by Annie West
As if anyone could snare this man who didn’t trust!
‘I was utterly convinced I couldn’t father a child.’
‘What changed?’
In her peripheral vision she saw him raise his arm to rub the back of his neck. ‘I got medical advice. It’s rare but occasionally a vasectomy isn’t successful.’
He paused and she said nothing. After all, she already knew he’d fathered her child. She’d had weeks to convince herself it was as well he wanted nothing to do with her baby. She’d bring it up herself, here on her island, where it would be loved and cared for.
‘And?’
‘And I had a check-up. It turns out that mine is one of those rare cases.’ His tone was so sombre it raised the hair on her arms and across her neck. ‘There’s an outside chance I could father a child.’
Cora felt like shouting it wasn’t a chance. It was a reality. One she lived with every day, as she fought to acclimatise to the fact she was pregnant. Early next year she’d be a mother.
She’d alternated between fear and excitement. She knew nothing about babies and this was going to affect her plans to return to marine biology. But her father and Doris would stand by her when she told them. Her child would have a stable, loving home, even without its father on the scene.
‘You don’t say anything.’
She swung around. ‘What do you want me to say, Strato? You’re not telling me anything I don’t know. I’m the one whose whole life has changed because I’m carrying your child.’ Her index finger drilled hard against his breastbone.
Before she could pull back he covered her hand with his. Cora was shocked at how warm and familiar it felt. Shocked at how something in her eased at his touch. How much she wanted from him, even now.
The realisation made her yank her hand free and step back. This man destroyed her in so many ways.
Pain engulfed her. She’d fallen for Strato, believing him to be something he wasn’t. Which confirmed her appalling taste in men. Twice she’d made a terrible mistake, gulled into believing someone selfish and over-privileged might care about her.
She tilted her chin to meet his stare. ‘You’ve said you’re sorry. Now what?’ His apology didn’t change anything fundamental. ‘I notice you admit you could be the father, not that you are.’
Strato lifted his shoulders. ‘There’s a big difference between the two.’
Cora’s hands jammed on her hips. ‘You really are some piece of work, Strato. You come all this way and admit you overreacted but still you don’t believe me.’ She dragged in a rough breath, made difficult by the way her lungs cramped, pain shooting behind her ribs. ‘It’s as if you want to believe I’m lying.’
To her surprise, he shifted, his gaze leaving hers.
She was right! He’d prefer to believe she was a gold-digger. The realisation loosened her knees and she had to concentrate on staying upright.
‘The one thing in this world that I want to avoid is becoming a father.’ His deep voice was rough with what sounded like genuine emotion.
Why was that so important to him? She’d pondered that from every angle and had no answer.
‘What are you after? A paternity test? You’re trying to prove, even now, that the baby isn’t yours?’
As soon as she said it she realised she’d hit the nail on the head. It was there in his stillness, that searching scrutiny so intense that she felt it even in the silver wash of moonlight.
‘Is it so unreasonable?’ He spread his hands palm up. ‘The odds are against it, since I used a condom every time. And I’ve already had two women claim to be pregnant with my child.’
But I’m not like them!
Cora wanted to shriek the words, barely managing to hold them back.
‘I see.’ It took everything she had to keep her hands on her hips rather than wrapping her arms defensively around herself.
He cared so little for her that he wanted her to be a liar, so he could walk back to his hedonistic life without a backward glance. Her baby deserved better than this man as its father.
‘And if I refuse?’
‘Why would you refuse the chance to prove I’m the father? There’s no risk to the child. All it takes is a blood test from you. And if I am the father...’ he paused and she watched him breathe deep as if collecting himself ‘...then I’ll provide support.’
‘Money, you mean.’ Because clearly he wouldn’t be a real father, bonding with their baby and being there through thick and thin.
The fight went out of her. Cora’s shoulders slumped as exhaustion hit. She’d known they had no future, yet she’d hoped. Now she saw how futile those hopes were.
She shook her head, about to turn away, then stopped.
Was that the responsible thing to do? She remembered how close they’d come to losing the family business, how tenuous her scientific career would be once she took more time off to have a child. What if there was another downturn and they lost the hotel? Sometime in the future her child might need financial help from its father.
So she made herself ask about the paternity test.
Unsurprisingly Strato had someone on his yacht who could visit the next day to take a blood sample then return to Athens to have the results processed.
For what felt like a full minute she hesitated, fighting outrage. Finally she nodded. ‘I’ll do it. But just send the doctor. I don’t want to see you.’
She’d prove this baby was Strato’s in case their child ever needed his support, but then she’d cut him from her life. He didn’t want her and didn’t want to be a father. Well, that was fine with her.
It had to be fine. For she had no choice in the matter.
Cora spun on her heel and marched, alone, along the well-trodden path home. She ignored the wetness trailing down her cheeks and the terrible pain inside as if her heart had cracked in two.
CHAPTER FOURTEEN
DAYS LATER CORA took a couple of hours off for an early morning trip to her favourite islet. It was probably too early to see turtle hatchlings, but she needed time alone.
Since seeing Strato she found it impossible to settle. Even when she was busy working at the hotel her thoughts strayed to him. To his apology that was only half an apology, for he still didn’t trust her. To the feeling she’d had that something was badly wrong, the tension in his tall frame evident even in the moonlight.
Wrong? Of course there was something wrong! He was convinced she was a gold-digger. It was crazy that she felt even a spark of concern for him. She was the injured party, and the one who’d bear the consequences.
Setting her jaw, she lifted her water bottle and drank, grateful for the shade of the trees at the edge of the tiny beach.
Surely in this peaceful spot she could think clearly about her future as a single mother. As yet she hadn’t noticed any physical changes but soon they’d come. She needed to think about preparing for the baby. Until now her thoughts had been a jumble, as concerned with her failed relationship with Strato as with the baby.
‘Hello, Cora.’ The deep voice came from behind her. She spun around, spilling water, and gaped.
For this was Strato as she’d never seen him. Still tall and handsome in his casual clothes, but his features were etched with lines that carved deep around his mouth and furrowed his brow. He looked sombre. More than that. He looked like a man on the brink of disaster.
‘Strato!’ Her voice cracked. ‘What is it?’ She made to get up but he gestured for her to stay where she was, seating himself nearby.
‘I’ve had the test results.’ His voice was different, no longer smooth but scratchy and tense. ‘I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve my anger that night when all you did was tell the truth. I treated you very badly.’
‘You did.’
‘I apologise unreservedly.’ His mouth hitched up at the corner in a smile that held no amuse
ment. ‘You needed support, not anger.’
Slowly she nodded. Yet it wasn’t the way he’d treated her then that concerned her as much as his intentions now.
Cora knew they could never be a couple, no matter the hopes she’d held, or the fact that even now she saw him and wanted to smooth away that scowl and have him hold her as if he’d never let her go. But surely, sharing a child, they could build some trust, some level of friendship?
Stoically she ignored a piercing ache at the thought that was all they’d ever be. Strato had made his feelings, or lack of them, clear.
‘I don’t lie, Strato. I was always straight with you.’
‘I know.’ He shook his head. ‘I tried so hard to believe you were like all the others, lying for personal gain. I even told myself the fact you accepted my money to buy those dresses was another proof against you.’
‘But I—’
‘It’s okay, I know, Cora. I know now you didn’t access my money, because you’re too independent.’ He shook his head and for a second she thought she read warmth in his expression. ‘The fact was I simply didn’t want to believe you.’
Cora put down the water bottle and clasped her hands. ‘Because you don’t want a child.’
He nodded but didn’t offer anything more.
She waited, telling herself he’d eventually explain. There had to be a reason he’d turned from caring, considerate lover to fierce enemy in the blink of an eye.
‘I’ll support you,’ he said finally, his shadowed gaze catching hers for a moment before moving on, looking down the beach in a way that made her think he didn’t see it.
‘What do you mean by support? Money?’ She didn’t want his money but wouldn’t refuse the possibility of him helping their child when it was older. ‘Moral support? Shared parenting?’
Cora couldn’t miss his recoil at her last words. The way his jaw clenched so hard she saw the quick flick of his too-fast pulse.
‘I’m not cut out to be a father. I told you that.’ His eyes sought hers for a moment but instead of filling her with the usual warmth, that look left her chilled. ‘But anything else I can provide. Money, security, a home—’
‘I have a home. We’ll live with my father and Doris, where I grew up.’
The idea should make her happy. Except for a brief period she’d imagined a future with this man, this lover turned stranger.
‘But what about your career? You can’t get a marine biologist’s job here.’
Cora frowned at his concern. How could the man who’d treated her so outrageously worry about such a thing? He confused her more than ever.
‘I can’t work elsewhere and keep the baby with me, so I’ve no choice.’ Her smile was tight. ‘It looks like my future will be in the hotel business.’ It had been a dream to pursue her scientific work but some dreams just didn’t come true.
‘But I’ll help financially. You can hire a full-time nanny. Live wherever you like—’
‘No.’ She breathed deep before continuing. ‘I don’t want your money, Strato. We’ll do well enough.’ She lifted her hand when he made to protest. ‘I won’t object to you providing support later, maybe for university. But I’ll live on the island where I grew up. It’s more important that our child has people who love it than a fancy house and a paid nanny.’
Strato’s frown deepened at her words but he didn’t object. Why should he? She was letting him off lightly.
‘But there’s one thing I do want.’ Cora lifted her chin and fixed her gaze on his. ‘I know you don’t want to be a hands-on father.’ Even though she sensed the man she’d fallen for, the caring, fun-loving man who’d ensured she had regular contact with her father and who’d worked so hard to seek out experiences she’d appreciate, would make a terrific dad. ‘But I want our child to know you. To have a bond with you. I don’t want our baby growing up only knowing you as a distant stranger in the news.’
Family was important. Cora cherished those years when she’d had her mother. Though her relationship with her dad was special, she was grateful she’d had the chance to know and love both her parents. Strato might not be the man she’d hoped but she knew he had a caring side.
‘All I ask is that you spend some time getting to know our child. Even just a couple of days now and then but on a regular basis.’
She resisted the urge to wrap her arms around herself, because what she was asking wasn’t much for Strato but for her it would be torture, seeing him again and again, thinking of what might have been if he’d really been the man she hoped.
‘I’m sorry, Cora. But I can’t.’
‘Can’t?’ Her temper flared. ‘Surely you mean won’t! Do you really care so little about the life we’ve created together, our child, that you can turn your back on it?’
‘It’s better that way.’ His voice was harsh. ‘Some people shouldn’t be parents. Our baby will be better off without me.’
Cora heard it then. Pain. Strato’s voice sounded scraped raw, as if it hurt to talk. If that weren’t enough, the tension in his big frame spoke for itself.
‘I don’t believe that. Not of you, at any rate.’ Strato was no Prince Charming, but he had lots of good qualities. So many she still, angry as she was, couldn’t wash her hands of him.
He turned sharply, green eyes clashing with hers. For a second she thought she saw surprise there. Then his expression turned guarded and she couldn’t read anything.
‘It’s true.’ He paused. ‘But I’ll arrange for funds—’
‘No!’ Cora scrambled to her feet. ‘I don’t want your money. I want the truth. You owe me that. Why don’t you care enough to be a father to our child? I’m only asking for a couple of visits a year.’
She didn’t know if she sounded furious or pleading. Maybe both.
Strato rose in a single lithe movement. ‘You’re going to keep prodding, aren’t you?’ His chest expanded mightily as if he struggled to contain his feelings.
‘I’m simply asking you to explain. One day our child...’ her throat tightened ‘...will want to know why you didn’t care. I don’t want them believing there’s something wrong with them that made their father refuse to see them.’
His eyes widened as if he hadn’t thought about that. But instead of answering, he took out his phone and typed something. Then, in silence, he scrolled, frowning, and scrolled some more.
‘Here.’ He handed it over.
Cora blinked at the screen then back at him, but he’d already turned away as if he didn’t want to watch her read.
Man slays family!
The headline stopped her breath.
It was an old newspaper report from Brisbane about a murder-suicide. A man had been fighting his estranged wife for custody of their three children. There were accusations of violence and stalking against him. One night he got into the house where she was living, killed her, drugged their children and set fire to the house before killing himself. He’d intended them all to die together.
Cora shuddered at the appalling story, her flesh crawling. She’d heard of such violent acts but couldn’t stifle a gasp of sheer horror. The only positive piece in the whole, dreadful tale was that one child had survived.
‘I don’t understand.’ She lifted her eyes.
Strato stared straight back, his taut, beautiful face so grim her stomach curdled.
‘I remember my grandfather, just. He made his wife’s life hell. He died when I was young but he taught my father well.’ Strato paused, and Cora realised he looked physically sick. ‘That’s my father in the article. The man who killed his family.’
* * *
‘Your father?’ She goggled up at him, as if she couldn’t process his words. Strato couldn’t blame her. It was such an obscene crime.
‘Can you see the resemblance? I’ve got his looks, his height and strength.’ Strato gritted his teeth, every
word paining him. It was torture even to think of his father and grandfather, much less talk about them. ‘There’s a twisted streak in my family. I refuse to pass it on or hurt another generation.’ He paused, letting that sink in. ‘I don’t dare risk being a father. It’s too dangerous.’
Cora gaped. She looked down at the article then back at him. ‘But this was in Australia and the family name isn’t Doukas.’
Strato shrugged. ‘My mother was Greek but we were born in Australia.’ He paused, his mouth twisting. ‘After that, I was adopted by my Greek aunt and uncle. I took their surname. I refused to use my father’s name again.’
Changing his identity, putting the past behind him, had been the only way to survive. Even then, for years it had felt like a half-life. He’d wanted to connect with his aunt, who’d tried so hard with him, but something held him back.
The fear of getting close. The fear of caring too much. Of losing everything again.
Was it any wonder he was a loner? He socialised, he partied. There were even a few, a very few people he liked and trusted, like his faithful secretary Manoli and Damen Nicolaides, who could have been a competitor but instead was something like a friend. Or would be, if Strato trusted himself enough to have friendships.
Yet here was Cora, wanting him to be a father! As if that were possible.
The thought of it unwound something inside him that he couldn’t allow. To the outside world Strato Doukas was the epitome of louche debauchery and self-indulgence. No one guessed at the soldered-shut lid he kept on his emotions. The fact that his inability to maintain permanent relationships was by choice, because he feared what they might reveal about him.
For his father’s and grandfather’s blood flowed in his veins.
That alone wouldn’t make him dangerous. Upbringing accounted for a lot. But he’d been eight by the time of his father’s crime. Eight years to embed his father’s twisted thinking. Who knew what that had done to his own psyche? What sort of father he’d be?
