by Devney Perry
My nasty fever had taken two days to break. When I’d emerged from the haze, the Isaiah who’d grinned was gone. In his place was the shell of my friend. It was worse than it had been even in the early days of our marriage.
It had only gotten worse on the drive to Lark Cove.
Isaiah had asked me to drive. I was happy to, thinking maybe with some time trapped in the car, he would finally relax enough to tell me what was wrong. The road trips I’d taken with Mom as a kid had been filled with nonstop conversation. But this was hour after hour of silence. Even with the radio on, the quiet screamed.
His hands stayed braced on his knees the entire trip, his tattooed knuckles white as he gripped his legs. I made the mistake of looking at him once and asking if he was all right.
Eyes on the road.
Those were the only words he spoke to me besides turn left, next right and keep going straight.
By the time we reached Lark Cove, I was nearly in tears.
Where was Isaiah? My Isaiah? I thought we’d learned to rely on one another. Or had it just been me leaning on him this entire time? Did I give him no comfort? No strength? Would he ever trust me with the truth? There was only so much prying I could do. At some point, he had to put his faith in me, like I’d done with him.
Was it the holiday in general that had set him off? Did Isaiah not like Thanksgiving? He hadn’t seemed anxious around his mom, but was there something going on with his brother? Maybe this trip was causing him stress.
I convinced myself Isaiah hated turkey and stuffing and pumpkin pie. After all, I hadn’t done anything wrong except catch a bad cold. His attitude had nothing to do with me at all, right?
Wrong.
I pulled into Kaine and Piper’s driveway behind Suzanne’s Blazer and hadn’t even shut off the car when the front door to their home opened. A man who had to be Kaine stepped out. He held two boys in his arms, both squirming and waving and laughing. Kaine smiled.
Isaiah smiled.
An actual, full smile, so stunning that tears flooded my eyes. The smile transformed Isaiah’s face. He looked years younger. He was a thousand times more beautiful. The joy at seeing his brother broke through his cloud of sorrow—then faded as quickly as it had appeared.
When he unbuckled his seat belt and glanced at me, the sullen mood came roaring back.
I put on a brave face, hiding the fact that he’d just cracked my heart.
The trip was long and we arrived at twilight. We hurried to haul our things inside before dark, then went through a flurry of introductions with Kaine and Piper and their twins. Suzanne wrapped me in a hug, strong and tight, that nearly crushed me. It was the hug of a mother.
I wasn’t ready for those yet, not even from my mother-in-law.
So I focused on the kids, playing with them on the carpet before dinner.
Kaine was quiet, like his brother. Every now and then, he’d look at me with an odd expression like he wasn’t sure where I’d come from. I caught the same look from Piper.
Everyone knew something I didn’t. Something big.
What? What was it? Maybe I should have added Isaiah’s name to my research notebook after all. But I wanted so badly for him to be the one to tell me. I wanted at least a piece of our relationship to be true and honest.
Except this was just another weekend to pretend. Isaiah held my hand when they were around, but there was no desperation in his grip.
We ate a delicious dinner after arriving, then escaped to this cabin, the home that had been Kaine’s before Piper had moved in next door and the two had gotten together.
I slept in the bed, Isaiah on this couch. He made sure to get up early and stow away the blanket and pillow. Not wanting to wake the other house if they were still asleep, we’d spent the past hour on the couch, drinking coffee, barely speaking a word.
I stared at the forest and occasionally his profile.
Isaiah was memorizing the wood-grain pattern of the coffee table like there’d be a quiz later.
My first Thanksgiving without Mom would be hard enough this year without those blank stares from my husband. We were in a strange—yet breathtaking—place with people I’d met yesterday, and the ache I had for Mom’s presence was nearly unbearable.
The holidays would be excruciating this year. Not once in my twenty-seven years had I spent a Christmas or Thanksgiving without my mom.
Thanksgiving had been her favorite while I’d preferred Christmas—presents and all. Our Thanksgiving tradition was to spend the entire day in the kitchen, preparing a feast. Often, it was only the two of us there to eat and we’d have leftovers for a week.
There’d be no cooking for me today. I’d offer to help out of politeness and pray my assistance was declined. And I’d endure Isaiah’s silence like it didn’t bother me in the slightest.
Something had flipped a switch in Isaiah, but what? Had I said something when I was sick that had upset him? I wished I could remember. Damn my stubbornness, I wouldn’t ask either. He’d only shoot me down.
“I’m going to get dressed.” I stood from the couch. “Then do you want to go over?”
He nodded, his eyes glued to his empty mug.
What did I do? Tell me. Please. What did I do?
He stared at the table.
I’d lost him.
My heart broke. My feelings toward Isaiah, the ones I wasn’t ready to acknowledge, shattered.
I disappeared into the bedroom at the back of the house and pulled on some jeans and a sweater. I swiped on some deodorant, having showered last night. With my hair braided and hanging over one shoulder, I came out of the bedroom with my shoes in hand just in time to see Isaiah open the door.
“Morning.” Kaine slapped him on the shoulder and stomped his boots dry on the mat as he came inside. When he spotted me, he said, “Morning, Genevieve. How’d you sleep?”
“Great,” I lied. “Thanks again for having us.”
“Glad you could make it up.” Kaine ran a hand through his dark hair, pushing it off his forehead.
There were similarities between the Reynolds brothers, but they weren’t mirror images. Kaine’s hair was longer and his face was covered with a dark beard. They had the same eyes, only Kaine’s were happy and full of life. Whenever he’d spotted Piper from across the room last night, they’d brimmed with love. It was the same when he’d looked upon his boys.
Kaine ducked to the window in the living room that overlooked the front of the cabin. Outside, Gabe and Robbie were playing.
There wasn’t as much snow here as there was in Clifton Forge, but both boys were decked out in head-to-toe snow gear. Bibs. Puffy coats. Boots. Hats with earflaps. Mittens. All I could see were chubby cheeks, red noses, bright eyes and shining smiles.
They were the perfect picture.
Those twins made me want a pair of my own someday. A family that was mine. A love to fill the open void.
“Piper wants a Christmas tree,” Kaine said. “I told the boys we’d go hunting for one. Want to come along?”
“Sure.” Isaiah nodded, standing side by side with his brother. They were both about the same height, an inch or two over six feet tall.
“Genevieve?”
I’d never been Christmas tree hunting. Mine always came from whatever church or youth camp stand was set up in the grocery store parking lot in Denver. Yes, I wanted to go. A new adventure sounded like a wonderful distraction.
But the one person who made Isaiah seem happy was his brother. Maybe if I wasn’t around, he’d have some time to actually enjoy it and not feel the need to pretend with me.
“You guys go ahead. I didn’t bring enough warm stuff to go traipsing through the mountains.”
“Piper has lots of stuff you could borrow,” Kaine offered.
“That’s okay. I’ll go over and see what I can do to help.”
Isaiah took our coats down from the hook beside the door. I quickly pulled on my boots, then stood as he helped me into my coat. It probably looked sw
eet, a husband helping bundle up his wife.
Except Isaiah took care not to touch me, not even to brush my sweater with his knuckles. Kaine didn’t notice, but I did.
“Do you want a tree?” Isaiah asked as he zipped up his own coat and pulled a beanie over his head.
“Could we even get it home?”
“We can hook it to the top of the car.”
“That would be nice.” Now that my painting project was done, I was out of things to keep me busy at night. Decorating a tree would occupy at least one night and give me a task to block out Isaiah’s cold shoulder.
Kaine led the way outside and I followed, Isaiah closing up the cabin behind us.
“Koda!” Gabe laughed as he fell off the dog’s back. The loose snow puffed up around him.
When I’d walked into Kaine and Piper’s place last night, I’d gasped at the dog trotting down the hallway to greet us. I’d sworn it was a wolf.
Not a wolf, just a dog. Unless you asked the twins, who treated Koda more like a furry horse.
The second Koda’s back was free, Robbie launched himself at the dog, scrambling to climb up. Koda sidestepped, causing Robbie to crash to the ground beside his brother. Then the dog licked their tiny faces, causing a fit of laughter that echoed through the trees.
Kaine chuckled, picking up an ax leaning against a post at the top of the porch stairs. “Come on, boys. Uncle Isaiah is coming with us.”
The twins squealed in unison, struggling to stand with their thick clothing.
Kaine walked to them, patted Koda on the head, then helped his sons up, one by one.
I glanced at Isaiah, opening my mouth to wish him luck, but stopped when I saw the expression on his face.
“You’re smiling.” The whisper slipped out. The smile disappeared. That would teach me to keep my mouth shut. “You like being here, don’t you?”
“I’m glad to see Kaine happy. He deserves it.”
“And you don’t?”
“No.” Isaiah took the stairs and joined his brother and nephews without a backward glance.
Standing on the top step, I wrapped my arms around my waist. He believed he didn’t deserve happiness down to the marrow of his bones.
Would he punish himself forever for his sins? Wasn’t prison enough? Was this about Shannon, whoever she was? In the back of my mind, I knew the answer.
Shannon.
She was the key to his misery. Who was she to him? Did he love her still?
If he’d just open up a little bit, maybe I’d know how to help him. Maybe I’d know why he was this way and ease some of his pain—or at least stop resenting him for it.
I was his wife, after all. I’d always thought some other woman would come along and be the one to heal him. She’d be the one to put light in his eyes. But then months had passed. Feelings had grown. He didn’t need another woman to break through his walls.
Isaiah needed me.
I waited until Kaine, Isaiah and the boys were off on a trail that headed deeper into the trees, then made my way across the trodden path that linked the cabin to the main house.
With a brief knock on the front door, I smiled as Suzanne opened it for me.
“Good morning!” She wrapped me in a hug, practically pulling me inside the house. “How did you sleep?”
“Great,” I lied again. Every time, it was harder to keep the truth from leaking out. Wasn’t lying supposed to get easier with practice?
I followed Suzanne into the kitchen, inhaling the scent of sage, fresh bread and turkey. “Good morning.” I smiled at Piper. “It smells amazing in here. Can I help with anything?”
Say no.
“Thanks.” She smiled, taking a sip from a mug. “And nothing. We’re taking a break. The turkey’s in the oven so we have a couple of hours. We’ll do the rest later.”
“Would you like some coffee?” Suzanne asked, going to a cupboard to take down a mug. “Or hot chocolate?”
“Coffee would be lovely. Thank you.”
We all took our drinks into the living room off the kitchen, sitting on the comfortable sofas that filled the space.
“We’re so glad you could come up here.” Piper splayed a hand over her pregnant belly. “We’ve been anxious to meet you. I told Kaine we should go to you but he’s been so busy in the shop. He’s got orders for the next two years solid.”
“He made this?” I ran my hand over the handcrafted wooden coffee table.
“Yep.” Her smile was prouder than Suzanne’s.
“It’s exquisite.” Though the piece that had really caught my eye was their dining room table. It was walnut, stained a dark brown that brought out the natural pattern of the grain. There were a couple of places where it looked as if I could reach into the boards and tickle the striations.
“I’d always hoped that Isaiah would want to work with Kaine,” Suzanne said. “They’d make such a great team. Both are so good with their hands. But . . .”
I waited for her to continue, but she simply gave me this look, like she expected me to know the reason they didn’t work together. She expected me to know about my husband’s past when I did not.
The conversation turned to the twins and their excitement about having a baby sister. I refilled my coffee once more before excusing myself for the bathroom.
I was just coming down the hallway when Piper’s voice caught my ear.
“Is he doing okay?” she asked Suzanne. “He seems . . . off. Maybe it’s just me. Kaine thought he seemed fine, but I don’t know. Maybe I’m just being hormonal.”
My heart jumped into my throat. They had to be talking about Isaiah. Could they tell we weren’t in love? Did Piper suspect our relationship was a fraud?
“He has his ups and downs.” Suzanne sighed. “It’s still hard. But I’m glad he has Genevieve. I mean, it has to mean something that he’s finally opened up. The marriage was a surprise, but I’m taking it as a good sign. I didn’t think he’d ever get over Shannon, but the way he looks at Genevieve, there’s love there.”
No, we were just getting too good at lying.
Suzanne spoke about me like I was some sort of savior. Would she hate me when Isaiah and I ended our marriage? Would she realize I’d caused more harm than good?
I wanted to change that. I wanted to help.
“Do you think he’ll ever get over the accident?” Piper asked.
So it had been an accident, as I’d suspected.
“I don’t know,” Suzanne said. “I think when he comes here and sees Kaine happy, it helps. Maybe when he realizes that Kaine has forgiven him for Shannon, he’ll finally forgive himself. I’m more worried about what happened in prison. He won’t talk about it. I hope he confides in Genevieve.”
Nope. Not a word.
Wait, what was I doing? I was intruding on their conversation. Sure, they probably would have had it if I were still sitting beside them on the couch because they expected I knew about Isaiah’s past. They thought I knew about Shannon.
I hated eavesdropping, straining to soak up every word.
I hated that Isaiah was so lost in punishing himself he wouldn’t confide in me.
God, I wanted the truth. I’d promised myself I wouldn’t dig into Isaiah’s past. Was this better? Hearing it rather than reading it? If I stood here long enough, I might get a taste. But guilt seeped into my veins and made my insides slimy.
Isaiah would confide in me when—if—he deemed me worthy.
I took a step, ready to head for the kitchen and make some excuse to change the subject. Hell, I’d even do some cooking if it changed the subject. But then Suzanne spoke again and my greedy ears devoured every one of her words.
“I pray with everything I have that he holds on to Genevieve. That they last. When he and Shannon got together, they were so worried about hiding it from Kaine until the baby was born. Then he finally proposed and . . . she died. I don’t want him to have a love disappear again.”
My stomach plummeted. My hands came to my ears, cov
ering them up. It was information overload and I didn’t want to hear another word.
Shannon was the pregnant woman he’d killed. Maybe I’d suspected it for a while, but to know it was true didn’t make it easier to hear.
This was Isaiah’s nightmare. He’d killed his fiancée.
And their baby.
Chapter Sixteen
Isaiah
“Hey, guys,” Dash called into the garage from the office doorway. “Take a break. We gotta talk.”
I grabbed a rag to wipe my hands. There was some grease that would only come off with Fast Orange, but since Leo and Emmett didn’t bother stopping at the sink to wash, I didn’t either.
Dash was sitting in the chair across from Presley’s desk. Her seat was empty and her car wasn’t out front. Dash had probably sent her to the bank or post office before calling us in. He’d stopped sheltering us from these conversations—we were long past pretending Presley and I weren’t at risk or that we didn’t know something bad was going on. Though at times, he kept Presley on the fringe unless she was in danger.
Dash’s elbows were balanced on his knees. In the chair next to him, Bryce had her arms crossed and her jaw was locked tight.
“What’s up?” Emmett asked, taking one of the chairs along the window.
Leo stayed standing. So did I, taking up the space next to him to lean against the wall.
“Dad called ten minutes ago,” Dash said. “Prosecution’s done presenting their case.”
“Already?” Leo asked.
“Yeah.” Dash sighed. “They wrapped up faster than Jim had hoped. Now it’s his turn to present.”
Shit. Did Genevieve know? She had to know. She just hadn’t texted me.
It had been two and a half weeks since we’d gone to Lark Cove for Thanksgiving, and in that time, we’d hardly spoken a word, though she’d been a constant worry on my mind.
I had to find a way to set her free.
God, I would miss her, but this marriage, this fake marriage, was killing us both.
We were as cold to one another as the mid-December air. The quiet, I could live with. That wasn’t hard for me to endure.
