“Oh, fuck…” I groaned. Was it shame that made me lean against the tile and start fucking my fist? That made every detail of the kiss flood my mind now? The soft gasp of surprise when our lips brushed. The way her entire body went rigid as if she wanted to pull away but couldn’t. The taste on her lips, the sour sweetness of the homemade lemonade, and bourbon that I licked from her bottom lip.
Then she made another sound, pained, but hungry. And the look she gave me before she pushed me away? She wanted me. I saw it right there in her blown pupils and her wet lips.
I replayed that moment, again and again, my mind latching on to the what ifs.
What if she hadn’t pushed me away? What if she took my hand and slipped it into the shadow where her robe split? High on the inside of her smooth thigh, just inches from her silken heat.
My breath came in raspy bursts as I imagined myself parting that robe to find her bare underneath it. And, oh god…her pussy. Was it shaved and soft to the touch? Or was it covered in soft hair, the same shade of chestnut brown laced with sun-kissed gold as the hair on her head? Was she wet when I kissed her? Would she let me lick those lips hidden beneath that silk robe, within the dark shadow between her thighs?
A soft thump out in the bedroom made my hand still on my aching cock. It was barely perceptible over the sound of the shower and my ragged breathing, but I opened my eyes and saw that the bathroom door was now open. Not all the way, but cracked just enough that someone could see in.
Did I leave that open?
Nah, I was fairly certain I closed it because I knew I was coming in here to jerk off, and I didn’t want to be disturbed.
But now it was open…
I stepped out of the shower stream, wiped the water from my face, and stared at that gap between the door and the jamb. My first thought was that Scott had caught me with my dick in my hand. That he was recording this so he could embarrass me later when we were out because he was that kind of asshole. I was about to open my mouth to tell him that recording someone nude without their consent was a criminal offense when the person spying on me shifted just enough for me to see that it wasn’t him.
A tumble of dark brown hair. A flash of tawny brown skin.
Darcy.
Darcy was the little spy at the door, hiding in the bedroom, watching me yank on my dick while daydreaming about touching her.
This was my fantasy. This was the exact scenario I’d imagined yesterday morning in that tiny airplane bathroom as it circled the airport. That she was watching me come for her because I only came for her. Only came when she wanted it.
I looked down at my dick. Still hard. Still in my hand.
There was a bottle of bath oil on the shower shelf. I grabbed it and poured a generous amount onto the tip of my dick. Turning to face the mirror, I could see her more clearly. She was still watching — a flush high on her cheeks, one long-fingered hand at her throat. Our eyes locked in that reflection. I bit down on my bottom lip to hide my smile and proceeded to give her a show.
One slippery tug with her watching already had me a lot closer to coming than I’d been a moment ago.
“Fuck, Darcy…” I whispered. “Is this what you want? To watch me come for you?” I shook my head and sighed. “I’ve been coming for you for years, hermosa…”
I may have imagined it, but I swear I heard her moan. A deep, primal, but distinctly feminine sound. Real or imagined, the sound made a shock of intense pleasure shoot up from my balls to the tip of my dick. Precum spilled over my fingers as I teased the tip in short, rough strokes, wanting to draw this out but needing to come now.
Now, now, now, I need it now.
Hesitantly, mostly because I feared that she left the moment I started talking to her, I glanced at the mirror again. She was still there, but her eyes were on my dick, and the look on her face… Fuck.
Her tongue darted out to swipe at her bottom lip, and just that tiny visual sent me right over the fucking edge.
“Shit,” I gasped, and she gasped, too, as my cum hit the glass shower door. My head swam a little, and I used my other hand to brace myself.
By the time I caught my breath, Darcy was gone.
Somewhat sated and infused with a newfound self-confidence, I finished up my shower.
My, my, my, how the tables have turned.
I’d convinced myself that this thing with Darcy could never happen — that even the idea of it was dirty, wrong, bad, and that she would only ever see it as dirty, wrong, bad. Or maybe she still thought it was. Maybe the dirty, wrong, badness of it gave this whole thing a spicy bite that I knew would make it all taste and feel so much fucking better. Either way, a subtle suggestion from me that crossed the boundary from harmless flirting to I will most definitely fuck you if given the chance had her spying on me as I masturbated.
A few moments later, I went back into the bedroom to get dressed. I found the bed stripped of its sheets and a fresh set left folded at the foot. Sitting on top of that freshly washed and folded linen was my missing cellphone. The screen flashed. A schedule alert, probably. I picked it up and unlocked the screen. In addition to numerous schedule reminders, I’d just received a text message.
Darcy: When you’re…all cleaned up,
there’s coffee in the kitchen.
We should probably talk.
6
Darcy
I’ve lost my mind.
This was how it happened, wasn’t it? People joked about menopause. About how you experienced extreme mood swings from happy highs to teary-eyed lows, but what about this vicious spike in my libido? Did it cause that, too? Because what else explained the fact that I watched Tommy get off in the shower while whispering filthy things meant for me to hear?
Is this what you wanted? To watch me come for you?
Was it? Because I watched with hungry eyes and a wet pussy, and I swear I don’t know how I left that apartment without stripping out of my clothes and climbing into that shower with him. Instead, I was running back to the main house with sheets that smelled like his stink bundled against my chest.
How weird would it be to bury my face in this smell and make myself come?
Because that’s what I wanted to do.
Oh, god. I’m losing it. I’m fucking losing it.
Matthew, Carter, and Scott were sitting on the back steps waiting for their rideshare. I hid my face from them and scurried into the kitchen, where Minerva had already started the grits and bacon.
“Hey, Minnie,” I said, trying to keep my tone light and not at all like a woman whose aching wet pussy demanded to be satisfied right this instant. “I’m just gonna put Tommy’s sheets in the washer. Can you get those boys a grub-cup? Grits, eggs, and some bacon to help soak up all the whiskey they drank last night. They need to sober up a little bit before their car gets here.”
“Sure, but let me get that laundry for you, Dar—”
“I’ve got it, Minnie. Just make sure those three don’t throw up on my back porch.”
On bare feet, I speed-walked down the back hallway to the laundry room and slid the pocket door closed. Flipping the lock to engage it, I unbuttoned my jeans and slipped my hand down into my panties without giving it another moment’s consideration.
Wet. So wet. Wetter than I’d been in years. I stroked two fingers over my clit and had to stifle my cry of pleasure against the sheets I’d dumped on top of the dryer.
I closed my eyes, and his face filled my mind’s eye. Desperate need gave his features a severe look that made my heart and pussy throb. The way his forearm flexed with each slippery tug…
My pussy clenched around my fingers.
Is this what you want? To watch me come for you?
“Yes,” I whispered, circling my clit with my wet fingertips.
I’ve been coming for you for years, hermosa…
My back arched as pleasure wound tighter and tighter. I buried three of my fingers deep, as deep as I could, wishing they were any part of him that my pussy clenched a
round as I came, muffling more cries into his dirty sheets.
“Shit,” I whispered. This was fucking weird, maybe borderline deviant, but goddamn…
I wish I could say it was enough, but as I stood upright, bracing myself against the dryer on wobbly legs, I knew it wouldn’t be.
But it had to be, right?
Disgusted with myself, I turned to the basin sink, and, grabbing the liquid soap, I scrubbed away the evidence of my orgasm. I had to get my shit together. And Tommy… We had to talk about this, get it out in the open, and nip it in the bud before it developed into something neither of us wanted.
The rest of the family was due to arrive at ten, which gave me plenty of time to get everything done with Minerva’s help. While she made pancakes, I went upstairs to change into another of my long bohemian dresses. This one plunged in the front and back and was a bit sexier than I usually wore to a family brunch. But there would be pictures, and I knew it photographed well. I contemplated putting my hair up again, but after playing around with it for a bit, I decided to leave it down. It may be dry and in need of a good trim, but I felt sexy and feral with it down around my shoulders and doing its own thing.
I put on a pair of wedge sandals and made my way back down to the kitchen, where Minnie was pulling a pan of biscuits out of the oven. I donned an apron and immediately got to work helping her spread butter and drizzle honey over them. We’d just finished up that task when Tommy walked into the kitchen.
My belly did a lazy flip when our eyes met, and he gave me that secret, wicked smile.
“Good morning,” he said, his voice polite and as steady as his eyes were on me.
“Good morning, Mr. Martinez,” Minnie said cheerily. “You want some coffee?”
“I’ll get it for him, Minnie,” I said, placing a hand on her shoulder. She gave me a sideways glance, because yes, I was acting weird and skittish. I needed to settle the fuck down.
“Cream? Sugar?” I asked, opening the cabinet and reaching for two mugs. When I turned toward him again with the mugs in hand, his eyes flicked upward, and he gave me a sheepish smile. He was checking out my ass, and now I was glad for all that stress management swimming.
“Just cream, please.”
“No sugar, huh?”
“No… I think most people would agree that I’m sweet enough already.”
You definitely are. I bit my lip to hide my smile as I filled both mugs with coffee and cream. I didn’t take mine with sugar either. I handed him one of the mugs, and our fingers brushed, intentionally or unintentionally. Either way, that glancing touch made my cheeks flush, and I suddenly felt too shy to meet his eyes.
“Let’s step out on the side porch and talk for a minute,” I said, tipping my head in that direction.
“Okay.”
Tommy walked out ahead of me, which gave me a chance to get a good look at him. He had become a damn good dresser, but money could do that for a man — and that’s what he was, wasn’t he? A man who knew that tailored clothes could make a casual collared shirt and shorts look expensive. That when a seam fell in just the right place, it broadened the shoulders and tapered the waist.
He turned to me, smiled, and gestured at the two Adirondack chairs. “Should we sit?”
“Uh…yeah,” I stammered because now, he had caught me checking him out.
This part of the side porch got full sun in the morning, which was why I’d placed three big planters of elephant ears to create a little shade and some privacy from my neighbor’s windows, which looked onto it.
“You look…amazing, by the way,” he said softly. His eyes raked over my body and lingered at the plunging neckline for so long I wondered if I’d unintentionally flashed a nipple. But when I attempted to surreptitiously adjust the bodice, he whispered, “Sorry,” then shook his head as if he were trying just as hard as I was to get his thoughts in order. “So… Thanks for returning my phone,” he murmured, then looked up at me.
Is this flop sweat? Suddenly my top lip and the back of my neck, along with one much more intimate place, felt very moist. “Uh… Yeah. About that—”
“Don’t apologize,” he interrupted. “It’s okay. It’s more than okay. If anything, I should be the one apologizing.”
“For what?” I asked.
“Last night? The kiss? I’m sorry about that, but you were standing so close, and you smelled so good—” He bit his lip and looked down into his cup again. “I’m making excuses. I took liberties. I shouldn’t have done that.”
“It’s okay. It’s more than okay,” I said, echoing his words. “I think you know that I liked it.”
A frown creased his brow, and he nodded. “And I think you know I liked you watching me this morning.”
“God… This conversation isn’t going the way it was supposed to.”
“How was it supposed to go?” he asked.
“I was supposed to acknowledge that we’re both feeling a sort of…pull toward each other. And then circle around to why we can’t act on it. Except now, I’m just thinking…”
“Thinking what?” he asked.
I raised my head and finally looked him in the eye. “I’m just thinking about what you said and wondering if it was true.”
“What? That I’ve been coming for you for years? Yes, Darcy. Yes.”
That three-letter word…god, how did he make that three-letter word sound so filthy and suggestive? And years? Scott was right. He did have a crush on me — then and now.
I licked my lips and shifted toward him in my chair. “Listen… I think we both know that that this thing can’t happen.”
“This thing? Can you name it? Call it what it is? I…I think I’d like to hear it,” he asked haltingly.
“That kiss last night…me watching you in the shower this morning. We can’t let this go any further than it already has. You’re my son’s best friend, and I don’t think you want to test your relationship with him in that way. We can’t cross this line, Tommy,” I whispered. I swallowed hard and realized that even talking about how we couldn’t act on it had made me slippery wet. God, the wrongness of it, the wrongness of wanting him like this, made my hunger for it even more delicious.
“It’s really hard to talk about a line we can’t cross when what I want is on the other side, knowing that you want it, too.”
“Tommy, you can’t...we can’t...” I looked around, afraid that someone overheard him. God. I really wanted to be kissed right now. Needed to be. “Jared would be upset and disgusted with both of us. And honestly! I’m old enough to be your mother—”
“I’m aware,” he interrupted. “But you’re not my mother.” He set his coffee cup on the arm of the chair and turned toward me, making the space between us more intimate. “My relationship with Jared is important to me. I’m closer to him than I am to any of my brothers, and that’s not something I want to lose, but…fuck, Darcy. I haven’t been able to talk myself out of wanting you since I was nineteen years old. And after last night and this morning… I don’t know how you can expect me to.”
“Tommy, I—”
“Nope. It’ll be impossible at this point.” He shook his head and coughed out a laugh filled with complete disbelief. “Now that I’ve had a hint of your taste and heard your soft, growly, kitten moans? There’s absolutely no fucking way that I’m going to be able to stop wanting to hear those sounds or wanting to be inside of you so—”
“Are you sure I look okay?” a familiar voice said just beyond the giant elephant ear leaves that hid us from view.
“Baby, you look perfect. Gorgeous. What are you so worried about, anyway?” Jared said. Brandi and Jared were coming up the back walkway.
“We should probably drop this subject for now. Or permanently,” I said, then practically jumped to my feet. “Everyone will be here soon, and we can’t… We shouldn’t—”
Tommy tipped his head and gave me a pained look. “Darcy,” he whispered.
And damn it, I should have never given him permission
to use my given name because hearing it whispered from his lips made denying this dark, needy thing growing between us even harder to ignore.
He reached for me and grabbed my wrist in a loose hold, stroking the pad of his thumb over my pulse point. “Can we please continue this conversation later?”
“What would be the point in that?” I asked, trying not to be swayed by his gentle, reverent touch. “We can’t have each other, so what’s the point of talking like this?”
He let me go and sank back into the chair. “You’re right,” he murmured.
The look on his face damn near crushed me. “Tommy—”
“Hey, ma! And Tommy…what’s going on?” Jared asked, glancing between the two of us as he climbed the stairs with Brandi trailing behind him. “Everything okay?”
“Of course!” I said, pulling him into a quick hug and a kiss. “Just sharing a cup of coffee and some conversation.”
“I was apologizing for letting things get out of control last night,” Tommy volunteered.
Jared cringed. “Yeah, sorry about that, ma. We didn’t cause too much damage, did we? I really don’t remember much.”
“Don’t worry about it. Me and Tommy took care of everything. Brandi! Look at you! I love this dress, and your hair looks so pretty that way,” I said, hoping to disparage the negative thoughts she’d voiced when she was coming up the back walk. She really was a gorgeous girl. Dark-skinned, and fine boned with big, upturned eyes, and tiny little chin that gave her face a doll-like appearance. I knew how it felt to have a mother-in-law who disapproved, and I didn’t want to put her through that. Besides, she really was a lovely girl. I decided to make more of an effort to connect with her today. And it would be a good distraction.
“I love your dress, too!” Brandi said, a nervous smile playing on her lips.
I could feel Tommy’s eyes on me as I escorted Brandi inside. It took everything in me not to return that look. To offer him some sort of comfort after the way our conversation ended. I knew he felt sore about it, but what could I possibly say to soothe him? Nothing I said was untrue. We couldn’t have each other, so we both just needed to accept that.
If She Says Yes Page 6
