by Harper West
I flicked my wrist out, letting the flogger's strands snap together, and Bethany flinched, even though they never touched her skin. I did it again, warming my wrist up in the process, and kept my eyes peeled for her reactions.
When I finally let the leather of the flogger snap against her skin, she gave a soft moan of pleasure that should have gone straight to my cock, but it didn't really. I frowned, not sure what the issue was. Usually women like this were the most fun to play with. I didn't prefer them for dating, but I got off on having someone who knew their place in a dungeon environment.
Bethany definitely did. When the flogger caught her between her thighs, she shifted and then worked herself back into position, clearly well trained.
Yet there was something about it that felt... hollow, almost. She was perfect, but maybe she was too perfect. Her reactions followed the script of what I usually wanted, what most Dom’s usually wanted, pretty and soft little gasps and whimpers for more when I hit her.
I found myself missing the fire. Missing the challenge. Half the fun of playing with Ashlyn was making her realize she wanted me to play with her. She was always so stubborn, so convinced she was going to hate whatever I did, that when she moaned for the first time, it was like a little victory.
She didn't give anything freely, every little thing had to be worked for, and even when she was out of her mind with need there were times when she was still fiery, still so full of fight, and maybe that was what I had gotten used to.
It hadn't even been two months yet, and already she was changing things. I didn't know how to feel about that.
Either way, Ash wasn't there. She was doing whatever it was she did when I wasn't around, and I had a beautiful and willing sub in front of me, eager to please.
I told myself to focus on her and put Ash out of my mind for the time being. There would be plenty of time, after all, to play with Ash later.
So I worked my magic on Bethany. I used the flogger until her back and ass and thighs were marked up with soft red marks, and then I switched to the crop, snapping the leather in those soft, sensitive places she wouldn't be able to ignore when I was done.
She was shaking softly, clearly on the verge of falling apart just from being flogged, and the people who had gathered to watch were sharing in the tension.
I was putting on a show, but I didn't feel like I was a part of it, for some reason. I felt detached, removed, and it was frustrating.
I'd come to the club to blow off some steam and center myself, and it wasn't really working.
I was nothing if not a professional when it came to things like this. I made it through. I marked her up and watched as she shuddered her way through an orgasm before I let her down and then turned her back over to her friends.
Then I got in my car and left.
I'd intended to go back home and drown the rest of this weird mood in a glass of scotch, but my mind had other ideas, apparently, and when I noticed I'd taken the exit towards Ash's apartment, I just kept driving.
Chapter 17
Ash
I'd planned to spend the night having take-out and watching bad television, which I'd convinced myself I deserved after a long day of classes and a particularly crappy work shift where I'd been yelled at and spilled on all within a two hour period. Looking back on it, there was probably a reason why working a job that meant dealing with people before they'd had their coffee was a bad idea, but I'd needed the money at the time.
I didn't need the money now, as Killian was so fond of telling me sometimes, so I could quit if I wanted to, but something kept me there. I liked my co-workers for the most part, and our managers were chill when they weren't getting customer complaints. There was a part of me that liked knowing I was bringing in some of my own money, too. I wasn't completely dependent on Killian and his funds. I could build up my savings and treat myself with the money I was earning and it wouldn't feel like I was just using his money for everything.
Somehow that made it better.
Speaking of Killian, I hadn't heard from him in a couple of days. It was rare for him to go more than a day without texting me or showing up at my job to be a nuisance, and while I was enjoying the break from him, I had to wonder if he was okay.
It was rare for him to turn down an opportunity to torment me, after all.
I didn't miss him. That wasn't what it was. He was a pain in the ass, always so smug and sure that he knew what was best. Even having a conversation with him could be annoying, and any time I got to spend away from him was good.
I still had my own life. I had my friends and my classes. I had things I wanted to accomplish, and I wasn't going to put them on hold for a year just to be at his beck and call. So, some distance was good. Maybe we could work out a schedule or something. One week on, one week off. So I could go back to the way things were and he could do whatever it was he did, and nothing had to be too weird. Maybe I'd bring it up again the next time he decided he wanted to be around.
I settled into my couch and polished off a plate of chicken wings, not caring about seeming lady like or neat because I was in the comfort of my own home and no one was around to judge me.
I propped my feet up on the coffee table and sighed happily, ready to watch a couple of hours of bad reality television and maybe take a bath before I went to bed.
When someone knocked on the door a few minutes later, I wasn't even surprised. My time to relax was always cut short.
Probably it was one of my neighbors, or Evan with some new and expensive thing he wanted to throw in my face.
I grumbled and got up from the couch, huffing under my breath about just wanting five fucking minutes where I could chill and not have to worry about anything, but of course that was too much to ask, wasn't it?
My diatribe died in my mouth when I saw Killian standing there. He was the last person I'd been expecting, and I frowned, head tipped to one side.
"What are you doing here?" He was dressed up, too, wearing a nice button down and some black slacks, and I knew that couldn't have been for my benefit.
"Nice to see you, too," he said, and it came out a little sharp. "Thank you so much for inviting me into your home. No, really, I really appreciate it."
I arched an eyebrow and folded my arms. "Yeah, same question, Killian."
In the month that we'd been doing this, he'd never been inside my apartment. We played at his place, and when he came to pick me up, I met him outside in the parking lot. I'd never invited him up before, and that was for good reason.
My apartment was tiny compared to his. He had a sprawling penthouse, with modern furnishings and updated everything, and I had a little third floor one bedroom with appliances that were older than I was, probably. At least it was clean, currently, and there wasn't laundry piled on the kitchen table like there was sometimes when I was feeling frazzled and running behind.
Killian sighed and rubbed a hand through his hair. "I don't know, honestly. I wanted... I needed to get out of my apartment, so I came here."
I didn't know if it was the shock of hearing that he'd come to me when he was in a bad mood or the way he looked like he was exhausted, but something made me sigh and move aside so he could come in.
I quickly gathered up the trash from my dinner and went to throw it away so he couldn't judge me for the chicken bones or whatever, and then sat back down on the couch, watching him look around with interest.
"Are you having a bad day or something?" I asked, drawing his attention back to me.
"You could say that. I had lunch with my mother today."
He said it like that explained everything, and I guess it kind of did considering what I knew about his mother, which was admittedly not very much. Killian never spoke highly of her, though, making it sound like she was a gold digger and a bitch whenever he did bring her up.
Parents in general could be trying. I loved mine, but there were times when just talking to them on the phone was enough to wreck my entire day if it was already not going
well.
I waited to see if he'd elaborate, but of course he didn't. When was he ever helpful?
"What happened?" I prompted.
"Oh, the usual. We spent an hour sniping at each other before and during the meal. I'm lazy for not working, I'll never be like my father, so on and so forth. And then she brought up the marriage thing."
"The marriage thing?"
He nodded. "You know, since I'm thirty I should have a wife by now, and I'm a failure for not having one. Apparently if the fact that I have money isn't enough to attract a woman, there's something horribly wrong with me."
I winced because that was a horrible thing for anyone to say, let alone someone's mother. "She sounds like a ray of sunshine," I offered.
"The very brightest," he said.
"Did you tell her you do have a wife, technically?" I asked.
He sighed again and shook his head. "No, I didn't. Believe me, you don't want her to know about you until this is over. She'll start digging through your history, trying to find some scandal, and I don't want that to happen to you."
"Oh," I said. "Thanks." It was unexpectedly nice of him to endure her bitching so I wouldn't have to.
Killian just shrugged. "I wouldn't wish her on my worst enemy, but she's my mother, so I have to deal with her. You don't. Anyway, she was terrible, and then I went to the club to try and blow off some steam."
That explained why he was so dressed up. For some reason, something twisted in my gut hearing he'd gone to the club without me. It was stupid. He'd been there hundreds of times before he even knew I existed, so there was no reason for me to feel any kind of way about him being there while I wasn't.
"Did you just watch other people, or?" I asked, keeping my tone casual.
"I flogged a very pretty woman until she cried and came all over herself," he said, and I scowled.
"Well, good for you."
He arched an eyebrow, giving me a confused look. "You have an issue with that?"
"No. You can do whatever you want, obviously." It was even in the contract that we could see other people. Neither of us had to be exclusive, and this was a marriage of convenience, nothing else. Just because he played with me didn't mean he wasn't playing with anyone else, and I was stupid for not expecting it.
"You seem upset," he said.
"I'm not," I replied quickly.
A slow smile spread over his face, and he came to sit next to me on the couch. It was a tremendous effort not to slide away from him. "Are you jealous?" he asked, sounding delighted.
"No," I insisted. "Why would I care? You're a grown man and you can do whatever you want. You can play with whoever you want and it doesn't matter to me."
I said it with so much conviction that it was hard to tell who I was trying to convince, him or myself, but I meant it. He was my husband, but we weren't together like that. Maybe I'd go out and find myself someone to be with when he wasn't around. Someone who was normal and didn't like depraved things. There was no reason why I shouldn't.
"Well," Killian said, and he was still grinning. "I'm glad we're on the same page. Since I can play with whoever I want, I've decided I want to play with you now."
I rolled my eyes, making a face. "Of course you did. I should have known that was the real reason you came over here. You're obsessed with sex."
"I'm not obsessed. I enjoy sex, and I enjoy making you come. If you'd rather not, I can just leave."
I wanted to tell him to go. To get out because I wasn't some object for him to use whenever he wanted to. I wasn't there to be his on-call sex pet or whatever, and he could go to hell if he had a problem with that.
What I actually said wasn't even close to that. I folded my arms and heaved a sigh and told him "Fine, whatever."
Again, I was left asking myself what he was doing to me.
Killian smiled and stood up, reaching out to grab my hand and tugging me until I got up, too. "Good. Show me your bedroom."
It wasn't anything special. Just a bed and a few pieces of furniture. The bed was half made, and my closet was open, but Killian kept his eyes on me the whole time. He walked into the room and dragged me to the middle of it, eyes raking over my body.
I could see it the minute that dominant mindset settled over him, and he smirked, cocky and sure of himself. "Strip for me," he said, and I swallowed hard.
I hated the way he sounded, and yet I found myself doing what he wanted, hands going to the waistband of my pajama pants and pushing them down so I could step out of them.
I played with the hem of my shirt before making a face and pulling it over my head. I had taken off my bra when I came home, so it left me there topless, my breasts on display.
He hadn't ever seen me naked before. That was the thought I kept coming back to. He'd tied me down and spanked and fucked my throat while I was handcuffed and wearing a collar, but he hadn't seen me naked.
I guess the same was true the other way around, too. We hadn't gotten that far, yet.
It was weird that this felt like a milestone, like crossing some invisible line, but I didn't want to make it into a whole thing, so I resisted the urge to cross my arms over my chest, and went to push my panties down, kicking them across the room when they were off.
Then I was naked in front of him, watching as he sized me up. He walked in a slow circle around me, taking it all in like he was trying to decide about a purchase, and I knew he was just trying to wind me up and get me to lash out.
I bit my tongue, refusing to play his game, even if I was flushed from the head down.
"You know, there are times when I really feel how lucky I was that you agreed to this arrangement," he said, which was definitely not what I'd been expecting. He kept catching me off guard, and it made it hard to know how to feel about the stuff he said.
"Just because you get to have sex with me?" I asked.
"That's a perk for sure," he agreed, pinching my ass and earning himself a harsh glare when he came back around to my front. "But you're beautiful and clever, too. You're not just draining my bank account dry because you can, and you haven't asked me for anything since I paid your rent. You're in this for the money, but not in a predatory way."
Oh. Well, he wasn't wrong about that. I needed his money, but I wasn't trying to drain him for everything he had. That was unnecessary.
"That's not the kind of person I am," I said, and he nodded.
"I know. And I like that about you. I also like that you're hot without any clothes on."
I blushed and once again had to fight the urge to cover myself. Leave it to him to go and make things awkward.
"Why am I the only one naked?" I demanded.
"Oh, do you want me to strip?" he asked. "Do you want to see me?"
I'd walked right into that one, but there was no going back now. "Yes," I said. "I do."
He grinned and took a step back, clearly about to put on a show for me.
It wasn't fair. He was definitely attractive. I'd have to be dumb and blind to deny that. He looked like he worked out even with his clothes on, and when he started unbuttoning his shirt, it was clear that he definitely did. His abs were well defined, and his arms were muscular too, the biceps bulging a bit when he moved.
A trail of fine hair led into his pants, and he undid the fly before pushing them down along with his underwear, toeing out of his shoes and stepping out of everything.
He had those cut lines down his hips, pointing in a V to his groin where his cock was soft, but still sizeable, nestled in his pubic hair. I'd had that cock in my mouth already, but seeing it made me want to get on my knees all over again.
It just wasn't fair. If he wasn't so good looking, it would be so much easier to resist him.
Once we were both naked there was no more talking and teasing. Heat flared in Killian's eyes and he reached out and grabbed my arm, yanking me into his.
He held me close and then leaned down, kissing me hard on the mouth.
My eyes flew open wide, and there was a mome
nt when I wanted to protest that there was no need for us to start kissing, but it was a fleeting moment, and before I knew it, I was leaning up and into the kiss, kissing him right back.
He pressed each firm, demanding kiss to my mouth, and when I gasped softly, his tongue worked its way in, teasing with mine, tangling and devouring me whole.
I was weak for it, weak for him, clinging to him because I didn't know what else to do.
For the first time since the very first time, there were no toys, no collars or restraints. It was just the two of us. Just his hands on me and his mouth on mine, and I was going gooey for it, melting against him, making soft little noises while he practically made love to my mouth.
When he finally let me breathe, I was panting, and when I licked my lips, I tasted him there. His hands were like searing brands against my back and my ass, but I didn't want him to let go.
My heart was pounding, and my blood sang with need, throbbing all the way down to my pussy where I was getting wet and needy for him.
"I'm going to fuck you," he said, leaning down so he could lick the shell of my ear and whisper the words right there. "I'm going to fuck you right here in your bed, and you're going to beg me for more."
I wanted to tell him that he talked a big game, but we'd see about that. Instead, I was nodding.
My pussy clenched, eager to have something inside it, and I wanted his cock. I'd had it in my mouth but never anywhere else, and I wanted to know what it felt like.
He shoved me back until the backs of my knees hit the bed and I went down easily with him following, looming above me. He kissed my lips again, and then lower to my neck and shoulders.
One hand braced him above me, and the other went to pinch and tease at my nipples, making me arch for him, already worked up and turned on.
He was clearly content to spend some time on my chest because he kept kissing down lower, leaving open-mouthed kisses along my collar bones and mouthing at the hollow of my throat.
Then that hot, wet mouth found my other nipple, and I moaned his name, reaching up to tangle my fingers in his hair.
