by Tijan
He groaned and looked down with a soft smile. "You too." Then we were inside the room. He kicked the door shut behind him and sank onto the bed with me. His lips fused onto mine, and I gasped. I arched up against him as I clung to him, and my legs wrapped around his waist.
I was starving for him. I was ready to explode before he even touched me, but when he did, I shoved him back and scrambled on top of him. It wasn't long after that when he flipped me back over and we both groaned as he slid inside of me.
When he moved to thrust in and out, my head fell back on the pillow. I was intoxicated with the feel of him. I would never get enough of him, but for now, for the next two hours, I would try.
CHAPTER SEVEN
After we made love a second time, I got up from the bed and started to pick up my clothes.
Mason shifted on the bed. "What are you doing?"
"I have to go back."
"Come on. They're not going to arrest you for running away. I called someone I know in law school. He doesn't even think they can do that."
"No, but they can have you arrested for statutory rape," I snapped at him but stopped and gulped as I saw his eyes widen. He jumped out of the bed and came towards me. I shook my head as I held up my hands. "Don't. I have to go back. I shouldn't have even come over."
"Hey, hey."
"Stop, Mason." I shrugged off his hand. But then my head jerked back up. "Did you get a new phone number?"
"What?"
"Your number's been disconnected."
"Are you serious?" He crossed to his jeans and pulled out his phone, and then he scrolled through and tried to call me. Nothing.
"Logan's too."
He tried calling a few others and cursed. "What the hell? My phone's dead." Then he groaned. "I can't believe this. He killed our phones. Shit." But there was another emotion there. Mason chuckled a second later as he shook his head. "That was a good move."
My mouth dropped. "Good move?" I took two steps, grabbed his phone and threw it against the wall. My chest was heaving as the fury churned deep in me. "This isn't chess, Mason. I couldn't call you. I freaked out tonight—I had a nightmare and I—" I couldn't talk about it. I didn't want to.
"Hey." His voice dropped to a soothing note. Then his hands were next. They touched my shoulders gently.
I stiffened and twisted away from him. He didn't get it. He didn't get it at all. "This isn't a vacation, Mason. My mom's not normal anymore—"
He snorted. "Was she ever?"
He didn't understand. He wouldn't. He hadn't lived with her when she—I closed my eyes. No. I wouldn't think of it. But the nightmare came back to me. All that blood. I shivered as I felt transported back to that time, in that hallway, as I pushed the door open and saw her.
"Sam!"
"What?" I was jerked back as Mason shook my shoulders. When I clicked back to our reality, I had to blink a few times to clear my eyes. He'd gone pale and he looked shaken. "What?" I missed something. I could tell.
He cursed. "Don't ever do that again."
"Do what?"
"You checked out, like you went somewhere else. You scared the crap out of me." His hand shook as he pulled me close to him and cradled my head to his chest. His head tucked down against mine as he tried to soothe me, or maybe himself.
I pulled away to collect my purse. "I have to go. I have to be back before she finds me gone."
He snorted again, but followed me downstairs and to my car. When I slipped inside, he knelt beside the window.
"Mason, I have to go."
Panic was starting to seep in. He just didn't get it.
"I know." Irritation flashed over his face. "Look, how do I see you? I'm not following these stupid rules. Forget it."
"She'll have you arrested—"
He rolled his eyes. "No, she won't. I know my dad. He won't allow that."
I shook my head. "Mason, you didn't hear my mom. She really meant it. She'll do it without his approval. He might not even know about it, but I know she'll do it. Something's happened to my mom. She's not the same anymore. She's how she used to be—" I bit off my words. Again. It was best if no one knew how she had been. They wouldn't know how to handle her. They didn't know how to handle her now.
Then I felt his eyes on me. They were seeing through me like they always had. Everything was going to be ruined. I felt it in my bones. She was going to ruin everything.
"Look, I love you. I won't let her do anything, okay? How do I see you?"
I shrugged, but I needed to go. It was five in the morning. James would be up soon. He was the early riser in the family. I had thirty minutes and it took me over twenty to drive there. "I have to go!"
"Okay, okay."
He jerked away from the car and I pushed down the accelerator. My car shot out of there. On the drive there, I gripped onto the steering wheel with white knuckles. I could barely breathe. Every light seemed to turn red when I got there. Curses slipped from me as I fought myself from tearing through the lights. It wasn't the worry of safety since traffic wasn't too bad, but I couldn't risk the chance of getting a ticket. Then they'd know. My mom would know.
As soon as I pulled into the driveway, I sprinted to the basement area and slid in through the bottom door. Then I let loose a huge breath. My hands were trembling, but I tried to be as silent as I could as I made my way up the back steps to my room.
When I got to my room, I couldn't calm down. Panic rose within me. My arms still shook. I tried crawling into Mason's bed. That didn't help either. There was a ball at the bottom of my stomach. It was twisting and churning, rolling over and over. The unease in me was burning up and all my emotions were fuel to its fire. It was lit and as I tried to ignore it, the flame built and built. Finally, I threw back the covers and went to my room for my running clothes. As soon as my sneakers were on and my earbuds were in, I bolted from the house. Everything inside of me was ablaze so I pushed hard in my run.
After an hour, the panic was still in me. It was slick and slimy. It crawled all over my body and I couldn't get rid of it. So I pushed harder. Another hour went by, but I was still feverish. My heart was pounding as the fear acted as a poison. It sent everything into hyperdrive. I was soaked in a cold sweat an hour after that. Then my hands started to tingle, but I continued to go faster. I felt something at my heels. I could hear Analise's voice. She chased me as I was now sprinting down the street. No matter how far I went, how fast I went, I couldn't outrun her. And then I collapsed.
I fell to the ground on someone's front lawn. My arms and legs were spread out and my chest heaved up and down. My pulse pounded throughout my body. It was one solid thumpthumpthump. I felt it all the way through my toes.
I couldn't move so I remained there and stared at the sky. The sun had risen a few hours ago, but the sounds of the morning were just starting. I should've moved. I looked like a crazy woman, but I couldn't. My limbs had turned off and refused to listen to my brain. I knew to get up, but my heart said to stay still.
I kept breathing. My chest rose up and down. The sick panic in my gut never went away, but I gulped breath after breath and I tried to numb it down.
"Sam?"
Oh god.
My eyes closed as I recognized that voice. I couldn't face him, not like this.
The sound of his car hit me like a cold wave. His tires moved slowly over the gravel on the road as he pulled to the side. Then his engine turned off and I gulped. I knew what was happening. When his door opened and closed, I needed to face facts. He was coming over. He was going to see the near-hysteria on me and he was going to ask questions.
Everything clenched inside of me. Then, as my body lifted up by its own accord, I looked at him with grave eyes. At the sight of him, freshly showered, with a pair of jeans and a tight tee shirt, everything went dead inside of me.
He was everything I was not.
He was the golden boy of a rich private school. He was gorgeous. He had talent. He was the football quarterback, most popular and mos
t wanted guy in our school. He had it all. I had none of it.
I took a gaping breath and tried to remember who I had become, but it didn't matter. In that moment there was no Mason, there was no Logan. Not even Nate. They'd been stripped from me, and I was the same as I always wanted to deny before. I was the unwanted child to a hustler. My mother. I never wanted to admit it, but it was the truth. She had loved someone else, became pregnant with me, and hustled a stand-up guy to marry her. Enter David Strattan. He raised me, loved me—or so I thought—and loved my mother. Then came the time when she found another con, another one that fell in love with her, a better one—wealthier one—than David Strattan.
It was hard to swallow.
Adam crossed the street now, but I couldn't stop the thoughts racing in my head.
I was nothing. I had always been nothing. My mother tolerated me because I came from her. I felt like her. I felt like I had conned Mason into loving me. I had conned Logan into protecting me, but it was all a lie. If they saw inside of me—how I was the dirty spawn from my mother—would they still stand by me?
Adam's foot stepped onto the lawn where I sat.
I swallowed everything down. All the gravity, all the deadness, all the truth. Down it went, and I blinked at him, back to the shell I projected to everyone.
"It is you." He blinked in confusion. "Are you okay?"
I pushed it down so fast that I could almost pretend it was never there. I grinned up at him and grimaced at the same time. "I'm a mess, but yeah. I'm fine."
He shared my grin. The corner of his lip curved up to his cheek and a dimple showed. "I'm not going to disagree with you. One of those mornings, huh?"
My stomach dropped. My smile stayed the same. "Where are you headed?"
"Uh." He scanned up and down the street, but then shrugged before he dropped down to sit next to me. He drew up his knees in the same way I sat. His arms hung from them as he looked casual and relaxed. "To tell you the truth, I was going on a date."
"A date?" On a Tuesday morning?
"Yeah." His head ducked down in a sheepish manner. "It's my mom's idea to help fix her marriage."
I blinked at him. "Come again?"
He grimaced and rolled his eyes. "I know. It's stupid." Then he groaned as his head fell between his knees. "I can't believe I'm even doing this."
"How is your date going to fix her marriage?"
"Gawd, I have no idea. I really have no idea, but it's my mom's latest project. She likes to focus on everybody else's life rather than her own."
His head shot up and bitterness flashed over him. I expected it to go away the next second, but it stayed. Then I sat farther up. This wasn't the Adam who was angry at me because I was dating Mason. This was the friend I once thought I had.
He added, "He didn't come home last night so, of course, when I got up for basketball practice this morning she had already called a friend of hers whose daughter just moved here. I'm supposed to meet this Felicia girl at the Country Club." A hollow laugh escaped him. "And she timed it as the perfect excuse so I could 'teach' the girl how to play tennis at the exact same time my dad always has a match. I bet we're even on the next court from him." He shook his head, raking a hand through his hair. "I'm supposed to spy for her."
"She said that?"
"No, but she'll want to know everything about the 'date' and by date, I mean my dad's match." He glanced over and quirked an eyebrow up. "Did I tell you that my dad's been playing one of his executive assistants at matches? And she's got the boobs, the ass, the tan—everything for her to be a younger version of my mom?"
"You think he's trying to replace her?"
His arms dropped off his knees and he stood. His jaw clenched as he looked away from me. "I have no idea, but that's what my mom thinks. From the screaming she was doing on the phone earlier, I don't think she even cares who hears her anymore. Hell. She might already be playing the custody card. I wouldn't put it past her."
"What do you mean?" But I knew. This was something my mother would've done as well, but I had to admit that my mom was better. She would've been two steps ahead of Adam's dad.
"Playing the sympathy card so my little sis will take her side. I know my little brother already thinks my dad's an asshole."
"Isn't he?"
His shoulders slumped suddenly. A defeated breath left him. "Yeah, but I keep hoping he'll prove me wrong." He glanced down. "I'll never be like him, Sam."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because I have to say it out loud. I have to say it to someone so that it's real to me. My dad won't ever change. I know he's having an affair, but it isn't with his tennis partner."
"Who then?"
He looked away. His mouth flattened. "Does it matter? He's going to leave her and she knows it. Do you know what that does to our family? What it's like to live in that? It's like a living in a warzone, but no one wants to admit that they could get shot any second. I hate it." The same bitterness came out again. "I hate him. I hate her. Who would put up with that?"
I shot to my feet. Unnerved at the honesty from him and how exposed he revealed himself to me, I burst out, "Why are you telling me this? You dropped our friendship two months ago."
His mouth curved into a frown. His voice grew soft. "Because I was the asshole to you that I see my dad being to my mom every day. I'm sorry. I know you wanted my friendship. Hell, you needed my friendship. I knew that and I hurt you because you hurt me."
"You knew about Mason—"
He shot back, "That didn't mean I wanted to. I waited so long for you, Sam, and then you got scooped up by him." An ugly laugh wrung out from him. "That was a hard thing to swallow. I hate that guy." I opened my mouth, but his hand shot up. "Let me finish."
I closed it.
"I always thought the Kades were assholes. I still do, but I can't deny what I've seen with my own two eyes. They're good to you. They care about you, and he loves you. I see it in his eyes. He watches you when you have no idea he's even in the room. It's sickening to watch at times, but it's there and I have to deal with it. I hurt you, and I'm sorry for that."
I closed my eyes. Mason watched me when I didn't know it? That same familiar flutter came back in my stomach but tripled. I tried to hold back the smile that wanted to come out. Mason did love me, despite who my mother was.
"And I'm sorry about Becky. I lied to her so she wouldn't be your friend again. I already told her the truth and she's pissed with me, but she's scared of reaching out to you. She's embarrassed."
"What did you lie about?"
"I told her that you were using her because you had no other friends. I told her that you laughed at her behind her back a few times and that you looked down on her."
I gaped at him. Outrage was starting to boil inside of me.
He held up a hand in surrender. "I know. I know. I'm sorry. I really am and I'm going to make everything right. I will." His eyes held his promise. "I saw a counselor two weeks ago, and she said a few things that resonated. For me not to become like my dad, I actually have to not do the same things that he does. So I'm done lying. I won't lie to you anymore. I promise."
Why was he saying all these things? Not now, not when Mason had been taken from me and I was alone. But Becky—my heart sank at the lies he told her. If I was in her place, I might've done the same thing and gone away. Who wanted a friend who thought they were better than them?
"Can we be friends again, Sam?"
I expelled a ragged breath. A sense of doom started to settle, but I found myself nodding.
"You won't regret this."
I already did.
Adam visited with me a little bit more, but I had a hard time hearing his words. My mind was reeling as so much had changed in the last twenty-four hours. Mason and Logan had been ripped away. Adam and maybe Becky had come back in. And where was I?
When he left for his date, he was late but had a bright grin on his face. I finished my run back home. I felt raw. I felt exposed and vulne
rable to anyone at that moment, but then I stopped in my tracks when I came to the house.
