Void

by Coralee June

  “Render?” I called out.

  He started pulling bags out of the trunk, his grip strong on the handle and his forearm flexed. He didn’t even look my way when I called his name, so I touched his arm to try and get his attention. The contact was like a zap of electricity. The moment our skin connected, smoke started to pour from his mouth and fingertips. His skin buzzed, and his fangs elongated. I snapped my hand back in shock.

  “What the fuck?” I asked as the remnants of the wispy smoke disappeared. “Was that—”

  “You transferred the Void to us,” Render explained in a dark voice without looking me in the eye. “I don’t know how you did it, but I can feel it inside of me.” He patted his chest to emphasize the point, and pain like shards of metal pierced my skin.

  Oh gods. No.

  I reached up for my chest, noting that my amulet was gone.

  And I didn’t feel hungry.

  I felt...nothing.

  I reached out to touch him again, but he pulled out of my reach. I felt sick to my stomach, grief over my loss of identity battled with my guilt for what I’d done.

  My entire life, I’d hated my powers. I’d cursed who I was and longed for a way out, hoped for an opportunity to feel normal and experience life with Reed. But now that it was gone, regret bloomed in my chest. How could I miss something I’d always hated?

  Looking at Render, I knew how. The paragons had changed the course of my life, and it led me to finally accepting what I was. I’d learned not to fear it but respect it. But just when I’d come to terms with it all, it was gone.

  My eyes moved across the pavement, and I saw we were on a tarmac. A flight crew was getting a small jet plane ready in the distance. Reed gave me a sad smile before walking over to it, giving us a bit of privacy as I processed the tumultuous feelings within me.

  “I’m so sorry. I never meant to do this to you,” I whispered to Render as cool tears trailed down my cheeks. He hated me for cursing him with the Void, and my heart broke inside my chest. “It has to be reversible, right?”

  Maybe Hyde could wake up Emilia again. Maybe she could teach me how to fix this. I’d never forgive myself if I couldn’t.

  Render blew out a breath. “We don’t have time to figure it out. Right now, I need to get you on that plane and out of here before every supernatural in the fucking world finds you and tries to kill you. The entire council wants retribution, Devicka. The others stayed behind to try to get a handle on the situation, but...you can’t stay.”

  More tears filled my eyes, and I shook my head, hating that this was my new reality. “No, no, no. This can’t be happening,” I cried while wrapping my arms around myself. How had things gone south so quickly? My entire body folded in on itself. This can’t be happening. I’d drained myself of my own power, and I’d given it to the ones who would never forgive me.

  “Your dad arranged for you and Reed to stay on one of his private islands,” Render explained before adjusting the handle on a suitcase.

  My dad knew about this?

  “I had to do it,” I pleaded. “They wanted me to give them too much power. I couldn’t let that happen. And I couldn’t hurt any of you. I was just trying to keep you safe. Why won’t you just look at me?” I demanded, my voice sharp with panic.

  Render finally turned to face me, a devastated look on his face. I felt his pain and his anger. I’d ruined him.

  “Render, I’m so sorry. You have to understand. I never meant for this to happen. I swear to you, I’ll figure out how to take it back. I can’t eve—”

  He ground his teeth together. “You think I fucking care?” he yelled as more smoke escaped him in angry waves. He looked terrifying. Was that how I’d looked? “You think I give two fucks about this?” he repeated, and I flinched, reeling from the anger in his voice. I knew the bond had been fragile, but now it was gone completely, emptied out of me right alongside my power. I felt a sadness deep in my bones that wouldn’t quit. All this time, fighting the inevitable led me to wanting him—wanting them. And just like everything else in my life, the Void was going to rip it away.

  “I know, I know,” I said, looking down at my feet. “I was just trying to make you strong. I didn’t mean to transfer the Void to you, but I was barely in control. I fucked up, and I’m so damn sorry. I didn’t mean for it to happen.” I guess I was lucky he’d even been willing to get me out of there before the council members got their hands on me. “I understand you hate me for making you a Void,” I said in a small voice. “I’ll go.”

  I turned to walk away, heading for the plane. Every step hurt. Every inch I went further away from him had pieces of my heart falling and shattering to the ground. But before I could even make it three steps, Render grabbed me and spun me around.

  And then his lips crashed down on mine.

  It was a short, searing kiss that tasted like ash. There was no pulling pleasure from our bond. No dynamite attraction fueled by magic and unexplainable tension. It was raw. It was haunting. It was devastating.

  He pulled back the moment my knees started to go weak. His Void was pulling at my life force, a sensation I didn’t even know was possible, considering I was human now.

  He looked down at me with that intense way of his. “Devicka Cainson, I’d take the Void a thousand times over to keep you safe. I’d burn down the whole fucking council, too. But I won’t let you leave thinking I hate you. Because right now, the person I might possibly be falling in love with is about to get on a plane to the middle of nowhere, and I don’t know when I’ll see her again,” he whispered while touching his forehead to mine and clutching my cheeks. Soft tears gathered in his gray-blue eyes, his stern expression catching them as they fell.

  “Render, I…” I didn’t know what to say. His declaration had been liberating but also felt like a delayed kick to the gut. How cruel was fate to give them to me just to take them away when we finally got past the hate and distrust?

  “Come with me,” I pleaded, my hands curled over his arms.

  “I can’t. I want to, but I can’t. We’ll come for you. When it’s safe.”

  “But—”

  “Get on the plane, Devicka. Before I do something stupid like kiss you again and say fuck the rest of the world. I’m a selfish bastard, but not when it comes to this. I’d rather know you’re safe than know you’re mine.”

  Without warning, he shoved the suitcase into my hands, making me stumble slightly, and walked back toward the front of the car, slipping into the driver’s seat like he hadn’t just broken and filled my heart at the same time.

  I walked over to his rolled down window. “Can you tell the others that I’m sorry? Tell them…” I wanted to declare how I was feeling, spill my heart out on the airport runway like a loser, but no words could really measure up.

  “They know,” he said quietly, his eyes on the tarmac ahead. “We will come get you once it’s safe. Go, Devicka.”

  I took one last lingering look at him. I memorized the angular shape of his face. His sharp jaw. The haunted look in his eyes. Then I turned and walked away. And I left my heart behind.

  Chapter 28

  Two months later.

  My fingers dug into the hard rock, gripping the grooves as my feet landed on another shelf of the mountain. Sweat poured down my face as the wind whipped my pale blonde hair around me. I’d been climbing every day since arriving on this damn island. It was the only thing that made my restless soul feel at ease.

  I reached for the next groove while situating my feet. I didn’t have a harness. I knew it was reckless, but I couldn’t stand the thing. I just wanted to feel free. I was still half risk demon, after all.

  Clouds overhead cast shadows on the side of the mountain, and I could hear the waves of the ocean down below. One slip could send me plummeting to its depths. Normally, a risk like this would send my entire body into bliss. But not anymore. It was a dull exhilaration.

  Since arriving on the island, Dad had worked overtime to get me to feel again. I
t was the most time we’d spent together in the last decade. Bike races through the curved road circling the island. Cliff diving off into stormy waves. Reed didn’t understand my need to feel the adrenaline, and had to purposely clamp a hand over his mouth every time I took on a new risk.

  Two months.

  Two damn months of waiting without word.

  Two damn months without my bonded— Well, they weren’t my bonded anymore. Without my Void, the magic binding us together had disappeared too. The doubts inside of me kept piling up. What if as time went by, they realized that they didn’t want me anymore now that my power was gone? Maybe the only thing that had been pulling them to me was my magic and nothing else. Now that I was powerless, maybe the attraction had disappeared for them. They might have moved on, agreed to leave me behind on this island for the rest of my life.

  My hope that I’d see them soon had dissolved into a sadness I couldn’t cope with. I missed them. I still wanted them. The connection I felt toward them wasn’t just based on power. Somehow, I’d come to care for them apart from that. But it was too fucking late, and they didn’t feel the same.

  My foot slipped at the next step, but I dug my toes in, keeping my weight balanced on the lip of the rock and braced my palms on the nearest handheld. The wind froze the tips of my ears and nose. My nails were all jagged, my fingers calloused. It was fitting, considering that was how my heart felt.

  By the time I reached the top of the mountain and hauled myself over, my lungs were working overtime to get me much needed air. I laid back on the hard, rocky peak, letting my eyes squint up at the dying light.

  “This is the fifth time this week,” a sudden voice said. I would’ve flinched if I hadn’t gotten used to my dad always popping up lately wherever I was.

  I sat up, dragging my jellied legs under me. “I might not have supernatural powers anymore, but I’m still your kid,” I told him, yanking out my hair tie and brushing out the tangles with my fingers before tying it back again.

  My dad looked completely out of place up here on the mountaintop with his Armani suit and slicked back hair. But to my surprise, he sat down on a rock next to me, even if he did look at the dust with a bit of distaste.

  “This isn’t because of your risk blood, daughter,” he said, his eyes scanning the view. We were so high up that I’d passed some clouds along the way.

  “I don’t know, I’d say this was a pretty big risk,” I said dryly as I pulled the water bottle from my pack and drank from it generously.

  He looked at me out of the corner of his eye. “Aren’t you going to ask me?”

  I swallowed hard, but the water turned to rocks in my throat. “Tell me,” I said, my voice barely loud enough over the wind.

  “The transition went well. Better than I expected, but the paragons planned for everything, it seems. They knew where they needed to gain loyalty, and they did it. Their smear campaign against the old council members worked. The four of them took their final positions today.”

  I felt a mix of pride and despair at hearing that. Since I’d been here, my dad had kept me up-to-date on what they’d been doing. Two months was all it had taken to calm down the masses and get them on their side. The paragons had revealed what Judge Braxton and the council members had planned to do with amassing power. Nobody took kindly to that. Supers didn’t like hearing that their leaders were planning on draining the powers of others to take for themselves. Now, the paragons weren’t paragons anymore; they were the council members. Judge Braxton was dead, the ex-council members had been exiled to a human life, and I was still here, clinging to a rocky reality.

  “That’s...good,” I choked out, though it sounded more like a question.

  That just confirmed the doubts I’d been having. Because if everything was settled, that meant that they really had left me here. They didn’t plan to come back at all. And why would they? Without the bond of our powers, they’d have no desire to come for me.

  “Don’t look so sad, Devi,” he chided. He knew I was devastated by the broken bond, but talking guy problems with my dad wasn’t necessarily something I wanted to do, no matter how free-spirited he was.

  “I like being here,” I quickly amended. “I wish...I wish I could have grown up with you like this.”

  He didn’t say anything to that. “Your mother called. Again.” Dad slapped at a bug buzzing by his face with disdain, likely envisioning my mother’s face where his palm connected. “She begged me to have you call her.”

  “I want nothing to do with that woman,” I seethed. Mother had willingly given me up. She used my desire for love as a way to manipulate me. If I never saw her again, it would be too soon.

  “Your Uncle Wrath would be so proud,” Dad beamed.

  We stared out over the ocean for a few more moments in contemplative silence. In many ways, I now had everything that I had always wanted. My father was spending a lot of time with me. I was on a beautiful island with all the freedom I’d always wanted. And my best friend was with me, even if he still didn’t quite understand my nature.

  But it still felt wrong. I still felt this hollow loss of my identity and a blistering sense of grief. I missed the paragons. And the most surprising reality of it all was that I missed my Void, too.

  “Devi, I’m...I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you,” Dad suddenly choked out with a wince, sounding like the apology physically hurt him. Demons struggled with empathy and remorse, and hearing a genuine apology stream from his pursed lips surprised me.

  “It wasn’t your fault. I just...I miss them, you know? I wish...things had gone down differently.”

  Dad nodded in understanding before quickly standing back up. “Go back down to the main house. Let’s maybe try to call them?”

  I shook my head. “Maybe another time.” I didn’t want to be the girl that chased after things that didn’t want her anymore. I’d spent my entire life chasing my mother’s love. Society’s acceptance. Control of my power. All of it had led to heartbreak.

  “We still meeting up later? I want to see you wrestle that alligator by the lagoon,” I joked, trying to push back my sadness.

  Dad chuckled. “Sounds like fun. Maybe Reed could record it. I’ve been wanting to explore this YouTube thing more. Could be good for business,” he added. “Anyway, I’ll be back later. There’s a poker run going on and I want to see how many humans I can get to bet their cars.”

  I laughed, even though the amusement felt empty. With a flash, Dad disappeared, and I walked over to the edge to start making my way back down. I free climbed down the same way I’d gone up—with my fingers slipping into every crevice I could grab as I struggled to hold on. It was a lot like my life.

  When I was about halfway down, a bird passed overhead, its shadow catching my eye. I looked up as it landed on a spot right above me, its yellow talons digging into the craggy shelf. It cocked its head at me, its curved beak snapping slightly at the air. “Don’t judge me,” I told it as I looked down to choose where to land my next step. “I don’t have wings like you.”

  With one foot extended on the cleft, I slowly lowered my other foot down. But as soon as it made contact, the rock chipped away from my weight. I scrambled to keep purchase, but more of the rock gave way beneath my other foot as well. My hands suddenly held all the weight of me, my feet kicking and scraping against the rock, trying to find a new ledge, but it was no use.

  I fell with a scream in my throat and my breath in the wind. And people were full of shit, because my life didn’t flash before my eyes as I plummeted to my death. The only thing my mind was full of was oh shit, oh shit, oh fucking shit!

  The bird leapt off the mountainside and dive bombed me like I was a treat someone had thrown in the air. But as it passed directly overhead, it morphed—into a small, pony-sized, motherfucking dragon.

  One second, I was screaming and staring wide-eyed at the bird-dragon above me, and the next, the dragon had sped down, and I was landing on its hard, scaly back.

  My bo
dy nearly rolled off, but I managed to right myself and wrap my arms around its neck, holding on for dear life. It was like riding an awkward, miniature horse with wings. And it was so bright pink that it practically glowed.

  I couldn’t stop my terrified screaming until we landed on the ground, and the dragon obviously had a hard time carrying my weight, because it wasn’t a pretty landing. I went flying off its back, landing on the grass with the breath knocked out of me.

  Stunned, it took me a few seconds before I could pull myself up, and when I did, I watched the pretty little dragon morph into none other than a buck ass naked Gritt Boltwright.

  “Your third animal is a pink miniature dragon?”

  The wild, blond-haired shifter stalked over to me, naked as the day he was born. I tried not to look at his dick, but it was swinging so effectively between his legs, I couldn’t help it.

  “It’s salmon-colored. Not pink,” he scowled.

  This whole thing was so bizarre I couldn’t help but laugh. “Dude, it was cotton candy, neon nail polish, hand me a rose hot pink.”

  He stopped just a foot away from me, his height towering over me and his muscles bunched with a layer of sheen over the tanned skin. “And nothing about me is miniature,” he said, cocking a thick eyebrow.

  My smile widened as my eyes darted down to the space between his legs again. He was right about that. “I think it’s cute you’re a little pink dragon.”

  He growled, but the effect was lost when I saw the corner of his lips twitch. “If you tell the others, I’ll spank your ass.”

  I think that was the best threat I’d ever received.

  The joy I felt at seeing him after so long faded slowly, my smile falling as I regarded his handsome face. He was here. He’d just saved my dumbass life. And he was looking at me not with hate or frustration but with longing.

  “Wh-what are you doing here?” I asked with a small half smile, not sure what to make of all of this.

  Naturally, Gritt didn’t just answer me, he picked me up in one fell swoop, and I had to wrap my legs around his waist to keep steady, his bobbing cock pressing against my yoga pants. “I’m here for what’s mine,” he grunted before slamming his lips against me.