KARL: I should hope so…left the best part of a hundred pounds in your knickers one night if I remember correctly…you remember that night? My birthday? I had a private room?
LJ: No
KARL: Occupational hazard I’m sure
LJ: Never heard that one before
KARL: Must be horrible…girl like you…looking like you did (She looks a away.) Cocky too…that’s why you did so well I’m sure…men like that…attitude…balls
LJ: Men like a woman with balls?
KARL: Cheeky (Beat.) I offered you another hundred that night…you had me so worked up…remember? Said I’d give you two when you turned me down…
LJ: I turned a lot of men down
KARL: Not anymore (LJ looks away.) I’m just kidding…sorry…bad taste…you’re still an attractive girl (Beat.) I saw you…watching me…that night at Steph’s…what you watching me for?
LJ: I wasn’t
KARL: You were…this time I had you all worked up didn’t I…
LJ: Fuck you
KARL: You’d like to
LJ: In your dreams
KARL: In yours (LJ looks at him.) Come here
LJ: No
KARL: I’m not going to bite you…come here?
LJ: What for?
KARL: Just…come…here (She doesn’t, he moves towards her instead.) What would you say if I told you you could…right here…now? (Beat.) You afraid they’ll come back and see?
LJ: You’d do that to her?
KARL: Doesn’t own me. Come on
LJ: No
KARL: Why not? I mean we’re both adults here…no strings attached or nothing…just sex…don’t you want to have sex LJ?
LJ: Not with you
KARL: Yeah…sure…who else is going to do it with you…might be a while… I’m doing you a favour and not many people would be as generous…you know there’s nothing out there for people like you and me…just closed doors…need to stick together…people like us
He pulls her chair towards him, she seems almost frozen, he kisses her.
LJ: Stop (He kisses her more forcefully, grabs at her breasts roughly.) Stop (But she doesn’t really mean it, she’s lost, this continues as they speak, becoming more frantic. STEPH appears and watches.) Not here
KARL: Outside? (LJ nods.) Well come on
He moves to go, she follows slowly. STEPH watches them exit.
(IV)
STEPH is sitting on the hospital bed holding a knife. She traces the tip of the knife back and forth over her forearm. She has a wine bottle balanced somewhere.
STEPH: I am special, I am precious, I am special, I am precious, I am. (GERRY enters, he looks terrible. He clears his throat.) You might as well just go because you’ve been treating me like…like shit and it’s not right to treat someone like shit because then you…then you…
GERRY: Sorry?
STEPH: Oh no… I’m sorry… I thought you were… I thought you were… (Beat.) Oh, you must be here for the show…for Danny’s show
GERRY: Yes (Beat.) Have I missed it?
STEPH: Nobody turned up. Well. Except you. At least one person turned up. That might cheer him up. He’s recording out the back, you want me to go get him?
GERRY: No that’s alright, I’m sure he’ll…be along
STEPH: Are you a parent of one of the people who died?
GERRY: No… I’m just… I’m a friend of Daniel’s
STEPH: (Relieved.) Oh right…oh…well… I’m Steph
GERRY: (Shaking her hand.) Gerry
STEPH: He’s probably mentioned me to you (GERRY thinks.) I’m his sister? Well his half sister (Beat.) He never mentioned me?
GERRY: I’m sure he did… I’m very forgetful
STEPH: Yeah (Beat.) Actually you look kind of familiar (GERRY goes to say something, she cuts him off.) No don’t tell me, I bet you’re an actor or someone off the telly?
GERRY: No
STEPH: I know (Beat.) Of course (Beat.) You look like Danny’s dad…well like the photo I saw…kind of…it’s your eyes I think…you have nice eyes
GERRY: Thanks
STEPH: I always wished I’d gotten my dad’s eyes but I got my Mum’s…not that her eyes aren’t nice, just that, well, the fact that he’s dead, makes it seem like it would be more exciting to have looked like him…that’s stupid isn’t it? Stupid
GERRY: It’s not stupid. We met at Danny’s show, that’s probably why I seem familiar
STEPH: Oh… I remember…sure (She smiles, beat.) You still remind me of Danny’s dad though. You know Danny’s dad and my dad were different people, but they both died, and then my mum met someone else and then he died…so it’s like I had two dads and Danny had three…and they all died…so I guess we kind of gave up on the idea of having a dad. (Beat.) But Danny… Danny was always such a great guy… (She’s drunk, exaggerating everything.)…always…doing things for people…and I tried… I mean I still do try to do things for him but…you know… I don’t think I’m very good at it. (Beat.) I helped him once though…we were down at the lake…did he tell you about the lake? (GERRY shakes his head.) Oh it’s beautiful…we used to go down there all the time…just the two of us…swimming…we had such great times. But this one time Danny went under and I was counting…you know…timing him…and he must have been under…like…for minutes…minutes and minutes and I went looking for him…and he was just lying there…at the bottom of the lake…just lying there with his eyes closed (Beat, she gasps.) Oh… I did get a bit of a fright then… I thought maybe he was…dead…but he wasn’t he was just playing…and I pulled him by the arm (She gets a bit upset.) but he was stuck…and he couldn’t budge and I just pulled and pulled and pulled and then he opened his eyes and looked at me and I said (Change of tone completely, very upset and frantic.) Get up Danny, get up, you’re scaring me and my chest hurts now get up. (Goes back to narrating it.) and he did. So I helped…once. (Beat.) Danny loves me. (Beat.) He’s the only one who thinks I can do something…something special…succeed in something. (Beat.) I’m going to be a singer, had an audition today and it…it went really well…went fucking magic actually…said I had something…that something that you need to be a pop star…said I was…punchy…that’s it…went really well.
(She stands but almost falls, drops the knife.) Why do people use people? Just to make themselves feel better? Is that it? How can making someone feel like shit make you feel better? (Beat, she puts her head in her hands.)
GERRY: I don’t know
STEPH: I saw the saddest thing today, (Beat.) this dancer…fell from a window right across the road and she died…isn’t that sad?
GERRY: Yes
STEPH: And she was wearing this beautiful costume…white…feathers…she looked like a little dead bird on the pavement (Beat.) So sad (Beat.) I wanted to go over to her and shake her and wake her up and tell her she can’t die…beautiful things shouldn’t be allowed to die because they make you feel…better…less sad (Beat.) Why is everything so sad? I don’t want to be sad I want to be happy (Beat, she puts her head in her hands.)
GERRY: Then be happy. (She looks at him.) Happiness takes time and effort, you have to treat yourself like a very precious object, an object that you wouldn’t place in harm’s way, that way you are in control of your own happiness
STEPH: And that’s all I have to do?
GERRY: Well it’s a start…
STEPH: Alright. Now what?
GERRY: Now you should take my taxi and go home, he’s waiting outside
STEPH: Really?
GERRY: Go home (Beat.) things will seem better in the morning
STEPH: You’d be a good Dad…looking after me…what dads do isn’t it? (Beat, she stands.) I should go say goodbye to the others (Beat.) But you know I don’t quite feel like it
Takes her bag and her jacket and exits. GERRY looks at the items on the table, he picks up the knife that STEPH has dropped and looks at it, tests it’s sharpness, cuts his finger, sucks it. DANIEL enters carrying a camcorde
r, he is surprised to see him.
DANIEL: This is only for friends and families who have lost someone
GERRY: I lost someone
DANIEL: Who lost someone in the accident. (Sees the knife in GERRY’s hands.) Give that to me
GERRY: (Considers it, then puts it behind his back.) No
DANIEL: No? What do you mean no?
GERRY: No
DANIEL: Give it to me
GERRY: What’s with the knives anyway?
DANIEL: None of your business, I want my knife back (GERRY looks at the table and takes another knife and puts it behind his back.) What are you doing?
GERRY: I want you to listen to me first
DANIEL: Or what? You’ll steal my knives? This is ridiculous, keep them, I don’t care, I have plenty more (GERRY takes a small container from his pocket and holds it up in ‘ta da’ fashion.) What?
GERRY: Sodium pentobarbital, the suicide drug.
DANIEL: For me?
GERRY: No actually…for me… I was planning on killing myself tonight and I was wondering if you wanted to film it…
DANIEL: If anyone is killing themselves tonight…it’s me
GERRY: (Picks up a bottle and takes a drink.) I don’t want to live anymore
DANIEL: Me neither
GERRY: I’m in too much pain.
DANIEL: Me to.
GERRY: Fine
DANIEL: (Less sure.) Fine
GERRY: (Beat.) I helped my wife to die (Beat.) I thought it would solve some problems, and it did, but it made more problems.
DANIEL: I have my own problems.
GERRY: I’m hallucinating
DANIEL: I’m depressed
GERRY: I helped people kill themselves
DANIEL: I walked out in front of a car yesterday (GERRY looks at him.) It swerved but I still did it
GERRY: I killed my wife
DANIEL: I can’t compete with you…you killing people…
GERRY: (Beat.) Let me do this…please… I can’t bear it… I can’t bear to be left like this… I’m hallucinating for God’s sake…have been for weeks
DANIEL: Stop saying that…didn’t you see it…in the paper? Those…those towers you saw…in the sky?
GERRY: What about them?
DANIEL: Something to do with thermal structures in the air above the water
GERRY: You’re lying
DANIEL: Why would I lie?
GERRY: Because…because…you’re afraid I’ll steal your thunder
DANIEL: My thunder? What are we in the eighties?
GERRY: Doesn’t matter…doesn’t… I still want to die… I may not be unwell but I’m… I’m…
DANIEL: What?
GERRY: (Quietly.) I’m gay
DANIEL: So?
GERRY: So? So? I can’t be gay, are you insane? How can I be gay? I had a wife for twenty years, I’ve had girlfriends my whole life, I can’t be gay
DANIEL: Why not?
GERRY: Because its not who I am it’s not who I know myself to be…because it makes the time I spent with her seem false and it wasn’t false…it wasn’t…
DANIEL: You can love more than one person
GERRY: (Beat.) I don’t want to. This is for her (He takes the video camera he has around his neck and turns it on.) hold it
DANIEL: No
GERRY: Fine (As he talks he sets it down on the table and focuses it on himself, then he takes the container out of his pocket and pours a glass of water, DANIEL is watching him carefully.) Now I have a speech so if you don’t mind being quiet while I…you know… (Clears his throat.) It’s so difficult to know what to – (DANIEL grabs a knife and holds it to his own throat.) What are you doing? Cutting your own throat is pretty impossible to do well…you could end up bleeding to death for hours…very painful…wouldn’t recommend it…now this… (Holds up the container.)
DANIEL: Give me that…
GERRY: No
DANIEL: I said…give me that (GERRY puts it behind his back, DANIEL lunges for GERRY, they struggle, wrestle about on the floor, GERRY overpowers DANIEL and pins him on the floor.) Get off me…just get off me…get… (GERRY hugs DANIEL very tightly.) What’s happening right now?
GERRY: It’s alright (Beat.) It’s alright.
DANIEL: It’s not alright, its not. Nothing is alright. Nothing is the way it should be. (Beat.) Nothing is the way it was before. (Beat.) Everything is dark, everywhere I look there are only dark things and I just… I want to go back to the way it was before. I want to be on my dad’s shoulders on the beach. I want to be happy. I want to be on that bus and I want it reach its destination. I want to be at the bottom our lake holding my breath and hear Steph calling me to come up for air. I want to come up for air.
GERRY holds him like a child, cradles him. We hear a loud gunshot. They both stop and stare. Lights fade down on them.
SCENE FIFTEEN
Lights up slowly to reveal an exhibition room. We hear the sound of a crowd murmuring nearby. GERRY wanders in and stops to look at the painting of the ship from earlier, without KARL’s drawing. DANIEL enters
DANIEL: So what do you think?
GERRY: I like them
DANIEL: Really?
GERRY: Your paintings are beautiful
DANIEL: You staying for her piece?
GERRY: I’m not sure
DANIEL: She asked me to use it. She told me to. (Beat.) But I don’t know if that makes it any better. (Beat.) You been in to see her?
GERRY: No
DANIEL: They’re deciding…about the life support machine…there’s no guardian so it’s the states decision and the state will decide to keep her alive. I visit her… I used to go every day but there’s not much point… I’m not sure she knows I’m there.
GERRY: It was her choice
DANIEL: I know (Beat.) We should go through, it will be starting
GERRY: Don’t think I’ll stay, if you don’t mind (Reaches out to shake his hand.) I would say that I will see you soon but I don’t suppose I will and what’s the point in lying to ourselves at this point?
DANIEL: Thank you…for helping me…or not helping me…whichever
GERRY: You’re welcome (He holds out his hand to DANIEL to shake.) Good luck
They shake hands and hold until STEPH enters and the moment is broken.
STEPH: It’s starting.
DANIEL stares GERRY for a moment.
GERRY: Goodbye
DANIEL drops his hand. GERRY leaves.
STEPH: Bye. (DANIEL stares at the painting. STEPH stands beside him.) I can see it now Danny, the ship, I can see the stern
Beat.
DANIEL: (Looks at her like she might be his saviour after all.) You want to go home for a while?
STEPH: (Delighted.) You mean it?
DANIEL: I think I’d like to go home for a while
STEPH: But everyone is waiting
DANIEL: Let them wait
Lights down on them leaving and up on a video screen projection of LJ on the back wall. She fumbles for a bit, trying to focus it on herself and then she sits back.
LJ: Hi…well…this is for Danny…this message (Beat.) I know you understand, what it feels like, to be alone. Difference is…you’re not always going to feel like this…and it’s unbearable (Beat, upset now slightly, trying to stay smiling but fear and tears are gathering in her throat, she takes the necklace off and wraps it around her fingers.) All I can think of these days is what it would have been like if you had come into the club one night, just came in, not because you like those sort of places but because you would have seen me somewhere…on the bus…the street…and followed me. I see you coming in and getting a beer and standing at the bar and me coming out looking just….just beautiful…stunning…and our eyes locking and me dancing for you…and you being… (Smiles through the tears.) dazzled… (Beat, she shows us the gun in her hands.) and this…this just makes sense…it came right to me… I didn’t even think about it but yet it ended up right in my lap…what’s for you won’t go b
y you. And you can use this, I give you my permission, use it, use me (Beat.) because then it means something, doesn’t it? It means something (She lifts the gun, opens her mouth, puts the gun in, takes the gun out it.) This is what I want… (Beat.) I should say it… (I love you.) I should…but…well… I guess you know it already… I guess I’ve made it pretty clear
In a fast movement she puts the gun in her mouth and fires. The film stops. In the distance, we see the silhouette of LJ. dancing for a few moments before it disappears into the darkness.
The End
The Dark Things Page 8
