Revelation of Raelia: Book One

by Tammy W. Pechin

  “Stop yelling at me! Why are you doing that, I'm not doing anything wrong and I won't leave. Besides you know I can't even walk straight, how far could I go.” I grab his hand as it locks.

  “You clearly can't be trusted, and I know you are still drunk. I don't want you wondering off causing me anymore trouble tonight.”

  “I won't go anywhere, unlock it now Kallem!” I demanded as I kept a tight grasp on his hand.

  “No Raelia, go to sleep! I will talk to you when you sober up.” Kallem pulls his hand out of mine.

  “Kallem, you unlock this cuff right now.” I commanded again in anger.

  “Since when do you tell me what to do, that's not how this works. Now get some sleep.” Kallem teases as he ignores my demands.

  I finally snap. I'm tired, confused, angry, alone and I miss my life. I break completely down as my entire body tenses up and I start to sob and wail.

  “Raelia, why are you crying; that isn't going to get me to uncuff you.” he sits up on the bed and looks at me.

  “I don't want to have the cuff on, I am cold, I don't want to sleep alone in the floor, and I'm tired and lonely and everyone is always mad at me. I'm even mad at me. I'm confused and you have yelled at me all night. You lied to me and now we are fighting again, and you put the cuff back on. I don't like when your angry with me, it makes me feel horrible.”

  “Let me get this straight, you're upset with me for being upset with you once again for getting into trouble. You're upset with yourself for making me angry. I did lie to you, but I felt at the time I had a reason to do so, and I am sorry that it ended up hurting you. I am not yelling at you, I raise my tone because I feel like you are not listening to anything I say, but judging by this conversation, you have heard me. So far am I correct?”

  “Yeah…” I sniffle as I try continuing to cry with my arm hiding my face.

  “Good, now what I didn't understand is that you don't want to sleep alone… can you explain to me what exactly you mean by that?”

  “I don't know…” I say looking up at him confusingly.

  “Well then I can't help you, I don't know what you want, seems like you don't either.” He starts to lay back down.

  “Wait, I mean, I want to sleep in your bed, with you. I don't want to be alone right now. Can I just sleep beside you this one time? Just so I don't have to be alone tonight.” I mumble with my head on my knees and my hair covering my face.

  “If that's really what you want, then yes. You can sleep beside me tonight. Come on over and get under the covers.” He looks at me with a grin of satisfaction.

  I crawl into the bed and cover up as he moves over to give me room, but I can tell he is trying to keep his space from me.

  “Kallem?”

  “Can you hug me to keep me warm until I fall asleep?” I don't know what I am thinking, but it's been so long since I have even had a hug.

  “Yes… I can if it helps.” Kallem looks at me as he puts his arm around me.

  I immediately start crying again.

  “Oh, what is wrong? You said you wanted a hug right.” Kallem asks lifting his arm.

  “Nothing, I just haven't had someone hug me in so long, and I wanted you to hug me and you did. I just want you to not be upset with me.” I explain to him with my eyes closed and my head turned away from him.

  “Look at me, I'm not upset right now, especially not upset with you wanting a hug. It took a lot for you to even ask and I am glad you did.” Kallem says as he takes his hand to move my face back towards him.

  “I want you to know, I like you more than I think you know. This is the first time you have been open and honest about how you are feeling with me since I met you. It did take an entire bottle of wine to make you ask for some attention from me. The rules are a bit cloudy about things like this, so we can talk more about how you feel tomorrow when you sober up. For now, just get some sleep, you can barely hold your eyes open.” Kallem wraps his arm back around me tightly as I lay my head down across his shoulder.

  “Ok good night Kallem.” I say snugging my face into his shirt and letting out a sigh of relief as I lay in a warm bed filled with comfort.

  The next morning the light appears through the window causing me to start to wake as I realize it is morning. I wake up to find my head on Kallem's chest as he is sleeping. I quickly turn to get up falling off the bed and into the floor with a loud painful thump.

  “Shit that hurt.” I exclaim as I put my hands on the floor and scoot back from the bed a bit.

  Kallem jumps up, “Are you okay? Did you fall out of the bed?”

  “I'm sorry Kallem I don't know what I was thinking, I won't do it again I swear.” Worried that he was upset with me, and not aware of everything that happened.

  “You're fine Raelia, do you not remember what all happened last night?” Kallem sits on the edge of the bed looking at me.

  “Some, yes. How embarrassing …which I said I am sorry; I didn't mean to cause so much trouble.”

  “I know, and it's okay. Do you remember why you were in the bed when you woke up this morning then?” Kallem says as he comes down into the floor beside me.

  “Embarrassingly, a little bit. That wasn't my place to say anything like I did, I know I can't sleep in your bed and I know there are rules I have to follow, and I won't bug you like that again, so don't be upset with me please.”

  “So, do you regret anything you said?”

  “Yes and no?” I look at him as I notice he has his hand on top of mine.

  “Well that sounds confusing.” He jokes.

  “I don't want to say anything wrong.” I say staring at his hand.

  “At least try to explain and I promise I won't be harsh with you.” Kallem picks my hand up off the floor and holds it.

  I scratch my head and pull my hair back while trying to think about what to say.

  “uh, I think maybe seeing you happy with Krista made me upset, and I didn't know why. Like always I sabotage myself by doing something like I did and acting out. Krista seems to like you, and I feel bad because I shouldn't get in the way, but it did hurt my feelings. Then I found my bag and got angry. I was angry and hurt and I really suck at dealing with my feelings.”

  “How about for now you don't worry about Krista, because I'll admit she is nice and I had fun having her over, but I am not interested in a romantic relationship with her.”

  “Wait, I thought you were?”

  “No, but what about you and Coven?” He quickly responds.

  “Coven is attractive, but he is for sure nothing more than a friend that I enjoy talking to because I have no one else when…” I stop myself and look away from Kallem.

  “Continue…” Kallem insisted.

  “You leave me here alone, or your upset with me and won't speak with me, then I talk to Coven because you don't want to talk to me.”

  “I do want to talk to you, I just don't know how to sometimes. Maybe it's time we work on better communication instead of fighting with each other because we both assume; we know how the other feels.” Kallem wraps his arm around me as he hugs me.

  “I just feel lost; emotionally. It's hard adapting to all these changes and I am tired of doing everything alone.” I sigh as relax my body and embrace Kallem tightly in my arms.

  Things didn't get less confusing though, and while there was returned comfort and friendship between Kallem and I; what did it mean? What is this relationship that we have; we often enjoyed time together, but it didn't move past that point.

  CHAPTER 7

  GIVING BIRTH TO CHAOS

  T

  hings continued to get better between Kallem and I, and our biggest disagreement is the fact that Kallem continues to clench onto the idea that in time I will not only accept the new society that he has welcomed as his home, but that eventually I will recognize and tolerate this way of life as my own future. This isn't the future I want for myself or for anyone else; to be a servant to anyone or any society built on the idea that people co
uld be used as commission. I know that Kallem does think it is a temporary building block that is necessary, however it is the same building blocks used to construct the same society that just failed on an epic scale. Which is exactly what he doesn't understand, and he is just falling back into the rhythm of humanities patterns of familiarity. If we want a better future, then maybe we should start with not repeating the same history that lead us to this exact moment. I stand here day after day, peering out of the same small window, contemplating if it's worth it to attempt another daring escape. Trapped, glaring at the sunlight reflecting on the morning dew grass, the smell of autumn and freshly baked bread. Autumn has now come to an end, and the trees are bare. I'm always here waiting for another chance to leave my prison. While I said things have been better between me and Kallem; I still want to go find my parents and I am constantly torn about how I feel inside for Kallem and feeling like I am neglecting the search for my parents.

  My thoughts interrupted early this morning by a banging on the door. Kallem opens the door to be informed that Dailah is finally in labor. I say finally because she is almost two weeks overdue and Kallem has being going to visit her almost daily to check on her and the baby. He has been taking me with him to some of the medical visits so that he can teach me some of the basics and I take pleasure in visiting with Dailah because she is a creative and fun person that doesn't treat me like a servant.

  “Raelia wash up and come with me.” Kallem urges me to be quick and I run to wash my hands.

  We rush from the house and as soon as my bare feet hit the damp grass, I stop for a moment to enjoy the feeling of the ground against my feet and to embrace the sunlight as it beams down on my skin. I haven't been outside in a couple of days, since Kallem has kept me so busy in the house with chores this week and it's getting much colder outside as we have reached the beginning of the winter months.

  “Raleigh, why did you stop, hurry up!” Kallem commands with urgency.

  “Sorry, let's go.” I sigh as I focus in on his voice.

  Snapping out of it and quickly chasing after Kallem we quickly reach Dailah's home. When we arrive, she is lying in bed alone since her husband has been away for the day hunting. Kallem rushes to her side, tossing down his bag of supplies and medicines to the floor beside him. I stand there watching him as he feels her stomach and tries to calm Dailah. He grabs some cloths and has me fetch the pitcher of water and warm it by the fire.

  “She is dilated fully dilated; the baby is coming any minute. Get over here and get ready to help me with the birth. Wash your hands again really well again and come over here.”

  “Me? I don't know anything about delivering a baby.” I start to panic as look to him for guidance; trying to not worry Dailah.

  “No, but I do and you're here to assist me, so keep it together and I will tell you what to do.”

  Dailah grabs my hand and grips it tightly, and I find myself trying to calm her. Which all of this was new to me. Before I knew it, I was helping give birth to a healthy baby girl with the most gorgeous ivory skin and honey hair I have ever seen. I found myself wondering before this moment, why anyone would ever want to have a child in this world, in such chaos. Then upon gazing at her beautiful rosy cheeks, hazel eyes, and golden honey colored hair, this was the minute I found beauty in a world filled with chaos. That moment all the misery left because I saw a single light amidst all the darkness, and I felt a spark again inside myself when I looked at her.

  Kallem snaps me out of my loving gaze by yelling, “She is losing too much blood. Take the baby and run to see if her husband has returned. Some people sent out for him. I will do all I can to stop the bleeding.”

  Like that the light turns back into darkness, as I quickly wrap the blood tainted baby girl in a cloth as I try to clean her off and run out the door seeking her husband. I make it to the gates to find the search party has not returned. I pace quickly back and forth in front of the entrance. Knowing I can't leave with the baby, it isn't safe for her. Rushing back with the baby to find people surrounding the outside as Kallem inside the he works frantically to save Dailah. Kallem tells me to wait outside, I grip the baby tightly against me embracing her as I pace back and forth.

  Around an hour later I sit outside with her wrapped in a blanket and tucked inside of my dress as well for warmth, and I comfort her as she cries with hunger, I do all I can to keep her happy. When the door opens and Kallem emerges covered in blood. I knew immediately that Dailah didn't make it, it was written all over Kallem's sweat covered face as I notice the tears in his eyes. I sat their holding this baby girl as I started to cry with her. Dailah's husband comes running around the corner of the house finally and darts around us and into the house as everyone tries to stop him and embrace him. As all the noise breaks out from the weeping, suddenly it becomes quite as I stare into the baby's eyes. Knowing no pain will be as great as hers, and we need to be strong, so she can be strong too. I stand up and walk over to embrace Kallem with the baby in my arms. The father eventually comes to see the girl and he thanks us for trying to help his wife, with tears still streaming down his face, as he requests to hold his new baby girl.

  “I will be forever grateful for all your help Kallem. Life isn't fair, I lost my wife but gained this beautiful baby girl of mine. I couldn't imagine a world without my wife and when I look at my daughter, I will always still see a part of her, and I know it's going to be okay. We made such a beautiful child together and she is priceless gift.”

  I hand Holter his baby girl, he looks at her the same loving way that he always did his wife.

  “How can I repay you for all of this, you know that we didn't have much to trade and now things will be much harder with just me raising the baby alone. I can help you in any way that you need Kallem.”

  “Don't worry, you know she was my friend and I had known her for so long, it's devastating to lose her. No bill, no trade, you will have your hands full with your daughter. She will keep you on your toes, you just worry about her; you take care of yourself too.” Kallem puts his arm around his back.

  “Thank you Kallem, I am forever in your debt. How about a name? We had talked about names but never picked out one. Although Dailah did really love the name Bella.

  “I have no clue, what about you Raelia?” questioned Kallem as he looked at me knowing how I felt about having children born into this chaotic world we live in.

  “It may not be my place but as I was comforting your wife, right after the baby was born, I told her it is amazing to see the birth of someone so beautiful in all this chaos, and she said that we all can find something beautiful that we love even in the darkest of times. So maybe we could call her Bella Chaos, since Bella means beautiful and she is the most beautiful girl I have ever seen and Chaos to remind us that she came to take us out of the dark?” I stated in a loving tone.

  “That's a wonderful Idea. If my wife thought it was beautiful then I agree, and she was most defiantly born as beautiful chaos. I really like that idea; Raelia if Kallem doesn't mind maybe you can come and help me with Bella sometimes?” He smiles at me as excitement fills my face.

  “Anytime, I would love to help you with her anytime. Kallem will I be able to come help?” I beg turning to Kallem and grabbing his hand.

  Kallem laughs, “Don't worry, I will have to come check on Bella daily for a week and then maybe a couple of times the next week. Raelia can join me when I come of course, since she obviously seems eager to help. In the meanwhile, please come to me if you have any questions or concerns, and I do mean for anything, even if you just need someone to talk to. I will always be here for you in any way that I can.”

  “Thank you Kallem for everything, and I will come to you if I have any problems. Although, I know you're tired and ready to go home, but what can I feed her, what should I do?” The father asks with concern and confusion.

  “Oh, I've already got that covered. I have a baby bottle that I had been saving just in case something like this ever happens, also
there is a mother that has spoken with me tonight that will donate some milk each day and goats milk will be added to her diet to supplement if needed. The donor will be by soon with milk to help you with feeding her.” The doctor points him towards some ladies standing nearby, one holding a baby of almost a year old.

  “That's great Kallem. I am so grateful; you have thought of everything.”

  “I'm looking out for you, don't worry, we will be here for you.” Kallem hugs him. “We are going to head back to the house and try to eat something light before bed. You come to me, for anything, good night Holter.”

  “Night you two, I'll see you both tomorrow when you come by.” Holter wave's goodbye embracing Bella closely as the twilight has turned into darkness.

  “Kallem, What about Dailah?” I inquire as we are walking home.

  “We hold a funeral the night after the death in the town center and cremate them once their loved ones have had time to say their goodbyes.” Kallem explains as it is a common practice.

  “Oh, so that will be tomorrow night then. Can I go?” Asking as I stutter from shivering; rubbing my arms.

  “If you wish Raelia, then you can come with me.”

  “Yeah, I would like to go.”

  “Of course, then we will both attend.”

  Kallem wraps his arm around me as he notices that I am shivering. We get home and rush inside, he starts the fire, throwing a log on. Then taking off his shirt and throwing it into the fire since it is covered in blood.

  Too tired to eat I retreat my corner bending down in the floor on my knees as I look up to see Kallem standing over me.

  “You did a great job today; I couldn't prouder of how you handled the stress even though I know it wasn't easy for you.” He said, bending down onto his knees in front of me and he takes my hands into his.

  “I don't know how I did, I looked at her …” I stop to take a deep breath for a moment while glaring at his hands touching mine.