She tried. She honest to God, tried, but she couldn't hold back the moan that traveled up from the depths of her soul. She missed this.
To be consumed by a man, by Logan. No one had ever kissed her like he did. No one in all of these years. And she'd kissed a few, trying to find a man who could erase the memory of his touch, the way his mouth dominated hers and made her melt under his lips. Her fingers uncurled and grasped his shoulders as her mouth angled alongside his making it easier for him to kiss her deeper.
Just a taste, she thought. She'd stop this madness before it went too far.
The rational part of her evaporated, and the vixen locked inside broke free with a vengeance. She climbed up his body, and held on as she kissed him back.
It was his turn to groan, and then swear as he fell against her, pressing her flush against the door. He grabbed her ass and hitched her legs up so they could wrap around his hips where he cradled his shaft in the heart of her sex.
He tore his mouth from hers and bit her neck just under her ear in that spot that made her shudder in his arms. "Christ, Trixie, I've missed you. Missed you so goddamned much."
Keeping her locked against the door with the weight of his body, he snaked his hands under her top, and cupped her breasts.
Her memory wasn't as good as she'd thought.
Everything inside her came alive, every sexual nerve ending that had been dormant while this man was away fired to life and unthawed parts of her she'd believed were firmly encased in ice.
Ice cracked and fell away now as his hands trailed over her, igniting a blaze so hot and welcoming she arched into his touch.
It had always been this way with him. Extreme consuming heat.
No man made her want to do things that she shouldn't, that she knew were wrong. Her hands clutched at his buttoned-down shirt, twisting the fabric in her fists. Any second now the fabric would give and rip open and she'd see all that muscle she felt under the soft cotton.
She had a choice here.
Think, Trixie. Don't feel.
Feeling around him had always gotten her into trouble. He brought out her spontaneous side, tempted her to fling caution into the wind and do things she wouldn't if she was thinking rationally.
Like when they had run off to the Justice of the Peace and gotten married. That thought helped wash a bit of cold on her overheated sensibilities.
"Logan, stop." While she'd said the words her voice was breathless with want, belying the demand.
His lips recaptured hers, and she was dragged under the sensual blanket again. He bit her bottom lip and sucked it into his mouth. Sealing his mouth over hers, he dove deep, keeping her objections from being voiced. He held her hips in place as he thrust his thick, heavy erection intimately against her. The only thing separating them was their jeans. She wanted them gone. Wanted him inside her, thrusting into her, making her climax.
She hadn't climaxed with a man since he'd left.
The jerk. He'd left her. Thrown her away, and now he was back thinking he could pick up where they'd left off?
No, she couldn't do this.
She tore her mouth free and pushed at his shoulders. "No, Logan. Stop." Her voice was considerably colder this time, but Logan was lost, caught up in her. She struggled in his hold, pushing at him with her hands and legs.
"Yes," he hissed, thrusting back, flattening her against the door.
"No. Damn it." She pinched him in the sensitive skin under his arm.
"Ouch." He lifted his head. "What'd you do that for?"
"Let me go," she said, her tone cold and so icy it crackled.
He met her eyes, his were hot and cloudy with desire. They slowly cleared, but he didn't release her. His breathing heavy, as his chest pressed against hers, his fingers flexing on her ass wanting to pull her closer. They were so tightly glued together that she could feel the pulse in his shaft as though it ached to be inside her. Her answering pulse was deep enough that thank heavens he couldn’t feel it.
"Release me, Logan."
"You still want me," he stated, a flame in his dark eyes showing his pleasure at discovering this.
"There are many things that I want that aren't good for me. Like peanuts, but you don't see me indulging myself."
"You're allergic to peanuts."
"You might as well be an allergy too." He was more threatening to her survival than peanuts. "Now, let me go." If she said it enough, he'd eventually hear her, she hoped.
Slowly, ever so slowly he released her, starting with his hold on her ass. The friction was delicious as she lowered her feet to the floor. Logan's eyes shuddered closed on a groan and he gave her one more final thrust that sent a scattering of electrical charges through her. She bit back the moan crawling up her throat demanding release.
He stepped back from her slightly, allowing her to drag a full breath into her lungs. His fingers smoothed hair that had escaped from her ponytail, his touch lingering on the curves of her face.
"This isn't over, Trix. We are good together. We belong together, we were always meant to be together."
"You're wrong," she croaked out.
"Then what was that?"
"A kiss. Big deal."
Fast as a wolf, he pounced, his hands bracketing her face as he brought his lips within a hair's brush of hers. "Should I kiss you again and see what happens?"
She'd cut through the sensual fog once, she didn't know if she could a second time. Not with her pulse still racing through her veins and her body demanding satisfaction that had been long denied. "Try it and I'll knee you in the balls."
His lips quirked into a smile. "Just one of the many things I loved about you. Your ability to bullshit your way through a dicey situation."
She held her mouth shut. Not wanting to say anything that would make him feel like he had to prove something to her. Or what might come unbidden out of her mouth, like demanding he kiss her again.
His eyes bored into hers, and she held his stare until she thought he was going to drive his point home. But he didn't. Instead he released her in slow degrees.
That was new. Before he wouldn't have retreated.
He stepped completely away from her and turned, grabbing his coat that he'd draped over a barstool. He casually shrugged it on. "Want to catch dinner tomorrow?"
"Uh..." Had he just asked her out on a date? "Working all day."
"All day?" He cocked a brow and she remembered that he'd heard that she and Miles had plans.
"I'm self-employed, so yes, I work all the time," she hedged. Work was her life and she loved her life. She did, damn it. Didn't feel like there was anything missing.
Sure, keep lying to yourself.
"I'll bring you dinner. You can take a break to eat it."
"No, Logan. I don't want you here."
"There's something you need to get used to. I'm here to stay. You'll have to wrap that around that pretty brain of yours. Your husband is back, and I want my wife and all that marriage entails. Those things we planned and dreamed about. I want it all, Trixie. I want it with you."
Her mouth went dry. "Don't you dare tell anyone we're married." His brow rose over her use of the dare word.
"Oh, baby, you of all people should remember that I dare better than most."
How could she forget? It was one of the reasons she was in this predicament. Waving a dare in front of Logan Slade was the same as waving a fish in front of a bear.
"Please, don't tell anyone that we're married," she gritted out through clenched teeth.
"Dinner tomorrow night. We'll talk." He opened and then closed the door behind him as if that settled everything.
She had plans with Miles tomorrow night. As the silence of the bar pressed heavy against her, she realized that Logan hadn't agreed to anything.
Chapter Five
The next morning, Logan came to a stumbling halt as he entered his mother's kitchen in search of coffee.
Janet Slade-Johnson-England-White—oh who the hell knew what last na
me she went by now, she'd been married so many times—was on top of the counter with her legs hiked around the current man in her life, his hands roaming under her clothes, kissing her senseless.
"Ah, shit, Mom." Not again.
Janet squeaked and jumped down from the counter, adjusting her clothing. A nervous laughed escaped her and her already pink blush heightened. "Sorry, Logan, we, uh, thought you were still sleeping off your late night."
He couldn't enter a room in this house without finding his mother on top of or bent over some piece of furniture while his former biology teacher Axel Watchman felt her up.
There was way too much "biology" going on between the two of them. They were hornier than teenagers. Hell, there were some things a son should never see his mother doing.
That's it. He had to find his own place. Today.
"Good morning, Logan," Axel said casually as if he hadn't interrupted him groping his mother. He offered Logan a cup of coffee.
Logan took the mug, not as a peace offering, more as something to keep his hands busy with rather than beating the shit out of Mr. Watchman for violating his mother. Just what were the man's intentions? He'd moved in months ago and seemed very comfortable in his mother's house. Too comfortable. Did he plan to marry her? Break her heart like all the other men who'd paraded in and out of her life? It was past time for a man-to-man talk.
"How'd it go with Trixie," Janet asked, taking a seat at the table.
His mother was a looker with her violet eyes and strawberry-blond hair. But it was her porcelain skin and amazing bone-structure that had her trumping getting older like a champ. No one would guess his mother was in her mid-fifties. She looked more mid to late thirties, which had irked him most his life. Any friends he'd brought home from high school immediately crushed on her. She also had a soft, forgiving heart and let men treat her like shit. Case in point, why he couldn't keep up with how many times she'd been married.
After the last deadbeat, she'd vowed not to take another. But Janet liked men, and she hated being alone. Logan just wanted her with someone who would value the special person she was and not take advantage of her.
The jury was still out on Mr. Watchman.
"Logan, you okay?" Janet asked, her brows knitting together in concern. "The coffee strong enough? I can make another pot."
"No, Mom, this is fine. Just lost in thought, that's all." He took a sip while she watched. "Coffee's great. Exactly how I like it."
Axel set a cup in front of Janet, bending down to place a sweet kiss on her cheek. She beamed up at him. "He's quite the cook. So good in the kitchen."
"The cook" quirked a knowing smile at his mother.
Gross.
Logan couldn’t take it anymore. "Okay, that's it. Mr. Watchman, I have to know, what are your intentions toward my mom?"
"Logan!" Janet scolded.
Axel smiled and forked bacon out of the pan onto a plate covered with paper towels. "Been waiting for you to ask me that since you got back, son, and call me Axel. If I have my way, we'll be family soon."
Logan stiffened at being called son. Too many men had referred to him like that. "I'm not your son," he said in a deadly quiet voice.
"Now, Logan." Janet laid her hand on his arm.
"You're right," Axel said. "You aren't my son. I shouldn't have addressed you as such. How about you work on dropping the Mr. Watchman and calling me Axel, and we'll go from there?"
"Well, that's a start," Logan murmured though he wasn't willing to trust him yet. A lot of men had told him they loved his mother, had even told him that they loved him. They'd also beaten the shit out of both of them in the name of love.
Mr. Watchman—Axel—served a huge breakfast while his mom talked animatedly about her shop and plans for the day.
Logan sipped his coffee feeling like a third wheel. He hoped Axel was the real thing. Never had he seen the men in his mother's life wait on her. She'd always hurried to do for them. Cook, clean, pay the bills, rush to hand them a drink.
Axel looked at Janet like he really did care. Casually he'd caress her hand, her cheek or brush his body against hers. He laughed at her jokes and asked her more information about her plans for the day. It was weird and yet nice.
"Tell me about Trixie," Janet asked again. "I've been dying to know how it went. I didn't even hear you come in last night." She gave him a knowing look.
"It's not what you think. She wouldn't talk to me so I waited her out until the bar closed."
"Oh, so you didn't iron things out?"
"Still working on it." He knew this wouldn’t be easy. Nothing in life worthwhile had ever been handed to him.
"How could she not fall into your arms after getting a look at my handsome boy?"
"Doubt she sees me that way." No, she saw him more as a bug to eradicate.
"If you truly care about her, don't give up," Axel said, linking fingers with Janet. "I wore your mother down."
He did not want to know this.
"Had the hots for her since you were in my class ten years ago."
Please stop.
Logan loaded his fork and plowed through his breakfast hoping to get out of there fast.
"What are your plans for the day?" she asked.
A couple of hours working out to burn off breakfast to start. He'd be the size of a house if he kept eating like this. "Fix the snowplow on the front of the truck, and then clear off the road for starters."
"Oh, no, Logan, take some time to relax, besides, Axel planned to take care of that."
"Tell you what," Axel said, "why don't we do it together?" He smiled as though excited at the prospect of some father/son bonding shit.
Not happening. He wasn't a kid anymore.
"No, I got it." Logan drained his coffee cup and stood with his clean plate. He'd had way too much downtime since he'd gotten out of the service. "Why don't you drive Mom to work?"
Plus, he needed time to figure out a strategy to breach Trixie's defenses and find another place to live.
Trixie stretched awake and peered at the clock. Only four hours this time. She laid there willing herself to fall back to sleep, but nope, she couldn't be that lucky. Normally, she didn't require a lot of sleep, but with the holiday season in full swing, she'd been burning the candle brighter than usual.
Throwing the covers off, she climbed out of bed and padded into the kitchen on bare feet. She started the coffeemaker and stood in front of it as it went through the motions. When coffee filtered through, she held her mug underneath the stream until it was full and then replaced the carafe. The first sip was hot and bitter, and her body sighed in appreciation of the jumpstart. She yawned, wiped at her eyes as they finally opened all the way, and sat down at her desk booting up her computer.
Her mornings all started the same, coffee, computer, refill, food, shower, and then back to the computer until she had to report downstairs at the various businesses. Today she'd be overseeing the bookstore, pitch hitting at the bakery and café, and then back to bartending tonight. Something nagged at the back of her mind. There was something else she had to take care of this evening. Pamela was scheduled to cover for her tonight because she had a date with Miles. Everything that had happened last night came rushing back.
Her husband had returned.
Logan was back, and he'd kissed her. She'd kissed him and would have probably done more if she hadn't come to her senses in time.
She had a problem. Schedules, inventory, liquor orders, and employees could wait. She needed to figure out how to deal with Logan and get him out of her life for good before she did something stupid.
Like sleep with him.
Miles was the man she'd planned to sleep with. Now that Logan was back, her "date" with Miles felt...wrong.
Come on, she'd been celibate long enough. She hadn't even been tempted to make love with another man until Miles. If she were honest, she hadn't given men a chance to get close enough. She was too busy building an empire.
Tipping up her c
offee cup, she found it empty. Was it too early to have a whiskey?
Yeah, not smart. She returned to the pot and refilled her cup. She'd require sharpness of thought in order to out maneuver Logan Slade.
The man last night had resembled the boy she'd fallen in love with. The boy she'd used to say yes to whatever he wanted. Not anymore. She had defenses in place against him, but the man he'd become was apparently harder to resist. Case in point, how she'd almost given in last night.
She needed to get on birth control. She'd already picked up condoms last week in preparation for her planned date with Miles. But with Logan in town, she might need more protection.
No, she did not. She wasn't sleeping with him so birth control wasn't needed. In fact, not being on it might keep her from falling in bed with him.
Right, like you're going to be thinking sensibly when he gets his hands under your clothes again.
There would be no again.
Her skin tingled remembering how it felt to have him touch her after all these years.
No. No thoughts like that. Don't muddle your thinking.
He's just a man.
A man who has done you wrong. Way wrong. Don't forget that.
Her phone rang, and she said a quick thank you to whoever was calling for disrupting her train of thought.
"I heard you saw Logan last night," Tern Maiski said, as soon as she said hello.
"How did you hear that already?" Tern was in Fairbanks. Granted only fifteen miles from North Pole, but really how far did the "candy cane chain" travel?
"Raven was out your way this morning delivering pottery and talked to Faye."
Damn it. Faye needed to keep quiet. Who else had she told? Trixie glanced at her watch. It was already nine-thirty and the bakery had been open since six. That meant Faye had been telling anyone who came in for the last three and a half hours about her and Logan.
Criminy.
"How are you doing?" Tern asked, the concern in her voice coming through the line clearly. Tern wasn't one to get caught up in gossip. She'd called because she was genuinely worried. "Trixie, are you still there?"
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