by Alex Lidell
“What the bloody hell do you think you are doing out here, Osprey?”
Blazing heat rushes along my spine. “Saving your life, you bastard. Since plainly, you can’t be bothered with such minutia.”
“What I do is none—”
I slap Coal’s cheek as hard as I can. My nostrils flare, the fury and fear that have simmered too long erupting from my heart. “You think your damn life belongs to you alone? That no other soul would be shredded if you died?”
Coal flinches, rocking back from the strike. “Dying is a natural byproduct of battle. If you—”
I slap him again. “You weren’t battling, you bastard. Battling is when you care whether you bloody win or lose.” I go to strike Coal a third time, but the male catches my hand in an iron grip.
Blue eyes flashing, he straightens to his full height before me, his metallic scent filling my lungs. The lines of his beautiful face are etched with a soul-deep ache, his mouth but a step away. Stars, I can taste Coal from memory alone. My fingers long to run over his strong cheekbones and jaw, the hint of stubble there, to feel his warm skin beneath my touch.
The magic inside me rouses again, sensing its twin in Coal, making every sensation sharp enough to slice through flesh.
The terror of nearly losing him grips my throat again. I twist free of Coal’s grip and spit on the ground. “Go ahead. Lie. Tell me I’m wrong, say there is no connection between us, that I’ve no way of knowing what you were doing.” My teeth grind together, my eyes stinging. “Tell me to shut my mouth. Say I’m imagining things and you’ve no idea where I might have gotten my silly notions. Say that I’m just a cadet you rutted with once and that’s all there was to it.”
Coal swallows, his blue eyes turning so vulnerable for a moment that my anger hiccups.
“That is not all there was to it,” he says, his voice quiet but clear. Covering the distance between us in one powerful step, the male grips the back of my head and presses his mouth over mine.
Heat flares through me as Coal’s tongue brushes between my lips, parting them roughly. His metallic scent flares with a tang of desperation and need that stokes the blaze inside my soul, my magic, my sex.
Wrapping the strong fingers of his good hand in my hair, Coal pushes farther into my mouth. The deep leisurely strokes of his tongue make one turn before morphing to primal possessiveness. My scalp tingles where he grips my hair, the tiny twitches of pain waking my nerves to the full bouquet of his presence. When I try to move, to check whether his fractured arm might be caught in the press of our bodies, Coal only holds me tighter. Deepens his rough, claiming kiss. Gives himself over to it.
A wave of desperate relief rushes through me as I finally trust that Coal is not letting go. Not pretending he kisses me with anything less than the full force of his soul. I open myself to him, allowing him in more deeply.
Coal groans at my invitation, his tongue roaming my mouth, staking a claim while his hardness presses into me. He makes no move to conceal that either, pressing his hips into mine, holding me against him until my body yields to the strength and comfort of his.
When we finally separate, our rough breathing the only sound in the still forest, Coal stares at me, dazed. He puts the palm of his good hand on my cheek, the calluses scraping my skin.
“I felt you in my cell,” he says, never taking his gaze off my widening eyes. “That is how I knew you were still being held. I saw…images from your past. A stable. And I feared you might be seeing mine as well. Knowing my terrors might be hurting you was worse than feeling them myself. I tried to keep them controlled, but I couldn’t make them stop.” Coal touches the red marks on my wrist where I fought the shackle, the streaks a silent, undeniable proof of the truth.
I bite my lip, his words still ringing in my ears, stripping me naked.
Coal’s jaw tightens, but he nods. “It’s plainly a bit late to pretend otherwise. Or to pretend that staying away from you for a month didn’t drive me insane, until the last shards of my control shattered.” Shaking his head, he runs a finger down my cheek, across my lower lip.
I inhale, letting the words soak through me, a tight band around my chest releasing. He wanted me. This whole month that I thought Coal a stranger, he wanted me all along. I let my hands roam over his broad chest, the feel of the hard muscle beneath my palms slicking my thighs. Clearing my throat, I press my legs together tightly. Not to conceal my desire from Coal, but because we are too vulnerable out here already, without adding mating into the mix.
Except Coal is too damn Coal-like not to notice. His nostrils flare as he takes in my scent, and he presses closer to me, burying his face in my neck. Inhaling deeply.
It takes all my will to pull away from him. “We’re not safe here.” These forests are Night Guard hunting grounds now. And Han’s. “What do you make of Han?”
Coal frowns. “Something about his movements… It makes me think he isn’t human.”
“I think he’s as human as you and I,” I mutter, the amulet around my neck turning scalding hot in warning to go no further in discussing our identities. Though Coal doesn’t know it, he actually has a good point. If Han was like us—a veil-wearing fae—his amulet’s magic would bend over backwards to convince Coal and me that his actions were normal and any oddness only imagined. Plus, when Autumn handed over the amulets, she said the set was unique—how would Han, whatever he is, have gotten hold of the rare relic to begin with? Marking the thoughts to discuss with Arisha later, I nod at Coal’s arm. “How is it?”
“Broken in several places,” he says flatly. Finding the open collar of his black shirt, the male tugs at the laces until I reach up to help, quickly realizing that taking it off the normal way would do more harm than good.
The well-worn fabric splits obediently when I rip it, the sound echoing eerily through the trees. My breath catches as I slide Coal’s shirt off his chest, the squares of his abdomen plain even in moonlight. The male tenses in pain but lets me work as I guide his injured arm across his body, binding it in place until Shade can set the bone later. I try not to think about that procedure, but the realization of other things likely to still happen tonight triggers a whole new wave of anxiety.
Coal’s nostrils flare delicately, his eyes sharpening. “What’s wrong?”
I clear my throat, my face heating. After the violence we just escaped, the new problem seems miniscule. Except it isn’t. Not to me. “What are you planning to tell River? I don’t mean about us, but about what happened out here. With Han.”
“I planned on the truth.” He cocks his head, studying my face with an intensity that makes me want to shuffle my feet. “Han and I fought .You stopped it. Is that a problem?”
“I’m not supposed to be outside the Academy walls.”
“This isn’t your first time out here, Osprey. Or second. Or tenth, I think.” With a snort, Coal pulls up my loose sleeve to expose the tail of the still-healing knife wound. “Also, I’m quite certain River either already knows we are out here or will discover it from Han shortly.” Releasing my arm, he tucks a strand of hair behind my ear, his voice softening. “Keeping things from River is a piss-poor move.”
“You’re one to talk.”
“Yes. From experience.”
“It isn’t the same,” I snap, despite having meant to keep silent. Now that I’m talking, the words spill out beneath his attentive gaze. “You are his equal, and I’m nothing but a lowly cadet. River cares nothing for my reasons, my abilities, my knowledge. There is magic threatening the Academy—the whole continent—and I’m not going to hide under the bed while others do the fighting. But there’s nothing I can say to him to make him take me seriously. He locked me up for a night because I disobeyed his orders to try to stop a fight.”
“He did not.” Coal’s hand, already on my face, grips the base of my chin. “Leralynn. River did not order you held. He had no idea you were still in the dungeon. I’ve a bone to pick with him over that, but he never meant to hurt you. He�
�s a good man.” Coal’s jaw—and grip on mine—tightens. “But yes, River does discipline cadets. And after last night, what I saw in your past… I’ve a notion of why that’s a problem.”
“He didn’t know I was—” I stop, suddenly processing what Coal mentioned earlier and then again now. He saw my nightmares too. Saw Zake’s beatings—my terror, my screaming. My shrinking away. The implications thud through me. It’s a part of my life I wanted to keep locked away forever. And now I’ve never felt so exposed. My breath quickens, and I try to pull away.
Coal doesn’t let me go. Doesn’t laugh at me either. “Yes. We’ll have to figure something out on that front. Meanwhile…” He frowns thoughtfully. “I see your point about wishing to keep River in ignorance of your secret world-saving schemes lest you have to fight him as well as magic. And since you plainly have something going on and will continue this something no matter what, I will make you an offer: anything you tell me in confidence stays between us. Anything you don’t tell me and I discover on my own is fair game to share with River.”
“That’s…” I glare at Coal. “That’s blackmail to ensure I tell you everything I’m doing.”
A corner of his mouth twitches and despite pain-filled eyes, I see the first genuine smile the male has attempted in a long, long time. “I think I like the thought of knowing everything you’re doing, Osprey.” Leaning forward, he brushes his lips over mine. “Most likely, I like it too much.”
My heart stutters, the sensations rushing from my lips all the way through my skin. Before I can savor him too deeply, however, Coal pulls away, his face serious again.
“But as for tonight, we have to go to River. He almost certainly knows already. And it is better if we both see him now than if he must seek us out later. Plus there is another matter I need to see him on.” Coal runs his hand along my neck and shoulders and spine, finally settling his warm palm in the small of my back. “Come, Osprey. Let’s get this over with.”
15
Lera
“Coal. Leralynn.” River rises from behind his desk. The light in his study window gave away his location despite the late hour. “I’ve been expecting the two of you.”
I try to step back on instinct, but the feel of Coal’s insistent hand on the small of my back keeps me moving forward. My pulse races. This isn’t going to go well. There is no chance in all the bloody stars that it will. For either of us.
Striding up, River reaches over my shoulder to shut the door, his woodsy scent washing over me. “I understand you assaulted Han just outside the Academy,” he says to Coal. With the ice in his voice, the crackling fire in the study’s hearth gives no warmth to the room. “Is that accurate?”
“Yes,” says Coal.
River’s chin points to Coal’s bound arm. “And you lost?”
“Yes,” Coal repeats.
A muscle tics in River’s jaw, though his chiseled face gives away nothing more of his thoughts.
When his stony gray gaze shifts to me, the flutter of anxiety spilling into my blood makes me dizzy. No matter how hard I try to see past the stern commander to the male who danced and studied with me, all I see is the male who left welts on Tye’s back, who ordered me to a dungeon for disobedience, who sent Coal there despite knowing the male’s past.
I see a male who would never accept a cadet as a peer.
“And what of you, Leralynn?” River asks. “How did you end up in the middle of that mess?”
“I…I saw Coal and Han fighting. From the top of the wall.” I swallow, hating the slight hitch in my voice. No chance of River failing to notice—the male never misses so much as a blink, though he is too well controlled to show it. “Someone needed to stop it, and I was available.”
River puts his hands behind his back, his shoulders spread wide as wings under his black silk shirt. The hard lines of his jaw and penetrating gaze make the air sing with tension. “And?” he asks.
“And?” I echo.
River’s gaze slides over my shoulder, no doubt to brush Coal’s face before returning. “You saw Coal fighting. For the second time in as many days. You had already been punished for joining in once. Why did you choose to do so again?”
My brows narrow, indignation kindling a slow flame inside me. “What do you mean why? Because it was the right thing to do, River.” I feel Coal shift behind me in warning, but I can’t make myself heed it. Of all the things that turn my knees soft beneath River’s powerful stare, this one I will fight for. “Because that is what you do when you see a friend in trouble.”
“I did not realize you considered Coal, your instructor, a friend,” said River.
I hadn’t either. Not this Coal. And maybe he isn’t, but he is a part of my soul nonetheless. Raising my chin, I square off before River’s might, my pulse racing. I know that keeping my mouth shut and head bent is the safer course, but I can’t, so I won’t. For all our sakes.
“You think broken rules were the greatest problem here in the past two days?” My voice rises, and I take a step toward the male. “That locking Coal up would cure anything? I ran to interfere in a fight because I saw mortal danger that you were either too blind to mark or too proper to bother with.”
Silence settles over the room, punctuated by my too-fast breathing. I stepped over the line. Stars, I took a running leap over the line and peed on it in midflight. And I’ve no notion of what I’m going to do now.
River’s unreadable eyes weigh me. “That is not how I would have phrased things,” he says finally. “But you are not wrong.” Walking toward Coal, he plants himself in front of the warrior, hands behind his back. “Per our earlier conversation, I’ve given it some thought, and I reject your proposal. Any objection?”
“No, sir,” Coal says, offering no more explanation than that.
“Good.”
All right, then. I shift my weight, my thoughts firmly on the door. Somehow, incredibly, it seems there’s a chance that a dismissal rides in the wind. I’ll worry about the why of it later. For now, I’m not going to look a gift horse in the mouth.
“We aren’t done.” River tells me, as if having read my intention to flee. “Come up to my desk, please, Leralynn.”
I take one step before noticing the thin rattan rod River pulls from behind the heavy oak table. Not the leather belt as Zake favored, but similar enough in the ways that matter. At once, my whole body stiffens, my lungs too tight to draw breath. Curling my hands into fists, I let my nails pinch into my skin, focusing on the small sting to keep myself together.
“River,” Coal says. His voice is hard and distant.
“I’m aware,” River replies. Returning to my side of the desk, he removes the golden cuff link holding his silk shirt’s cuffs together and rolls up the material to just above his right elbow. “I won’t strike you, Leralynn,” he says, his attention focused on his work.
A momentary wave of relief touches and flees. “Coal isn’t—”
“Not Coal either.” Sleeve secured, River finally shifts the whole weight of his attention to me. “I never intended for you to have been left overlooked in a dungeon cell, much less restrained to a wall. It was my duty to know what was happening to you, and you had every right in the world to expect as much from me. It was my breach of responsibility that led to a great many wrongs done today. Mine, and no one else’s.”
My eyes widen as River hands me the rattan rod, bracing his hip against his desk as he holds his bared forearm between us, the point of the elbow tucked against his ribs for stabilization. Perfectly corded muscle that a sculptor would envy tightens beneath taut skin, the sensitive flesh between the wrist and bend of the elbow dancing with shadows.
“Wait. What?” The hair on the back of my neck rises like hackles, a shiver shooting along my spine. “I don’t understand.”
“Yes, you do,” River says, his heavy gaze lending his soul to the words. “There is nothing—nothing—more important for me than keeping you…” He falters. “Than keeping all my students safe. A d
uty at which I’ve failed spectacularly over the past two days. You’ve already paid for your transgression. I have not. One dozen, please, if you don’t mind.”
“Oh, bloody damned stars, you want to bet how much I damn well mind?” I sputter, jerking away from the rattan rod. I only realize that I’ve jumped across the floor when my shoulder catches River’s bookshelf, stacks of journals, references, and ink bottles falling in a spectacular whoosh.
River blinks almost appreciatively at the mess but stays put otherwise.
Crossing my arms, I glare at Coal—who merely shrugs—and turn back to River. “Your strategy of adding more pain to that already collectively endured is… What’s the word I’m looking for…? Ah, stupid.”
With a short sigh, River braces his palms on his thighs before speaking again, his voice measured. “It isn’t my strategy, Leralynn. It is the reality of where we are. Do you imagine I enjoy disciplining you? Watching you be terrified or exhausted or hurting? Wondering what the hell I’m going to have to do to you next when you defy the rules and teachers?” River’s tone softens. “I need you to know that I understand the scope of my failure before you. That I am sorry. I need you to trust my word—” His voice catches, and he cuts himself off, trying to corral some emotion in his gaze. It seems he needs my trust on a level he can’t fully understand himself, much less explain.
“Apology accepted,” I say quickly. “I understand everything. I trust you. Can I go, please?”
River sighs, a muscle tensing in his jaw. “If you want other projects to continue between us, then you will do this now.”
Other projects. The tutoring. The time with River I’ve grown to savor. Acid rises up my throat as River hands me the rattan again. I run my fingers along his bare sensitive belly of forearm, the skin lacking the thickness of the muscled side or calluses of his palms. River shivers lightly before he can suppress it, his eyes flickering.
“Leralynn,” he prompts.
