What is this? Still not the right time?”
I pulled off my shirt and ground my hips on him. I leaned over and kissed him, impatiently waiting for him to return the affection.
“Come on, baby, don’t make me beg,” I said.
He flipped me over and got on top of me. I smiled because I was happy to get some love from my man again. He leaned his head down and tongued my chest.
“Fuck all that bullshit. Just give me the dick.”
Tay could tell that I needed him inside me badly, and that made him smile. Tay had once told me that when I acted that way, it made him feel wanted and needed, but I didn’t do that too often, unless it came to his money. So he slid himself inside me. It had been too long, and both of us were happy that we were doing this. Tay said he didn’t even realize how much he missed having sex with me until then. He had forgotten the warmth and tightness my insides provided, but once he was in, it hit him like a ton of bricks. He had been holding himself back from me because of what he thought he had done to me. He had been too ashamed to sex me. He had felt like if he did, I would remember the monster that he had fought hard to hide. I was just happy that my man wanted me again, and I could tell that I was still the best lover he had ever had.
But as good as our sex always was, it still didn’t curb my appetite for Amira. It just made me want her even more.
* * *
“So did you like the song? I never got to ask you that the other night,” Amira said as she walked up behind me at the hotel bar.
“Oh, yeah. Um, that was really sweet. I didn’t even know that you were going to do that. I loved it.”
She smiled openly, showing her happiness at my approval. “Well, from now on, whenever it comes on, you will know that I wrote it for you.”
Every time this girl came around, I had to smile. She just had this glow about her.
“Shouldn’t you be getting ready to leave?” I asked her.
“You never keep up with anything. Tonight is our night off. After tomorrow’s show, that’s when we leave,” she said as she pulled my hair from my face and brushed her hand against my cheek.
It sent a chill down my spine, so I pulled away.
“What are you going to do
on your night off?” I asked.
She licked her lips and smiled. I knew that my face was turning red, because I was burning with desire.
“Maybe we can spend some time together?” she asked.
I really wanted to, but I knew that if I was alone with her, I would not be able to stop myself from touching her.
“Well, I have some things that I need to do, so I don’t know if we will be able to see each other today.”
She took my hand and held it. “Well, I’ll be in my room if you want to hang out.”
She put a hundred-dollar bill on the bar and headed out. I watched her walk away, letting my eyes go from the back of her head to her feet. Damn, she was sexy.
I finished my drink and headed back to my room. Once in the suite, I looked through my purse, but my baggie was gone. Tay watched me and laughed out loud.
“It’s not there. I threw it all out. You have been shoving way too much of that shit up your nose. Weed should be enough.”
This made me want to jump on him and claw his face, but I didn’t.
“That’s really fucked up, Tay. I don’t walk around here telling you what drug you should take.”
“Yeah, well, I’m sick of you doing all that damn coke. You’re out of control with that shit. Just smoke a jay or two and you’ll be okay.”
He threw a ziplock bag at me that was filled with weed. I threw it back at him and told him to roll me up two blunts. I went into the bedroom, undressed, and came back out in my robe. I sat beside him and watched Mr. Too Fine roll up my weed. We had come so far, but then again, I still didn’t know what it was that we had. We had never really taken the time to talk about us. I took the first blunt and lit it up. My mind ran wild with thoughts of Amira. My nipples hardened at the thought of her. I got up and told Tay that I was going to take a bath.
The water in the tub warmed my already hot body even more. This was getting to be too much, I thought to myself as I ran my fingers in between my thighs. If soft moans didn’t escape my lips, I would have never known that I was playing with myself.
“Fuck it.” I got out of the tub and dried myself off. I lotioned my body and put on my Hypnôse perfume. I slid on a thin strapless dress that I liked to wear while I was chilling with no undies. I pulled my hair back in a low ponytail and left the bathroom.
I walked into the living room area, picked up my purse, then noticed that there were two already rolled blunts beside it. I called Tay’s name, but he was gone. I walked out of the hotel suite and headed for the elevator. I knew exactly what I wanted and where I was going to get it. I went down to the ninth floor and knocked on door number 912. Amira opened the door with a smile.
“I hate to smoke alone. Would you like to join me?” I asked her as I held my hand out, showing her the two blunts Tay had rolled for me. She stepped aside, and I slid into her room.
Amira had notebooks all over her bed, but other than that, it was neat. She had on a wifebeater and pink boy shorts. I took notice of her hard nipples, and it turned me on. Finding it hard to look away, I lit both blunts and handed her one. She took it and sat on the bed, while I opted for the chair. She took a pull and leaned back on her elbows. Her hair was still styled with the bangs in the front and was still long in the back. Her light skin was shiny, but not in an oily way. It was from being blessed with beautiful skin. I looked at her body openly. She didn’t mind. She just stayed there on the bed, in the same position. I loved the way she looked leaning back on her elbows. It was like her body was calling me, begging to be touched by me, but I held back. I just sat in the chair, smoking and looking.
“Come here,” she called to me in a low, sexy tone, but I didn’t move.
“Come here, Tangie.” This time there was more of a demand in her voice, but she kept it low and sexy.
I stood up and walked over to the bed. She slid one of her legs between mine and made our skin touch. I stayed standing while she moved her head closer to me. Her eyes had become red and slanted from the smoke. When she looked up at me, I melted inside. She leaned her head into me, and I could feel one of her hands on my thigh. It made me gasp for air the higher she went. When she reached my clit, she rubbed it softly and slowly. I closed my eyes and enjoyed it.
“Damn, Tangie. I have missed you so much. You’re so fucking wet. Damn, Tangie. Damn.”
The first time we slept together, she hardly said anything, but now her verbal skills were on full display. I loved the things that she was saying to me. I even loved the sound of her voice.
“I have been thinking about you nonstop. When I’m in here alone, I touch myself as I think about your sexy body,” she whispered.
That bitch was turning me the hell on. My eyes were closed, and all I could hear was her voice. My whole body was shaking from her touch. She never changed her pace. She kept it slow and long as she talked.
“All I can do is think about how you feel, how you smell, how you fuck. You’re so sexy, and touching you just feels good. You’re so soft. You’re so, so . . . Shit, you’re just you, and that drives me crazy.”
After she said this, she moved her fingers faster. She stayed seated, with her head still close to my body, and I couldn’t help but moan out her name.
“Damn, Tangie. I just wish that you were mine. I have got to be able to have you anytime I want you. I have got to be able to taste you anytime I want. Yeah, Tangie, I love tasting you. I want to taste that pussy right now.”
Oh my God, she had me so hot. She lifted my leg up on the bed and brought my dress up around my waist. She stuck her tongue out and let me see it. She lowered her head and licked me. Her mouth was as soft as I remembered it. I moaned loudly as I wondered what she did to her tongue to make it feel so good. There was this intensity about the way she did it. She made me cum in five minutes. I had to push her away because she wouldn’t stop. I pulled my dress off as she lay back down on her elbows again and licked her lips.
“Damn, Tangie. You taste so fucking good. Why did you push me away?”
I got down on my knees in front of her. She opened her legs slightly wider as I rubbed her through her boy shorts. I watched her closely as she slowly breathed in and out. Damn, I really did like her. I felt like I wanted to be with her and stay in that room forever.
“Damn, Amira. So many things are happening to me at once. I know that it’s wrong for me to be with you, but I can’t help myself. I want to be with you. I want to be yours.”
I pulled down her underwear and pushed open her legs. I wanted to eat her the same way she had just done me. I moved my head close to her, but she put her hand on my forehead and stopped me.
“Tangie, I told you before, I don’t want you doing this until you’re sure. I want to really know that your heart is in it.”
I looked at her and answered from my heart. “Amira, I am falling in love with you. I know that this will not be easy, but this is what I want right now.”
I lowered my head, and she let me love her. I mimicked everything that she did to me. First, I moved my tongue fast; then I slowed it down. I loved the way she felt against it. I loved the taste of her, and it made me fall in love with pleasuring her. As I ate her out, she touched her own nipples.
“Oh, Tangie, don’t stop. Baby, don’t stop.”
She reached down and pushed my face deeper into her pussy. She tried to close her legs and push me away, but I held them open and moved my tongue faster. I got a firm hold on her hips and made her take it. She moved her head from side to side, having no choice but to lie there and scream from pleasure.
“Fuck. I’m cumming, Tangie. Ahhh, I’m cumming.”
I kept on going until her body shook uncontrollably. I licked back up her body and let her taste herself on my lips. We moved to the top of the bed and got under the covers. We touched, caressed, and got to know each other’s body from head to toe for the next three hours.
* * *
“Tangie, you know that you don’t have to go. Just stay here with me,” Amira said as I g
ot dressed.
“Yeah, well, I don’t want Tay coming back and getting mad ’cause I have been gone for so long. You know how he can get.”
She sat up in the bed and rolled a blunt from her own stash. “I thought you said that you wanted to be with me. Were you just bullshitting?”
“No, Amira, I was telling the truth. I do want to be with you, but I came on this tour with Tay’von. I can’t just be like, ‘Fuck him,’ and move all my stuff down to your room.”
She started to get mad because she knew that she wouldn’t get her way. But come on. What did she expect? That I was ready to jump out of the closet and start waving my pride flag? I was still getting over the fact that I was actually attracted to a woman. Maybe her friend was right. These were things that I should have thought about before jumping into bed with her, but it was too late to go back. I had tasted the devil’s fruit and had become addicted from the first bite. All I thought about was my next meal: where, when, and how was I going to get it. Feelings would have to come later.
“And why can’t you just be like, ‘Fuck it’? You can do whatever the hell you want to do.”
She was right in a way, but I was also comfortable with where I was at, who I was with, and who I thought I was, meaning with being a straight woman. I just didn’t know how to break things off with Tay. Or maybe I just didn’t want to.
“Come on, A. We just had such a good time. Let’s not get into this right now.”
“Okay, okay, but we will have to talk about this eventually. It’s just not going to go away.”
She lit up her blunt and passed it to me. I stayed with her for another hour before going back to my suite.
* * *
Over the next two weeks, Amira and I spent every moment we could together. Our days were spent going out in whatever city we were in, and our nights were filled with stolen moments of sexual escapades. Our love for each other grew every day, and I felt like I was getting closer to leaving Tay for her. She filled me with true love. It was not about what she had or what she could do for me. It was just about us. All I had to do was face the truth: I loved a woman, and that was that.
The Art of Deceit Page 14
