He cleared his throat, and the tips of his ears blushed. “I’ll drop in and see Brunner. Let her know what we found.”
She tutted and waved a dismissive hand. “We have no idea what this is yet. Better to go to her with answers, don’t you think?”
Payne conceded with a slant of his head. He stood and steered me toward the door with a hand at the small of my back.
“Let’s get you back to the shadow wing.”
I could have shadow phased, but with Payne by my side, it wasn’t really an option. So we took the long route.
“How is shadow cadet life treating you?” Payne asked as he strode, hands in pockets, beside me.
“Good. It’s good.” Not much more I could say without breaking oath.
A gargoyle slipped out of the shadows and glared at us with orange eyes.
“At ease.” Payne flicked a wrist in its direction.
The stone monster melted into the darkness once again.
“They creep me out,” Payne said.
I looked up at him in surprise. “Really?”
He chuckled. “Really. We used to have one growing up. A gift from the council. They’re usually inactive during the day, but here at the Academy the weavers have adjusted and modified the goyles to remain active around the clock if need be.”
“They’re also usually smaller, right?”
“Only the ones employed in regular households,” Payne said.
“How do you know my parents?” The question just popped out. “Sorry, I just noticed you seemed to know them when they … In the office the other day.”
His step faltered. “Oh. Um, socially. Your parents and I attended prep academy together. Then I came here and they … They got married.”
“So, you were friends?”
He was silent for a long beat and then, “Yes. You could say we were friends.”
We rounded the corner that led to the shadow wing and its barred entrance.
Payne slowed his pace. “You look a lot like her, you know. Your mother.”
His words were like a cold bucket of water. “Yeah? Well, that’s where the resemblance ends.”
His eyes were sad. “We can’t choose our family, but you have a chance to make a new family here with your friends.”
He was right. Already, I felt as if Lloyd’s troop and Harmon and Thomas were my new family, and Hyde … Well, I didn’t even want to dwell on what I wanted him to be.
Payne meant well, though, and snapping at him was pointless. “Can you let me know what you find out about the gunk?”
He nodded. “Of course. But your trial is in two days. You need to focus on that.”
Shit. With everything that had been going on, the upcoming trial had momentarily slipped my mind.
I buzzed to get into the shadow wing.
“Lockdown, Justice. What do you think that means?” Larkin sounded pissed.
“She was with me,” Payne said into the intercom.
There was a long beat of silence. “Well, that makes sneaking out of the dorm okay then, doesn’t it?” Larkin said sarcastically.
The door clicked.
I winced up at Payne. “Sorry, and thanks for covering for me.”
“It was worth it.” Payne smiled, his eyes wrinkling kindly at the corners.
We parted ways, but it was only when I was climbing the stairs to the foyer that it hit me. Madam Mariana had said she’d gone to the library to pick up some books. Then why had she been empty-handed?
Twenty-Six
Lloyd and his troop still weren’t back at the dorms the next evening. In fact, the place was silent and dead. All the second years were gone, and it was just us newbies.
Larkin gathered us in the lounge.
“Master Hyde has instructed you to rest up today. Hopefully, the trial will still take place tomorrow. We’ll know for sure later. In the meantime, do whatever people your age do.”
“You want us to just chill?” Thomas asked.
Chill … a word that hadn’t been in my vocabulary for weeks.
Larkin’s lips stretched in a wicked smile. “Make the most of it. It’s the only day off you’re going to get for a long time.”
He winked out, leaving us sitting around feeling redundant.
“I wonder what’s going on in the mist,” Thomas said.
“Sweeps,” Larkin’s disembodied voice said.
“Shit!”
“Fuck!”
Several cadets yelped.
“Every time.” Larkin chuckled. “Every time.”
Thomas leaned back in his seat and smiled at Harmon. “A whole day to ourselves.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.
Harmon drained his coffee mug and stood. “I’m going to get changed, then go see Lottie.” He clomped toward the corridor leading to the dorm, leaving Thomas staring after him.
Someone snickered.
Thomas tucked in his chin, blinking rapidly. Shit, was he trying not to cry? I reached out, intending to pat his arm, offer some comfort, but he stood quickly and hurried toward the foyer.
Thomas would never be my favorite person, but he’d grown on me the past few weeks. I’d seen a side to him that was vulnerable and compassionate. One he’d kept carefully hidden before we’d been marked. What Harmon was doing to him was plain mean.
As much as I hated getting into other people’s business, tonight I’d have to make an exception.
Harmon’s room was the third one on the left. The door was slightly ajar, and I could hear him moving around. I knocked.
“Come in.”
I pushed open the door to find him shrugging on a white T-shirt. His powerful chest was speckled with hair that tapered down his abs and vanished into the waistband of his joggers, and his skin was tanned and silken-looking.
“Don’t,” he said.
Shit, had he caught me staring? “Don’t what?”
“Do not lecture me.” He sat on the edge of his bed and pulled on his sneakers. “I’ll talk to Thomas when I’m ready.”
“And in the meantime, you’re making him miserable.” I stepped into the room and pushed the door closed. “Do you want to be with him?”
He raked a hand through his dark wavy hair. “That’s none of your fucking business.”
“Maybe not, but I’m sick of seeing him get hurt every time you blank him.” I crossed my arms. “You’re still fucking him, right?”
His jaw clenched, and then he glared at me. “Who I fuck is none of your business. You don’t see me questioning your early evening sessions with Master Hyde, do you?”
My ears grew warm. “There is nothing going on between me and Master Hyde. He offered to train me, and I accepted.”
“Is that what you call writhing on the ground then?”
Ice flooded my veins. “You were spying on us?”
“I went for a run. I saw you. That did not look like training. I see the way he looks at you when he thinks no one is watching. Hunger.” He walked over to me and peered down his nose at me. “He wants to fuck you, Justice, and I think you want to fuck him too, but hey, who you fuck or don’t is none of my business.”
He was trying to turn this on me, to avoid discussing what was going on between him and Thomas, and if he’d simply asked me to back off, I would have, but like hell would I back down now.
“Do you love him, Harmon? Do you love Thomas.”
His jaw ticked. “Fuck you, Indie.” He turned away.
“Then stop hurting him. Tell him how you feel. Ask for some space if you need it. But don’t make him feel like shit by ignoring him.”
He stood, hands on hips, head bowed. “Everything is so fucked up right now,” he finally admitted. “I need to focus on Lottie and training. I don’t have room in my head for anything more.”
“Then tell him that. Tell him what you want.”
“How can I tell him what I want when I don’t even know what I want.”
“You can’t keep stringing him along. It’s not fair. If you can’t get your shit toget
her, then cut him loose. Be honest. If it’s meant to be, you’ll find your way back to each other, but right now, all you’re doing is making him feel like crap.”
His shoulders sagged, and my heart went out to him. “You’re a good guy, Harmon. A little grrr at times, and you can be an asshole when you want, but you’re not vindictive.” I rubbed the spot between his shoulder blades. “What’s happened to Lottie is fucked up, and Minnie … I know how you feel.”
He turned to me. “Lottie was a part of me, and now that part is gone. I see her and speak to her, but she isn’t there. The kid I raised is gone. Those experiences, those memories that made her the Lottie I loved are gone.” His throat bobbed. “It’s like trying to love a stranger.” His voice cracked. “It’s like I’m forcing her to learn to love me back.” He squeezed his eyes shut and pinched the bridge of his nose to hold back tears. “I fucking hate it.”
My body acted on forgotten instinct. I wrapped my arms around his waist and pressed my cheek to his chest in a hug of comfort. His muscles tensed, and I made to pull back, but he circled me with his arms, and then he was hugging me back.
I’d been hugged by Minnie on several occasions, but a hug from Harmon was like a blanket being wrapped around me. It was safe and secure. Heat gathered behind my nose and pricked at my eyes as the contact began to unlock all the turmoil inside me.
There was a sharp rap on the door, and then it was pushed open. “Harmon, I—” Thomas’s mouth fell open, and his eyes widened in shock.
Oh, shit. This looked bad. I made to pull away from Harmon, but his grip was firm.
Thomas turned on his heel and stormed off.
Harmon sighed and relaxed his hold on me. “I’ll speak to him.” He released me, almost reluctantly, and walked to the door. “Thank you.”
This was what happened when I tried to fix shit. I just made it worse.
Urgh.
I left the cadet dorms and headed to the masters’ quarters. A shower and fresh clothes were in order, and then I’d check in on Master Payne and the neon goop.
Twenty-Seven
“You fool. You idiot.” Larkin’s voice drifted down the corridor. “You should know better. Let them do the work. You need to steer clear. It was a blessing.”
“A blessing?” Hyde snarled. “You think this is a fucking blessing.”
“Better than what could have happened. Playing with fire means you will get burned.”
“Fuck you, Larkin.”
“You wish.”
They both fell into silence. Shit. Did they know I was there? Wait, why was I hovering at the end of the corridor? I lived here.
“Eavesdropping.” Larkin materialized in front of me.
I pushed past him. “Going to my room.”
I passed Hyde’s door. It was open. He sat on the edge of the bed, and there was blood. Lots of blood.
“What happened.” I rushed in and fell to my knees in front of him. His arm was covered in blood.
“I’m fine. Just the wrong place at the wrong time.”
“You’re no longer a shadow knight,” Larkin said from the doorway. “Remember that.” He vanished.
There was a bowl of water on the ground and several clean washcloths. Had Larkin been about to clean up the wound? I dipped a towel in the water, wrung it out, and began to wipe at Hyde’s bicep. Three neat lacerations appeared beneath the blood. But they were already clotting up.
I winced as I cleaned, but Hyde didn’t even flinch.
I peered up at him. “What did this?”
“A fomorian. We caught up to the raiding party where sectors two and three meet. They attacked.”
“The fomorian said those raiders were fir bolg.”
He snorted. “They looked fomorian to me.”
“But surely they would have been gone by now. They can’t stay in the mist that long.”
“Henrich, the shadow master, believes this was another wave. A new raiding party.”
“And you weren’t supposed to be there?”
“I’m a tutor, not a knight.” His smile was self-deprecating. “I teach others how to fight, but I’m no longer considered fit to serve.”
“Firstly, I think that’s bullshit. You have a bionic leg. That makes you even more kick-ass, in my opinion.”
He arched a brow. “Really? You think my bionic leg is kick-ass?” A smile hovered on his lips, and amusement sparked in his eyes.
My heart did a little skip and a jump because damn, he was fucking beautiful.
“Yeah … Yeah, I do. I think …” Don’t say it. Just don’t … “I think everything about you is amazing. I think …” I licked my lips. “I think you’re beautiful.”
Oh, shit, it was out there. Again. My heart was thudding so hard in my chest, I thought it would burst out of my ribcage. Blood rushed in my ears, like the call of the sea.
The smile on his lips wilted, and a storm churned in his eyes. “You shouldn’t think those things, Indigo. You shouldn’t say them. I thought I made that clear.”
“Yeah, you did. But then you reach for me, or you look at me, and I can see you want me too.” A fist squeezed my heart. “I get you don’t want to feel … whatever it is you feel for me. I know I shouldn’t. But heck, I do a lot of shit I shouldn’t do.”
“And you’re better than that,” he said. “Better than me, better than most of the cadets out there.” His hand was on my shoulder and then sliding up to cup the back of my neck. Heat radiated out over my skin where his palm and fingers made contact. He leaned in and pressed his forehead to mine. “Being a shadow knight is your calling, and you mustn’t let anything come between you and your destiny.”
Larkin’s words came back to me now. “What did Larkin mean? What did he mean by it was a blessing?”
His fingers flexed on the back of my neck, and then he withdrew from me, sitting back to look at me with a hooded gaze. “That was a private conversation.” His tone was suddenly glacial. He snatched the towel from my hand. “Thank you for your help, but I’ve got this.”
What? That was it?
He stood and walked over to the sink and continued to clean his arm. “You can leave now, Justice. Go rest. The shadow knights have cleared the mist of raiders so the trial will be going ahead as planned.” He met my gaze in the mirror, his expression unreadable. “Try not to die.”
* * *
Okay, so I’d promised to steer clear of Minnie, but tomorrow was the trial. It was life and death. And just in case I didn’t make it … I needed to say goodbye. Which was stupid because she no longer knew me, but still.
She opened her door with a polite smile. Same red bob. Same jade eyes, except there was no excitement to see me. No recognition.
“Can I help you?” she asked.
“I heard what happened to you. I just wanted to pop over and say how sorry I was and just … basically, say hi.”
“Did I know you?”
“We used to be roommates before I—”
“Oh, I heard about you. The female shadow cadet.” She studied me carefully. “Harper didn’t tell me you were my roommate.”
Of course she didn’t. “It may have slipped her mind.” I bit the words out.
“Oh, gosh, yes. She’s been inundated trying to fill me in on things. I don’t know how I would have coped without her these past few days.” There was real warmth in her tone. She canted her head. “Were we friends? I mean, did we hang out?”
This was my chance to tell her the truth, to tell her how she’d saved me, and how close we’d been. This was my chance, but I was leaving in a few hours. I was going to be walking into the catacombs in the mist and allowing myself to be sealed in, and I might not come back. Even if I did survive, my life belonged to the shadow knights.
And that felt right.
Minnie was a warm past. A beautiful memory.
She was looking at me expectantly. “Were we friends?”
“Not really.” I shrugged. “I mean you were kind and invited me to stuff, b
ut I wasn’t really into it. Still, I wanted to say thank you. For being kind to me.” On impulse, I leaned in and hugged her.
She stiffened and then slowly, achingly, she hugged me back. Fuck, I was going to bawl.
I pulled away quickly. “Yeah. See you around.”
Walking away from Minnie, I allowed the grief to wash over me. I allowed the single tear to fall and then dashed it away.
I rounded the corner, and the orange-eyed gargoyle that Payne had dismissed the other day blocked my path.
I glared at it. “We’re not in lockdown anymore.”
He shoved a piece of paper at me and then walked into the shadows and vanished. I studied the spot he’d disappeared. Was he still there or had he shadow phased like I could? That was a question for another day. I unfolded the paper.
Meet me in the lab, I found something. Not a virus.
Master Payne.
My pulse kicked up. It wasn’t a virus that had taken Minnie from me. Just as I’d suspected, there was something or someone out there that had targeted students, and Master Payne had answers.
I made it to the med bay in less than five minutes. The med bay foyer was shrouded in darkness, and the quarantine room was inky black and locked tight. The lab too was pitch black. I flipped a switch and lit it up. The microscope was still set up, but the pot of gunk was gone. There was no sign of Master Payne.
I took a step forward, and my boot tip contacted something. I crouched to examine the object. Green and bright and attached to a broken chain. It was an amulet. The same amulet Madam Mariana wore.
I plucked it off the ground just as the door behind me opened with a snick.
Madam Mariana stood in the doorway. Her gaze went from the amulet dangling in my hand to the microscope. Her face drained of color, and my scalp prickled in foreboding.
I gripped the amulet tighter. “Where’s Master Payne?”
Her smile was forced. “Oh, he left early for the end-of-term vacation, I believe.”
Why was she lying? “He sent me a note to meet him here. He said he had answers about the evidence we found.”
She waved a hand. “Oh, that. We studied that residue. It was nothing. Just a secretion from a harmless fungus that grows in the vents. It thrives on humid temperatures.”
Shadow Caster: The Nightwatch Academy book 1 Page 18
