by R. Cooper
Clematis pulled away and dashed out of the building.
HIS PHONE buzzed around ten o’clock that night, lighting up his dark living room. Clematis didn’t want to pick it up, but he exhaled shakily as he brought it to his ear.
“I need you to do the thing where you calm me down.” Flor was breathing fast, excited or possibly angry. Clematis could hear background noises, as if Flor was not in his apartment. “Please.”
Surprise held Clematis still, but then he shut his eyes and made his voice smooth and soft. “Flor,” he said, almost a purr. “Flor, I need your help.”
“Sweetheart,” Flor sighed in return. Clematis imagined him with his eyes closed too. It likely wasn’t true. “Go on.”
Clematis put his head back. “I didn’t eat today. Only a handful of candies some children gave me. I’m so tired, Flor. I haven’t gotten up from the couch since I came home. I’m so tired.” He got the impression of silence and froze. “It’s all right,” he backtracked quickly. “I’m sorry. I can—”
“Do you need me to come over?” Flor demanded. “They said—” He made a garbled, furious sound. “I don’t care what they said. I’m coming over.”
Clematis opened his eyes in panic. “I didn’t mean to whine.”
“Why didn’t you eat?” Flor huffed, and then it sounded like he pulled the phone from his mouth to yell at someone. A lot of honking followed. “What do you have in the house?” he asked once he was back on.
“I don’t want to make you cross town for me,” Clematis insisted. “I have food. It was just that today I was… I couldn’t eat.”
“You never have enough as it is,” Flor scolded, but his tone softened and his breathing slowed. Wherever he was now was quiet. “Do you still have that honey?”
Clematis held his phone tightly. “Yes.”
“Good.” Flor made him shiver. “Then I want you to get up and go to the kitchen and get it and a spoon. You’re going to eat that until I get there to feed you properly.”
“It’s expensive honey,” Clematis protested quietly but was already pushing himself up to walk clumsily toward the kitchen.
“You’re worth more,” Flor growled at him, pissy. He calmed after Clematis noisily opened and closed the silverware drawer. “That’s it.” Flor sighed at him after the ring of the jar lid as it landed on the countertop, and then the messy, greedy work of Clematis’s mouth as he sucked honey from the spoon. “There’s no better food for fairies. Even ancient humans knew it. Have more, sweetheart. Is it good?”
“Yes.” Clematis leaned on the counter to stay up and licked honey from his fingers. He dipped the spoon back into the jar. “I’m so hungry,” he complained, sulking and rough-voiced.
Flor exhaled. “I’m going to feed you,” he promised. “Bowls of milk and honey. Cake and strawberries. Is that what you want?”
Clematis staggered on weak legs. “You’re so good to me.” His throat was thick with honey already, and Flor was going to give him more.
“You’re mine to take care of,” Flor told him, silky and satisfied. “Now go sit down and eat. Get comfortable. I want to see you warm and full.”
Clematis put his hot face to the cool countertop and moaned.
“Oh,” Flor whispered, as though just for a moment he was still startled at the effect he had on Clematis. Then he was pleased. “Have more. Don’t wait for me.”
“Flor,” Clematis begged, although he couldn’t have said what he was begging for.
Flor seemed to know. “I’m going to feed you and make you come and then put you to bed. I’m going to take care of you, and the rest can wait. Okay?”
“Flor,” Clematis panted in confusion. But he wanted it. He wanted all of it. “Okay,” he agreed, softly, “Yes.”
“Thank you, sweetheart,” Flor murmured, confusing Clematis more. “Do you want me to stay on the line or to go?”
It was a stupid question; Clematis answered with breathless disdain. “Stay.”
Flor laughed, though he was a little breathless too. “You make me happy,” he said easily, then ordered Clematis to have another spoonful of honey so he could hear. Clematis moaned with it on his tongue and Flor laughed again, but rougher this time. Clematis licked his lips and Flor sighed, hungry. “Good,” he praised, and didn’t seem to mind when Clematis reached down to touch himself. If anything, he was proud. “So, so good for me. You’re so good at distracting me, and calming me. Thank you for giving me this.”
Clematis flushed all over and whined as he got hard, even though he didn’t have to wait. He swallowed and swallowed so Flor could hear how hungry he was and eventually came for the first time right there in the kitchen. He came again on the couch right before Flor walked through the door and dropped his bag of groceries to climb on top of him and kiss him all over. He fed him and fucked him and fed him some more, and let Clematis suck him off twice before he cleaned him up and then curled behind him in bed.
Neither of them slept, but Flor stayed, one warm arm around Clematis’s waist, his nose at the back of his neck, and only left to go to work, just before dawn.
Chapter 14
CLEMATIS WENT to work with his mind in the clouds. If he thought about last night, and Tulip, and whatever was bothering Flor, he’d go cold and couldn’t breathe. But if he remembered eating cake with his fingers and feeding bits of frosting to Flor and how it felt to have Flor splayed across his bed and moaning for Clematis’s mouth, his feet would leave the ground.
He showed up late. Despite rising early to see Flor out and get kissed at the door in front of two baffled Pomeranians, Clematis had finally fallen asleep shortly afterward. Just for long enough to make him groggy when his alarm went off.
He hadn’t been this late for work in months, over half an hour, and scuttled in under several disapproving stares and went directly down to the basement, even though Sasha was at his desk. Clematis stayed down there in the dim light with no one to watch him, sitting backward on a chair and reading through journals the institute would see no value in keeping, without paying attention to the buzzes and chimes from his phone.
He’d already gotten some messages from Flor. Most of them were confusing. First, Morning sweet<3 and then, I don’t think I can see u tonight. Seeing david again. Is that ok? And then several more. You still want to come with me this weekend? To los cerros? We could go tmrw. David means well. I want 2 take u 2 zucchero.
Flor really was a terrible texter. Clematis had answered anyway, wrote Yes and felt both warm and uncertain when a string of stars and a bunch of information about the bus schedules was the response.
Clematis had put his phone away after that, to be safe.
He was poking through more journals and folders to avoid thinking about Flor’s kisses and Flor inside of him and never having either of those things again, when he heard someone making their way down the steps. No one ever visited him in the dark.
He walked around several rows of tall shelves in time to see Sasha stop at the last step and angle his head up. “Clematis?”
“What are you doing?” Clematis hurried over. “You shouldn’t be down here. The stairs are tricky, and it’s dark!”
“Yeah, that doesn’t really concern me,” Sasha said kindly. “The dark, that is. It is cold, though.” He shivered. His T-shirt left his arms bare. “You coming up for lunch? Er, I guess, to go home, since it’s your half day.”
“I—” Clematis glanced upward. “They aren’t going to want to see me.”
Sasha frowned. “Your jam is still in the fridge. I could bring it down here, and we could have lunch together. It’s not the scenery; it’s the company.” He moved his eyebrows in a way that was probably meant to be funny.
Clematis nudged his arm, but shook his head. “I’m not supposed to eat down here.”
“You’re not supposed to starve either,” Sasha pointed out.
Clematis looked at him sharply. “Why do the shiny ones care so much?” he asked and wiped his face in case he was dirty.
“What if I wasn’t hungry?”
Sasha made a face. “Tarō said fairies and weres are always hungry. Was he wrong?”
“When did he say that?” Clematis paused. “Have you talked with him again?”
“Just the one time!” Sasha protested, blushing a dusky red. “He flirts a lot. Is he like that with everyone?”
“Hmm.” Clematis regarded Sasha with narrowed eyes. “Your blush is very attractive, which I am sure he’s noticed. But poets and musicians are never to be trusted.”
“Pfft.” Sasha waved a hand. “If you are going to lecture me about romantic stuff, then let’s do it outside.”
“You’re bossy today,” Clematis observed, not disapproving.
“That’s….” Sasha’s mouth twisted. “That wasn’t much effort compared to what you usually say. Is something wrong? Other than being stuck in the basement, I mean.” He tipped his head back as if thinking something over. “You aren’t going to rush out of here to go see if Flor is at the MCC table today?” He lowered his head, and Clematis got the impression that if Sasha had been able to see, he would have pinned him to the spot with one glance. Shiny ones were all dangerous. “Did you and Flor have a fight? Couples fight all the time, and it doesn’t mean anything, or so they say.”
Clematis crossed his arms. “I told you he wasn’t my boyfriend.” Although that was what humans who dated would have called each other in this situation. At least, after some unknown point of courtship. “Flor and I don’t have a… a relationship like that,” he tacked on, though Sasha could not read his thoughts.
“He sounded like a boyfriend to me,” Sasha answered calmly. “And he sure acted like one. Tarō said it was only a matter of time now.”
“Stop listening to Tarō!” Clematis hissed. “He is not such a clever fox. Flor and I are… we’re sleeping together.” Clematis uncrossed his arms and tried to let go of his sudden tension. “Lots of people like to sleep with me.” He hesitated, then made his tone inviting. “Wouldn’t you like to find out why?”
Sasha’s lips parted with surprise. “Are you serious?”
“I’m a fairy.” Clematis was coaxing. He gently placed his hand to Sasha’s chest. “And like you said, I’m beautiful.”
“I’m not….” Sasha looked like he was blushing all the way down his chest. It was a shame his clothes prevented Clematis from enjoying the sight. Sasha coughed and tossed his head. He picked up Clematis’s hand and pulled it off him. “I’m not a, uh, casual sex sort of person. I need to have feelings for someone to even feel… that way.”
“Oh,” Clematis said, then dropped his hand to his side. “Feelings. Well, I don’t expect you to have those for me.”
Sasha frowned again. “And aside from the fact that you like Flor, I don’t think you really like me in that way. Not seriously. Because if you did… I mean, have you ever tried just asking someone to get coffee? Or dinner?”
Clematis pulled in a startled breath. “Wouldn’t it be easier just to fuck me?”
Sasha gaped again before composing himself with what looked like a lot of effort. “Clematis, are you afraid of asking someone on a date?” His eyes widened when Clematis didn’t answer. “You said you were beautiful!”
“Yes,” Clematis whispered. “But that’s all I am.”
He turned away, although Sasha couldn’t see his face, and jumped when Sasha touched his arm.
“Clematis?” Sasha was equally quiet. “You’re kinda messed-up, aren’t you? It’s okay,” he added reassuringly when he felt Clematis shudder. “It’s hard not to get like that, isn’t it? Life and everything.”
“The shiny ones.” Clematis heard the sobbing catch in his voice and shut his mouth firmly. It didn’t work. It never did. He always said too much. “You’re so shiny, Sasha.”
Sasha took his hand away and sounded confused. “I have no idea what that means, you know.”
“It means you’re too good for me.” Clematis rubbed his nose and focused hard on making the lump in his throat go away.
Sasha nodded slowly. “Okay. Is Flor too good for you too?”
“Of course.” Clematis heaved a breath. “If he were a human, he would be the sun.”
“Which is why he is not your boyfriend,” Sasha reasoned out loud. His tone was bemused and then sad. “So he’s good, even though he used you for sex?”
“He didn’t!” Clematis snapped indignantly, then felt his shoulders and wings droop. “But that is what I usually do.”
Sasha appeared taken aback by the admission. “Would you have done that to me?”
“Probably.” Clematis hung his head. “Before you got tired of me, or I ran. Are you angry with me?”
“Jesus.” Sasha stood there for several moments, breathing hard. “But you never did it. You probably could have.”
Clematis straightened. “You said you needed feelings.”
“Well, we’re friends?” Sasha blushed so easily. “It probably wouldn’t have been difficult for you. If you can attract the sun, I think you could have attracted me.”
“Flor is different,” Clematis answered at last, after a few attempts to speak that ended in squeaks or silence.
“Because he’s your boyfriend?” Sasha looked relieved to get back to a place where he could tease.
“Because there isn’t much I wouldn’t have done to get Flor to notice me.” Clematis hunched his shoulders and cringed at how small his voice was. “I’m still not sure what worked.”
“And he’s not your boyfriend?” Sasha waved his arm until he found the staircase railing and then clung to it.
“He says—” The breathless, crushed-chest feeling returned. Flor’s kisses had only put it off for a few hours. “He says he wants to date me. But that is not what two fairies should do. It isn’t the same as what I—soon, Flor will see me as I am and no longer want me, or he will, but it won’t matter because he will meet someone better. And that is only if David thinks it’s wise, and”—Flor had been so angry at the start of that call—“I don’t think he does.”
“David?” Sasha seemed lost. “Why does he get a say? Some fairy reason?”
“Because Flor values his opinion over anyone else’s, even his own.” Clematis sighed. The hitch in his voice could not be banished. “So, Flor is not my boyfriend, as humans say. I am lucky to be his friend.”
“Does he know you feel that way?” Sasha scowled. “Because if he does, he’s a dick.”
“Humans ask strange questions and I am too tired to answer them.” Clematis carefully came forward, then paused. “May I?” He put his forehead to Sasha’s shoulder and exhaled shakily. “Flor doesn’t know. If he did, he wouldn’t. He just wouldn’t. He’s good.”
After a few minutes, Sasha rested one hand at his back. “Do you know what humans usually do in this situation? Get drunk. What do fairies do?”
“Fuck someone.” Clematis closed his eyes when Sasha went tense. “We can’t get drunk without a lot of effort and cost, and the high never lasts long. Sex is easier.” He raised his head and opened his eyes to see Sasha worried. “I didn’t mean you, Sasha. Apparently you like Tarō better anyway.”
“I didn’t say that!” Sasha gulped.
“He’s smart and funny. I bet he doesn’t get as many people wondering why he bothers attending university. He would like to play Aramis to your Queen Anne, or at least wants you to think he does.” Clematis tried to summon a smile. “And his heart probably works like it’s supposed to. He’s a good choice, even with the poetry.”
“Clematis.” Sasha touched his shoulder, then his face. “Are you crying?” He swept his fingers beneath Clematis’s eyes and they came away wet, sparkling even in the bad light.
“Fairy tears,” Clematis whispered. “I’m sorry.”
“We need to get out of here,” Sasha decided with that same sudden boldness. “Come on. Get your stuff. It’s your half day. You’re already done.”
“What about you?” Clematis stared at him in shock, trying to wipe away h
is tears with one hand.
Sasha gave him a funny smile. “Have you never played hooky before? I suddenly don’t feel well. I think I need to go home early.”
“Fairies can’t lie,” Clematis reminded him, fascinated. “Will you lie to Mr. Harbaugh?”
“I will enjoy lying to Mr. Harbaugh,” Sasha told him, still smiling, but then held out his hand. The tears had already dried, leaving sparkles like diamond dust behind them, as rare as a dragon’s scale. Sasha couldn’t see them, but maybe he could feel them. He curled his hand into a fist and lost his smile. “What can I get you that isn’t alcohol or sex?”
“Sugar,” Clematis responded immediately. “Lots of it.”
“Sugar I can do.” Sasha nodded. “Let’s go get you some.”
LIS STOPPED dead the moment she came out of the kitchen and saw Clematis and Sasha at the counter. Randolph wasn’t working. A short, curvy pixy, currently named Dixie Daisy, was by the espresso bar and kept glancing longingly at Sasha.
Clematis sighed into his third cup of something called a hot vanilla.
Lis floated her way to them and leaned forward with her elbows on the counter.
“Dollface,” she greeted Clematis warily. “Who’s your friend?”
“This is Shiny Desk Human.” Clematis shoveled a handful of chocolate chips into his mouth, but they had no flavor. He choked them down and had another drink. Sasha’s mother was fond of eating chocolate chips for a snack, so Sasha had suggested he try it. Flor probably would love the idea. Clematis sighed heavily. “I mean, this is Sasha. He and I work together. Sasha, this is Lis. She owns this place. Or at least runs it.”
Lis studied Clematis with a penetrating stare, as if she knew he’d stopped in the grocery store bathroom to scrub his face clean. Then she turned to Sasha and smiled. “I’ve heard a lot about you but never expected to meet you.” She held out her hand, seemed to notice Sasha was blind, and gently touched the back of the hand he had wrapped around his cup.
Sasha extended his hand with a friendly but dazed smile. He’d had too much sugar for a human. Clematis had made him switch to water a few minutes ago. “Clematis and I work together. And… and we’re friends, I think.”
