“Jesus, Remi,” Julie breathed. “What are you going to do?” I shrugged, trying not to break down and have a pity party.
“I guess the first thing I need to do is talk to Steel.” They nodded in agreement.
“What are you going to do about Rhonda?” That came from Bridget. They knew just how awful my mother was. I’d never hid anything from them. I’d never told dad the things Rhonda had done to me because I hadn’t wanted to hurt him, but the girls knew. They hated her as much as I did.
“I honestly don’t know. I guess one good thing about going to prison. If I am there, she can’t get to me.” I laughed, slightly manically. The girls grimaced at my joke. “And if they’ve frozen all of my accounts, there’s no money to pay her.”
“Okay, that’s enough, Rem.” Anna glared at me. “You’re not going to jail. You’re not losing the company. And no one is paying that bitch any money.” All three nodded. I sighed and leaned in, pulling them all into a group hug.
“I don’t know what I’d do without you guys. You are the only family I have left. I love you; you know?” They all mumbled it back.
A knock on the door had us looking over. A younger woman was standing there, smacking gum, staring at us. “Gotta check the computers in here.” She was eyeballing us cynically. I rolled my eyes and changed into jeans, a tank, and sneakers.
“It’s all yours,” I said to the Agent then looked at the girls. “I need to go.” They all knew who I was seeing if not where I was going.
“We’ll take care of everything here, don’t worry.” Anna glared at the woman as she stepped into my room.
I looked at her then at my friends. “Make sure she doesn’t root around in my underwear. I don’t need these freaks sniffing them.” The Agent looked at me in disgust, but I just sneered at her as I left.
Hopping in my car I texted Steel.
Remi: SOS. Meet at dads ASAP
I was thankful he’d dropped me off there this morning, so I didn’t have to give the address. Who knew if they’d tapped my phone? That was something the cops did, right? Especially the feds? I shook my head and wondered how far down the conspiracy theory hole I needed to go. The drive to dad’s house was quick, and I sat on the couch and waited for Steel to show, wondering how my life had gotten flushed down the shitter so quickly.
Chapter 45
Remi
As soon as Steel walked through the door I was up off the couch and pacing. He eyed me warily, standing with his hands in his pockets. The look on his face was all I needed to see in order to know he had an idea about why I’d had him come over.
“Why were you in California last week, Steel?” I snapped. I tried to keep the anger out of my voice, but it was hard. He’d knowingly fucked with my dad’s company. There was no way he was clueless about what was going on.
“The feds raided the Long Beach charter of our MC.” He said it flat out. I paused, staring at him incredulously. I had kind of expected him to deny it or beat around the bush.
“Did you know they seized one of my trucks?”
He nodded, still quietly watching me.
I shook my head in disbelief. “You didn’t think that was worth mentioning to me?”
“I had to get down there and take care of everything as quickly as I could. I thought I’d have time to get back and give you a head’s up.”
I sank onto the couch in defeat. A wary look passed over his face.
“So… let me get this straight. You pursue me.” I narrow my eyes at him. “Sign up your business to work with mine, knowing that you’re getting me involved in illegal shit, without telling me that part. Still, you move forward with having us unknowingly do illegal things for your club all while knowing that this company is the last remaining thing I have of my dad.”
His face had gone stone-cold at this point, but I was on a roll. “You find out that the other half of your operation has gotten caught by the feds and choose to run down and take care of them while leaving my ass to hang in the wind?”
Now his face wasn’t cold, it was hot with fury.
“Do I have that about right, Logan!?” Shock filtered through the rage at my use of his name, but he didn’t reply.
“Because what it’s looking like to me… is you decided you wanted me and put on a big show to “claim me”. Once you had me, you chose your club’s wants over mine, by choosing your business over mine. Then, rather than tell me, you just hide in your club like a coward. Once again you helped them instead of me. Correct?”
“No.” His jaw was clenching. It looked like he was going to crack his teeth if he ground them together any harder. I didn’t feel sorry for him in the least though. I was too pissed and way too hurt. I’d had plenty of time to think and come to these conclusions while I’d been sitting here waiting for him, replaying the day and what the Agent had told me. I’d been right to be wary of him, instead, I’d let my guard down and he’d crushed me.
“No? No?! I’m not right?” I glared at him. “What am I not right about, Logan?” I stood up and crossed my arms over my chest. He ran his hand over his head. I could tell he was frustrated but didn’t know how to fix what he’d done.
“You come first.”
I laughed in disbelief. “Well, you sure as fuck could have fooled me there. When did you put me first in any of those situations?”
“Okay, I fucked up. I’m not used to juggling the club and someone else. I should have used a different company and not gotten you involved. I messed up there. But as far as going to California, I had to do that. Cade asked me to, and I had…” His words were sharp, clipped barks. He was so pissed he could barely speak. I wasn’t sure if he was more pissed at me, himself, or the situation we found ourselves in.
“And whatever Cade wants, he gets. Right?” I strode forward and poked Steel in the chest. In the back of my head, I realized it was a bad idea to literally be poking a pissed-off bear, but I was so mad I couldn’t help it. “I’ll always come second to the club. To Cade. To Gunnar. To the members.” He grabbed my wrist to stop my finger from pile driving every point into his chest.
“I can understand you putting Riggs first. He is your actual brother. Hell, you know what?” I laughed without an ounce of humor. “I guess I can understand you putting the club and Cade first too. They’ve been your family forever. I’m just some girl you talked into bed. I get it, Steel. I fully get where I stand with you.” He frowned at me, shook his head, and started to speak.
“No!” I yelled at him. “I don’t want to hear it. You just ruined my dad’s company. I’m probably going to jail.” His mouth fell open in shock.
“Oh yeah, they’re charging me with 189 USAC blah blah blah… whatever it was, multiple counts of felonies for stealing and transporting stolen shit, Steel. I’m going to lose everything I have, all because you couldn’t be bothered to warn me. The fucking lady cop basically told me that the women were going to have fun fucking me in prison.” I couldn’t help the humorless laugh that spilled out. I was so beyond stressed by this point.
“But I guess a lot of this is my fault too. I knew what I was doing. I knew you were into illegal shit and I still got involved with you.” I shook my head, angry at myself when a tear spilled down my cheek. I didn’t want to cry over him. I certainly didn’t want him to see it. I yanked my hand out of his grip and moved back across the room before he could stop me.
“You accused my uncle of wanting to steal my business from me, but it turns out you’re no different. You just wanted to use me. Soon, I’ll be in jail and you’ll be shipping parts through someone else.”
He stepped forward, but I kept moving backward. “Don’t touch me. Don’t call me. You can report back to Cade that I erased the manifests off of our computers before the feds could execute their search warrants so I’m sure you guys will be fine.” I wrapped my arms around my waist. I was so tired. The last two days were bearing down on me. Grief, anger, and overwhelming sadness were crashing over me in waves.
“
Get out.”
“No.” Steel glared at me. “You had your chance to get it all out. Now it’s my turn.”
I shook my head. “No, Steel. You had your chance, five days ago. You had your chance up until I got that phone call this morning.” I took a few more steps back when he growled and started moving toward me again.
“Get the fuck out. I don’t want to see you anymore.”
Steel took a page out of my book. He turned and slammed his fist into the wall. Unlike when I did it, his fist plowed straight through the drywall. I hadn’t even made a dent.
He lunged for me and I wasn’t fast enough, he caged me between the wall and his body. His hand, the one he’d put through the wall yanked my hair, forcing my head to tilt back. Our eyes clashed. “I’m not going anywhere, Remi. You’re mine.”
“Fuck you, Steel,” my voice cracked. “You don’t get to screw me over and then claim me.” He growled at me in frustration. I couldn’t help it, I laughed. “Did you seriously just growl at me? Do people actually do that?” My anger was turning into pure condescension.
He must have realized he wasn’t going to get through my anger with words because his mouth crashed down on mine. I had to fight to bite back the moan. It didn’t matter if I was pissed off at him. Hell, the added emotions almost made the vicious kiss hotter. But I wasn’t going to give in. It was a savage struggle between my mind and my body as I let Steel kiss me while I tried to regain control.
Finally, once I had, I shoved him as hard as I could. It only rocked him backward the barest amount. But it was enough. His lips left mine, and he stared down at me, breathing hard. His eyes were piercing. Steel was as angry and hurt as I was.
What did he have to be hurt about? I’d been nothing but loyal to him. I saw some sort of decision flash in his eyes and his head started moving toward me again.
Oh no, I muttered to myself. I couldn’t let him touch me. The spell he managed to weave over my body, my mind... your heart, that stupid inner voice whispered, was too encompassing when he touched me. It was too easy to lose myself in him and I’d just end up forgiving him. I quickly brought my knee up, and it connected hard and fast with his balls. He grunted in pain, the breath leaving his body as he cupped himself and leaned against the wall for support. I hadn’t held back. I still only had a few minutes before he’d recover. I pushed past him and ran up the stairs.
Fuck. I could already hear him behind me. A man that big shouldn’t be that fast. Racing into my father’s bedroom, I thanked years of playing sports for my speed and coordination or there would be no way I’d have stayed ahead of him. I managed to get into the bathroom ahead of him and flipped the lock right before Steel slammed into the door. I stepped back a few steps.
“Remi! Let me in,” he roared. I could hear him panting. Even now, with how pissed he was, I wasn’t worried he would hurt me or retaliate for that knee to the junk. It wasn’t the way he operated. Not physically anyway. He’d shredded my heart though. I cursed myself for a fool. I’d only known him for a little over a month. How had I let him so close to my heart in such a short amount of time? His fist slammed into the door and I had to bite back a yelp. I hoped the door would hold out.
“Go away and leave me alone, Steel.”
“I’d never hurt you, Remi.”
“You already have,” I said quietly, but I knew he heard me.
“You’re more than a girl I talked into bed…” When I didn’t say anything, I heard him muttering. Then he said louder. “I’ll fix this,” he didn’t shout it, he said it in a matter-of-fact tone, but his deep voice carried it through the door louder than any shout.
I heard him move away from the door and I let out the breath I was holding. The stress of my mother’s visit, the knowledge that my father had been paying her off, the fact that my boyfriend had lied to me and used my company, and now having the FBI gunning for me was all too much for me to take. Breaking up with Steel was just the final straw. I slid down to the floor and finally let myself cry the tears I’d been holding in the last two days.
Chapter 46
Remi
I woke up the next morning and frowned at the ceiling. Was that mine? I rolled over and groaned as I finally remembered the events from yesterday. The meeting with the FBI, the fight with Steel, crying my eyes out for most of the night before finally crawling into dad’s bed in our old house. I grabbed my phone to check my messages. Three emails on the University’s email server from different professors. I ignored them.
I’d already figured out that I was close to failing one of my courses, even if I aced the final. That was all going to have to get put on hold until I figured out everything with Rhonda and the FBI. If it meant I had to retake the course, then so be it. With that grim thought, I ignored the texts and missed calls from Steel and opened an email from Mr. Jeffries.
“Shit!” I jumped off the bed and started searching for my keys. He’d responded that he could meet this morning at eleven a.m., and it was already nine-thirty. I needed to get home, shower, change, eat, and get over to the bank so I could figure out if dad really had been paying Rhonda. I wouldn’t put it past my sleazy mother to be lying.
Finally, I found my keys laying near the sofa downstairs. After locking up the house I looked around the quiet neighborhood before driving home. I had an uneasy feeling that the next few days were going to be the second-worst of my life. What could be worse than the death of my father, after all? Jail, blackmail, and heartbreak definitely didn’t compare.
I walked through our front door and tossed my keys on the counter. “Anyone home?”
Anna’s head popped up from the couch in the living room.
“Hey, Rem!” She looked me up and down. I’m sure I looked like hell since I’d been crying for hours the night before then slept in my clothes. “How did your talk with Steel go?” The way she said it and the hesitant tone of voice told me she already knew it went badly.
“I broke up with him.” I walked up and crossed my arms over my stomach, a gesture that Julie would have loved to point out was a defensive, protective one, even if unconscious. Her psychologist’s brain would have wanted to pick apart why my mind and body were obviously at war with the act of breaking up with the man that I had been falling in love with. Was already in love with, whispered the annoying little voice in my head.
“Back off, bitch,” I muttered.
“What?” Anna’s eyes were huge as she stared at me in shock.
“Sorry, not you.”
She blinked a few times then stood up and felt my forehead as though checking for a fever. “Remi, I’m worried about you.” I slapped her hand away. “No, really. We’re all worried about you. About all of this. What can we do to help?”
I pulled Anna into an abrupt hug. She yelped at the sudden movement but then relaxed into it after a moment.
“You guys are the best friends I could ever hope for. More than friends really, sisters. I don’t know if there is anything that can be done right now. But if there is, I’ll let you know. Okay?”
She nodded, chin bumping my shoulder as we clung to each other. I broke away reluctantly.
“I have to shower. I need to go meet Mr. Jeffries down at the bank.” I shook my head at her questioning look. “I’ll tell you guys about it later but I’m going to be late if I don’t get moving. I have to go talk to Uncle Caleb after that, so I need to shower and change, badly.” We parted ways as I trotted up the stairs and down the hall to get ready for my meeting. All through the next hour, I tried to come up with a game plan in my head for how I was going to handle the next few meetings in my day.
My game plan was failing massively. The first bullet point had been to find out that my mother was lying, and dad hadn’t been paying her off. Okay, maybe that wasn’t realistic? But was it realistic to just believe it when your loser mother shows up in your life and tells you a crazy story like that? I sighed and looked down at the printout that Mr. Jeffries had handed me. Rhonda had lied, sort of. Last year was
one hundred thousand. Before that dad had paid her eighty thousand, the very first year had only been ten thousand. Each year the business got bigger and she had been paid more.
There was no way dad could have easily afforded that amount in the first few years of business. Businesses were rarely profitable in the first three years after starting up. That’s why the payments in the first years were so small. Rhonda was greedy but seemed smart enough to demand what the business could afford.
I could thank my college classes for teaching me something. So why was he paying her?
This was the first time since his death that I wish I could speak to him more than just to hear his voice. I felt tears pricking at my eyes. I missed him so much and I wondered if he was watching the mess my life had become and was disappointed? I hoped not because I was doing my best. I took a deep breath and met Mr. Jeffries’s curious gaze.
“Is there a memo on any of these? To say what the payments were for?”
“I’m sorry Ms. Mackenzie there isn’t.”
I nodded. I didn’t figure he’d have put down ‘for blackmailer’ in the memo but I was curious. I made a mental note to contact Mrs. Clarence, my accountant to see what these payments were being placed under.
“Thank you very much for all your help today Mr. Jeffries.” We made pleasant, if brief, small talk before I hightailed it out of there. I wasn’t looking forward to speaking with my uncle, but it needed to happen. He was beyond pissed at me for continuing to see Steel after he told me I had to break it off, and I continued seeing him in secret anyway. Then I had blown him off after the FBI came yesterday. Yeah, it was going to be an uncomfortable day.
That was pretty much the only kind of day I had any more.
We needed to figure out what we were going to do about the FBI, and what needed to be done to get our truck back. The missing driver had come back a few hours after my fight with Steel. I’d paused my crying jag long enough to answer Uncle Caleb’s call and set up a meeting for this afternoon. I pulled into the lot at Mackenzie’s Trucking and just sat looking at the storefront. I was so proud of this company and not only because it was dad’s place. I loved it as my own too, so much it added a whole other level of terror when I thought of losing it.
Heart of Steel Page 21
