Shadowed Desire: Daughters of the Vieux Carré Book 5

by Rowlyn, Rhys

  “She wasn’t. I felt bad for Etienne.” Jean Pierre crouches until he meets my gaze. “I know you’re wary of the mate bond, but give Etienne a chance. He’s a good man, and I honestly believe you’ll like him. He was also a doctor, and you told me you have just become a nurse.”

  The reference to my newly acquired nursing degree causes a pang in my chest. I worked so hard to finish college, and if what they are saying is true, then it was all for nothing. “Yes, I have a degree I’m not going to be able to use. But I do admit, him being a doctor is interesting. I wonder what it was like back then. He’ll be amazed at all the advances we’ve achieved.”

  “I’m sure he will be.” Jean Pierre smiles, his stance relaxing.

  I’m trying to keep an open mind about all this, but it doesn’t mean I will fall at his feet. I still refuse to have my heart wrenched out by a man. “What does he look like?”

  Jean Pierre leans back slightly, wrinkling his brow. “I don’t know. The ladies liked him back in the day.”

  “All of you are good looking, so I don’t imagine that was a problem for any of you.” Ciara bumps his shoulder with hers, laughing.

  “This is true.” He waggles his brows, smirking at us, and we shake our heads, laughing. He may be joking, but he’s not lying. All the men in this group are very good looking, but then so are the women. It’s like being at a model convention.

  “I’m guessing he’s big, like the rest of you.” I look him up and down. It’s not that big men intimidate me. No, they treat me like I’m fragile. Just because I’m short doesn’t mean I break easily.

  “He’s about my size, so oui, but he would never hurt you.” Jean Pierre pulls me into a hug and squeezes me against his side.

  “I guess I’ll have to wait and see how it goes. I swear my life keeps getting better and better.” I really hope someone has changed me the next time I encounter Minerva. I owe her a good ole Southern ass-whooping.

  “Hopefully, one day you will believe that is true.” Cara pats my cheek.

  “I hope you’re right.” And I really do.

  Etienne

  Everyone is watching as I meet my mate for the first time, and I have to take a calming breath to not let anger rule the day. I must remember they are protecting my mate, and this is a good thing, but they should know I’m fine. I would never hurt her. She is the most precious thing on Earth.

  “Are you sure you’re in control?” Jean Pierre whispers out the side of his mouth.

  “Yes, why are you so worried, and why is it so important to you? She is my mate.” I growl at him and clench my fists to stop myself from putting them around his neck. I know I shouldn’t be jealous of Jean Pierre, but he talks about my mate with too much familiarity for my comfort.

  “We were held captive together, and I’ve developed a protective streak for her. She’s become like a little sister to me.” Jean Pierre slaps my back, grinning.

  “Besides, you were completely out of control when you woke up, and it took all Bram and I had to hold you down.” Phillipe squeezes my shoulder, standing on the opposite side of me from Jean Pierre. They have strategically placed themselves on either side, and I know they’re still worried. I do understand that her scent is unique, but she’s my mate, for heaven’s sake.

  “The worst one yet,” Cassie says with a wink.

  “Only because she was taken away and I needed to get to her.” I’ve tried explaining this to them on several occasions, but they won’t listen.

  “Still, it was bad, and none of us want anything to happen to Lucy.” Giselle loops her arm through Phillipe’s, resting her head against his arm. “She’s had a rough time.”

  “I am the one who should be protecting her. She is my mate.” Merde, what is wrong with these people?

  “Yes, and she’s on her way over to meet you. She’s a little skittish, but we’ve explained who you are. Also, I think you’ll understand our protectiveness when you meet her.” Phillipe is trying to explain why they’re all acting so strangely, but it’s only confusing me more.

  I scent her and instantly calm. She’s near, and I remind myself she’s been through captivity with Minerva. I really want to get my hands on that bitch. How dare she hurt my mate?

  Jean Pierre also told me she was leery of having a mate. This is concerning, but I’m hoping the mate bond will help her get over this.

  She walks in and I still, enthralled with her. She’s absolutely perfect. She’s small in stature but possesses a woman’s body and curves. She has long black hair and large, wide gray eyes that look as if they contain a rainstorm. I wonder if they might change with her mood, and I can only imagine what they will look like when she is overcome with passion. She has an innocent air about her, and I am beginning to understand why they are being so protective. There is something about her that makes me want to tuck her away and keep all harm from her.

  She approaches me tentatively, her gaze darting around the room, but she holds out her hand for me to take. “Hello, I’m Lucy Theriot.”

  “And I am Etienne Mercier.” I step forward and take her hand in mine, then feel her tremble slightly. I hope she’s not afraid of me. Nothing would hurt me more than for my mate to fear me.

  “I hear you are my mate.” She smiles slightly, and her cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink.

  I stare at her for a few seconds until Phillipe elbows me in the back. “Oui, that I am. Sorry, I’m just so happy to meet you.”

  She glances around and then leans closer to me to whisper, “Do you think we could talk somewhere privately?”

  Jean Pierre touches her elbow, and I can’t stop the small growl I let out. “Lucy, do you think that’s wise?” He glares at me, and I take a deep breath to calm myself. I can’t have them thinking I’m losing control, and growling over a simple touch is not very encouraging.

  She looks over her shoulder at Jean Pierre with wide eyes. “You said he would never hurt me, and I don’t like all of you watching us like we’re a specimen under a microscope.”

  He nods and backs away, giving me a stern look. I nod back, hopefully assuring him she will be safe. In this moment, I know she is the most important thing to me, and her safety and happiness take precedence over everything.

  “She’s right. Everyone out, and I mean out of the house. We all know simply leaving the room won’t give them any privacy. Come on, we can go next door or to Nyla’s house.” Giselle herds everyone out the door and grins at me over her shoulder.

  I wait until I am sure they have all left and motion toward a chair. “Would you like to have a seat?”

  “Thanks.” She sits on the edge of the chair, and I sit across from her, both of us looking around the room and not meeting each other’s gazes. I hate this awkwardness but am unsure of how to break it. When I would meet a woman before, it happened naturally, and conversation would just flow. This has expectations and pressure attached to it.

  We sit in silence for a few seconds and then both talk at the same time. I smile and nod for her to continue.

  “I’m just going to cut to the chase. I don’t know how I feel about this whole mate thing. I hadn’t planned on settling down for a long while, if ever. I get that we’re supposed to really like each other, but I don’t want to give you any false hope.” She bites her lower lip, folding her hands on her lap.

  I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but I’ve never been one to shy away from a challenge. Phillipe is my best friend, and if the mate bond between Lucy and myself is anything like his with Giselle, then fate is on my side. I feel very drawn to her physically, and I desire to protect her, but I know love comes over time and getting to know one another. “I understand and know it’s a lot to take in. This does not have to happen overnight. We have plenty of time. We don’t have to rush into anything. I am a patient man and can wait until you are ready.”

  “That’s nice, and thank you.” She bows her head, staring at her folded hands.

  “You don’t have to thank me for do
ing what is right.” I lean forward and lift her chin with my finger until her eyes meet mine. My finger tingles where it meets her skin, and her eyes widen with awareness. So it is true. The physical aspects of our relationship most likely won’t be a problem.

  She leans away until I drop my hand. “So, because you are my mate, do you feel compelled to change me?”

  “Yes, the urge to change you is there, but it’s not something we have to do immediately or ever if you don’t want to.” I don’t want her to fear this. I hope she will eventually desire to change, but I refuse to force it upon her.

  “But what would happen if I didn’t change and grew old and died? What would you do?” She purses her lips and narrows her eyes. Ah, a little test from my mate.

  “I would stay by your side and have someone take off my head when you passed. I would not want to live without you. Of course I hope for a happier ending than this, but if this is what you want, then I will abide by your wishes.” I smile, hoping I’ve reassured her that I don’t intend to make her do anything she doesn’t want to.

  Lucy sits back in her chair, her mouth opening and closing. “You’re that sure of our bond?”

  “The one we are going to form, oui. I am that sure of it. I already feel drawn to you, and I’ve already witnessed how Phillipe and Giselle came together. I’m an empath, not a strong one but I get a sense of what people are feeling. I knew how strongly they felt about each other from the beginning.” I duck my chin, my gaze darting around the room. I didn’t mean to give her that information. Phillipe is the only one who knows about me.

  “Wow, that’s interesting but I would imagine annoying also. Do you know how I feel?”

  “No, for some reason, I can’t get a read on you other than what I deduce from you reactions to things—or what you tell me.”

  “Well that makes me feel better. And I’m sorry I don’t feel as confident in it. This is all a bit much for me to take in.” She leans forward on her elbows, meeting my gaze directly. “Can I be honest with you?”

  “Please, I would always want there to be honesty between us.” An uneasy feeling comes over me, and I have a feeling things are about to get interesting.

  “I want you to turn me,” she says, and nothing could have prepared me for this request. The way she was talking earlier, I assumed she was against the whole idea of being turned.

  I open my mouth to speak, but words fail me. I cough, clearing my throat. “Pardon, what did you say?”

  “I want you to turn me.” Lucy takes my hands in her small ones and I stare down at them, enjoying the feel of her touching me but unsure how I should feel about her request.

  “This is sudden, and of course I wish to change you into a vampire, but may I ask why you desire this now? Does it have to do with your recent captivity?”

  “I would be lying if I said it didn’t, but it’s more than that.” She looks up at me with innocent gray eyes. I know I’m lost in them and will do anything she wants, but I need to make sure it’s the right thing. “You’ve noticed I’m small. Well, I grew up with a big brother who taught me how to defend myself, but he was always there to catch me if I fell. I finally get out on my own, and Minerva snatches me. I didn’t stand a chance against her, and I want that. From what I understand, as long as she’s around, I’m in danger, and as a human, I’m as good as dead.”

  “You know the change is permanent, and once you’re a vampire, you will never be human again? Also, you don’t grow old or die. Jean Pierre mentioned you had a family. You will need to say good-bye to them, and you can’t change them unless you are compelled to.” I feel as though I’m kicking myself in the arse, but I want her to know everything. I can’t allow her to make this choice lightly.

  “Jean Pierre has mentioned that on several occasions, but I don’t get it. How do you know if you are compelled to change them? And what would happen if you changed someone you weren’t compelled to?” She sits back in her chair, letting go of my hands, and I feel the loss. “Jean Pierre has been rather vague on that. He’s simply said it was too big a risk and too dangerous.”

  “Right now, I have a strong desire to turn you, but I can control it because you aren’t in any danger of imminent death. I would imagine if you were about to die, I wouldn’t be able to stop myself from changing you. You wanting to be changed heightens my desire to comply with your wishes. It’s almost instinctual.” Now, how to explain the dangers of changing someone you’re not compelled to… “Would you say Minerva is not stable?”

  “Oh yes, definitely.” She nods her head eagerly.

  “I heard Gabriel say he didn’t believe Alastair felt any compulsion to sire her, other than he felt sorry for her. It was the reason Bram and Gabriel split away from him. They didn’t believe he should have done it.” We had talked about this in depth, and leaving Alastair was the hardest thing they had ever done. “Also, chances are the person may not survive. It’s not easy to turn. The body goes through a lot during it. I’ve seen several not make it as a result of a vampire simply desiring to change someone. One of my brothers changed his sister, and it was horrific watching her die. It’s not an easy death.”

  “But there are times when it turns out fine, right?” Raising her brows, she gives me an expectant look.

  I furrow my brow, trying to think of an instance when that had happened. I can’t think of a single one, but anything is possible. “I guess there are times, but is it a chance you want to take with a loved one?”

  “No, I wouldn’t want to take that chance with someone I loved. But why can’t I see them?” Dipping her chin, she narrows her gaze at me.

  “You don’t age, and eventually people notice this. Plus, most of the time, you have either disappeared or have been seen almost dead. It is hard to explain how you have suddenly been miraculously healed. I know Nyla’s mother has a brain disorder and doesn’t remember her, but I had family and had to leave them behind so they wouldn’t know what I was. One of my brothers saw me close to death and assumed I had died. It was easier to let them believe it. She must understand why it is imperative we keep our existence a secret.” I hated leaving my family and want her to know the sacrifice she is making.

  “I do get the secretive part.” She bites her lower lip, her expression clearing as she seems to come to a decision. “So when are we going to do it? I’m ready now if you are.”

  “Do you mind waiting a couple of days and talking with everyone about the ins and outs of it? I want you to be positive. Also, what about your family?” Why am I questioning her? This benefits me in every way, but I can’t in good conscience change her until I am absolutely positive.

  “My mother has terminal cancer, and she only has months to live, so I would want to see her and say good-bye if possible. I won’t look that different, so I should be good to do that, right? As far as my brother, we’re close, but he’ll eventually marry and live his own life. I will work that out.” She shrugs her shoulders as if her family means nothing to her, but I know from experience it’s not as easy as she may think.

  “Sounds like you have thought about this a great deal.”

  Tilting her head to the side, she frowns. “I have, ever since I realized what Jean Pierre was and how the others were turned.”

  “Have you discussed this with the other girls and heard their perspectives?” Unable to stop myself, I take her hand and link our fingers. I need to feel a physical connection with her and am relieved when she doesn’t pull away.

  “I’ve talked to Nyla, but she’s prejudiced. She loves being a vampire and only has her mother to worry about.” Lucy rubs her chin, drawing her brows down. “I need to talk with Rebecca. She left behind a brother and sister. I know at times she longs to see them.”

  I know Nyla is Jean Pierre’s mate, but I haven’t met Rebecca. Although, I am glad she may give Lucy the perspective she needs. “Oui, do talk with her. I want you to do the best thing for you. I would never force you into changing. Now, I wish to talk about why you have rese
rvations about us being mates. Is it you don’t desire me?”

  “Man, you cut right to the chase.” She laughs nervously, her gaze darting around the room. “No, I don’t know you well enough for that to be true. You seem nice, and you’re very easy on the eyes. My issues are from my past.”

  “You’ve had past lovers who have hurt you?” Jealousy rises unbidden in me at the thought of her with other men. I know I have no right to be upset, but I can’t seem to stop the emotion.

  Lucy shakes her head and waves her hand, dismissing my question. “No, but my mom did. My brother’s dad really did a number on her. He left her pregnant and alone. Her family kicked her out, and she had to raise my brother by herself. I know he was the love of her life, even when she was with my dad. I caught her looking at Kane’s dad’s picture once, and silent tears were rolling down her cheeks. She never got over him, and it caused problems between her and my dad. I don’t know if I could allow someone to have that kind of impact on me.”

  “I can see how that would affect you, especially as a child growing up and knowing your mother had been hurt so badly.” I hate her mother was hurt but feel only relief I don’t have to deal with ghosts from her past. “How about we be friends and see how things go? No pressure, but I would ask you to keep an open mind and not be completely against us.”

  “I guess I could do that. From what Nyla told me, I won’t be able to resist you. The witches think I’m thinking too much and am too argumentative.” Her cheeks turn a lovely shade of pink, and she lowers her gaze.

  “Ah, well maybe we see how things go. I already know I affect you physically.” The pink in her cheeks darkens at my words and I chuckle, loving how responsive she is.

  “And how do you… Oh never mind, let’s move on.” She stands, walks toward the door, and turns to face me. “I’m going to talk with Rebecca and the others, and I will let you know about turning me, but be ready. My mind is fairly made up, and I really want this. With the danger of Minerva hanging over my head plus any other threats my blood may cause, I know this is the right thing to do.”