by J. Nathan
It was as if the floor dropped out from beneath my feet. “Why?” The word barely left my mouth as the thought of me doing anything to make him happy made my stomach churn.
“Why? No girl has ever asked why,” he explained. “It’s more like, ‘when are you gonna let me do that again?’”
My eyes widened and I swallowed hard. “I don’t do things like that.”
“Well, you did last night—and just know, it was consensual. You were the one initiating it.”
“I would never.”
He shrugged as if he was the innocent victim.
“I don’t forget things.”
“I’m pretty surprised you’d be able to forget something so—”
“I don’t like you!” I shouted.
“That’s not what you were saying last night.”
I closed my eyes, pinching the bridge of my nose. Wait. My eyes sprang open. “Where are my glasses?”
He reached for his nightstand, grabbed my glasses, and held them out to me.
Careful not to touch any part of him, I grabbed them and shoved them onto my face. “How did I get in here?” I looked around the room, trying to remember even the slightest memory.
“After we ran into each other outside the bathroom, you asked to see my room.”
“I would never ask that.”
He shrugged. “You’re in here, aren’t you?”
I remembered running into him, but then everything grew fuzzy. “You don’t even like me.”
“I liked you very much last night.”
My heart began to throb in my chest. “You have a girlfriend. Where was she?”
“She’s not my girlfriend, and she passed out right after I saved your ass from her wrath.”
I sucked in a breath remembering that he had saved me from her attempt to embarrass me. But that didn’t explain why I ended up in his room in only my bra and panties. Nor did it explain why out of everyone at this party, he would want me in his bed. Or why it would ever lead to…something else. It didn’t make any sense. I wasn’t that kind of girl. “What kind of person takes advantage of a drunk girl?”
His bottom lip jutted out at the notion. “I didn’t know you were drunk.”
“Bullshit. Sober me would never be into you.”
“Don’t worry. My ego can handle it.”
“I need to get dressed.”
“So, get dressed,” he said. “It’s not like I didn’t see you last night. I even have it on video for when I want to relive it.”
Blood rushed to my cheeks, the sound gushing in my ears. “You what?”
His lips tipped up in the corners. “You heard me.”
I held out my open palm. “Give it to me.”
“It’s the twenty-first century, Little One. It’s not like it’s on a tape. It’s out there floating in the cloud.”
I ground my teeth together, trying to remain calm but knowing it was nearly impossible. I hated him. I hated him with everything I had. “Erase it.”
“Nope.”
I realized, without a shadow of a doubt, that it was a helpless situation. He was over six feet and double my weight. It wasn’t like I could wrestle him for his phone. And, even if I did manage to somehow get it and destroy the video, he was right. It was out there in the cloud, easily recovered on another device. There was nothing I could do, and that helpless feeling would be the death of me. “I’ll sue you.”
“For what? I didn’t force you on your knees.”
My stomach roiled knowing I didn’t do things like that. I’d never in my right mind do something like that. “I hate you.”
“I know.”
I chucked my other boot at him, but this time he dodged away from it and it bounced with a couple thuds on the floor behind him.
“Stop that shit. I didn’t make you come in here. It wasn’t even my idea to record us.”
I moved to the opposite side of his bed and sat down so I didn’t have to look at his face. I tugged my T-shirt over my head, then shimmied into my jeans before losing the blanket altogether. I shoved my feet into my boots and then walked to the door without looking at him.
“Wait,” he called.
I didn’t, opening the door and stepping into the hallway.
“Tutor me and I’ll erase it.”
I stopped short, and the smallest sense of relief washed over me.
CHAPTER 6
Shay
“You’ve gotta get up,” Kendall said.
I kept the comforter over my head, not wanting to see or talk to anyone. I was mortified that I had to do the walk of shame that morning. I didn’t want Kendall and her friends to think I was that type of girl. Because I wasn’t! “Tell me again what happened.”
She sighed and dropped down onto the side of my bed making it droop slightly with her weight. “I went looking for you when it was time to go, and I ran into Kason in the upstairs hallway.”
“Was he wearing clothes?”
She giggled. “Unfortunately.”
“What did he say?”
“He said you’d thrown up in the bathroom, and he was gonna take care of you.”
I scoffed. Taking care of me was not exactly what had gone down. Ugh. No pun intended!
“Was I wrong to leave you with him?”
You could say that. “How could you know he was lying.”
“Who says he was lying?” she asked. “Just because you don’t remember getting sick, it doesn’t mean you didn’t.”
If I’d gotten sick, why hadn’t he told me? “I’m sorry this happened.”
“Don’t be crazy. If you knew how many nights I’ve spent praying to the porcelain gods, you wouldn’t be apologizing.”
“I just don’t…do that sort of thing.” Like ever.
“Oh, now I feel guilty for making you come with me.”
I pulled the comforter off my head and looked at her guilt-ridden face. “No one’s to blame but me. I should know I can’t handle my liquor.”
My phone pinged somewhere near my bed.
Kendall grabbed it off my desk for me. “It’s a text from Snowboard Hottie,” she informed me seeing the screen.
“What?” I gasped, the comforter falling off me as I jolted up and checked the screen. Library. 8. Tomorrow nite.
Kason
I chose a table in the far corner of the top floor of the library, hoping no one saw me with Little One. Even though I’d let her believe things had escalated between the two of us, I wasn’t about to touch a virgin—because she was definitely a virgin. And not at all my type. But, I’d be lying if I said I didn’t love watching her squirm at the thought of going down on me. Truth be told, it was the only thing I could think of to get her to tutor me. Walking into her leaving my bathroom had set the idea in motion and knowing she was on the verge of passing out, made it happen.
I pushed in my earbuds as I waited for her to show up, blasting the songs I usually practiced to. I closed my eyes and visualized the stunts I wanted to nail at the Games. Visualized the crowd cheering as I landed tricks most only wished they could pull off. Visualized accepting the gold medal after my final run. I was all about positivity when it came to snowboarding. No use worrying that I wouldn’t pull off a trick. It was more important to assume I would.
A loud thud on the table followed by a gust of air caused my eyes to spring open. Little One stood there with her arms crossed and a stack of books piled high in front of me.
I tugged the earbuds out of my ears, the music still pouring through them.
“I don’t appreciate being ordered around,” she growled.
“Noted. Next time I’ll give you two choices.”
She rolled her eyes and slipped into the seat across from me. She looked different than she had yesterday morning. Less ready to kill me. But, she still wore her glasses and those braids that only looked hot on snow bunnies in beanies. “Open to page twenty. I assume you didn’t bother to read it.”
“Was I your first?” I asked, totally want
ing to watch her get fired up.
She glanced up, pegging me with her eyes. “If this is how you plan to spend our tutoring session, you aren’t going to learn anything.”
“So, you’re not gonna tell me?”
She closed her eyes, and I could see the irritation grasping hold of her features. She was trying to stay calm even though I knew all she wanted to do was put in her time and get the video—the one that didn’t actually exist.
And, as much fun as I was having teasing her, she wasn’t having fun. Since I wasn’t a complete douchebag—and I needed her help, I stopped. “Okay. Page twenty.” I opened my book to the page.
“Take a look at the equation at the bottom. Do you see where it talks about orbital speed?”
I nodded.
“It’s explaining that the speed required of a satellite to remain in an orbit around a central body—like a planet or the sun—is dependent upon the radius of orbit and the mass of the central body. The equation expressing the relationship between these variables is derived by combining circular motion definitions of acceleration with Newton's law of universal gravitation.”
“It’s like you’re speaking a different language.”
Her shoulders deflated.
“I never said this would be easy.”
“Okay. So, look at the equation. v = SQRT (G • Mcentral / R)where Mcentral is the mass of the central body about which the satellite orbits, R is the radius of orbit and G is 6.673 x 10-11 N•m2/kg2.”
“Can we maybe start with what radius is?”
“Are you joking?”
“Am I smiling?” I deadpanned.
“Radius is a line segment extending from the center of a circle or sphere to the circumference.”
“Oh, right,” I said, kind of remembering that from a high school math class.
She spent the next hour reviewing terms I’m sure everyone knew but me. And, while I knew it annoyed her to no end to have to start from jump, she did it without complaining.
“You’re really smart,” I said at the end of our session as she stuffed the books back into her backpack.
“You’re really dumb,” she countered, though I knew she didn’t mean it. She just hated me.
“I’m dyslexic,” I explained, watching the realization cross her features for a split second before she squashed it. “I hide it well. All the tutors my parents hired couldn’t help, so chances are you won’t be able to either.”
“Sounds like a challenge,” she said without looking at me. “How have you been able to get by?”
“By talking pretty girls into doing my work for me.”
She glanced at me, her eyes narrowed.
“Joking. Sort of.”
She shook her head, put off by my words I assumed.
“I’ve got techniques I use,” I explained.
“Like what?”
“Dictation apps and flashcards. But since I’m super busy traveling most of the time, studying kinda falls by the wayside.”
“Why are you even in school if your focus is snowboarding?”
I leaned back in my seat and crossed my arms. “So, you do know who I am?”
“Someone told me,” she said as she stood up. “Not that it meant anything to me. I don’t follow sports.”
“You should check out some of my videos. You can get them online.”
She heaved her heavy backpack onto her back. “No, thanks.”
“Again, with the ego-crushing. Is that your thing?”
She shrugged before taking off and leaving me alone in the corner of the library.
I had to hand it to her. I didn’t think she’d last the whole hour. But she had. Maybe Little One had more determination than I gave her credit for.
CHAPTER 7
Shay
I lay on my bed, researching everything there was to know about dyslexia on my laptop. Nice wrench Kason tossed into the torture that was tutoring him. I figured I’d walk him through the first few chapters, give him some formulas, and he’d erase the video. But now that I knew he wouldn’t grasp the information unless I spoon-fed it to him, I needed some quick fixes.
There was no way I’d ever be able to relax with that video hanging over my head—or the idea that I’d done something with him so out of character for me. It ate away at me. Not knowing if I’d do something to make him leak it. Not knowing if he watched it nightly. Not knowing if he showed his friends. Had I become a laughing stock at his house?
I’d wracked my brain for some sliver of a memory. Some emotion. Some something. But I couldn’t for the life of me remember anything happening between us. How could something I’d never done before—something I would’ve only done with someone I loved—be so easy to forget?
I needed to be done with Kason McCloud. Then maybe, I could regain my sanity. So, I did the only thing I could. I wore a brave face and endured whatever came my way—like I’d been doing my whole life—I could get through it. I would get through it.
My phone rang beside me and I glanced to it. A cold shiver rushed up my spine when I saw the number. I’d somehow been able to shut that part of my life out while I was at school. If I pretended it didn’t exist, it didn’t. So, I let the phone continue to ring until the screen lit up with a missed call.
I released a long breath before deleting the call.
Kason
“What’s up with Cora?” my best friend Thayer asked as we skateboarded across campus, giving people a show whenever we came upon a metal railing or a bunch of steps.
“Dude, she won’t leave me the hell alone,” I explained.
“It’s like you made a deal with the devil when you agreed to let Slopes sponsor you,” he said. “He’ll drop your ass if you hurt his daughter.”
“Look, I’m not against screwing her when the need arises, but she wants more and I’m obviously not lookin’ for that.”
“Just be honest with her,” he said as he kick-flipped over a curb.
“She brings up my sponsorship every time she feels like I’m pushing her away.”
“Dude, she’s hot and all. But you can’t have some girl holding your sponsorship over you. Especially, when there are plenty of other sponsors who’ll line up if this one goes south.”
“They all make you jump through hoops, no matter who you’re with,” I said as I ollied. “They’re never satisfied. Either they want more social media posts with sick tricks or they want you sporting their shit, no matter how ugly it is.”
“Don’t you wish it was just about snowboarding? Like it was when we were two ten-year-old-punks tearing up the mountain for kicks?” Thayer asked.
“Sometimes. But, you know, once you get a medal and pull off tricks no one else has, that high just keeps you coming back.”
“You think you’ll get gold in Aspen?” he asked.
“Yes.”
He laughed, knowing I was a cocky son-of-a-bitch. He’d known me longer than anyone I chilled with these days. He also knew how bad I wanted gold. Bronze and silver had been amazing, but I needed gold this year. Thayer was just as good as I was on a snowboard, but he hated jumping through hoops for sponsors so he didn’t. At least that’s what he said. I wondered if it had more to do with losing his mom last year that made him lose his desire. But, since he didn’t talk about her, I didn’t press him. “Hey, what’s the deal with braids?”
I nearly choked. “What?”
“I saw her go upstairs Saturday night and she never came back down.”
Fuck. How was I explaining that shit? “She’s helping me with something,” I explained, leaving out the specifics. He may have been my best friend, but he didn’t need to know how bad my school struggles really were. I’d always just played it off as if I didn’t give a shit. There was something about letting people know how bad my struggles really were that made me feel vulnerable. That’s why I couldn’t believe I’d told Little One. When she called me dumb, it set something off inside me. Even though I knew she was joking, it was like I still needed to
prove to her that I wasn’t.
“I bet she’s helping you with something,” Thayer said, busting my balls.
Laughter burst out of both of us as we made our way across campus.
CHAPTER 8
Shay
I peeked across the classroom at Kason, wondering if the work we put in Sunday night helped him pass the unexpected quiz Professor Raymond assigned. His pen moved across the paper, giving nothing away. When class was dismissed, he ducked out before I was even finished packing my backpack. In the hallway, I spotted him holding a skateboard and talking to some other skateboarders. He caught my eyes but quickly looked away. I didn’t know if that meant he failed the quiz and he was cursing my tutoring skills, or if he didn’t want anyone to know we knew each other. Likely, both.
I stepped outside and began my hike across campus, admiring the old brick buildings and ivy covering the front of many of them. It was one of the things I first noticed about the school when I toured it last year. I wondered what the buildings had looked like before they’d been victimized by the troublesome ivy. Then, I realized that the ivy is what gave them character. It’s what made them appear stronger, withstanding such an intrusion.
“Shay!”
I spun around, spotting Kendall hurrying around groups of people trying to catch up with me. She appeared to be alone for a change. Her pledge sisters had invaded our room and joined us at meals recently. They were nice, but I really had nothing in common with them—especially when all they wanted to do was talk sorority stuff. “Hi,” I said.
“Where’re you heading?” she asked, keeping pace with me.
“Intro to Art. You?”
“Intro to Drama. We’re reciting monologues today.”
“Is that what you were practicing in your sleep?”
She laughed. “I was not.”
I nodded. “Julia Stiles poem from Ten Things I Hate About You, right?”
She laughed even louder. “Oh my God.”
“If your sleep-talking’s any indication, you’ll do great.”
“I was up so late practicing, it must’ve been on my mind while I slept.”
