by Jerry Boyd
“Knife to the heart will do that for you. Nice work, by the way. He never saw you coming.”
“That’s kind of you to say. I thought Captains were opposed to mutiny, on principle.”
“Only when it’s directed at me.”
“It sounds like there is a story behind that remark, Commodore.”
“I’m afraid it’s a tale for another time. Do you have an estimate of how long it will take your engineers to get you back in the black?”
“They say about one of your hours, Commodore. Is that acceptable?”
“Yes, it is. Appears I have a few more prisoners for you to haul. Will that be a problem?”
“Less of a problem than showing up without them, I’m guessing.”
“Unless you need anything else right now, I’ll talk to you later.”
“Later, Commodore.” Saucy cut the connection. I asked Sue, “Have you sent your methods to all the sensor operators in the fleet?”
“Yes, Boss, I have.” Saucy said, “Boss, Rhonda is requesting access to the bridge.”
“Let her in.” She came bounding in. “Boss, I got my pilot training. I just wanted to thank you for helping me get my head out of my hind end.”
“No problem. Bob Wilson, rescues and head-popping, at your service.”
“Can I train on the fighters?”
“You don’t learn, do you? If you’re here, asking me, that means that Scotti already gave you a good reason why you couldn’t. You need to train on how to influence people. You really need to work on that. While you’re here, get your Mom on the comm for me, please.”
It took a bit for her to answer. “Rhonda, honey, what’s wrong?”
“Sorry, Gail. It’s me, Bob. I’m using Rhonda’s comm because we’re having some issues with comm security.”
“Hi, Bob. Is she keeping out of trouble?”
“Nothing we can’t handle. She wants to get one of her friends certified ‘Acceptable Contact’ so that she can tell her about all her adventures with us. Do you know the girl she’s talking about?”
“Sure. She was the only one who stuck by her when she was sick. What do you need me to do?”
“Go out to John’s, and get Max to give you Steve’s cold reading course, so that you can see if this girl is a good candidate for acceptable contact.”
“I’ll go out tonight. Does he know to expect me?”
“I’d call ahead. Things are a little hectic here, and I might forget to call and tell him to expect you.”
“I’ll take care of that. Talk to you later, Bob.”
“Later, Gail.” I handed Rhonda her comm. She said, “Thanks, Boss. See you later.”
“Later, then.” She left. I asked Saucy, “Connect me to Regimax Slongum, please.”
“Hello, Mr. Wilson, what can I do for you? The last shipment of hogs not up to snuff?”
“Oops, I’m breaking in a new COB. He got me the wrong Regimax. How are things in Oklahoma?”
“Going well, now that we have a steady customer to sell to. How are things where you are?”
“Interesting, right at the moment, but we should have that cleared up shortly.”
“Even no better than I know you, Mr. Wilson, that scares me a little. If it’s bad enough for you to call it interesting, I think I’m glad to be where I am.”
“Oh, come on now. Where’s that kid that went adventuring in his Dad’s saucer, just to see what the galaxy was like?”
“Older and wiser, I’m afraid.”
“It’s good talking to you, but I better get back to what I was doing.”
“Bye, Mr. Wilson.”
“Bye, Reggie.” I looked at Saucy. I didn’t know a bot could look sheepish. He said, “Oops! I’ll get it right this time, Boss.”
Max’s voice asked, “Yes, Bob, what can I do for you?”
“Quite a lot, if past performance is any guide. I just called to let you know that Gail White will be getting ahold of you to get trained on Steve’s cold reading course.”
“No problem. Why, if I may ask?”
“Rhonda wants to get one of her friends certified acceptable contact, so that she can talk to her about her adventures out here. I thought it would be better, if Gail talked to her first, to see if she was likely to pass.”
“That sounds reasonable, and well thought out. Who are you, and what have you done with my son-in-law?”
“It’s still me, Max. How are things back there?”
“Supply operations for Charlie’s are going well. We’re having to keep the recruitment out of Shady to one a month or so, to keep from raising suspicion, but we’re gradually cleaning the place out.”
“We could use more people out this way, if you can figure a way to do it safely.”
“I’ll look into it, but too many people disappearing all at once isn’t going to be easy to keep quiet.”
“I’m sure you’ll do fine. The need isn’t critical or anything, I just wanted to get you thinking about it.”
“Good enough. Did you need anything else, Bob?”
“Can’t think of anything. Good talking to you, Max.”
“You too, Bob.” Saucy cut the connection, and said, “Sorry, Boss. I’ll make sure that doesn’t happen again.”
“No harm done, Saucy.” We watched the Squirrel fleet as they did their repairs. None of them decided to try and attack. Finally, Snappi Dressi called back. “Commodore, we are ready to depart, if you would be so kind as to send the prisoners over.” Topper said, “Scotti says the operation is underway, Boss.”
Saucy put it up on half the screen. I said, “Your deliveries are on their way, Captain. Do me a favor, and don’t wake any of the prisoners until you are back in Squirrel space. I don’t want to have to damage your ships again.”
“Understood, Commodore.” Someone, I presume Scotti, had decided to reduce the risk of delivering the ships their promised walnuts. The nuts had been put in rescue balls, and were thrown across to the ships, without docking. Captain Dressi said, “Nicely done, Commodore. I hope to see you again under better circumstances.”
“Fly safe, Captain.” The signal died, and the Squirrel ships turned and exited the system, in a precise fleet maneuver. Topper asked, “Are we going to learn how to fly pretty like that, Boss?”
“No, Topper. We are going to learn to fight dirty, and kick ass.” A cheer went up around the bridge. Topper said, “Thanks, Boss. Those maneuvers are a pain.”
Saucy said, “Scotti for you, Boss.”
“Yes, Scotti. What can I do for my favorite engineer today?”
“Just calling to let you know, Boss, that Tikki is in charge down here till I get back from putting the fleet in fighting shape. I’m heading over to the Armstrong now, unless you need something before I leave.”
“Did Tikki get you in touch with Shorty and Ozzie?”
“She did. Shorty’s ideas fit in with what we’ve been working on, and I think make the whole system better. Ozzie hasn’t gotten far enough yet for me to tell where his ideas will wind up, but it looks interesting. We left the whole problem of what to do with Frank for you to figure out.”
“That all sounds reasonable. I’ll see you when you get back.”
“Fly safe, Boss.”
“You too, Scotti.” Saucy’s external view was still on the screen, so we saw Scotti flying across to the Armstrong. Once she was aboard, the fleet wheeled, and jumped out. I said, “The system feels lonesome, all of a sudden.”
Topper replied, “It does, doesn’t it?” We sat there a few minutes, while I wondered what Murphy had in store for us next. Suddenly, Saucy said, “Incoming call, Boss. Commodore Mason.”
“Hi, Steve. What can I do for you?”
“I’m not sure, Boss. I’ve met some Marines who have been out here alone for a long time, and they don’t think I have any authority to salvage them, and they would really prefer if I didn’t leave these colonists on their planet.”
“Marines, you say? A whole unit, dumped on an o
ut-of-the-way planet? Give me a couple of minutes, I might know someone who can help.” I turned to Saucy. “Intercom, please.”
“You’re on, Boss.”
“Ace, get your tin butt to the bridge, ASS-APE!!” I gave Saucy the cut motion, and he took me off speaker.
Topper said, “Boss, I’m not sure that was proper comm protocol.”
“I’m sure, and it wasn’t. Let’s see if it works.” The door flew open, and Ace spilled through it. “Yes, Boss?”
“I think Commodore Mason may have found your friends. You wanna get on the comm, and convince them he is on the up-and-up?”
“With pleasure, Boss. Thanks.” Steve put him on with the leader of the Marines, and soon they were talking about old times. The Marine on the other end tried to trip Ace up a few times, but he came back with, “Now, the way I remember it was...” Soon the Marine was convinced Ace really was who he said he was. Ace said, “He wants to talk to you, Boss.”
I said, “This is Bob Wilson. What can I do for you?”
“Quite a bit, if I can believe my old buddy. Would you have work for a bunch of tired, old, marooned Marines?”
“Come on back with Commodore Mason, and we’ll find you something to do. I’m guessing you want to stay together as a unit?”
“We sure would prefer that, Sir. We’ve been here together 50,000 years. I don’t think it would be easy for us to get used to other bots, at this point.”
“I’ve only got one problem. This is a civilian outfit. I’m not a Sir, I work for a living. Call me Boss, or keep your mouth shut.”
“YES, BOSS!!”
“That’s better. Help the Commodore get those folks squared away, and I’ll see you soon.”
“Understood, Boss.” Steve came back on the line. “Dang, Bob, that was amazing! How did you do that?”
“Ace had mentioned a unit he used to work with, and how they turned up missing when the Navy got mothballed. I just thought that sounded like your guys. Sure enough, I got lucky.”
“They’ve got a transport, but they’ve cannibalized a lot of it, to keep themselves running. What would you like done with it?”
“Do you have enough equipment to bring it back?”
“Yes, but like I said, it’s in rough shape.”
“Do you want to leave it for your passengers? We don’t know yet if this many years of being exposed to that planet has any lasting effects. Do you want to unleash them on the galaxy, if they don’t learn to behave?”
“I see your point. It’s not so much about the ship, it’s about what these loonies could do, if they were to get it flying.”
“That, and if it’s the ship I think it is, we have a pilot with a sentimental attachment to it.”
“You’d build this hunk of junk back up to flyable, just to keep Ace happy?”
“You’ve seen him fly, wouldn’t you?”
“I wanna be you when I grow up, Boss.”
“You better get with the program on that, Commodore. I think somebody expects a ring with her retirement papers.”
“Understood, Boss. I think that’s all I need. Thanks for the assist.”
“No problem. See you when you get back.”
“See you then.” I turned to Topper. “I just realized something. I’m only commanding one ship. Till Steve makes it back, I’m a Captain.”
Topper replied, “You’re still our Boss, either way.” Saucy said, “Ship incoming. Squirrel drive, friendly transponder. It’s Captain Dressi, the elder.”
“Raise him for me, if you would.”
“Captain Wilson, good to see you again.”
“And you, Captain Dressi. I met your nephew. He seems like a nice fellow.”
“Snappi was here? How bad was it?”
“Not, for us. Snappi may be in some trouble when he gets back.”
“What did he do?”
“He had to knife his Captain to keep him from doing something stupid.”
“I knew the fellow you’re talking about. Couldn’t have happened to a nicer guy, I believe they say on your planet.”
“So, you don’t think Snappi will be in much trouble?”
“Oh, they’ll run him out of the service, but he’s been talking about coming back to work for me for years now. I just need to sell enough of your walnuts to afford a second ship.”
“I sent him back with a hundred pounds a ship, as a good-will offering. I hope that doesn’t wind up cutting into your business.”
“The working girls in port will eat well, I doubt it will go much farther than that.”
“Come on aboard, let’s do some business.”
“Monkey business?”
“That’s the best kind, isn’t it?”
I met him in the landing bay. We shook hands and he asked, “You’re not going to make me negotiate with those two scary little ladies again, are you?”
“No, you’re safe, they’re away on other business.” I saw Tikki peeking around the corner, and said, “Come on in, they’ll be through setting up in a minute, anyway.” She walked in, trying to pretend she hadn’t been hiding. She might could have pulled it off, if it weren’t for Janet and Milly giggling along behind her. Shorty showed up about then. He asked, “Did you want me to look at the goods again, Boss?”
“If you would, please.” As soon as the boys were done setting out what Captain Dressi had brought to trade, Shorty started in looking it over. Tikki started in on the boys. Janet and Milly must have thought it was the funniest thing they ever saw, because all they could do was giggle. Captain Dressi said, “You better watch those two, if you have any human boys around. I think they are, what is it you people say, ‘boy crazy’.”
“Looks that way, doesn’t it? You know an awful lot about our culture. Were you undercover there, once upon a time?”
“I certainly could have been, but I think it was my evil twin.”
Shorty spoke up. “Boss, this stuff is all good. He came to do business, this time.”
I asked, “How much?”
“Well, you have been lowering the value of the nuts, by spreading them around, and this is better quality merchandise, how about four pallets?”
“I gave you two pallets, last time, and you hauled a load of prisoners home for me. This stuff is better, but not that much better. A pallet and a half, I think.”
“You are giving away walnuts for door prizes. I won’t make as much on this load. Three pallets.”
“Two pallets, just because I like you.”
“Two and a half, and that’s as low as I can go.” I shook his hand, before he changed his mind. Scotti must have been listening, because suddenly the bay was full of cargo bots, some bringing Captain Dressi his two and a half pallets. The Captain said, “Things get done in a hurry, around here.”
“They know I’m going to take some shore leave as soon as we get done here. They just want to get rid of me.”
Captain Dressi laughed. “I might believe you, if I hadn’t seen how loyal they are to you. My crew is family, and I don’t think they are as loyal as yours.”
“I think maybe you give me too much credit, but they are a good crew.”
The bots got him loaded, and he said, “Once again, it is a pleasure doing business with you. If you embarrassed the Navy as badly as it sounds like you did, I better be on my way, before they come back.” I shook his hand again, and said, “I look forward to seeing you again. Maybe someday, we won’t have to sneak around.” He climbed aboard his ship and took off. Tikki came up to me and said, “Boss, we made a haul. We can copy a lot of technology from what you traded for.”
I replied, “I hope he feels the same way, Tikki, so we can keep doing business with him. Is Ozzie’s Toy ready to fly?”
“Always, Boss.”
“I better get home, then. I’m sure I should have gone there before all this.” I headed up to launch bay two. In the transit, I called Topper. “Topper, your ship till I get back from the planet. I’m going to go see my lovely wife.”
> “My ship, yes, Boss. Any instructions?”
“If the Squirrels return, keep the system safe for as long as you can manage. I’ll try to come and help you. If anything confuses you, do not hesitate to call.”
“Good enough. Thanks, Boss.”
“Fly safe, Topper.”
“You too, Boss.” I got to the launch bay, expecting to get to fly by myself. I climbed aboard, to be greeted by Niner-Deuce, Abe, and two other old, small Marines I didn’t recognize. I said, “I’m guessing Ace is up front, and I might as well sit my heinie down, and enjoy the ride.”
Niner-Deuce spoke up. “You catch on quick, for an organic, Boss.”
“Thanks, I think.” I sat down, and I felt the ship lift. It wasn’t long before I felt it settle again. I stood and walked off the ship. I had kind of expected Nikki to be waiting, but on the other hand, I hadn’t called ahead, so I didn’t think much of it. I went on in the house, calling, “Honey, I’m home.” From the other room, I heard Nikki’s best Ricky Ricardo imitation. “Bob-bee, you got some ‘splaining to do!”
Thanks for sticking with my books. I hope you had as much fun reading as I did writing. I sure would appreciate it if you took the time to leave a review on Amazon, Goodreads, or anywhere else that strikes your fancy.
