It continues to feel like I’m still on the right path.
My relationships with my teammates are flourishing. Laughing is actually quite easy now, and the moments of sadness and guilty reflection are fewer.
I feel like I’m actually entitled to be happy. Frankly, a lot of the credit for that goes to Dr. Dumfries, who I’m still seeing a few times a week. He continues to encourage me to live my life, and he now has me confronting some of the more traumatic events of the crash. I have to give the man credit—he’s nowhere near the douche I had originally assumed him to be.
While I’m as open as I can be with him, I have outright lied to him as to why I’ve returned. There’s no way I could ever tell him about Nora and me because it could put her at risk for some type of censure. So I lied and told him the drive to her place was too inconvenient.
Luckily, our conversations haven’t even gotten close to discussing my readiness to date or open myself back up to romantic relationships. But because it’s team-ordered therapy, he tends to concentrate on what’s needed to better my relationships with my teammates and coaches, and that’s fine by me.
Nora and I are doing just fine.
More than fine—she’s simply amazing to me. I’ve missed her greatly this week.
I was gone Tuesday through Friday, playing games on the East Coast. I have one more road trip next week to Dallas to play my old team, then it’s playoff time. Our team plane landed late last night, but I was up early this morning. Nora took the day off, and we’re going to spend it together. It didn’t even take her a lot to convince me to go on a horseback ride with her to start out, and then we’d figure out what to do after that.
Not sure if it dings my man-credibility or not, but the fact Nora’s waiting for me on the porch stoop when I pull up in front of her ranch house makes my chest constrict a bit. She pops up, leveling a broad smile as I bring my truck to a halt.
She’s at my door waiting for me when I open it and then to my utter fucking delight, she’s climbing up on the running board to wrap her arms around my neck and press her mouth to mine.
MJ never would have done that. She was more reserved by nature. Very loving and affectionate, but usually in a responsive way.
I don’t let myself feel guilt for making that comparison. It’s natural, and Nora has validated that for me. She’s also not threatened by it, so I let it ride, choosing to appreciate the difference instead.
I can’t say I would ever mind Nora climbing on me.
Just as one hand is going to her ass, she manages to pull away slightly to look me right in the eye. A woman who is not afraid to express her feelings, she says, “I really missed you this week.”
“Same,” I mutter, ridiculously overwhelmed by the emotion in her voice and feeling completely lacking in giving it back. Not that I don’t want to, but it’s hard… uttering feelings.
Nora knows it, and she purses her lips in a cute smile. “Ready to ride?”
“As ready as I’ll ever be,” I say.
She hops off the running board, letting me exit my truck, and continues to chatter. “After, I thought I’d make us some lunch. I got a bunch of great deli meats and I can make some hoagies or something. And then after,” she winks at me over her shoulder, “there’s something wrong with my bed. I could use your help in figuring it out.”
Chuckling, I grab her hand, halt her forward progression, and pull her into me. Our arms go around each other, and Nora grins up at me. “I’ve missed having you next to me at night.”
Her eyes soften, as does her mouth, and I can tell they were the right words to say.
Dipping my head, I get close to her face so I can murmur, “I missed being inside you.”
Nora groans, her eyes fluttering closed. Bringing a hand to the back of her head, I press my lips to her brow just briefly before I promise her, “But we’re more than likely to break your bed versus fixing it later. Just so you know.”
Another groan from Nora, and she presses in close to me. My heartbeat pulses at her nearness. I inhale, letting just her scent alone consume me.
Maybe a horse ride is a stupid idea.
“Come on,” Nora drawls as she pulls away, taking my hand in hers. “Let’s go saddle up.”
I keep my thoughts to myself because her idea of saddling up and mine are probably two very separate things at this point.
She leads me over to the barn, and the happy nickers that some of the horses give as they poke their heads from their stalls are all reserved for Nora. Those animals love her with an unshakable bond.
I start to reach out to touch the nose of a dappled gray horse that’s especially friendly when Nora drops my hand and says, “What’s wrong?”
For a moment, I’m confused, but then I see Raul kneeling on one knee by a wooden box used to hold equipment. He’s resting a forearm on the edge and his head is hanging low, his trademark straw hat on the ground.
Nora rushes to his side, and I hustle over there as well. Raul’s head hangs heavy, but his eyes lift to meet hers. He gives it a small shake, his voice gruff. “I’m fine. Just a little dizzy is all. Too hot, I think.”
The man is sweating, but it’s not overly hot in here.
Nora goes to her knees, putting her face near his. “Raul… you’re scaring me.”
He gives an annoyed wave of his hand, dismissing her concerns. “I’m fine. Just a little hot is all.”
“And dizzy,” she says, repeating his own words. “Are you feeling anything else? Pain? Chest pressure?”
Glad she’s asking those questions. It’s what I’d be concerned about.
With a grunting effort and another head shake, Raul pushes up to a standing position. Nora tries to help him, but he shrugs her off. “I’m fine. Just needed a little break.”
Nora meets my eyes, and I can tell that doesn’t assure her at all. She also appears a bit stymied, because Raul is blowing her off in a pretty firm manner. I don’t have any such qualms about strong-arming him if need be, though.
“You look a little pale,” I say, coming to Nora’s side. My hand goes to her back, a show of support.
“I’m a little queasy,” he admits. Nora rolls her eyes, annoyed I got that info out of him. “Maybe a stomach bug.”
Maybe not.
I don’t miss the subtle drift of his hand to his chest where he rubs at the center of it.
Nora doesn’t miss it either. “Does your chest hurt?” she demands.
“Heartburn,” he mutters. “The chorizo and eggs this morning coming back to haunt me.”
Nora’s eyebrow cocks high, telling me she doesn’t know whether to believe him or not.
“How about I take you to an urgent care clinic,” she suggests gently. “Maybe you’ve got a bug or something that could use a hit of antibiotics.”
“I don’t need no damn doctor,” he growls. When Nora flinches from his tone, I have to clench my fists, but they unfurl when Raul immediately backpedals. “I’m sorry, honey. I’m just grumpy because I don’t feel good.”
“Will you at least lay down and rest?” she suggests, putting her arm on his shoulder. “It will make me feel better.”
“Got too much to do,” he replies, but I note he doesn’t shrug off her touch. “Getting ready to feed the horses—”
“I can handle that,” Nora interrupts, cutting off any excuses.
“And I’ll help,” I add. Looks like our day spent together is going to be working the ranch, but I’m fine by that as long as I get to be around Nora.
“In fact,” Nora drawls, looking from Raul to me. “Tacker… do you mind driving Raul to the main house in the Gator?”
Next ensues a five-minute argument between Nora and Raul, who is adamantly opposed to being coddled and put to bed in her house so she can tend to him.
When their voices start rising in frustration, I take matters into my own hands. “Come on, Raul,” I say with a jerk of my head to the Gator. “I’m going to drive you to your house. Nora can start feeding
the horses, and I’ll make sure you’re all set up. Then you can call us if you need us, okay?”
Nora opens her mouth, but I give her a slight shake of my head. Let it go, babe.
Gritting her teeth, she gives a huff of annoyance before stomping off to the storage room at the other end of the barn to grab some feed.
Raul immediately looks relieved, and even paler if possible. Without a word, he starts ambling to the Gator, his hand rubbing at his breastbone again.
I jump in the driver’s seat, and Raul has to point me to the correct trail to take. I’ve never even seen his house on the property, but, then again, I haven’t seen much of the full ranch yet. I had hoped to do that with Nora today, but that will easily wait for another time.
He’s quiet on the drive, somewhat slumped in his seat and a little green around the gills.
“Mano e mano,” I say as we bump along the dirt trail to his house. “What’s going on with you?”
“First,” Raul says, arching an eyebrow. “Don’t try to butter me up with poor Spanish.”
I snort, my lips curling up.
“Second,” he says a little more quietly. “I don’t know what’s going on. I feel like shit, okay, and I don’t want Nora to worry about me. Probably a bug like she says. Going to lay down and sleep it off. I’ll be fine after.”
“Heartburn, huh?” I press. Once again, I let my gaze linger on the hand rubbing at his chest. It drops, and he stubbornly refuses to answer me.
A small one-story ranch house comes into view with the same type of stucco siding and red-tiled roof as Nora’s larger house. It’s cute… has hanging baskets of flowers and a well-manicured yard filled with cacti and other desert flora.
“You two getting serious?” Raul asks, which catches me by surprise. I glance over at him.
He just stares right back, determination in his eyes that I’m not to blow off his curiosities or concerns.
“I think so,” I say, keeping it vague enough that if he wants more info, he’s going to have to push me for it. I might be an open book with Nora or Dr. Dumfries these days, but I keep stuff pretty close to the vest from most people. Maybe I’ve told Aaron a little bit about my feelings for Nora, but I’m still navigating all kinds of murky, guilty waters so I don’t talk about it much.
“She’s different,” Raul says, then goes silent.
Son of a bitch is playing my vague game and making me work if I want the info. And I most certainly do.
“Different how?” I press as I bring the Gator to a stop in front of his porch.
“Smiling all the time,” he says, his eyes boring hard into mine. “Lighter in her step. Fucking bluebirds on her shoulders and stuff like that.”
The grin that comes unbidden to my face makes him grimace. “Really?” I ask, sounding a little too much like a middle-schooler for my ultimate tastes, but no taking that back.
“She likes you, Tacker,” Raul says earnestly. “A lot. Don’t mess it up, okay?”
“You already had that talk with me, remember?”
“Just reiterating,” he mutters as he hauls himself out of the Gator. He bends to poke his pale, sweaty face inside. “I love that girl more than anything. And I like you, too. I don’t want to see either of you get hurt or let down.”
“I don’t see that happening,” I assure him. “You have to know I care for her quite a bit, right?”
“I think so,” he concedes, then straightens. “Now, I’m hauling my ass to bed.”
“We’ll check in on you later,” I say. “Bring you something to try for lunch if you’re up to it.”
“I don’t need no damn lunch,” he snarls, but I don’t argue with him. There’s no way Nora is going to let him languish in this house by himself without trying to care for him.
Raul is like her father.
She’s like his daughter.
I fully understand the stakes here and the depth of caring that goes on between these two people.
And yeah… I’m touched Raul said he liked me, too. It means a lot that I have his approval for Nora.
CHAPTER 27
Nora
“I can’t,” I moan as I move up and down on Tacker’s shaft. He fills me almost to the breaking point, where I’m afraid I won’t be able to handle the cataclysmic release cresting just over the horizon.
Tacker’s large hands grip me by the hips. With his biceps bulging, he helps me ride him a little faster.
“You can,” he grunts.
Pressing my palms into his chest, I toss my head back and close my eyes, feeling the fullness of him inside of me. How complete it makes me feel, yet it scares me at the same time because I’ve never felt this level of emotional fulfillment when having sex with a man before.
I’ve had relationships.
Serious relationships.
Or so I’d thought.
This, though… I really can’t even describe it. In all my years of counseling, observing people, and reading books about love and partnership, no one has ever described this type of feeling to me.
This almost undeniable fit as if we’re complex puzzle pieces that have joined solidly together, forming a whole.
Tingling starts in my lower back, spreading between my legs. I start to lose it. “I’m going to come, Tacker.”
He groans and bucks his hips upward, driving into me deep. His hand drifts, his thumb presses on my clit, and I shatter.
Purely shatter into a million little puzzle pieces he’ll help me put back together when I come down from this high.
“Fuck yes,” Tacker praises me, obviously feeling my body ripple around his cock. He drives his pelvis up again, digs his fingers into my hips hard, and groans out his release. Tiny little jerks of his hips as he orgasms make it even sweeter, as if he’s trying to gyrate out every last bit of feeling from what we just experienced.
I fall flat onto his chest, unable to even hold myself up. It’s amazing how I can be filled with so much satisfaction yet feel completely depleted at the same time.
Tacker’s hand settles on my back. He strokes me lightly as we pant and huff through the orgasmic aftershocks.
When we’ve quieted enough, when he’s clearly regained a little of his strength, he gently rolls me to the side. The slide of his cock leaving my body always feels like an important loss, but it’s what we do after.
Tacker exits the bed, disappearing into the bathroom to get rid of the condom. In moments, he’s back and sliding into bed. When I’m pulled into his embrace, my head goes to his shoulder, his arm coming around my back to hold me securely to him.
It’s at moments like this when we end up having our best talks. While not much remains of his walls these days, there’s something about the intimacy of sex that seems to obliterate any hesitations in transparency.
“Think we need to do a late-night check on Raul?” Tacker asks.
I feel a twinge of guilt I’m still stuck in the sweet post-cuddle feelings of amazing sex while Tacker is already thinking about Raul.
“Yeah,” I say. Because I do. While Raul said he felt better at dinner when I’d brought him soup, I was still worried. I saw him rubbing at his chest again. That, coupled with the sweating and nausea, had me gravely concerned about him having a heart attack.
At lunch today, I couldn’t afford to tiptoe around him or pull punches. I was too worried. I’d point blank said, “If this is your heart, we can’t mess around with that.”
Raul blew me off. Pointed out there’s no risk of heart disease in his family. He’s healthy as a horse, strong as an ox, and as mean as a burro. He assured me he had some heartburn and possibly a stomach bug, and that was all.
He’d actually convinced me then. Since he’d looked better at dinner, I let the nagging go.
But still… one last check. Pushing up slightly, I ask Tacker for my phone, which is on the table nearest him.
He hands it to me, so I shoot a quick text to Raul. How are you feeling?
It’s nearing ten, but Raul is nor
mally a late-night person. I’m not surprised when he texts me right back. Good. I’ll see you bright and early tomorrow.
I send a heart emoji back.
“He okay?” Tacker asks.
“He says so,” I reply as I hand my phone back to him. “Says he’s ready to work tomorrow.”
I expect Tacker to deposit my phone on the table, then pull me into his arms. I know him—he’ll recharge and be ready to go again one more time at least before we go to sleep, and I’ll be ready.
But we always settle in deep and just hold each other for a while as we exchange murmured words.
Instead, Tacker rolls and comes over me, going into a complete straddle at my hips.
Holding my phone up, he taps something, then positions it in a way that makes it obvious he’s taking a photo of me.
“Stop,” I exclaim, covering my breasts with my hands as I laugh. “You pervert.”
Tacker rolls his eyes. “Keep your tits covered for all I care. It’s your face I want.”
Damn… that turns me into a puddle of goo.
My camera clicks as he takes several as I just lay there, half embarrassed at being so exposed.
Not my breasts or my nakedness, but that he’s interested in my face.
“You’re stunning,” he murmurs as he snaps another picture.
I can’t help that my lips curl into a smile. It actually makes his breath catch, which makes my breath catch. He takes another picture, then he starts working the phone again. After a few taps, his brow furrows in concentration until he finally says, “There. Texted them all to my phone.”
He then turns the phone downward one more time, hovering it right over his cock, which has softened but is still quite impressive in size. He snaps a pick, handing my phone back to me with a grin. “Now you can look at this when we’re apart.”
“Oh my God, you didn’t just take a dick pic, did you?”
He smirks as he presses my phone into my hands. “You know you want it.”
I sort of do. While he rolls off me to the mattress again, I pull up the photo he just took and it’s really quite beautiful.
Tacker Page 19
