While they were both surprised at first, Sophia and Nicol were now very much used to me, and did not react much even if I showed up in my gardening overalls.
With this, the Claes manor gained yet another regular visitor, and I, a great friend.
★★★★★★★★★
My name is Sophia Ascart, eldest daughter of the Ascart family. I was born to Count Ascart, my father, who was chancellor to the King. The King valued and trusted him greatly.
My father was a gentle person — just like my mother and older brother. I was born into privilege, and blessed with a kind, loving family. I had really been blessed ever since I was born. I was truly happy... And maybe that was why it happened, as a price for my happiness and blessings.
I was born different; different than the others around me. My hair was white, stark white — as if all color had fallen from it. My eyes were red, red as blood.
My appearance was... abnormal. People would cast their curious gazes at me, and eventually whisper about me in the shadows, calling me a cursed child.
Even so, my family loved me dearly. My father, who would gently pat my head; my mother, who would lovingly hold me; and my dear brother, who was always at my side, protecting me with all his being.
My gentle family told me that one day, someone who understood me would appear. They told me that I would surely be able to make great friends... but I did not think that was true.
That was why I shut myself in my room. I did not want anyone to look upon me — and I isolated myself as much as possible.
In my quiet room, I read book after book. The wondrous, beautiful stories within transported me away from my cruel reality. When I was reading, I could forget about all my troubles.
Amongst these books, my favorite was one about a friendship between a princess and a young commoner girl — Princess Emerald and Sophia.
The girl in the story shared a name with me — she, too, was Sophia. But in the story, Sophia was popular and cheerful, with a head full of jet-black hair and a pair of sparkling black eyes.
The princess would eventually cross paths with Sophia...
“What beautiful hair you have... would you mind if I ran my fingers through it, just ever so slightly?” the princess said, turning to Sophia with a gentle smile. Sophia smiled back shyly.
It was a most splendid story... one that a cursed child like me could not possibly experience. This was why I continued locking myself up in my room, fantasizing about becoming Sophia — the Sophia in the stories with Princess Emerald.
In my imagination, at least, I could be a girl that was popular and loved by those around her...
“Sophia, please do go to the tea party at the royal castle,” my father said to me, gently as ever, one day.
Up until now, I had not attended any sort of tea party. After all... a single step outside was all it took for people to start whispering about my cursed appearance.
So... I really did not want to go outside. I told my gentle father how I felt. I really did not want to go. But my father, who usually gave in to my demands, did not nod his head on that day.
“Listen, Sophia. Magic dwells in you, and when you come of age, you will be enrolled in the academy, just like your peers. It would not do you much good to stay cooped up in your room all day. The upcoming tea party is hosted by the royal princes, and many noble children will be in attendance. Some of them would even attend the academy with you. If it hurts or becomes difficult, Sophia, then you can come home early — but at the very least, you need to see a little more of the outside world.”
Of course, I knew this was true. When I reached fifteen years of age, I would be forced to attend the academy — even I knew that I could not remain in my room forever, lost in my fantasies and stories.
“At the very least, you need to see a little more of the outside world,” my father said.
He was right... regardless of my misgivings, I did my best to muster up some courage, and decided to attend this tea party.
And so, my brother Nicol and I attended a tea party for the very first time in my life. It was a large and fancy party, held in one of the corners of the royal gardens. There were many people there — crowds of a size I had never seen before.
At first, I wandered around with my brother, looking at various snacks and teas I had never seen before. But soon we were separated, and I found myself surrounded by many other noble children.
All of them had the same severe, judgmental expressions. They ended up bringing me to a tree on the outskirts of the tea party, and under it, we stood.
“Do you even know how important of an occasion this is? This is the first tea party hosted by the royal princes!”
“That’s right! If a cursed child like you shows up at an event like this, you’ll spoil everything!”
“Why are you even here? You shouldn’t be showing that shameful cursed face of yours around!”
They surrounded me, all the while saying terrible things. I knew that I looked disgusting... I knew that people hated me. Even so, all I could do was stand quietly, biting my lip in silence.
I should never have left my room. I would have been safe if I stayed locked up, and something like this would not happen to me.
Just as those thoughts crossed my mind...
“Do excuse me, but you’re in my way.”
A clear voice rang out from behind me. I turned around, and standing before me was a girl. She was cool, composed, and elegant... just like Princess Emerald herself. When did she appear? How did she get there...?
With a single, cool dismissal, the bullies that had surrounded me scattered to the winds. It was all so sudden, and I did not understand what was happening — but I did know that this girl had helped me.
I could only stand in place, stunned, as the girl smiled at me in that same composed and confident manner. Soon she turned around, briskly walking off to some unknown destination.
For a while, my eyes were trained on her silhouette, and all I could do... was stare. I hid behind the tree, afraid that the bullies would return. I only made my way back to the tea party after affirming that they were indeed gone... and as fate would have it, I crossed paths with the girl from earlier.
I should thank her for helping me... And so, I mustered up my courage once more, approaching her with a shaky voice. “Um...”
She turned around in an impossibly graceful manner, with that same calm and collected expression on her face.
“Um... a-about just now...”
I was too nervous. My voice... it wouldn’t come out. Her azure eyes stared straight into mine... then her lips parted, and she spoke.
“What pretty hair you have. Just like strands of silk... would you mind if I ran my fingers through it, just ever so slightly?”
“...Eh?!”
It was a line from Princess Emerald and Sophia... I would know, having read it dozens of times. It was what was said to the bright and cheerful Sophia as she crossed paths with a mysterious girl in town... A girl with an aura of refinement and confidence. Her name was...
“...Princess Emerald,” I said, without thinking.
And then...
“Princess Emerald! From the romance novels!! Perhaps... maybe! You know of Princess Emerald and Sophia too?!”
Before I knew it, the girl had her hands on my shoulders. I could only stand in shocked silence. Why did this girl suddenly say one of Princess Emerald’s lines...? Why was she holding me so tightly by the shoulders? I... I did not know what was going on anymore...
Only curious gazes, or cold, judgmental ones, had been cast at me all my life. And yet... this girl’s eyes were sparkling — they shone as she looked straight at me.
I have never... never seen. Anyone look at me in this manner before... My confusion intensified.
Swept along by the flow, I could only meekly nod as the girl asked me a variety of questions, seemingly getting more excited by the minute.
“...What are you doing, Big Sister?”
A surprised voice from the sidelines. I turned, and there stood a handsome youth with brown hair and blue eyes. The two seemed to know each other.
“Wah! I-I apologize.” The girl finally let go of me at the youth’s question. She then curtsied most elegantly, finally introducing herself. “I do apologize for my manners. I am Katarina Claes. Very pleased to make your acquaintance.”
Her mannerisms and countenance... it was really like she was Princess Emerald, in the flesh.
I soon realized that I had to return the greeting with one of my own, and quickly did so in a somewhat panicked manner. “...Sophia Ascart.”
And then... a most unbelievable thing occurred.
“Lady Sophia! If it would please you, would you like to speak in greater detail with me?”
The girl— no... Katarina’s hands were now holding mine. What is this girl saying...? Does she know who... what, I am?
I could not understand the situation, and only stood still, silent. And then —
“Well then, Lady Sophia. If you would like, please feel free to pay a visit to the Claes manor...”
“...Ah... um. Yes. I will.”
Before I knew it, I had promised Katarina that I would pay her a visit. Even as we finalized the details of my attendance, I felt lost and confused — no longer sure if this was reality, or the dreams and fantasies that I had always imagined while locked away in my room.
And so... the promised day arrived. I had never gone outside on my own, and so naturally, my gentle and caring brother accompanied me.
My brother was a year older than me, with a head of raven-black hair and deep, thoughtful eyes. He had come along to protect me — having him next to me was truly reassuring.
And so I mustered up my courage and made the trip to the Claes Manor. When we arrived, the servants who welcomed us stared at me with expressions of surprise and shock. Although I was already used to all this, I could feel what little courage I gathered rapidly fading.
Perhaps this is all just another prank... As my unease consumed me, she appeared. Her refined features, her rapid breaths — it seemed like she had rushed all the way here. Katarina, however, simply stared at us, not saying a single word.
Is it true? Is it all just a joke, after all? Was I mistaken in coming here? I froze in place, and words never left my lips. My dependable brother, however, spoke up in my stead.
“Thank you very much for extending an invitation to my sister. My sister seldom ventures out on her own, so I have come with her. My name is Nicol. I am Sophia’s elder brother.”
As if shaken awake by my brother’s words, Katarina promptly offered her own response. “No, the pleasure is all mine. Thank you for coming. I am Katarina Claes.”
Thank you for coming...? So this isn’t some prank or joke? Is it... really all right for me to be here?
“Nicol Ascart, elder brother of Sophia Ascart. Pleased to make your acquaintance,” my brother said, once again stating his name.
For some reason, Katarina froze for a moment, not moving in the slightest. I wonder what’s wrong...
I called out to her, worried about her strange state. “...Um. Lady Katarina...?”
“Ah, Lady Sophia. I do apologize. It is nice to meet you again, truly! If you would like, I would be glad to continue our previous conversation...”
And with that, Katarina invited us to a table seemingly prepared for the occasion, with tea, snacks, and all.
While I felt very uneasy at first, that unpleasant feeling slowly faded as I started speaking with Katarina. It was the first time I had ever been able to speak with someone else about the books I loved. Time passed as if it were a dream.
And just like a dream, it was fleeting — before I knew it, the sun was setting. One of our servants leaned in, informing me that it was time for the dream to end... that we had to return.
I stood up, ready to go — and it was then that Katarina called out to me. “What beautiful hair you have... would you mind if I ran my fingers through it, just ever so slightly?”
“...Eh?!” I could only stare blankly, my features frozen in confusion. What is she talking about...? There’s no way this disgusting white hair of mine could be beautiful...
Before I could stop myself, I asked the question I had always wanted to ask. It was that nagging suspicion I’d had in my mind ever since I met her: “...Are you not disgusted by my appearance, Lady Katarina?”
Those looks that were leveled at me as I ventured to the outside world, and the whispers in the shadows, speaking of how repulsive my appearance was...
“...Does it not disgust you, Lady Katarina? This... white hair of mine, only seen in the elderly... these blood-red eyes. Everyone calls me a disgusting, cursed child...”
There was not a single part of me that could be beautiful in any way. I was nothing more than a disgusting thing to be avoided, something for others to avert their gazes from. Nothing more...
“...Cursed? Whatever do you mean...?” Katarina said, stuttering in her confusion.
“...Malicious rumors. From certain individuals who are jealous of our father’s — our family’s achievements. Such jealousy causes them to spread these baseless accusations.” My brother’s voice echoed coldly through the room. My gentle brother, my family — once again protecting me from the world... like always...
“...Even so. It does little to change the fact that my appearance is disgusting and revolting.”
There was no shortage of heartless statements directed at my strange appearance. It had always been this way. Why was I born like this...? I wish I had been born beautiful... just like Sophia from my favorite story.
“...Well, I personally think you’re very pretty...” Katarina said.
Pretty? What is she talking about...? I stared straight at her.
“I think that your silky white hair is beautiful. That your ruby-red, sparkling eyes are beautiful. That... you... are beautiful,” Katarina said, smiling at me as she did so.
Silky white hair... ruby-red, sparkling eyes. Are these truly words that could be used to describe one such as myself? It’s... unbelievable... those words are unbelievable.
Her aqua-blue eyes, however, did not speak of lies as they stared into mine. Katarina... like a hero of justice, she came to my rescue at the tea party. A girl just like Princess Emerald from my favorite story.
“Actually, I would be most pleased if you would come and visit again! And if you don’t mind... would you like to be my friend?” Katarina said, her hands reaching out towards me.
“One day, someone who understands you will appear, Sophia. And you will be great friends.”
I had never once nodded when any member of my beloved family had told me this. It was, after all, impossible... I’d thought that no one like that could ever exist.
I, who had been treated like an outcast, who was always regarded with strange, fearful gazes. To think that anyone would ask for me to become friends with them...
I slowly took Katarina’s hands in my own shivering palms. She held my hands tightly, smiling gently as she held onto them.
Is this a dream...? I could no longer tell as I sat in the horse carriage, still stunned from the events.
My brother, however, smiled at me — a smile that I did not often see. “I am glad that you have made a friend.”
A friend... I’d thought that it would be impossible for one such as myself. That was why I had remained holed up in my room, with nothing but my imagination and daydreams for company. In reality... I had wanted, desired, a friend. For the longest time... that was all I ever wanted.
I recalled the warmth of Katarina’s hands and the happy smile on her face. I had always wanted someone like that... but then, I had given up. And now, I held that very thing... tight in my hands.
From then on, we continued our visits to the Claes manor — and in doing so got to know some of Katarina’s other friends, including her brother and the two crown princes.
Before I knew it, my previously cr
amped and isolated world had expanded — almost impossibly, in the blink of an eye. Mary, another friend of Katarina’s, said this to me:
“A while ago... I hated myself. I hated these hair and eyes of mine — that they were this shade of burnt sienna.”
I was surprised. Mary was much like Katarina — a noble lady of certain means... and yet, she hated herself...? Look at her beautiful hair, her stunning eyes! I couldn’t believe what I was hearing.
“But... when Lady Katarina told me that I was lovable, that I was cute, and that she liked me for who I was... I found that I could no longer hate myself. I found that I loved my hair, my eyes... And so, Lady Sophia, I think that you will be quite all right as well,” Mary said, looking at me earnestly as she did so.
All the individuals gathered in this manor, Mary included, did not think of me as disgusting or revolting. Katarina herself said as such — that my hair and my eyes were beautiful, wonderful things.
All the people I had met up until now thought that I was disgusting... but Katarina was different. Her heartfelt praise made this clear.
Will I one day come to love myself, like Mary has...? Will a day ever come where I will be able to accept this strange appearance of mine?
The future was still a mystery to me. Even so, I now felt that such a day could eventually come to pass.
“Thank you very much,” I said gratefully to Mary.
Mary, however, smiled brazenly, much like how Katarina did. “Just so you know... I have no intentions of handing Lady Katarina over.”
I once thought that reading alone in my room was the best thing I could ever do. I never knew that I would find something so much more amazing... in this wondrous world that I had suddenly been thrust into.
★★★★★★★★★
As summer reached its end, the world was now colored in the beginnings of autumn. Several weeks had passed since Sophia and her brother, Nicol, first visited me at my abode.
With the addition of Sophia, even Mary got interested, and the three of us were collectively swept up in a romance novel boom. Thanks to Sophia’s bibliophilic nature and encyclopedic knowledge, the genres covered in our meetings greatly expanded in scope.
My Next Life as a Villainess: All Routes Lead to Doom!, Volume 1 Page 16
