by Kassie Cox
“You didn’t have a hard time tonight, burning those people?” At the question my eyes popped open, my body sat up as I looked at the man who’d seen me ruin many people in my lifetime.
“If anything, it was easier than an actual fight would’ve been, less- “
“I don’t mean physically,” Valor got to his feet and pinched his nose. He was acting strange tonight, seeming more worried about me for some reason. “Morally, emotionally- do you not care about what you just did to those people?” The question wasn’t something I had expected, but I was not surprised at his inquiry.
My eyes narrowed at the man who made his way to stand over me. He didn’t believe that I had no conscience; instead, he thought I was just cold hearted. His mother knew the sickness that sat inside of me. She was aware of the things I was willing to do because I didn’t care for the ones it was done to.
“Can we speak of my lacking morals another night, Your Highness. I need to bathe and get to bed.” Valor continued to look at me for a few awkward moments before dropping his head and turning on his heel. A huff left his lips as he made his way to my door, not stopping to say good night as he slammed it behind him.
Pissing off the King wasn’t my greatest accomplishment, but sometimes it became overbearing to listen to him write off who I am. He didn’t believe that I couldn’t be sad, or happy, or even excited. The most I felt was pain and pleasure, never love. Sure, I’d had a fling here and there, but I’d never felt anything more than a physical attraction for another human being. But Valor refused to believe that.
His mother had told him time and time again that I was a heartless being, that I was better off in a cage away from mankind than standing by his side. One day my hands would do to him just as they had done to so many others who’d been unlucky enough to receive my actions against them.
She was wrong, because although I did not love my King, I did feel loyal to him.
My obligation was to keep the man safe, something she’d witnessed me staying true to many times. The woman had watched me do the most heinous things for the sake of her son and yet she still believed me a monster. Perhaps the Queen feared that one day I’d see her as a threat to the man I pledged allegiance to, and that’s why her distaste for me stood out so firmly.
Instead of thinking over the subject any longer, I got to my feet and made my way to the bathroom. A hot shower and a glass of whiskey sounded unbeatable.
Chapter 3
At times it was strange to have the reputation as a killer for our King. The method in which others regarded me was always an interesting interaction, and often enough, it ended with them practically sprinting in the opposite direction. My less-than-impressive frame from a distance should scare no one, but once others got closer and saw the trademark hair and the toned body, it became apparent who I was.
Mirela often told me that my eyes held an unsettling look to them, that the mismatched colors gave off the aura of death. I found her to be a bit hypocritical, as the woman and her family are the ones who made me like this. Sure, they didn’t take away my emotional abilities, but I doubt I would have been murdering people on the streets had I not ended up at the castle.
My mismatched eyes would’ve been a great trait to have, instead of a death omen.
The sound of my boots on the marble floor sent most of the guards scurrying from their rooms, men and women sprinting to their assigned posts for the day’s work. It was of no surprise that a few of the soldiers had been having relations, but I did find it entertaining to watch as they tried to sneak out of one another’s rooms each morning.
They dispersed into the crowd as if the night before had never occurred. The obvious hickies and tired eyes always gave their secrets away.
“Headed to eat breakfast with the King?” Draven walked to my side, his pearly whites sparkling a bit too brightly today.
He was one of the few people in the castle that I often held conversions with, even though he strongly disliked most of the things I did—or made him do. He was a peace seeker, always trying to put me on a better track. Yesterday, for instance, he had been completely against the burning of an entire pack.
But I was in charge and although I understood his views on it, the least fatalities on our end would be through the chosen path.
I hadn’t expected to take that. Today, he seemed to have forgiven my brutal nature as the man smiled merrily down the hallway. I wondered whose room he’d snuck from this morning.
“I’m going to get the courtyard ready for today’s ass beating. After the waterworks from yesterday, I feel the need to beat the weakness out of these people.” I saw Draven give me a startled look, but I continued facing forward. A few more men and women brushed past us before we reached the main door to the kitchen where I was sure Valor and his mother sat sipping coffee.
“Most people haven’t had to burn women and-” With my hand turning the handle, I cut him off.
“We aren’t normal people, Draven. We have a purpose in this Kingdom, and if these soldiers can’t do it, then they don’t need to be a part of my Guard.” I closed the door swiftly behind me before walking up to the table. Valor and Mirela both looked at me with a bit of surprise as I grabbed a few rolls of bread and start shoving bacon in my mouth without sitting down. I’d skipped dinner, and I had a long day ahead of me. I cared very little for the manners they expected me to uphold in this moment.
“I can make a plate for you,” Valor laughed, brown eyes full of amusement. I shook my head quickly, eyes scoping out the rest of my options. His mother seemed appalled by my behavior, as if she hadn’t seen my rushed eating a million times over. She’d always had some strange ideal that because I was a woman, I needed to act as she did, dismissing that I was, in fact, the leader of what was supposed to be a bunch of savage killers. Okay, soldiers. But to keep this Kingdom safe we needed our Guard ready to do whatever they must. Now, they were nowhere near ready to fight the world for the sake of their home.
“You act no better than those beasts!” She scolded, eyes burning a hole into her son who laughed harder at her words. I found myself enjoying this interaction.
“Perhaps next week I’ll begin sprouting fur and barking during drills, Your Highness.” Before another word can be said, I rushed from the room, Valor’s laugh and a loud smack resounding behind me. I’d be with the Guard for a little over an hour, and then I’d have to find Valor and resume my duties at his side, which may include business talk or cutting the hand from a thief. Let’s just say, I didn’t prefer the meetings.
The walk to the courtyard was quiet except for my own steps, as I made very little effort to hide my presence in the castle. The entire castle was of darker theme, which I didn’t mind, but it did give an intimidating vibe to most that walked in. The greyish floors mixed with the darker colored furnishings made for a creep house, and the old maids walking around like the dead certainly didn’t help. My Guards surprisingly brought the most excitement to this place, with their constant roaming and overly happy demeanors. Those demeanors would soon be taken out of them.
I had led the older men that I’d grown up around until about a year ago, when most of them either retired or died. An incident that wasn’t much talked about in the castle had occurred, something that lay entirely on the King’s decisions, and that most of our people hated him for.
We’d had our few disagreements, but when it came down to it, that was the largest one we’d ever had. He refused to pay the ransom for over forty of our men and women, and in the end, their heads were thrown onto our lands. A complete massacre done by a rogue pack could’ve been prevented. We lost a lot of the Guard with that; the ones who’d sworn to protect their King with their lives were lost for some foolish show of power. Since that time, it had been an absolute must that everyone make it back from a mission.
“I’ve decided to join you for the day, Keres, and skip a few of my royal obligations. That sounds lovely, doesn’t it??” Valor landed beside me, his long legs easily
keeping up with my short stride. All I gave him was a nod as we approached the door. He reached out to grab my arm, effectively stopping us. “About last night, I know you don’t like me questioning you. It’s just something that I haven’t come to terms with I suppose. You weren’t like this before mother sent you away.” I stood awkwardly, unsure of what response he wanted from me in this moment.
Did he desire forgiveness or an explanation? I had already explained everything that had happened at the Guild. Truly there had never been any change in me.
I’d always been like this as I’d told him so many times before.
Instead of giving an answer, I pushed past the large wooden door, heavier than most people would think, and continued my way to where the Guard would be meeting soon.
He followed, of course, not realizing that I wanted nothing to do with him now. I craved peace, and, in a few minutes, I’d be screaming my brains out trying to harden the ninnies I’d had forced upon me.
My feet hit the concrete, and I sped up, wanting to reach the grass and start my set up before anymore conversation could start. The large bushes and stone statues surrounded us. My eye was caught by a sphere sitting in the grass.
“Valor, you need to go inside.” I don’t look back at him, not wanting to take my eyes from the head sitting in our grass. He gave out a huff, and I could tell he hadn’t seen the object yet. Finally, I turned towards him, my expression clear as he took a step back. “Go inside, get Draven, and don’t leave those doors until I say you can.” Without a response, he turned on his heel and headed in the opposite direction as I began my survey of the body part.
It wasn’t a clean cut. Even from a yard away, I could see that. Instead, it seemed someone had ripped the head from the man’s body. Curly brown hair matted to his cheeks, dried blood leaked from the mouth, and the stench of decay overwhelmed me. I didn’t see any bugs, so the head hadn’t been here for long, and beforehand, it was well preserved. Someone had been on our land and was able to put this here without anyone seeing them. My Guards would get an ass chewing tonight.
As I stepped closer, I bent down to see if I recognized the man protruding from the ground.
“What is it?” Draven asked, out of breath as he came to a hard stop behind me. I heard a sharp intake of breath before the sound of gagging commenced. I threw a scolding look over my shoulder and stood up fully, looking around the courtyard as if the person who’d put this here would still be hanging around.
“What’s hanging out of his mouth?” Draven coughed, sending my gaze downward. Paper protruded from the man’s dead lips, and I reached down to grabbed it. It didn’t come out easily, so I physically opened his cold lips and grabbed the paper with two fingers. I was sure the man behind me was about to throw up everywhere at the sight of me touching the head.
“It’s a note…” It was a big damp as I opened it, little blood splotches in places but nothing that would inhibit me from reading the words on the paper. “This is the only warning you will receive. We have nineteen of your men. In exchange, we want the little purple-haired fairy. We need retribution. Before tomorrow’s sunset, or we kill them all.”
Draven’s retching drowned out the sound of my curses.
Chapter 4
The King’s face was a classic picture of rage; his fingers clutched the arm rests of his throne as I read through the note for him. His mother made no sound as I gave the news in front of her.
She was probably jumping for joy that I’d be sent into the wilderness to be murdered by savages. Her problem would be fixed.
My eyes traveled over her first, a little shocked when I saw her face scrunched in worry. Surely, she misunderstood my words. Valor practically flung himself to his feet, deep huffs leaving his lips as we watched him pace back and forth. I did my best to wipe the blood on my pants after I dropped the disgusting paper to the ground, my need for hand soap higher than ever.
The throne room was probably my least favorite room in the entire castle. The memories here were never good, and I never got the enjoyment from it like others did. We used this room for three things, mostly: meetings, events, and our monthly collections. The collections required everyone who owed us something to come to the castle, wait in a line, and pay their debts or beg for mercy. Most walked out with a scolding and fewer jewel pieces.
Others would leave without hands; some would never leave at all. Being the person to get her hands dirty on those days was never fun; in fact, it was the most boring time I experienced. It’s also when I received the most insults from those who occupied the outer city.
They believed me to be the devil.
My cruelty seemed as if I was the one sentencing them to their punishments and not the woman who just swung the ax. The Queen disliked it just as much, but Valor enjoyed it and the parties we held on the same floor that some had been murdered upon. He enjoyed messing around with ladies and making me chase him across the castle. The food was always great, I’ll admit. But after a while, it became tiring.
My only saving grace was that I’d come to an agreement with the Queen that I’d never have to wear a damn dress to one of those events again.
“I can’t believe I’m going to lose another twenty men to those beasts.” The King grumbled, and at the words, the Queen and I both jumped toward him. He couldn’t seriously give up the lives of those men for one woman. Sure, I was the leader of his Guard, but anyone could step up for me. A few years of training, and they’d be just as good as I.
“We aren’t losing them, Your Highness, I’m going to exchange myself for them. That makes the most sense.” Valor’s eyes narrowed at me, his heavy steps approaching as I kept my head high and refused to back down from this one. Although the King usually signed off on these decisions, I was the one who decided the best route to take for these things. Usually I’d let him have his way, as our plans often were similar, but this was a needless slaughter. It would hurt this kingdom even more than his past decisions.
“She’s right—they’ll hate you more than ever if you don’t feed into the beast’s demands. Besides, we all have faith that the little fairy will be fine on her own. She’s walked into worse situations has she not?” Mirela had never sided with me, so her words caused me to inhale deeply.
This was surely a suicide mission to her. The woman never expected me to make it out alive. That much was certain.
“We are not giving up my most valuable Guard for the sake of those men!” Valor yelled, a vein in his neck sticking out as he clenched his fists at his sides. The man seemed entirely enraged at this point, as if sending me away would be the death of this Kingdom. No one spoke after his outburst; we only waited for him to calm down. Mirela and I had a silent conversation through glances, making it well known to each other that my plan would be followed with or without his permission.
“You know for a fact that you won’t make it out.” His voice was small now, full of fear and so many other things that I would never understand.
Valor reached out to me, his hand landing on my cheek as he looked at my shocked expression. My body had gone completely still, mouth agape as he looked at me in a way I had never seen before.
Something much deeper than worry filled his gaze. “They’ll probably kill all of you, and you’re still willing to give up the one life that I value above my own—for what? Possibly to get a few useless men back?”
“Those people are a part of my Guard, Your Highness.” I took a long step back and turned on my heel, not wanting to deal with whatever that situation was turning into. The man was acting downright strangely, and I did not enjoy it. “I may not feel love, but I do understand loyalty. Now, I’ll see you at dinner tonight.”
My knife imbedded itself into the middle of the target, satisfaction spreading as I continued to hit my marks. It was fun to do well on the skills I’d practiced my entire life. The closest I’d ever come to happiness was seeing all my hard work pay off whether it be in a simple game or a battle.
Winning was
something I claimed to love. At the thought of the word “love,” my thoughts went south, thinking of the look and the words Valor threw at me in the throne room. My face scrunched as I began throwing my knives harder and faster, grabbing one after another as I hit target after target. Using every bit of strength behind each throw, I forced the thoughts from my head.
To think the King could feel anything beyond a professional relationship with me was nauseating for some reason. Sure, the man was incredibly fine and captured almost any woman’s attention. He was decently tall with a head of brown hair and those hard-brown eyes. He made others laugh, smile, and overall, the man wasn’t a tyrant. Valor had his great attributes, but to me, none of them led to more than him being the man I look up to. He decided to use my hands for his dirty work or throw me into insane situations he felt I could overcome. My breathing labored as I threw the last dagger.
“Do you remember the first night you really used one of those?” Mirela didn’t look at me as she walked over to the wall of weapons. She pulled one of the knives from the wall and twisted it around in her pale, delicate hands. A scowl fell over my face as I answered.
“No one in this castle will ever forget, Your Highness.” I used the term mockingly, very little respect held in the words I spat at her.
The first life I had taken was that of a girl only a year or two older than I had been. It was a memory I didn’t enjoy bringing up often as it had led to a few of the worst times in my life.
The girl had been the future princess of a Kingdom we were not allied with, a pretty little thing with something sinister up her sleeve.
