by Brook Wilder
Chuckling, I sat next to her. “It is. I won’t bore you with the details of what we have been doing.”
She waved a hand at me, wrinkling her nose. “Trust me, the less I know, the better off everyone is. I’m just glad you have been safe all this time, Seth.”
“Like you have any room to talk,” I answered, refilling both our glasses. “Badass ATF agent. I’m sure you get shot at all the time.”
She grinned before taking a sip of her wine. “Not all the time. Mostly I do surveillance and stay out of the gunfights.”
That was a relief. “Yeah, me too.”
Alisha eyed the cut above my eye. “I don’t believe you at all, Seth.”
“Well, maybe I like a little bit of action.”
The conversation fell silent for a few minutes as we sipped our wine, hers going a little bit faster than mine. I didn’t know if it was nerves or what, but her glass was empty way before mine was.
“That is some good wine,” she remarked finally, setting her glass down.
I did the same, something weighing heavily on my mind. “Can I ask you a question?”
“Sure.”
“Did you ever consider me going after your sister’s killer?”
Her expression grew serious. “I did, once. I thought about letting you just go and do your thing, but then the thought of you getting hurt or even killed stopped me. I don’t think you realize, Seth, how dangerous your work is, and how it could end with one bullet, one punch.”
“Oh, I know,” I answered. There had been many moments over the last year I didn’t think we were gonna get out of the mess we were in, that my fate had finally caught up with me.
And each time, it was her face I saw in my mind’s eye. Even after all this time, she was the last thing I would think about, regardless if we ever got back together again. “I would have done it for you.”
“I know,” she said quietly, not meeting my eyes. “That was the reason I left. Well, one of the reasons anyway. My life wasn’t going anywhere.” She raised her eyes to mine. “And not because of you. If I knew you would leave all this and come with me, I would have asked you. You were the only thing holding me together, Seth.”
I swallowed hard. “I didn’t want you to go. I loved you, Alisha.”
“And I loved you, Seth.”
Reaching out, I brushed a finger across her cheek, letting it trail down to her mouth. “God, you’re still as gorgeous as the day you walked out on me.”
She let out a little laugh as I traced her bottom lip. “You just had to throw that jab in, didn’t you?”
“It wasn’t meant to be that way,” I quickly said, dropping my hand. “If it brought you back to me after all this time, it would all be worth it.”
Her breath caught and I leaned over, pressing my lips to hers. The moment our lips met, heat consumed me, daring me to deepen the kiss. Her lips moved over mine lazily, like she was tasting me for the first time, and I let her, keeping my hands to myself.
Because once I touched her, I wasn’t going to stop.
Her hand came to rest on my cheek and I leaned into her touch, my lips never leaving hers. Our breath intermingled as she grasped my lower lip with her teeth and sucked, causing me to let out a groan.
She was fucking killing me.
Her hand slid up into my hair and pulled me closer, until I was lowering her on the couch and covering her body with mine. My hands found her curls and I deepened the kiss, sweeping into her mouth and tasting wine. Neither of us were drunk, so this was of our own free will, something I had wanted since the moment I had seen her outside the ATF office.
I wanted Alisha to be mine again.
Alisha was the one to break the kiss, her shallow breathing against my neck. “Seth.”
“I’ll stop,” I said immediately, not wanting to scare her away. I didn’t want her to bolt out of here, and by God, if I had to tie myself to a chair in order to stop touching her, I would. “Please don’t leave.”
I was rewarded with a laugh.
“I’m not going anywhere. I was going to ask you to get off of me so I could go pee.”
I half groaned, half laughed as I pushed myself off her, helping her to her feet. “Go on, I will be here waiting.”
She gave me a shy smile as she passed. “I will be right back.”
I watched her walk out of the room before letting out a slow breath, forcing my body to calm the fuck down. My cock strained against my jeans painfully, but I wasn’t about to strip down to my boxers.
Not yet anyway.
Shit. Alisha was here, in our house again, and I was about to have her for the first time as an adult.
Well I hoped so anyway. I wanted to taste her skin, to see if it still tasted like sunshine. I wanted to touch every plane of her body, to marvel in the changes on her body since the ten years I’d last seen her.
And I wanted her hands on me. I wanted to feel that light touch of her fingers raking over my skin, burning that path only she could burn.
After all this time, she was the only one who could do so.
The toilet flushed and I forced myself to sit down on the couch, not even bothering to reach for my wine. I was already nervous enough and I wanted to keep a clear head about me.
I sure as hell didn’t want to embarrass myself. I wasn’t a teenager anymore nor was I young, dumb, and stupid. The years had hardened me, given me a true prospective on life and what I had when Alisha was in my life.
I wanted that again. I wanted to come home to her every night and thank the big man upstairs I was able to do so. I wanted to see her have our kids, to raise them in a house full of love and have them want for nothing.
But in order to do that, we couldn’t be Seth the Jester and Alisha the ATF agent. Someone would have to bend, give up the very thing they had worked for all their life, and I wasn’t so sure either of us wanted to do that. I was damn proud of what Alisha had become, all that she had given up to get to where she was today. It would be wrong for her to give that up for me.
In the same breath, I would find it hard to give up the only family I had ever known, for her. They were my best friends, the people who watched my back and provided my income. If I walked away from the Jesters, I would be walking away from my very soul.
I wasn’t so sure I could do that either. So where did that leave us? Complicated as hell was the answer.
Well it wasn’t for us to figure out tonight. I didn’t give a shit about anything other than Alisha under me once more, whether we were having sex or not. I wanted to feel her against me and know everything was right with the world for at least a little while.
The rest would work itself out. It had to. I didn’t know if I could go through losing her all over again or worse, having her throw me into jail because it was her job.
Just like it was mine to kill the Aztecas. Dammit, if only I could find Salamanca and get him to deliver on our truce. That would get the ATF to back down and we could figure out the rest. It was the only out Alisha and I had to be together. If Salamanca delivered on his word, then the Aztecas would leave on their own, and she could complete her assignment, send her partner back to wherever the hell he came from, and maybe even run the field office here.
Then we could talk about our future, a future with both of us still doing what we loved.
I couldn’t lose her again. I was already kicking myself from the first go around. The last thing I wanted to do was suffer through that again.
I stared down the hall, waiting for her to open the bathroom door and come back to me. It would all work out.
It had to.
Chapter 11
Alisha
I gave myself one last look in the bathroom mirror, not wanting to wipe the smile off my face. Seth had put that smile there, along with the other things he was doing to my body, and all we had done was kiss so far.
God, I hadn’t realized how much I had missed him like this until now. I had missed his kiss, the way he touched me like he was to
uching my very soul. Everything about Seth was perfect and I was at a crossroads of whether or not I should continue down this dangerous path. If we were found out, it could cost me my career and put a target on Seth’s back in the process.
But if I didn’t, it would crush me. I wanted this. I needed this. I needed to feel like I mattered again. I thought the job would provide me with self-satisfaction, convince me I wasn’t a complete waste of space, but it hadn’t.
Seth was the only person who had. Even with my rebellious nature back then, I had still felt like I belonged with him at my side.
Now that I was older, I realized I’d been missing that.
I had missed him.
Grabbing the knob of the bathroom door, I opened it to find Seth standing there, his arm resting on the doorframe. “I was afraid you fell in.”
“The toilet is big enough.”
“I have a big ass.”
I burst out laughing, unable to help myself. “You do not!”
“What? You have been checking it out?”
Oh, I had check out his ass, amongst other rising things in that area. He wanted me as much as I wanted him. “It’s hard not to when you are wearing those jeans.”
His grin was slow. “Well you can look at my ass all you want, Alisha. I don’t mind.”
Nervous butterflies swirled around in my stomach as I decided to take a leap, sliding my arms behind his head. He took in a swift breath when I pressed my body against his, his desire pressed into my stomach.
“What are we doing here, Seth?”
His arms came around me tightly. “We are doing what we should have been doing for ten years.”
I couldn’t disagree with that. When his lips came down on mine, I whimpered, not from the intense kiss, but from the aching realization I had let this go ten years ago. I had ended this thing between us and left him here alone.
This was all my doing.
His kiss grew softer and I opened my mouth under his, allowing him to sweep in and overtake my senses, my heart beating wildly against my chest. God, he was a good kisser.
“Do you know,” he said between kisses. “How much I have dreamed of this?”
“Probably as much as I have,” I whispered truthfully against his lips. Why should I lie? I knew what I wanted.
And I wanted Seth.
Somehow we got back to the couch, stealing kisses along the way. I slid back as Seth stretched his long frame over my body, trapping me against the cool leather couch.
“I want to see you,” he whispered, pressing a kiss against my jaw. “I want to see you naked, Alisha.”
I shivered as his hands found the hem of my t-shirt, pulling it up and exposing my skin to the cold air. When his hand cupped my bare side, I nearly jumped out of my skin.
“Jumpy tonight,” he chuckled and his lips found my earlobe, tugging on it with his teeth. “I like that.”
I pushed at his chest, forcing him backwards. “Off,” I whispered, pointing to his t-shirt. I wanted to see him, to lay my hands on his bare chest and know this wasn’t another dream.
Seth’s grin was quick before he pulled the shirt over his head, exposing his tanned chest, the contours of his muscles rippling with each movement. I sucked in a breath, nearly knocking heads with him when I touched the bloom of a bruise on his shoulder. “This was what pained you in the diner.”
“It’s fine.”
“It doesn’t look fine.”
He gripped my chin lightly, forcing me to meet his eyes. “It’s fine. I swear it.”
I nodded, not liking that he was hurt. There would be a time and a place to doctor it later on. His lips ran over mine hungrily and I forgot all about the bruise, throwing my arms around his neck and pulling him back down on me. His own hands found my shirt and pulled it over my head, only breaking our kiss long enough for the material to pass between us before he was on me again, lazily kissing my lips.
Then he sat back on his heels, his eyes feasting on my plain cotton bra, roving down my abdomen. “You’re fucking gorgeous.”
“I’ve gained a muscle here and there,” I admitted, my skin flushing under his intense gaze.
His eyes met mine and I was surprised to see the cautious look there. Seth had never been cautious about anything when it came to the bedroom. “What?”
“Do you still have it?”
Confused I propped up on my elbows. “Still have what?”
“The tattoo.”
Oh. “Yeah I do.” I couldn’t part with it. It had been part of my past, most of the memories good surrounding the reason I had gotten it. Plus, since he had been the one to put it there, I found it hard to get rid of it period.
“Let me see.”
Drawing in a breath, I swung my legs over the couch and sat up, moving my hair out of the way. The catch in his breath told me he saw the other one on my other shoulder, a pair of angel wings with my sister’s name entwined in the center. I had gotten it straight out of college, right before I tested for the ATF license. I wanted her to always be with me.
His fingers ran over the one he did, tracing the bold lines of our initials. “I remember that night.”
I grinned, unable to help it. “I do, too. It hurt like a bitch.”
Seth laughed. “At least I wasn’t drunk that night. Otherwise, you would be part of one of those worst tattoo conventions.”
I dropped my hair and turned to look at him, swept away by the tenderness in his expression. “I thought about calling you up to do the other, but I was afraid.”
“Afraid of what?”
“Afraid I wouldn’t be able to leave.”
His gaze intensified and he covered me in a hungry kiss. I surrendered myself to him, putting my heart out there and not regretting anything I had said to him.
This was Seth, my Seth, the man who knew me better than anyone else on the planet. He had given me a place to live and motivation to get into the Jesters.
He had given me love.
When his lips moved down my jawline, I thrust my fingers into his thick hair, allowing him to keep going. I wanted his kisses all over me, his scent so ingrained in my skin that I couldn’t wash it off.
And at the end of this night, I wanted to fall asleep in his arms and forget we were on opposite ends of the spectrum.
This was about Alisha and Seth, nothing else.
His hand pushed aside my bra and I arched as his lips found my erect nipple, teasing it to submission.
“Seth.”
He mumbled something against my skin, but I was too focused on him moving on to the other breast, doing the same thing.
God, it was wonderful.
His hands replaced his lips and I moaned low in my throat, feeling his lips moving lower, his tongue tracing a path right to my belt buckle. Oh yes, I wanted him there too.
My pocket buzzed, and I ignored it, hoping it was a robo call and not the office. I was in the middle of something I had been longing for for ten years now.
Now was not the time to think about work.
It stopped and I loosened a breath, watching under heavy-lidded eyes as Seth worked on my jeans button.
Yes.
The phone buzzed again, and I groaned aloud this time, pulling lightly at his hair. “I have to get that.”
“No,” he said, easing down my zipper. “You don’t.”
I wanted to agree with him, but I knew better. “No, I really do.”
“Shit.”
I felt the same. Seth sat up to allow me to fish out the phone, holding it up to my ear. “Agent Poole.”
“Alisha.”
“Jon,” I sighed. “What is it?”
“I’m sorry,” he blurted out. “I made an ass out of myself tonight.”
“I really don’t have time to do this.”
“They are calling us all back to the office asap. Something has come up.”
I wanted to scream in frustration. I couldn’t very well not show up for a meeting, especially an urgent one. “Alright. I�
�ll be there in twenty minutes.”
“Think about my apology, alright?”
I hung up the phone, lowering my head. “I’m sorry. I have to go.”
“That was the asshole, wasn’t it?”
I raised my gaze to Seth. “Yes, it was. I’ve been called to a meeting. I can’t very well skip it.”
Seth clenched his jaw. “I don’t like that fucker. There’s something not right about him.”
